Late ripening

Compared with the last semester, Jing Yan is busier for the remaining half year.There are two courses that are hard not to talk about, and I often have to stay up late to do experiments and write reports.After adapting to this kind of life schedule, it has been almost two weeks since school started.

Occasionally he would forget the time and send a message to Lu Qian in the middle of the night, but he seemed to be working too, and the message was replied in a timely manner, although it was often only a few words.

Jing Yan calculates the time, it seems that he will come over next month.He was in a hurry, and wanted to spend two days at the end of the month to concentrate on being with him.

Now that he has agreed to start over, he doesn't want to dwell on the bad memories of the past.And Lu Qian has changed a lot, he can see it, he can't ignore it, and he can't erase it.

Maybe they won't fall into entanglement as quickly as before, but both of them try their best to maintain this hard-won relationship.It is no longer gushing out, but more of a slow infiltration of a fine stream.

Jing Yan said hello to the people in the lab, went outside to make a phone call, the phone rang several times and was picked up, the signal over there seemed to be not very good, and Lu Qian called out "Jing Yan" in a low voice.

Hearing the voice, he realized that the two of them hadn't talked on the phone these days. They were too busy with each other. Jing Yan blamed himself a little. If he didn't contact, Lu Qian wouldn't dare to disturb him often.

"Are you still working?" There was some background noise from him, but it wasn't too noisy.Lu Qian spoke intermittently, "No, I'm busy with something."

"Oh..." Jing Yan replied, not knowing what to say.Lu Qian's voice sounded tired, but there seemed to be some other emotions in it. "When you come over next month, help me put my white sneakers on. I forgot to put them in the box. Will you be busy then, I should be able to spend two days with you..."

His laboratory is on the upper floor of the science and technology building. The evening wind blows outside, and the new branches sway, as if it is spring.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be going." Lu Qian interrupted him on the other end of the phone, and there was a moment of silence afterwards.

Jing Yan squeezed the phone, waiting for his explanation.Maybe it was the scheduling, or maybe the client canceled the meeting.In short, he felt that Lu Qian would give him a reason.

He has changed a lot, hasn't he?No more keeping things under wraps to cover one's decisions, and no more losing touch for no reason.He knew what kind of respect Jing Yan wanted now.

But Lu Qian only threw out an unacceptable perfunctory sentence, "I have something to do here..." It seemed that someone on the other end wanted to talk to him, and he covered the microphone to talk to others.

Here we go again, again.Jing Yan's heart fell to the bottom of the valley, pulling back all the bad memories in an instant.He did keep building himself mentally, telling himself that what happened might happen again in the future, but he didn't expect it to be so soon.

After Lu Qian finished communicating with the people over there, he called him hoarsely, "Jing Yan..."

Jing Yan withdrew his mind and emotion, and replied without any ups and downs. "Oh, I see." He was going to hang up the phone and stop listening to that person's voice. "It's nothing, I'll hang up first."

"Wait." Lu Qian yelled urgently and loudly, even if he had put the phone away from his ear, he could still hear it.

"I didn't..." He wanted to explain, but gave up looking for other reasons. "My father died."

When he said this sentence, his voice was very soft, as if Jing Yan couldn't catch it.But the meaning in the words was so heavy, he repeated it in a daze. "Your father..."

"He passed away. He suffered a heart attack during the foreign tour at the beginning of the month, and I'm not in China now. I shouldn't be able to go to your place so soon after this is finished, you..."

"Why didn't you tell me!" Jing Yan interrupted him violently, his voice echoing in the empty corridor.

Lu Qian fell silent, only the sound of Jing Yan's rapid breathing after getting angry.He immediately regretted the sentence he yelled at him, Lu Qian is feeling very uncomfortable now, right?Even if he didn't contact his father for a long time, he was still a real person who accompanied him from childhood to adulthood.

But the other side is calm, and there is no sadness, only the exhaustion after telling the truth. "Don't say it's because I'm afraid of delaying your class. I thought it would be dealt with quickly, but now it's quite troublesome."

He seemed to be smiling, "He is an artist, there will be many people waiting to bring the ashes back to S City to express their condolences, and there will be many things to deal with later."

It seemed that Lu Qian was also standing by the window, and the sound of a car horn came from him. "I can't see you anymore, but I miss you very much."

Jing Yan's eyes were sore, he had never met Lu Qian's father, he only knew that he was a parent who didn't care about Lu Qian and was indifferent.But now he still couldn't help thinking how painful Lu Qian would be there.His father died, and even though he had been an adult for a long time, he would never be a child again.

