Late ripening

Lu Qian sat on the bed and rubbed his neck for a while before getting up, and his neck fell again.He has been sleeping in the small bedroom for three days in a row, and he really doesn't know how Jing Yan managed to sleep here before, with only one leg being able to touch the ground.

After coming out of the bathroom, he stood in the living room and glanced at the master bedroom.The door was wide open, and Jing Yan never closed the door these days, and every night he would ignore him with a cold face and hug the quilt while hiding at the head of the bed, and walk into the small bedroom without saying a word.The person on the bed was still sleeping, curled up facing the window, breathing steadily.

A long time ago, a little man told him that he would feel insecure if he didn't close the door at night. Maybe he fell asleep very late these days.Lu Qian sighed, opened the door lightly and went to work.

After the car got off the highway, Lu Qian responded to three text messages while waiting for the red light, read two briefings, and did not stop until he entered the underground garage.He allowed himself to be preoccupied with things, not to think about that night.

It was really an embarrassing and hurtful night, Jing Yan was so thin, when he hugged him, he could let him go with just a little force.But when Lu Qian touched his hand on his waist, he trembled, just as scared as the day he confessed his love in the study.

Jing Yan is not without fear, fear of rejection, cold words and ridicule, but he can always put those fears behind him, hold a burning heart in front of his eyes, and pretend to be brave enough to tell himself that he knows everything. not afraid.

Lu Qian was also afraid, he was afraid that his previous efforts would be wasted, and he was afraid of seeing Jing Yan's fragile and helpless expression.He threw the quilt over him in an attempt to cover him, and fled to another room without daring to look back.

I'm really a coward, Lu Qian stopped the car and leaned on the back of the seat.He could feel the beating heart under the quilt becoming no longer warm and dripping with blood.I pierced it myself, bit by bit with the sharpest knife.

The damage had already been done, but he couldn't even do the aftermath, he could only let Jing Yan heal his wounded heart.Jing Yan might hide somewhere and wait for him to go to comfort him, hug him, give him a little weak painkiller, and then assemble into a seemingly intact person to love him again.

He seemed to be a bad hit-and-run, Lu Qian lay on the steering wheel, hoping that Jing Yan would give him the heaviest punishment.

Someone knocked on the car window, he woke up and pressed the button, Guan Ruipeng stood outside and looked at him with concern. "Is Lawyer Lu not feeling well? Why don't you go up?" Lu Qian pushed the door and got out of the car, "It's okay, maybe I haven't had a good rest. Are the financial and responsible persons of your company here?"

Years later, Guan Ruipeng's company restarted its listing plan, and after comparing several law firms, it still chose Lu Qian's.The two of them walked to the meeting room, Lu Qian switched his mind to the state of facing the client, closed the door and started the formal work.

Talking all the way through the afternoon that the contract plan was finally finalized, and the client wanted to invite several lawyers to dinner, Lu Qian generally couldn't avoid such a situation.Knowing that he would probably drink some wine, he walked to the front desk and asked the secretary if the driver was in the company today.

"Don't be so troublesome, I'll just send you off after dinner." Guan Ruipeng walked behind him and said, "Recently, I suffered from otitis media, and I can't drink alcohol after eating cephalosporins. I'll send you off."

The secretary was still on the phone, Lu Qian looked at the time and it was probably too late, nodded and got into Guan Ruipeng's car.

No matter how elegant people are in the business field, they will naturally have another set of rules when they come to the wine table.The customer was in high spirits, so he insisted on asking Mr. Lu to persuade him to drink several glasses of wine.Lu Qian was not in his mind here, so he had to cheer up to deal with it.

During the dinner, he took the time to go out to make a phone call, but stood at the door of the hotel with his mobile phone smoking.Maybe he was in a daze for a long time, Guan Ruipeng came out from the door to look for him. "You seem to be okay with drinking."

He stubbed out his cigarette in the trash can, "Generally speaking, the secretary would hold a few drinks for me in the past, and it's been a long time since I drank so much." He looked at his watch, "It's almost over here? The agreement is ready, and I will send it to you when the time comes."

Guan Ruipeng nodded, "Okay." The two walked back and socialized for a while, and the banquet broke up.Although he drank a lot, fortunately, Lu Qian didn't feel uncomfortable except for a little dizziness.He got into Guan Ruipeng's car, said his community name and closed his eyes for a while.

Halfway through the car, Lu Qian woke up most of the wine. Guan Ruipeng drove a little fast, and he liked to change lanes to overtake. It didn't seem like his usual style of talking and doing things.When he got to the entrance of the community, Lu Qian wanted to get out of the car, but he drove the car in and parked it on the side of the road. "Let's go down and walk together."

