[Comprehensive] Escape from shame is useless

Long, long ago, in the forest of a small border country, there lived an elf who was good at playing the piano.One day, in an accident, an animal listening to her playing the piano died.The elf was very sad, because from that day on, all the animals in the forest dared not listen to her playing the harp again.Without an audience, her violin and life are meaningless.

When the elf was dying, her friend appeared, a prince from the human kingdom.In order to save her, the prince vowed to become her knight, and would always listen to her playing the piano and accompany her forever.

The elf survived.

——This is the beginning of the picture book story his mother drew for him.

"You made a huge mistake, Seijuro. At that time, you shouldn't have made a promise. It wasn't the best choice for her, or for you. You were too young to Understand the weight of responsibility."

After knowing the agreement between him and her, his father said this sentence to him.

This is a mistake.

For people who have suffered great physical and mental trauma, the first thing that must never be done is to give the other party a promise that cannot be fulfilled.

For example, people who lost their relatives in the face of the earthquake, comforted him that his relatives will be fine and will come back.Then when his relatives are confirmed dead, his spirit will suffer an irreversible collapse, and he will slide into a more dangerous abyss than the previous loss of soul.Well-intentioned comfort may not necessarily bring good results.

Rather than giving him false hope, prepare him for the worst from the start.When people encounter desperation, they will have the courage to step out.

So, what would happen if it were compared to Jasmine?

Let her completely accept the fact that her music will cause other people's misfortune, and then when she really can't live because of losing her violin, she will have a raw desire, and finally embark on the road of living without music?

This is not a future he can accept.

This is definitely not the future that Jasmine also wants.

She was the first one he met, and she was an existence that he could not catch up with no matter how hard he tried to catch up.

Perhaps it is difficult for others to understand this feeling, but for him, it was an unforgettable encounter.

Some people may think, how can children have such deep feelings, no matter how precocious they are.That's right, he had never thought about such a complicated proposition before.Until the curtain of tragedy abruptly separated her world, at that moment——

He felt the cruelty of fate, piercing and desperate.

It's like she hugged her knees and huddled in the corner of the wall. When she raised her head to look at him, her eyes were empty to the starlight that was about to die.

This is not the color that should belong to her.

She should be bright and romantic, sometimes soothing, sometimes high, like spring breeze, like summer rain.

When you think she is like a sticky cake, so sweet that you want to stay away from her, you turn around and see her standing alone on the top of the high stage, as if stepping on the whole world under her feet.When you feel that she is out of reach and so dazzling that you can only look up, she will quietly hide behind you and jump out suddenly when you turn around to scare you.

That was Jasmine, whom only he knew, the one who could play tricks, the one who was mischievous.He jumped so far that he would take advantage of Mr. Kazama's nap to cut his eyebrows because of a bet, and dared to sprinkle mustard powder in his unsmiling father's afternoon tea just because he was scolded by his father for coming home late once in a while.

He didn't want her to die with her qin like this.

Instead of facing such a future, it is better to make mistakes together.

Kuroki Jasmine is also a violinist who belongs only to Akashi Seijuro.

For her, this sentence means that his existence is the reason for her to continue studying music.Because losing the music is equivalent to losing the soul, this sentence also means that his existence is equivalent to the meaning of her living.For a PTSD patient like her, the promises made to her when she was most vulnerable will become an inseparable bondage in her life.

So what?

Isn't it just to be her listener (support) all the time?What's the problem?

He is confident that no matter whether it is her or her piano sound, he will never get tired of it.

Wouldn't that work?

"Whether your promise can be fulfilled or not is not judged by you, but by her. A lifetime is still a long time. Once her relationship deteriorates, you will face a dilemma with no correct answer."

The picture book also has this follow-up:

As time goes by, the elf's gratitude to the prince slowly settles, and finally turns into love.But the prince already has a fiancée with deep affection - a kind-hearted princess from another country.The pure elves couldn't destroy their relationship, and they couldn't even express it. They could only watch the prince and princess get married and live happily together.

The oath remains the same, but the interpretation has already deteriorated.

In the end, the elf failed to survive the night of their wedding, and with his blessings to the prince, he died beside his favorite pond holding the piano.

——I hope you can have a different ending.

By Shiori.

On the night when she fell ill in Kyoto, her father's long-lost past was brought up again.

Many years later, he is different from before, but no matter what, his answer is the same as before:

"We're not going to get there."

He wouldn't let Jasmine die with her music, so all the while, he kept a cautious distance.

If she wanted to survive, she couldn't let him be her only one.

But because of this commitment, the distance between them is dangerous.The original pure appreciation and recognition, the friendship between friends has been distorted, and it has become the current relationship of dependence and being dependent.

Compared with love, it is tasteless and inconspicuous, without thrilling or worrying.But it must always exist, when she needs it, when she thinks about it, she can reach it with her hand.Just like water is to fish, sunlight is to vegetation.

