【Double Black】As You Like It

To be honest, Osamu Dazai and him can be regarded as half childhood sweethearts, so they know all about the big things between each other. If the dark history of the two is compared, it can be described as a treasure. An exaggeration is to say that there will be no repetitions for three days and three nights in a row.

So in this case, they know that their relationship with each other is a type of constant cutting and chaos, and even if they want to cut it, they have nowhere to start.

To say how much Nakahara Chuya fell in love with Osamu Dazai, there is no need for any reason.Because the two of them are not the kind of people who strip their good sides to each other. Instead, they have witnessed the worst, most disgusting and unacceptable aspects of both parties getting along again.

He's okay, he doesn't have any messy habits, at most he's 'inhuman', which is quite special.But Osamu Dazai is different, suicide, self-mutilation, bad personality, emotional disorder, brain disease, and even likes to mingle with women, and never hides it at all when he is black.Nakahara saw everything about the other party clearly. He didn't know why Osamu Dazai always tried his best to show himself to be so annoying. Nakahara also asked the other party such a question, because this person If you want others to like him, it is also very simple. After all, he is the type who once said that he doesn't care about liking, because he can always turn the other party into his favorite hobby.

At that time, Zhong Yuanzhong also disliked such words. He didn't understand the significance of doing so. Anyway, if he made a big change, he would not be the original person.But Osamu Dazai didn't feel it, the other party approached him and stretched out a finger and said, that's because Chuuya is too stupid, he must make such an excuse if he can't do this.

——Obviously you are too vicious, since choosing what someone likes is the uniqueness of the other person, if you transform it into what you like as you said, what is the difference from mass-produced things?

——Well...that makes sense.

——Wait, the topic changed, you haven't answered my previous question yet?

When they were talking about this topic, they were on the roof of the Hong Kong and Hei dormitory building. Because he himself was the reason for the gravity ability, he stepped directly on the guardrail, sitting on the rusty and disrepaired railing, dangling his legs and eating barbecue.And Osamu Dazai leaned against him in a black windbreaker, facing a different direction from him.

The other party said, if I push you, you will fall.And he put the green pepper on the bamboo stick in his mouth and looked back at the other party, raised his eyebrows and said vaguely while chewing the food, if you can push me down, you have the ability, anyway, I don’t Will fall to death.

So Osamu Dazai jumped on the guardrail in the next second, making the whole guardrail tremble as if it was about to break, and a lot of rust fell down along with it. Looking down, it was a height that made one's scalp tingle, and there was a lot of traffic downstairs. The whistle sounded in the street. If you fell, you would definitely have your brains burst and you would die completely.

But Osamu Dazai staggered on the thin railing and stood up. Nakahara, who was sitting on it, also looked up at the other party. The wind on the upper floors never stopped, blowing the coat on the other party's shoulders. Fluttering behind.

The shadow of Osamu Dazai fell, covering Chuya Nakahara's whole body inside. He just looked up and saw Osamu Dazai smiling at him with only one eye exposed.

And this person seems to love to smile at him.

The man said, Chuya, will you save me if I jump off?

He said, Chuya, if you saved me, I might hate you.

He said, Chuya, if you don’t save me in time, I will die, and you will suffer forever.

He was a little annoyed, so while eating Flammulina velutipes, he said angrily that I will not let you die, calm down, even if you jump now, I will catch you.

After hearing this, Dazai Osamu laughed, stood on the railing that was swinging and was about to fall, and bent down to get closer to him. Nakahara was never afraid of heights, even now both of them looked like they were about to fall and be smashed to pieces. He still didn't respond, he just raised his head and looked at the other party with clear eyes.

The man's sleeves were blown to his side by the wind, and the large windbreaker seemed to be able to wrap him completely.The man who bent down lowered his head and bit the skewer in his hand, and the enoki mushrooms that were bitten off by Zhongyuan Zhongye all went into each other's stomachs, and their noses touched each other, and they could smell each other's bodies that unique taste.Osamu Dazai covered his mouth and hopped on the railing for a second, yelling "I want water, I want water", while sticking out his tongue and accusing him of being a murderer for putting so much chili.

When the railing was stepped on and rattled, it always felt like it was going to break. Zhong Yuanzhong also panicked. Although he was sure that he could catch someone, he always had an instinctive reaction when facing danger. He stretched out his hand and grabbed it. The corner of the other party's clothes brought him down, making Osamu Dazai have to squat down to face him, then he held the man's arm in his palm and shouted angrily, are you fucking dead?

The person who was so hot that his face was flushed had no sense of what he was doing that was dangerous. Instead, he used Chuya Nakahara's words to prevaricate him.What are you talking about? You are so sure that you will not let me die, so I am unscrupulous.After finishing speaking, he opened his mouth and pointed to his tongue and said, so, it's all your fault.

He slapped Osamu Dazai on the head, cursing and saying that I shouldn't control you with a stick and control you to death!