The two of them were walking in the garden of the community. Lu Qian lived in a well-known high-end community in S City. The property fee was high, and the garden was well-maintained. They were all seasonal flowers planted by a florist.Lu Qian is not very interested in the flowers themselves, walking here only thinks of another place that he just visited a few days ago.

Guan Ruipeng stopped at a booth, took out a pack of cigarettes and passed one over.Lu Qian took the lighter and said "thank you".Before exhaling the first puff of smoke, the person on the other side said, "Actually, I liked you a little bit when I was in college."

The night was too dark, and he couldn't see the speaker's expression clearly.Lu Qian sent out the first puff of cigarette, and a white mist rose in the winter night.

They are all adults, and it's not that he can't perceive that meaning.It's just that he tried his best to avoid it. The emotional world of adults is like playing a game. Before the other party doesn't say it, he is not a participant in the game.

But why stand here and listen to him now?Lu Qian himself was a little confused.

"But you don't know me either. After graduation, that kind of thought became even weaker. I didn't expect to meet you again." Guan Ruipeng also took a cigarette and played it in his hand.

"You don't have a regular partner right now, right?" Lu Qian frowned slightly when he heard this sentence. What is a regular partner and a temporary partner? He didn't feel very comfortable with these words. "Or to put it another way, you don't have a boyfriend now, do you?"

Lu Qian didn't say a word. He was unhappy that his privacy had been violated, and then he was distracted by this word.Maybe it will be gone soon, the three words that have existed in his life for a short time.

Guan Ruipeng took this silence as his default, walked up to him with a cigarette, put the cigarette and the end of the roll paper on the cigarette in Lu Qian's hand, touched it for a few seconds, and ignited it with sparks. "Lu Qian, how about we try it?"

Lu Qian watched him bow his head and approach, then backed up a few steps, standing not too far away to share the same taste.He has experienced several scenes of confession, some of which are straightforward and tough, some of which are charming, and some of which are so ambiguous now.

But obviously none of these types are suitable for him, and none of them belong to him.Will the appearance of the beginning of a relationship be engraved in the relationship along the way?Only the painful and sweet kiss in the study can fully possess him.

The other party seems to think that there is a gap in his non-refusal attitude, as if smoke can penetrate into the stone along the crack.Guan Ruipeng moved closer, his face was very close to him, and his lips pressed against Lu Qian's with smoke.He has a faint scent of woody cologne, which is advanced and not annoying.

Lu Qian was erratic, and alcohol slowed down his thinking.Almost touching, he tilted his head and took a step back.Guan Ruipeng stood still very well.

"There's no need to try, I'm not interested." Lu Qian threw away the remaining half of the cigarette, "Thank you for sending me back. Goodbye."

"Hiss—" The tip of his finger was cut again by the knife.Jing Yan turned on the faucet, and recently he told Mrs. Yu that he would cook dinner for Lu Qian.In fact, he only came home late at night, and he never ate anything he made.

The wound was a bit deep, and the bleeding was very difficult to stop.Jing Yan was afraid of soiling the dishes, so he went to the bathroom to find a Band-Aid.There was a row in the storage cabinet behind the mirror, and he tore one off and stuck it to his hand.

After closing the cabinet door, Jing Yan was taken aback by his sudden appearance in the mirror.I haven't combed my hair well for many days, and sometimes I just lay down under the quilt without wanting to dry it after taking a shower.

The rice has not been eaten well, he doesn't want to be seen by Mrs. Yu, so he still eats mechanically every day.However, what I eat is often indigestible, and it is still stuck in the stomach like a hard lump at night.

The person in the mirror is really a bit embarrassed, under the too long bangs is a pale and haggard face, Jing Yan brushed his hair up with his hands, and there are many small wounds on his fingers.Some were scalded by oil, some were touched by cutting vegetables, some Jing Yan didn’t know how to do it himself, and only felt the pain when he touched the water in the bath at night.

He didn't have the heart to deal with it, but fortunately, the weather was cold so that it wouldn't cause inflammation and infection, and some of them were almost healed and gradually formed a little scab.

It's already past ten o'clock in the evening, Jing Yan doesn't know the time of day, and even loses some judgment on morning and evening.He didn't know what he was doing, he just remembered that in case Lu Qian came back and wanted something to eat, there would be hot soup and rice waiting for him at home.

However, no matter how late it is usually, he should be back at this time.Jing Yan put the cooked noodles on the table, his heart was beating suddenly.Will he not come back?No matter how many quarrels and cold wars there were, he couldn't help but go home.