It was he who made the promise out of selfishness back then, but now, in order to prevent her from dying because of it, he has to tear this layer of fetters with his own hands.He himself was once again a mere listener, a devoted friend.Accompanied by her relatives, friends and lovers, Jasmine broke free from the whirlpool of pain and stepped onto the stage again.

This is the perfect ending.

No one has anything to lose and everyone gets a happy ending.

This is all that Akashi Seijuro has worked hard for for so many years.

So when he learned of that strange god's blessing, he was probably lucky.The god is worthy of being a god, and she is very clear about what she needs most at this stage.

It is fate.

Whether it's kinship or love, what she needs is a constant connection with this world.

All she needs is everything except him.

However, knowing that there should be no interference, and knowing what is more important, he still tried his best to cut off other people's pursuit of her.The reason is that the character is not suitable, the emotion is not pure, the motive is not pure, her safety is the reason, etc., in short, he found all the excuses that can convince himself to do this.

Even after temporarily transferring this halo to Ueno Airi, he was actually relieved.

He said a thousand words and ten thousand, but he didn't want to let go.

With ten years of companionship, she has long been used to sharing everything in life with him and telling him every secret in her heart.Similarly, he has long been used to making all kinds of decisions for her, holding her hand when she looks at him, and shielding her from the wind and rain.

He liked Jasmine's rejection of others because of him, her helpless expression when she had to meet his request despite being extremely distressed, and her defenseless appearance towards him.

Suppressing one's desire is a very uncomfortable thing. Before he knows it, he always indulges in the pleasure of her changing because of himself, forgetting his original intention.

"Jasmine too, I want to see."

By the time he came back rationally, it was already too late.

Jasmine's hands that were holding onto the quilt were tightened and then loosened in an instant, and her green eyes were flustered for a moment, but in the end they firmly reflected his shadow.

"……it is good."

This meant that the word of permission seemed to open some strange lock, and the clear boundary line that Akashi had been tense was suddenly blurred.At this moment, reason was overwhelmed by the ocean of desire, and thoughts that shouldn't have flashed one after another in my mind.

After all, as long as he thinks, no matter what kind of request, she will never refuse him.

Thoughts that shouldn't have come together, couldn't be suppressed any more, and instantly swept through his mind like a prairie fire.All pros and cons, gains and losses, goals, needs, all disappeared, only this idea kept swiping the screen with incomparable clarity.

Want her, want her whole body and even soul belong to him alone.

"Jasmine too." They were so close, so close that as long as he stretched out his hand, he could embrace her again.

"Huh?" She tilted her head habitually, as if actively rubbing his palm.

"mine--"

A burst of music sounded suddenly.

When Akashi was awakened, the two were almost nose-to-nose, his right hand was holding Jasmine's side face, and his left hand lifted up her skirt, almost touching the base of her thigh.

He quickly withdrew his hand almost in embarrassment, picked up the phone from the bedside table, his face was calm, but his heart was turbulent.

What are you doing, and what do you want to continue doing?

What about his proud willpower?

"Akashi, Akashi, are you listening?"

"Well, I'm listening, what's the matter?"

The caller was Midorima, who seemed worried because he had left school without warning and hadn't shown up all afternoon.

While he was talking on the phone, Jasmine seemed to finally realize that there was a very, very big problem with the posture of the two of them, and she quickly retracted to the inner side of the bed, embarrassingly buried herself in the quilt, curled up a ball.

While talking on the phone, Akashi watched the whole process of her from bewilderment to shock to despair and finally lifeless.Jasmine is also really cute every moment, I feel that even if I watch it all day, I will never get tired of it.

"Is Kuroki-san feeling better now?" Hearing Akashi explain the ins and outs, the other end of the phone asked naturally.

And it was this question that made his brain, which was almost dominated by selfish desires, cool down again.

This is not going to work, he needs to calm down.

"Well, the fever has subsided, and it will be fine after a day or two of rest."

In the middle of the phone call, Yuno came back with a watermelon that Jasmine also liked.

Hearing the sound of the door opening, Akashi looked down at his watch and said to Midorima: "There is still time, I'll go back now, you wait for me in the department. Well, it will be soon. Okay, see you later."

Hearing that he was going to leave, Jasmine didn't care about the question of whether she was embarrassed or not. She lifted the quilt and sat up and asked, "Do you want to go?"

"Well, there is something urgent in the department that I need to go back to deal with." Akashi put on his tie, straightened the cuffs of his shirt, and finally put on his school uniform jacket. He turned to her and said, "My wife has already returned, so I'll go first."

"Uh, wait—"

His sudden agitated attitude was quite different from just now, and Jasmine also hurriedly put on her slippers and chased him out. She wanted to say too much but didn't know where to start, so she could only follow him to the gate.

