My Feelings Can Wait

Ji Youyan and Jing Xiu arrived in Lingzhou in the early morning. When they returned to the hotel, Ji Youyan was drowsy and fell asleep as soon as he touched the bed.But within a few hours, before dawn, she struggled to wake up.

Ji Yuyan had another nightmare.

She dreamed of many people, of her parents, of her former manager, of Wang Junchan, of Jing Xiu's mother, and of many people who couldn't see their faces clearly while holding up support lights... She dreamed that she was standing on a high snow mountain, and in an instant, the snow mountain turned into an abyss again, and she fell into the endless darkness in fear.

The north wind is blowing outside the window, and through the drawn window screen, one can vaguely see the darkness and chill between the sky and the earth.

This is the depression she is familiar with.For a while, Ji Youyan couldn't tell whether it was in the past life or the present life.

She wiped the cold sweat off her forehead, touched the cell phone next to her pillow, checked the time, and felt a little relieved.She sat up with support, opened the phone calendar, and confirmed the time again.

The calendar has reminders of important days that she made earlier.

Ji Youyan opened the drawer, and there was a beautifully packaged box in the drawer.By the way, she is still living in rebirth.

A gentle smile appeared on the corner of her lips, she breathed a sigh of relief, and got out of bed to wash.

After washing, Ji Youyan changed his clothes and went out, stepping on the silence of the building, going to the practice room on the fourth floor, and practicing guitar in his lounge for a while.

To her surprise, she opened the door of her lounge, and when she was about to walk in, she vaguely heard the voices of people talking in the last few exercise rooms in the corridor.

Ji Youyan applauded in his heart, and guessed that there might be hardworking students who got up early to do morning classes.

She turned around and walked towards the source of the sound. Sure enough, she was at the door of the penultimate practice room. Through the window on the door, she saw two girls who were practicing breathing.One of them is more familiar, the student she leads - Gu Zinan of A-level, and the other is led by Liang Zhen, Zhong Jiajia of C-level.

Ji Youyan looked at it for a few seconds, and was about to knock on the door and enter, to encourage and praise them, when the situation inside changed suddenly.

Zhong Jiajia leaned into Gu Zinan's ear and said a few words, Gu Zinan suddenly smiled and pressed his forehead to Zhong Jiajia's forehead, then lifted Zhong Jiajia's chin...

The two kissed passionately.

Ji Yuyan's raised hand froze, and swallowed in astonishment.

It was obvious that she was not the one who did the bad thing, but she squatted down in a panic.She tiptoed around, not even daring to take the elevator, and walked up the stairs back to her room.

As she walked, she recalled the scene she had just seen.It's a little funny when she calms down, what is she running, she was smashed, it shouldn't be her who is embarrassed.These two kids are also very bold.

But Ji Youyan complained, and gradually felt some nostalgia and envy.

These daring things, she and Jing Xiu, at their age, were not impulsive when they participated in the competition.

Is the person getting old, or the heart getting old?

I can't practice the guitar.Ji Youyan returned to the living room, connected the earphones, and sat on the sofa to repeat the single, familiar with the melody.Inadvertently, her attention was attracted by the prickly pear on the coffee table.

I don't know when, the cactus changed to a flower pot, and a breathable glass cover was chicly covered on the pot.This is the basin that pricked her hand last time, right?

Ji Youyan was wondering, when her phone vibrated, it was Wei Yizhen's text message to her: "Call me back when you wake up."

She paused the song, called Wei Yizhen back, and said softly, "Sister Wei, it's so early."

Wei Yizhen complained sleepily: "It's early, I haven't slept well this week."

"I watched it early in the morning, and you really guessed it. Jiang Chun really didn't continue to suppress the news about you and Jing Xiu yesterday. It seems that Jing Xiu is willing to help you. Now we just need to continue to interact friendly , Let the marketing account warm up from time to time, and once in a while, when there is a hot topic, the fire can be just right."

"Fans believe you are friendship, passers-by suspect you are love, we don't make any response, just leave room for them to imagine and discuss."

"Yeah." Ji Youyan hugged the potted prickly pear on his knees, and agreed while looking at it.