But Osamu Dazai disagreed, he squatted down and sat on the railing like Nakahara Nakaya, except that Nakahara Nakahara was facing the direction outside the building, while the other party was facing the direction of the roof.

The man dawdled to his side and leaned on his shoulder, saying aggrievedly that I would only eat non-spicy ones with cumin in the future.But Zhong Yuanzhong, who was eating vigorously with the barbecue, didn't care. He said that I bought it for myself, who asked you to come over to eat it, so you can buy it yourself, can't you?As a result, Osamu Dazai yelled no more.

——If you mess around again, I will really throw you down!

——You lost it!Anyway, the ending is either you catch me or after I die, you will feel uneasy and live in my shadow for the rest of your life.

--Depend on!I will not!If you die, I will hold a celebration party with a banner in Hong Kong and Heilongjiang!

——Really, then you throw it away, I'll wait.

Osamu Dazai leaned on his shoulder and smiled, laughing that he didn't have the guts to really throw him down, and Nakahara was so angry that he stuffed the roasted green peppers in his hand that had been sprinkled with chili powder into the other's mouth, and then looked at the man Lie on his lap coughing desperately, looking like I'm going to die, I'm going to heaven.

——Tell you to be with me here, do you know it’s wrong?

——You really are!You want to kill me, Chuya!

——Yes, I wish I could tear you to pieces.Come on, get up, let's go down.

The wind blew Dazai Osamu's broken hair into his neck, which was a little itchy, and even the other party's breath seemed to have the smell of fireworks in the barbecue. He tore him off the railing, and the two of them stepped on the ground, There was a whistling sound next to my ear, and the flying broken hair blocked my sight, and even the sound below the floor became faintly visible.

In fact, the question about the past is not without an answer, but it is always very ambiguous.

Osamu Dazai told him that if he wants others to like him, it's really easy, and it's not impossible even if he is determined.It's just that he really didn't think it was necessary, or that there was no one who would make him want to do it.

At this point he paused for a moment, and began to babble some nonsense again.

——It’s boring to be “liked” by others because of showing your good side. This kind of “like” is too cheap, and it is easy to feel cheated because you find out that there is a bad side after getting close, right?Even if it's not deceit but just not showing it, the other party will show a face of "how can you be such a person", which is always annoying.But from the very beginning, I said to the other party, 'Look, I am such a bad person. If you think about it, I may be even worse'.Those who have unrealistic fantasies will leave, and there is no need to waste time and energy on these people who will be disappointed by their own fantasies sooner or later. It can kill two birds with one stone.so--

Speaking of which, Osamu Dazai slumped on Nakahara Chuya's shoulder again, as if he had no bones, he put all his weight on him.

——Chuya, carry me back, I can't walk anymore.

--roll!I will never carry you back!Don't you have long legs? !

--I'm lazy.

——Forget about being lazy, be careful that I stuff the extra spicy mutton skewers in your mouth.

--Wow!Too much!It's really too much!Chuya, you are so annoying!

——Find out who is more annoying!Can you pretend to be a bit of a person? !Obviously, you can at least pretend to be a person in front of Miss Hongye and the leader, so be yourself, Dazai!

Osamu Dazai, in his teens, is a troublemaker, as much trouble as he wants, it's so annoying that it makes people gnash their teeth, and it's so annoying that Nakahara Nakaka wants to kick him downstairs.

He doesn't know why he still likes him even though he is so clear about how hopeless this person is. It's just that when he thinks about it occasionally, he thinks it's just like that, no matter how troublesome it is, there seems to be nothing. It can't be solved, so the so-called 'big trouble' is not so 'trouble' anymore.

When I was in contact with the Armed Detective Agency, I met Dazai Osamu's current partner, the supernatural person named Kunikida Doppo, who also seemed to have a headache.Although I haven't deliberately learned about it, in fact, Osamu Dazai, who went ashore to wash his hands and joined the Armed Detective Agency, is much easier to get along with than when he was in the port mafia.There is no black mud poured out at every turn, and there is no habit of falling ill when a word disagrees, and even jokingly joking one second before wanting to die and commit suicide.The whole person is much more cheerful than usual, and that is the appearance that Zhong Yuanzhong has never seen when the other party is with him.

Sometimes he thinks, this should be because he has found the person or mentality that he hopes others can 'like' him.It can't be said that he felt sad or a little jealous, even though he said that Dazai Ji was troublesome and annoying, but he never hoped that this person would really be alone for the rest of his life.

It doesn't matter if you find the reason to live, or you are urged to live well.No one knows why he hasn't died yet, but Nakahara Chu can indeed feel that Osamu Dazai has changed a little after he left Gang Hei.

But this change is not too big, perhaps in the eyes of outsiders, this person is too cheerful and too inconspicuous. It is really difficult to connect the smiling face with the person who used to be called the double black period. .

He didn't have the heart to talk to others about whether Dazai Osamu had changed or not, it didn't make any sense.

So, the original answer was just that Osamu Dazai didn't want others to be disappointed with his badness because of his goodness, so he simply showed all the badness. It doesn't matter how many people are left, but as long as they stay, they will be won't be leaving.

