My Feelings Can Wait

Zhong Qingyu finished the thesis at hand, turned off the computer and habitually searched for news about Ji Youyan, only to see several consecutive hot searches for Ji Youyan.

When she saw the entry "Ji Youyan was attacked by a naked man", her heart skipped a beat, and she clicked on it to see the video of Ji Youyan covering her face in the square, being supported by Jing Xiu and another woman to get into the car with difficulty, and her footsteps were flimsy. , Hands and feet become weak.

She immediately grabbed the mobile phone beside her and called Ji Yuyan, but luckily the call was connected during her prayer.

Ji Youyan repeatedly reassured her that it was nothing serious, but Zhong Qingyu heard her say that her head was broken and her bones were hurt, knowing that she always reported good news but not bad ones, she couldn't feel at ease, so she must come and see for herself.

No matter how much unhappiness I had on the phone before, the long-lost concern from my mother still made Ji Youyan feel hot.So even though she didn't think it was necessary, seeing Zhong Qingyu's insistence, she didn't shirk too much and agreed.

As soon as she hung up the phone, she saw Jing Xiu pushing the door and coming back.Jing Xiu looked tired, but looked at her with soft eyes.

"Do you feel okay?" Jing Xiu sat down beside Ji Youyan's bed, and his eyes fell on Ji Youyan's left arm fixed with a triangle scarf.

Ji Youyan saw her worry, moved the fingers of his left hand, and pretended to be relaxed: "Do you think it looks bad?"

Jing Xiu held her hand nervously, "Don't move."

Ji Youyan laughed softly, rubbing the back of Jingxiu's hand with her thumb while enduring the soreness, "It's okay, the doctor said that you can move around properly." She paused, diverted Jingxiu's attention and said, "Ah Xiu, my mother see It’s the news, I’m worried and I’m going to come and take a look. Just taking this opportunity, let me introduce you to them formally, okay?”

During this period of time, although there were still quarrels with Zhong Qingyu about the relationship, Ji Youyan felt that Zhong Qingyu's tone had loosened a lot.She felt that when Zhong Qingyu really saw Jing Xiu, he would be overwhelmed by Jing Xiu's outstanding charm.

However, Jing Xiu's reaction was different from what she expected.She frowned slightly, hesitated to speak, as if she was embarrassed.

Ji Yuyan thought she might be unwilling, so he quickly changed his words and said considerately: "It's okay, if you are not ready, Ah Xiu, we will wait for the next time. Speaking of which, you should focus on the performance these few days, and it is not appropriate to be distracted... ..."

Before she finished speaking, Jing Xiu interrupted her softly, "That's not the case."

She fixedly looked at Ji Yuyan, bit her lips and confessed: "Yanyan, I've seen them before." There was imperceptible anxiety in her eyes.

Ji Youyan was stunned.

Jing Xiu lowered his eyelids and said in a hoarse voice: "I'm sorry, I wrote to them without your consent or discussion. Two months ago, your father asked someone to tell me that he wanted to see me. I went. I made my own way."

She didn't want to tell Ji Yuyan about this, but now she has some doubts that she can't explain herself.Her rationality told her that she shouldn't let Ji Youyan bear the consequences of these problems backlogged as ignorantly as before.

"Don't apologize, I'm just surprised, and I don't mean to blame you at all." Ji Youyan came back to his senses, and stretched out his right hand to cover the catkin that Jing Xiu placed on the thin quilt.

She knew that Jing Xiu must have done this to help her gain the approval of her parents, so how could she be willing to blame her.

She is well aware of Jing Xiu's character, and even more aware of her parents' stubbornness.Reminiscent of Jing Xiu's embarrassment just now, she said urgently: "Ah Xiu, did my parents make you feel wronged? Did they say something nasty?"

Jing Xiu looked into Ji Youyan's distressed eyes, and thought of Ji Changsong and Zhong Qingyu's sarcastic remarks to her, sour nose welled up.

She said with difficulty: "They didn't say anything, they just didn't like us very much."

"Yanyan..." Jing Xiu hesitated, with an indelible gloom in his eyes, "They think I can't protect you, and I can't give you real happiness."

"I felt harsh at the time, and my rebuttals were plausible, but now I'm a little uncertain." She confided.