"Why don't you look at me..." Jing Yan spoke to him in a crying voice, "Don't say these things now. I...I'm very worried about you..."

"I'm fine." Lu Qian comforted him gently, "It's just a pity."

Jing Yan didn't bother to ask him what he regretted, he held the railing tightly with one hand, "I want to accompany you."

"No need, take your time in class. I've read the timetable. Aren't there some difficult subjects? You're still an exchange student, so it's not convenient to ask for leave at school." Lu Qian thought he was just thinking about himself, "I'll try to see you as soon as possible. OK?"

He hung up the call after saying a few more words, Jing Yan wiped his eyes, and sat on the steps with his knees hugged.

Withdrawing from feeling sorry for him, Jing Yan was more melancholy and inferior.He wanted to accompany him not only to miss him, but also to let him know that the two of them are each other's partners, each other's pillars, and are equal.

Jing Yan knew that he shouldn't think about these small thoughts when the other party's relatives passed away. Compared with life and death, these are simply too insignificant.What can I do by myself, and what identity do I use to stand by Lu Qian's side?

He sat with his head buried in his knees for a while, trying to stand up while leaning on the railing.Everyone has their own life, and maybe the lives of two people will never intersect. He can't help, so he can only do what is in front of him.

The WeChat voice came on again, it was Lu Qian calling.He cleared his throat, holding back the tears before picking them up.

On the other side, Lu Qian seemed to have finally given up his calmness and pretense, his voice was fragile and uncertain.

"I lied again. I want you to come, I want you to be with me, and I need you too."

Even though he said so, the passport is at home, and the visa is too late, he can only let Jing Yan go back to S city to wait for him in a few days.

He hung up the phone, leaned against the wall of the funeral parlor, and exhaled.

From the moment of shock when he received the call to the present, Lu Qian still feels that what happened is not real.

His father died on the way to his plane before he could see him one last time.He and his father haven't seen each other for five years, and he never thought of saying goodbye in this way.

Lu Qian doesn't remember much about the quarrel in the old house that year, what he said to his father at the end.But he didn't regret it. There was indeed no emotion between them, and indifferent, hurtful and distant conversations were almost the norm.

Lu Zhonghong visits and organizes exhibitions abroad all the year round, and he loves the wandering life of artists.These years, they only sent simple greetings by text messages during the holidays. Lu Qian would send a sum of money to his father's account every year, but in fact, his father was far richer than him and lived a smarter life than him.

It's just that he thought his father would grow old and get sick, and in the end he would be taken care of by an unfilial son who Lu Zhonghong looked down on the most. Maybe they would quarrel in the hospital, and this state would last until the day his father passed away.

In the hospital, he had only a short time to say goodbye.The room where the body was placed was very air-conditioned, Lu Qian stood there quietly watching for a while.

"I'm sorry." He only had this sentence. If he was more mature, he should abandon and endure all his father's shortcomings and try his best to accompany him.Although he had no regard for himself and no identification with his own cause, it was none other than his father lying on it.

No one knows whether Lu Zhonghong loves his son or not, Lu Qian doesn't know, and doesn't want to know more.

Just after talking on the phone with Jing Yan just now, Lu Qian suddenly had a question that he really wanted to get an answer to.

He wanted to ask his father, am I a good guardian compared to you?Am I letting him repeat the loneliness and helplessness I experienced?Have I really taken good care of Jing Yan and fulfilled the promises I secretly promised when I adopted him?

No one could answer him.At that moment he really wanted to see Jing Yan, Jing Yan was the answer itself that could answer all questions.

The answer is a mirror, letting Lu Qian know that he is a bad and immature person.Possessing him badly, abandoning him badly, until now he refuses to face his true identity by his side,

That adoption relationship was long over.It ended with the first kiss Jing Yan gave him, and the first sentence he said "I like you too".

Lu Qian finally admitted that Jing Yan was no longer the boy he wanted to take care of all the time, they were one and equal, and they wanted to walk every step of the way together.

He hastily made a second phone call to Jing Yan.He is as irresponsible as his father, but he is luckier than his father. He has gained a lover who is worth cherishing with all.

The plane landed, and the father's ashes and belongings were placed in a special box.He drove home and paused when he opened the door.

The villain who was supposed to be back in a few days threw himself into his arms and gave him a hug he had never had before.