"When you win Gu Lingfeng's movie and the promotion starts, if you suspect that you are really smart passers-by, some of you will turn into thinking that your scandals during this period are just a warm-up for the movie promotion. After the movie is over, you and Jing Xiu will reduce the interaction, and the scandal between you can completely turn into a promotional scandal, and it will be self-defeating." Wei Yizhen has already thought up a whole set of publicity plans.

Ji Youyan's thoughts were different from hers, so he just perfunctorily said to Wei Yizhen, "Let's talk about it when the time comes."

"Sister Wei, then help me keep an eye on Gu Lingfeng's news first. When he releases the news of casting, Sister Wei, you can find a way to help me lobby for an audition opportunity."

Wei Yizhen calmly said: "I see." After a pause, she asked tentatively: "Actually, You Yan. Since Jing Xiu is willing to help you, if she is willing to recommend you in front of Gu Lingfeng, it's not a matter of Are you more sure?"

This pot is right.Ji Youyan put his palm on the glass cover of the prickly pear, the glass cover was flat, and the thorns of the prickly pear could no longer pierce her hand.

Except for Jing Xiu, she can't think of anyone else with this kind of heart.

Ji Youyan's eyes softened, and he returned to Wei Yizhen and said: "Whether Jing Xiu is willing or not, and whether we should or not are two different things. Originally, it was already very embarrassing for us to tie her up for hype. How can you make an inch because she doesn't care about it?"

If she didn't really want to take advantage of the scandal with Jing Xiu and have more opportunities to interact with Jing Xiu in an aboveboard and friendly manner, she would not be able to use such a cheeky scheme to calculate Jing Xiu.If she asks Jing Xiu for a recommendation, then she is really shameless, answering the "vampire" that Jing Xiu's fans scolded her in Midnight Dream.

Thinking of the dream in the morning, Ji Youyan felt a little depressed again.But she hugged the prickly pear in her arms tightly, comforting herself, it's all over, and those are not important anymore.

Today is the rehearsal before the recording of the third session. It went smoothly all morning, but at noon, something happened suddenly.

Zhang Wei also retired.

She became Sun Ting's scapegoat, and publicly sent an apology statement to Jing Xiu, admitting that it was because Jing Xiu's dedication and strictness made her lax and resentful, so she did something irrational.She felt deeply guilty for the loss of reputation caused by Jing Xiu, and felt ashamed to face Jing Xiu and the audience again, so she voluntarily withdrew from the competition, and since then, quit the entertainment industry.

This was something that Jing Xiu expected, Sun Ting was not stupid, he knew that he had to give her an explanation publicly.However, Zhang Wei also retired, so there was a problem.

After the first episode of the program was broadcast, Ruan Ningwei's acting skills really aroused heated discussions among the audience, but more audiences were not as strict as Jing Xiu, and thought that she could not hide her flaws.Therefore, after the first round of voting ended, Ruan Ningwei had already been promoted to Grade A.

Ruan Ningwei chose Zhang Weiye as her partner with the intention of not dragging down innocent players like Lu Min and eliminating harm for the people.Now that Zhang Wei has also retired, Ruan Ningwei has lost her co-star.

Time was running out, and it was too late to recall the eliminated contestants for a replacement; no one was willing to ask other contestants to give up the repertoire that they had painstakingly modified and rehearsed, and to cooperate with Ruan Ningwei to rehearse the play.What's more, Ruan Ningwei's scumbag acting in the second phase is really scary.

The director group discussed for a whole noon, then contacted the flight instructor Chi Dongqing, and finally decided to let Ruan Ningwei play a one-man show.Chen Desheng held a mentor meeting and asked Jing Xiu and Ji Youyan for their opinions.

Chen Desheng said: "There is no other way now. I discussed with the screenwriter and planner, and decided to let Ruan Ningwei continue to perform her and Zhang Weiye's repertoire alone, but I may need the assistance of Mr. Jing or Mr. Ji."

When everyone has a rival show, it is relatively unfair to let a contestant perform a one-man show that is not a one-man show.