But such doubts that Ji Youyan might have to let go made her feel distressed as if she had been torn apart by something.Guilt and reluctance rubbed back and forth on her wound like a blunt knife.She tried to withdraw her hand from Ji Yuyan's hands and clenched her fist, restraining herself from being too gaffe.

Ji Yuyan tightly grasped the hand she wanted to escape, and tremblingly said: "Not sure what?"

The strong force coming from his hand is Ji Youyan's unquestionable uneasiness.There was another sharp pain in Jing Xiu's heart.

She forced herself to look directly at Ji Youyan, and said in a choked voice, "Yanyan, I'm not sure if I did something wrong."

"I want you to be brave, but after you're brave, I can't protect you. I'll just let you get hurt because of me over and over again." Her long eyelashes trembled, and tears rolled down her cheeks silently, "I really Is it your best choice?"

She turned her head and tried to wipe away her tears, as if she was asking Ji Yuyan, more like asking herself.

Is this question the best? She was asking herself before getting back together, and Ji Changsong lingered in her mind more often after questioning.She has been trying to believe in herself, until just now she could only watch Ji Yuyan fall in front of her eyes, and her psychological construction completely collapsed.

Jing Xiu's self-doubt pierced Ji Youyan's heart like a sharp arrow, making her eye sockets wet with pain for a moment.She couldn't bear to see Jing Xiu so fragile.She looked at Jing Xiu, and for a moment, she seemed to see herself back then.

She also asked herself this question the year she broke up with Jing Xiu.

She reluctantly sat up straight and approached Jing Xiu, Jing Xiu quickly stood up to help her, but Ji Yuyan raised his chin to kiss the tears in the corner of her eyes when she bent down.

It was so bitter that her heart was about to break.

"A Xiu, do you remember what you told me? I love you, and that is your greatest confidence." She stared at Jing Xiu's beautiful eyes that were close at hand.

Jing Xiu stared at her, her heart trembling.

Ji Youyan propped up her hands and moved her body to the left, and said tenderly, "Ah Xiu, sit up." She raised her hand and lightly hooked Jing Xiu's waist.

Jing Xiu couldn't stand steadily, fearing that Ji Yuyan would be crushed, so she sat on the bed according to her wishes, and sat in Ji Yuyan's arms.

Ji Youyan circled Jing Xiu's waist tightly, as if this could make up for the uneasiness in her heart.Her voice was faint and far away, as if it came from a memory, "Do you know why I agreed without any reason to keep you when you proposed to break up?"

Jing Xiu raised his heart, and looked sideways at Ji Youyan.

This knot has lingered in her heart for many years and it is difficult to let go.At first she thought Ji Yuyan didn't love her anymore and waited for her to break up, but later she thought Ji Yuyan was tired and didn't want to be together anymore.After all, love is one thing, and whether it is suitable for being together is another.

"Have you ever believed the reason why I was late?" Ji Youyan smiled wryly.

Jing Xiu pursed her lips, unable to deceive Ji Youyan.

That year, she fell from a high altitude, thinking that she was going to die, and vomited blood before she passed out and made the only phone call - to Ji Youyan.

It was Ji Yuyan's assistant who answered, saying that Ji Yuyan was in the middle of filming and it was inconvenient to answer the phone.

She was so painful that she couldn't speak clearly, and she couldn't even say a complete sentence of "I miss you very much". It was Yao Xiao who couldn't see it and cried next to her to help her convey the news that she had an accident and asked Ji Youyan to come back soon.

Before she completely lost consciousness, Yao Xiao was still encouraging her, sister, don't sleep, sister, cheer up, sister Ji will be back soon, sister...

She listened.Although it hurts, she thinks she must wake up.She hasn't seen Yanyan for a long time.

But she tried her best to wake up, looked around, but still didn't see the person she most wanted to see.

The mother saw through her looking eyes and told her that Ji Yuyan lost her passport and the embassy was closed on weekends, so she was stranded in Italy.

What a coincidence.

It's like the coincidence that she has no time to date but can have time to have dinner with the rumored object; it's like the coincidence that she always has a job on the anniversary of her relationship;

This time, it was a coincidence that Ji Youyan arrived at the hospital safely and low-key after the media on the fifth day of shift was gradually controlled.

"You haven't believed it, have you?" Ji Youyan said in an affirmative tone.