——Actually, I don’t have any outstanding features, but I have a lot of shameless ones.Chuya knew from the beginning, right?

——Yeah, I knew the virtues of you bastard from the very beginning, so you don’t need to confirm it with me. Even if you get drunk and put your head in the toilet one day, only Lao Tzu will fish you out.

——Chuya is the only one who will go crazy with alcohol.

——I shouldn't fucking care about you!Go away, let go!

Nakahara has known for a long time that some of Osamu Dazai's behaviors are just a barrier built because he was too lonely. The barrier is a screening method constructed with the opponent's brain that is different from ordinary people. There are not many people who can step in, and most of them are willing to stand outside the wall and watch quietly.

Nakahara also thought about it, he really thought about whether to step in and try it, but Dazai Osamu would build the wall higher and higher every time he had such thoughts, as if he was telling the truth with practical actions. He, all right, come here.

So he turned his head to look at Osamu Dazai lying on the sofa, his eyes widened in surprise, but the other party seemed to be amused by his reaction, and smiled and said to him that he was surprised?Surprised how I know.

But the first reaction of Zhongye in the Central Plains is to deny it.

Negate this sentence, deny this absurd guess, deny that he liked Dazai Osamu, and deny things that have never been proved.

However, Osamu Dazai's expression was too determined, or he was confident.One arm is propped on the side of the sofa, the way he is supporting his head, and the way he smiles at him with his lips raised. If it were another person, he would have been fascinated. As soon as the legs were dropped from his body, he raised his eyelids and said, you also feel too good about yourself, how could I like you.

However, the other party stretched out a finger to draw a circle in his direction, and while drawing the circle, he said with that very cheap expression, I know it all, oh Chuya, if there is really nothing, you must be the first one now Throwing me out for a while, or yelling something like 'what the hell are you doing so I can't possibly like you' is the right response.Instead of sitting on the sofa and calmly refuting this sentence with me.

Nakahara Nakahara made a quick decision and wanted to kick him down, but Osamu Dazai, who was as slippery as a loach, just pulled out the pillow from under his buttocks and smiled while hugging him. Don’t deny it, you liked me. Is it embarrassing?After speaking, he pinched the face of the bear's pillow and pulled it. Nakahara Chuya looked down. Dazai Osamu himself picked the ugly bear's pillow back then.

He was really angry, he couldn't tell if it was anger from embarrassment or something else.Because as Osamu Dazai said, his denial was not a clear conscience, so it seemed that no matter how he reacted, it was not so appropriate.The two just sat on the sofa and stared at each other. In the end, he was the one who felt upset and looked away with a click.

He didn't want to continue this topic, so he got up and went out to go upstairs, but Osamu Dazai was still relentless, and asked him why he didn't like it again.

They all stepped on the first step, with their palms resting on the handrail of their thumbs, Zhongyuan Zhong also stopped and looked back at this person.

Osamu Dazai lay on the back of the sofa chair and looked at him quietly, the dark eyes behind the light did not reveal even the red color this time, except black, it was black.

After thinking about it, there was indeed no need for unnecessary cover-ups between them.When he liked it at the beginning, he didn't plan to say it out because it was unnecessary, but when he was really found out, he didn't want to deny it too much, because there was no need.

So Zhongyuan Zhong also turned around and didn't intend to go upstairs anymore. He went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water, drinking while talking.

"Before you ask me this question, can you answer me a question first?"

"what is the problem?"

"From what I know about you, if you know, no, you should have just heard the saying 'Nakahara also liked Dazai Osamu', you would hug yourself and shiver in disgust, jumping and yelling that it's too scary If there is a river around, maybe I will jump directly." At this point, he took out the stirrer from the cup, tapped the rim of the porcelain cup lightly, and there was a crisp There was a sound, and the strong smell of coffee wafted out.

"And now you are just explaining this matter very calmly. Although I don't deny that I have had such feelings, your reaction is also very abnormal. But I really don't have any thoughts now, so I can use the usual mentality of the past Regarding you, if you feel that the psychological barrier is relatively serious, I can immediately call the leader and ask someone to pick you up. I don’t want to hear your thoughts, whether you like it or not is a thing of the past.”

After he finished speaking, he gritted his teeth and used the mixer to stir the cup until it sounded loudly. Although he said that he didn't care about it and suppressed his temper, he wanted to express a kind of meaning of "fuck you, I don't like you anymore", but no matter how I said it, I was still rejected. The Lord found out that this kind of displeasure was too forced even if he suppressed his anger, and now he even suppressed the roar that wanted to burst from his throat so he didn't throw Osamu Dazai out.

He actually wanted to ask, Osamu Dazai, what are you trying to do by breaking this matter, but this person seemed to know what he was going to ask, blinking his dark eyes and speaking in a slow tone.

"Because I want you to like me."

----

It should be obvious that Jae likes this side that only appeared in the memory, right?