"Are you leaving, don't you want to eat some watermelon?" Yuno didn't expect that Akashi would leave as soon as she came back, although she didn't care a hundred times.

"No, there is something in the department."

When he finished putting on his shoes and was about to open the door, Akashi turned around and said to Jasmine, "Go back to the house, the wind is strong by the door, you will catch a cold."

"You are leaving, why do you care what I do?" Come and leave as soon as you say, without considering her mood at all.

It seems to be complaining, but it is actually acting like a baby.Even if she doesn't have a fever now, Jasmine is still a little clingier in her sick state than usual.

Akashi found that his willpower was not in a good state today, and when she acted like a baby, he began to waver.After working hard for a long time, I finally couldn't bear it and just left.

It really can't go on like this... In front of her, his resistance is really getting weaker day by day.In that case, it might be a good thing for her to transfer schools this semester.

"sorry, I--"

"Didn't you say you won't apologize?"

"?"

"It just occurred to me that you just said that no matter what happens in the future, you won't apologize." His habit of flaunting his toughness and talking harshly hasn't changed at all. Thinking about it, he's really childish.Now it is the same, I find that the eyes are full of annoyance since the slap in the face, and he still pretends to be indifferent on the face, it is really silly and cute.

"Forget it, who makes you always so clumsy, what can I do, I can only forgive you."

Yuno: Pfft.

Akashi:  …

Seeing him deflated, Jasmine finally calmed down.

"Hmph, but forgiveness doesn't mean you won't be angry! Who told you to leave as soon as you say, go to Kyoto if you say so!" She made a super childish grimace, "Idiot, love!" She waited for this opportunity It's been a long time, and it's not easy to hold back for half a month before spraying him.

Akashi looked at her for a while without changing his expression, then asked, "Then what do you want?"

Although he wanted to regain his usual majesty, no matter how hard he tried, the helplessness in his words was still very obvious.

But Jasmine didn't hear it, and she choked up as she was concentrating on the content of his words.

Ask her what she wants to do, what can she do?She is also very desperate!

In order to take care of her, Zheng Jun spent the whole afternoon with her during the school day, and now the ministry needs him, can she stop him?cannot.

Luoshan in Kyoto is a strong basketball school, and the deviation value is so high. What's more, if he is far away from home, he doesn't have to go home every day to have a cold war with Uncle Zhengchen.Can she say against her conscience not to go?cannot.

She doesn't have a fever now, and her brain is still functioning normally, so it's impossible for her to say something that doesn't care about reality like a dazed state.

After staring at him with a blank mind for a few seconds, Jasmine ran to the kitchen resignedly, took a can of calcium-enriched strawberry milk for children that she drank every day from the refrigerator, and stuffed it into his hand. He opened his head and said angrily:

"Okay, you can go!"

Looking at the conspicuous slogan "Drink milk, grow taller" on the outer packaging of the milk, if it wasn't for the fact that Jasmine, the little dwarf of ten thousand years, gave him the milk, Akashi felt that the malice would overflow.Obviously, Yuno, who was watching the play, thought so, seeing her laughing so unpretentiously that she almost beat the table.

But just because Jasmine also took it, Akashi not only didn't get angry, but felt that she was so cute that he couldn't suppress the smile on the corner of his mouth.

"Thank you, I'll finish the drink." He raised his hand to brush the broken hair on her forehead behind her ear and hang it up. After dropping his arm, he gently wrapped it around her waist, and when Jasmine also raised her head with strength Then she kissed lightly on the cheek.

After doing this natural movement, his expression froze for a moment.Akashi, who was about to despair of his willpower, felt that he really couldn't stay any longer, so he quickly opened the door, turned around and left.

"Then I'm leaving, and I'll see you next time."

This series of actions is probably best described as fleeing from the desert.It's a pity that the other two people in the room were startled by his sudden action, and no one noticed his abnormality.

After Akashi had left for quite a while, Jasmine, who was struck by lightning in the porch, turned around, touched the place where she was kissed just now with a horrified expression, and asked for help, "Yuno, why did Masamune suddenly start?" Are you using Western etiquette?"

Yuno, who was also struck by lightning, perfectly controlled his expression, and explained with a light smile, "Probably because there is a very popular American drama recently, he was influenced unconsciously."

"That's it, it scared me."

Jasmine was also relieved, and gnawed on the watermelon with a happy face.

Yuno is not as big-hearted as she is, and she can clearly see the changes in Akashi from time to time.

That guy seems to be unable to stand it anymore.

Forget it, shouldn't it be difficult for him to hold on for so long?

What a pity.

The author has something to say: Pu Chi: My will is as firm as iron.

Jasmine also: 00?

Puchi: ...just give me a hug, just give me a hug.

I Chi: Hehe.

Yuno: How pitiful.Ha ha ha ha……

Author: I still made him handsome for half a chapter, um =3=