Jing Xiu looked at the self-mockery on her face, her throat was choked and hurt. "I'm sorry, Yanyan, I'm sorry, I..."

Ji Yuyan leaned against her head and said judo: "I don't blame you, it's because I lied to you too much before, which made you lose trust in me."

"I really lost my passport. In other words, I didn't realize it until I had a quarrel with Wang Junchan. She must have lost my passport on purpose."

That year she was filming commercials in Italy, and her assistant received the news of Jing Xiu's accident at noon, but Wang Junchan suppressed the news, and did not tell her until the end of the shooting at night.

Like five thunderbolts, Ji Youyan shook his body and almost stepped on the air and rolled down the steps.At that time, it had been eight hours since the phone call from Jing Xiu.

She wanted to go back like crazy, and Wang Junchan said that she had booked a plane for her in two and a half hours.She dialed Jing Xiu's phone with trembling hands, and the call got through, and it was Jiang Chun who answered.

Jiang Chun said that Jing Xiu was undergoing surgery and the condition was not very good, and asked where she was.She was heartbroken, panicked, anxious and powerless, and answered Jiang Chun in tears that she was still on her way to the airport.Jiang Chun was silent for several seconds before telling her the address of the hospital again.

Ji Youyan heard Jiang Chun's silent dissatisfaction and doubts from Jiang Chun's silence.As the first person to know, after eight hours, she is still on her way to the airport.How ridiculous.

She also felt ridiculous.She blamed Wang Junchan for not telling her with red eyes, but Wang Junchan also had plausible arguments.She asked Ji Youyan that he knew what he was going to do at that time, did he leave the commercial that was half filmed?What about liquidated damages?What to do next?What should I do next?Besides, she also checked the air ticket for the first time, and found that the flight was switched and switched, and the final arrival time was within three or two hours, so she made this decision after weighing it over and over again.

What should I do next?Without Jingxiu, what is the future.She yelled at Wang Junchan.

Seeing her collapsed, Wang Junchan comforted her and apologized.

But when it was time to change the boarding pass, the assistant told her that the passport was lost.

Ji Youyan's sky was completely dark.She ran around the airport like a lunatic, throwing away all decency, begging Wang Junchan, the ground staff, the police, and the embassy's security...

But it's the weekend, the embassy is not working, and the visa cannot be replenished.Wang Junchan said there was no way.

On Sunday, they finally asked someone to find the embassy to open an emergency channel, and specially dealt with her visa, allowing her to board the return journey back to China.

During the waiting period, every minute and every second was suffering, and the pain was too painful.

She finally arrived at the hospital where Jing Xiu was without ghosts or ghosts, and was stopped by Jing Shurong on the way to the ward.

Jing Shurong said that he wanted to talk to her.

Jing Shurong bluntly stated that she and Jing Xiu were not suitable, and hoped that she could seriously consider this relationship with Jing Xiu again.

She said that Jing Xiu hadn't been happy for a long time. The family psychologist made an assessment and said that Jing Xiu's mental health was very bad, and she should consider receiving psychological intervention.Jing Shurong is very sure that the cause of Jing Xiu's heart disease is the unbalanced relationship between her and Ji Youyan - Jing Xiu loves too deeply and has no self, and Ji Youyan loves too shallow and too self.

She asked Ji Youyan, if being together is so unhappy, is there any need to forcefully continue and torture each other?

Ji Youyan didn't sleep well for several days and nights without closing his eyes, and made it to the hospital entirely by will.She was so dizzy that she couldn't think, and she was thinking in a daze, why didn't she love Jing Xiu enough?Is it wrong for her to want to be better?Why do they just look at themselves with colored eyes?

She was very unconvinced and unwilling.She didn't want to let go of Jing Xiu and didn't want to lose her.

But she pushed open the door of the ward and saw Jing Xiu, who was dying and weak on the hospital bed, the string stretched to the limit in her mind broke.She could no longer lie to herself.Self-blame, distressed, and self-rejection flooded her heart.

It was she who tortured this radiant and dazzling girl into such a state.

It was she who was incompetent and trashy, humble as an ant but unwilling to be mediocre and hurt Jing Xiu.

She is not good enough for Jingxiu.

The author has something to say: In fact, it is still sweet.Sincere face.jpg