[Comprehensive] Daily life of the retired savior

On the coastal road within a short distance of 100 meters, there are only one tree in the line, and none of them escaped the catastrophe, plus the overturned trash can and a few buffer piles that died along the way... I think Osamu Dazai should not drive one A modified car, he should drive a modified armored car or a tank...

"Get down! Don't destroy public facilities anymore!" I angrily unfastened my seat belt and got out of the car, dragged him out of the driver's seat and stuffed him into the back seat, and said seriously: "Don't touch anything! You show the way, and I'll drive! "

Then when we stumbled all the way back to the Sandao, the two cars were probably not too far away from returning to the factory...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Well, of course it can only be me who can make such a hearty and happy laugh. Dazai Osamu who is sitting in the back row has probably entered the state of a sage and is thinking about the true meaning of life - given that it only took me 1 minutes to get from the red brick Back from the warehouse, the whole journey is about five to 60 kilometers. I don’t know how fast I ran. Anyway, I drove more and more without knowing it. Well, everyone knows that the coastal road is wide There is no one in Youping yet, so it's really interesting to go crazy!

Although there were a few bumps and bumps at the beginning because I was not familiar with the condition of the car, I drove very well after that. In the middle of a section, Dazai even opened the window and stuck his head out to blow the wind. Why did he suddenly become delicate when he arrived at the place? get weaker.

"..." He spit out a string of unintelligible gibberish codes, unfastened his seat belt and went straight to the nearest bush. I turned off the engine and closed the car door and slowly walked over with water and paper towels.

This poor guy is really weak, he vomits when he rides a roller coaster, he also throws up when he rides an ordinary family car, he looks like a delicate young master—is he worthy of your brutal profession?

"Did I drive too fast..." Seeing him so uncomfortable, I couldn't help introspecting for a moment, and the joy of holding the steering wheel and driving fast also faded a bit.

The boy with a pale face and sweating head barely gave me a weak smile: "Miyin, did you want to die with me just now? Didn't you drive too fast? If you want to blame it, you can blame the modified car dealer for not installing an engine on the car. Wing... vomit—!"

Feeling guilty for three seconds, I helped him wipe away the cold sweat. I supported Dazai and walked slowly up the bluestone steps. At the end of the path, there was a girl with pink hair standing in front of the mottled wooden door except for the vermilion torii gate.

The slightly damp clothes and hair indicate that she has not been standing here for a while, uh... I am several times more guilty than before, and even felt the chill of standing in the morning wind for the first time...

Wait...why do I have this strange illusion that a scumbag cheated on me and was caught on the spot!

"Matthew, you..." How long have you been standing here?

Before I let go and walked over, Dazai quickly grabbed my wrist with his backhand and pressed the whole body on me: "It's so uncomfortable, it's all because of Mi Yin-chan, they just said no..."

!!!

Don't talk nonsense!

Mash's gaze changed from facial paralysis to shock to comprehension and finally to reverence, and the way she looked at Dazai quickly evolved from ignorance to...uh...a very strange state.

How should I put it, it's like an old mother who is pleased that her wild boar can finally make cabbage, but this cabbage doesn't seem to be chewy...

Probably because there is some scrutiny and suspicion in the pickiness.

"Mashu, things are not what you think!" I stretched out my palm to Matthew in an attempt to save my innocence, the girl immediately blushed and pushed open the gate of the shrine, came over and "picked" Dazai off me and carried her all the way in. : "Is it the custom here, senior, to eat red bean rice?"

"I said it's different from what you think, this guy is just motion sickness!" I couldn't help amplifying my voice, Matthew only listened halfway, then looked at Dazai with the eyes of a martyr: "How dare you let senior drive... How dare you sit down!"

Dazai: "I didn't expect Miyin-chan to be a wild pie..."

For a moment, these two people seemed to be on some kind of radio wave, and it even made me feel a chill behind my back.

"I'm driving okay, I'm just a little speeding..."

"Senior, you are a drag racer who can leave fantasy species behind..."

"You're almost as fast as the Shinkansen, my dear."

The unanimous complaint made me speechless for a long time——Mashu, what's the matter with you, why are you siding with Dazai!I'm going to make a fuss!

I was very unhappy when I got double servings. After frying eggs and toast and sausages, I opened a bottle of canned beans to send the two people who were waiting for dinner.

Why an English breakfast?Of course, it is to take care of Matthew's living habits. As for Osamu Dazai...some food is good, picky eaters, go back to Hong Kong as soon as possible!

After the meal, I sent the brazen guest to wash the dishes. I took several deep breaths before opening my mouth and said to Matthew: "Dazai will stay here for the next two days, will there be any impact?"

Matthew's expression once again changed from the usual standard mode to complete the process of shock, understanding and admiration in an instant: "You are worthy of being a senior!"

"Wait, Mash, who taught you all the things you made up in your head? It's just an ordinary stay. Don't believe even a comma if there is no truth in Dazai's mouth!"