He couldn't help thinking about that night, a humbling and exhausting one.Jing Yan thought about it over and over every day, recalling every move of Lu Qian, thinking that he would leave as if he couldn't bear to stay by his side for a second.

Jing Yan couldn't sit still any longer, and was about to go downstairs with only a coat on top of his pajamas.He must wait for Lu Qian to come back, he has to watch Lu Qian's car drive back to the yard with his own eyes, and then tell him that if he can't stand himself, he is willing to hide in the bedroom and not come out so as not to upset him, but he has to go home, You can't stay in the same room with yourself.

Winter in the south is almost over, and the yard is still shiveringly cold.Jing Yan was walking around, when a car drove past him, the lights made his eyes hurt.He didn't care, and dodged sideways for a while.

Walking around again, he saw two more people chatting in the pavilion at some point.Jing Yan had no intention of eavesdropping on other people's conversations, and wanted to go around under the trees in the garden.After only two steps, he stopped. "Thank you," was Lu Qian's voice.

Then there was the sound of a lighter being lit, and before Jing Yan could guess whether the other party was a client or a colleague, the confession came to his ears.

It wasn't the first time he encountered such a thing, but last time he didn't hear how others confessed.Jing Yan wrapped his coat tightly, thinking that I was just standing here waiting for him, nothing else.

"You don't have a boyfriend now, right?" The other party's voice sounded very determined, Jing Yan had no time to think about why others would think that Lu Qian was single, and was only waiting for Lu Qian's response.

However, there was no sound, and Lu Qian did not speak.This kind of silence seemed to have sentenced him to death. Lu Qian did not acknowledge him, let alone introduce him to others.He is a relationship that Lu Qian can never say.

Jing Yan felt his temples twitching, and his eyes hurt as if they had been pricked by needles, or like ice picks, piercing straight from the eye sockets to the bottom of his heart.

The pavilion is surrounded by lush flowers and trees, Jing Yan is well blocked.He didn't hear what the other party said, but saw him approaching Lu Qian and kissing him very naturally.

The kiss in the night looked so romantic, he forgot that without those girls, there would be a man more suitable than him standing beside Lu Qian.And he has always been able to assume the role of a humble and wretched voyeur under the shade of the tree, and he has no courage to stand up.

In the past, he felt that Lu Qian gave him courage, but both courage and persistence were based on the unconditional belief that he would never deceive himself.Where does the courage come from after the lie is exposed?

Maybe it was just his own solitary courage before, but now it is too difficult for him to imagine so much power by himself.Jing Yan pinched his palm and turned to leave.

He stumbled into the bathroom in the room, he wanted to cry, but he gradually developed a bad habit.

Turning on the hot water, the water flowed loudly, Jing Yan was finally able to cry freely.He has been enduring it all this time, never letting Lu Qian see his tears at any time, only covering his crying with water.

Jing Yan squatted on the ground with bare feet, hot water hit his back, he buried his head in his knees, in a state where he didn't dare to cry too loudly, he was afraid that Lu Qian would come back.He suddenly hated Lu Qian a little bit, hated why he didn't even give him a chance to cry out loud.

The cut vegetable cut was bleeding again at night, Jing Yan raised his head and stared at that piece.He gave birth to endless inferiority complex, is it because I am too ugly?I didn't get good grades, I didn't go to the same university as you, I didn't have equal social status with you.These can make a person no longer like another person, can't they?

Jing Yan ruthlessly tore at the scabbed cuts on his hands, and he tore off many wounds that were not big at first.He just felt that he was too ugly, and there was nothing he could do to match him.

His hands were so red and swollen that it hurt him to touch them.He leaned against the wall and let the water wash against the place where the blood drops oozed out. It turned out that loving someone can make him so crazy that he can't spare any energy to love himself.

There was the sound of the door opening outside, Jing Yan hugged his knees and shook, subconsciously took a towel to dry himself, hid under the quilt before Lu Qian entered the room, and closed the door for the first time.

He stayed up all night with his eyes open, without thinking about anything, he only counted the time and decided to wait until Lu Qian left before going out.At ten o'clock in the morning, he finally got up. In the mirror, his complexion was gray and his face was swollen.He didn't dare to look, washed hastily and opened the door.

The man who was supposed to go to work was still at home, sitting on the sofa with his back to him.Hearing the sound of the door opening, Lu Qian stood up and looked at him, Jing Yan was nailed to the ground by this gaze. "Lin Jingyan." He called him that.