I bent forward in despair, and Matthew was convinced that she really wanted to go wrong just now, so she blushed and said incoherently: "Eh? I didn't, I didn't think about it, absolutely not! Miss Maeve also Nothing was said, really (a)!"

... This strange emoticon is really hard for people not to mind, just like it is hard not to mind the "Ms. Maeve" that Matthew mentioned.

She was the one who spoiled the innocent little girl, right?

An evil idea suddenly appeared in my mind, and then I happily put this idea into practice - I picked up the pillow in the bedroom and played a pleasant pillow fight with Matthew... The pillow broke and the stuffing inside was scattered Splash, isn't that evil enough!

Regarding the fact that Osamu Dazai insisted on moving to the shrine, after confirming that Mash had no bad feelings, I went to the warehouse to take out the spare quilt to dry in the sun for a while, and then fished it out of the ditch in the fruit and vegetable field. According to his own statement, he just wanted to catch Frogs to keep and watch new tenants.

"The book says that men who have pets are more popular. Maybe Mi Yinjiang is just a cute pet away from falling in love with him... I wanted to catch a snail to raise, but I accidentally stepped on it. So in the end, it was decided that it would be better to change to Miyako Toad with a brighter color."

The person with the weeds on his head was stuffed into the bathroom by me, and when he cleaned himself up and put on a clean bandage and appeared in a spare bathrobe, I ordered him to lie down and rest under the quilt again: "Really, don't get sick!"

"If Mi Yin you stay and sleep with me, I will definitely not get sick~"

Your sleeves are almost torn off by you, since you are so energetic, there is no big problem: "Bring you another pillow as a comfort doll, let me go, it's fine for me to stay, but you are really willing to give your life to do something Is it worth the price?"

Matthew's dinner table warning you forget so quickly?

"In this way, it's considered a martyrdom! If it's for Mi Yin-chan, it's a good choice to die for you~" Dazai blinked his eyes and suddenly became excited, I forced him into the quilt three times from the left to the right and wrapped it tightly. Immobilize him:

"You'd better do me a favor, don't just add an incredible burden to me!"

"Hey, got it."

He moved and found that he couldn't break free at all, so he had to obediently close his eyes, and soon fell asleep.

Sleep is not an essential requirement for me, so when Dazai fell asleep, I closed the sliding door for him and left the guest room.Matthew sat on the porch with the cat in his arms and dozed off for a while, and was soon persuaded to go back to the room to catch up on sleep. Only then did the shrine become quiet again.

I rubbed the cat's ears, and it arched my hand with its nose in admiration and made soft sounds of "Mi~" and "Meow~", probably because it was hungry.

"Okay, okay, I'll cook chicken breast for you, let's eat meat~"

Cat food is not difficult to make, and soon the cat buried its face in the food bowl and ate without raising its head. I couldn't help but sigh when I saw it - this cat really can't get a little bit of orange, but anything with a little bit of orange Just an excavator player...

...

I don't dislike cats for eating too much, but I envy them that they can eat and sleep carefree.

About two or three hours later, the sliding door behind me was suddenly opened, and the smell of medical potion suddenly surrounded me, and at the same time, there was an extra weight suddenly added to my back: "It's great, Mi Yin didn't disappear, It seems that there is a good fulfillment of the agreement..."

"Did 039 have a nightmare?"

No wonder the voice was trembling, and even the frequency and depth of breathing were slightly different from usual.

"Yeah, a super scary nightmare, but luckily it's just a dream."

He let go of me and stretched my waist, walked back to the room and changed back to the "work clothes": "Oh, my work time is coming soon, I really don't want to leave my Miyin."

Hehe, he acted as if he was real, and he was about to deceive himself.

Before I could open my mouth to complain, someone knocked on the gate of the shrine.This time, the visitor was quite polite and gentlemanly. After the door rang three times and received a response, he returned to silence, as if he was seriously waiting.

I went to open the door, and there was an old gentleman outside who had met once.He has white beard and hair, wears a stiff overcoat, single-sided glasses, and a pair of gloves on his hand, with a box on the ground next to him.

Seeing me appear, he bent slightly and said: "Good day, Ms. Miyin, I was sent by the boss to pick up Mr. Dazai, and bring his luggage here by the way. 'Please treat this child kindly', these are the original words of the boss ..."

Me: ...Mr. Mori, don't just give your troubled children a headache for others!

And Dazai, wearing his black coat, swayed to the door and waved his claws to say goodbye to me: "Wait for me to come back~ It shouldn't take too long~" After speaking, he took out a copy of "Complete Suicide" from the side pocket of his coat. "Handbook" turned and walked out: "Since I promised Mi Yin-chan... oh... I can only flip through this famous book to soothe my soul..."

Then I stepped out of the gate of the shrine with an expression of "Why are you acting like a baby like this?" ...

Are you still a fan of Emile Durquet?

Of course I don't believe everything Osamu Dazai says, but I also know that he is definitely not a random person.Everything this guy does will lead to a big pit in the near future. I don't know who will be thrown into the bottom of the pit and can't turn over-probably, it shouldn't be me, hehehehehe.

It's better to call Yato quickly to see what's going on with this guy!