After all, it's too easy to let the audience play.

So as a compensation, Chen Desheng suggested: "Let the flight instructor Chi Dongqing, who arrived in the evening, be the voice actor, and use the voice to perform in a friendly manner. Do you think it's okay?"

In this way, to a certain extent, it made up for the unfairness of letting Ruan Ningwei act alone, and innovated the format of the program, adding a new bright topic to the program.

For other actors, this must be an opportunity with both opportunities and challenges.The good thing is that the attention is because Chi Dongqing is naturally higher than the other players. The bad thing is that if the performance is not good, it will be magnified and blamed by more people.

But this is definitely an extremely beneficial form for Ruan Ningwei, who has no way to play with others.

Jing Xiu understood Ruan Ningwei's situation, she frowned, and was considering whether to communicate with Chen Desheng in this way, would it cause unfairness to other players.

Ji Youyan said one step ahead of her: "I think this is the best solution at present."

No one was playing favoritism, but the opportunity fell on Ruan Ningwei, and Ruan Ningwei was able to grasp it.Ji Youyan felt that this was not unfair.

Chen Desheng asked Jing Xiu: "What does Teacher Jing think?"

Jing Xiu turned his head to look at Ji Youyan, and saw the vague expectation in her eyes.

Jing Xiu pursed his lips, compromised: "I have no objection."

Both of them said it was okay, and Liang Zhen and Su Lihang naturally had nothing to disagree with, and they both agreed.

Therefore, Chen Desheng asked Ji Youyan if it would be convenient for him to replace Chi Dongqing who was not there in the afternoon and cooperate with Ruan Ningwei in rehearsing?

Ji Youyan naturally took over.

Ruan Ningwei's play this time is to play a young girl suffering from uremia, and Zhang Wei also originally played her mother.

Because of the soaring creatinine, the girl had to be readmitted to the hospital for dialysis three times a week.Years of seeking medical treatment have already dragged down this supposedly happy and ordinary family.

At noon, my mother came back from cooking and took the list of yesterday's expenses that the nurse had just sent to check.The girl rubbed her fingers together, bit her lip, and apprehensively looked at her mother's expression.

This is something mothers do every day.My mother would carefully calculate the expenses of the day in this way every day, for fear of being miscalculated.

The atmosphere in the ward was oppressive.

Finally, the mother lowered her voice and said worriedly: "Why did yesterday have more than 300 yuan more than the day before yesterday?"

The girl forced out a little smile, and explained, "Maybe it was two more bottles of water yesterday than the day before yesterday?"

The mother handed the meal to the girl, and said in a slightly awkward tone: "Let's eat, I'll ask later."

The girl took the rice and tried to pick out the vegetables from the food, but her mother scolded her impatiently, "What are you picking? Anyone who eats vegetables only eats the leaves."

"But it's so bitter." The girl replied cautiously with a smile.She obediently picked up all the vegetables.

"You're just too picky about eating. I used to indulge you too much, otherwise you wouldn't be like this now." Mother began to accuse her again.

From full of hope at the beginning to almost despair now, my mother's mentality is also on the verge of collapse.Recently, when she was in bed with her, her face was always sullen, and the girl had been silently enduring her low pressure.

"What does this have to do with picky eating?" The girl tried to calm her mother's sudden anger.

"It doesn't matter why, it's because you don't eat this or that, your physical fitness will deteriorate like this, and your condition will develop into what it is now. I tell you not to picky eaters, let you go to bed early, and let you..." No Knowing how, she hit her mother's point, and her emotions that had been pent up all the time suddenly exploded.

The girl clenched her fists, trying to suppress it.But in the end, under the angry nagging of her mother, she finally couldn't bear the suppressed emotions.

She clenched her chopsticks tightly, her voice trembling, and said with a sob: "That's enough, don't talk anymore. Don't you just dislike me for dragging you down?"

This sentence, every time she watched her mother frowning and counting the list of expenses, she kept lingering in her heart.

Finally asked out.

She looked at her mother stubbornly, wanting to be more aggressive, but her tears fell uncontrollably.

The mother looked at her in disbelief, the masseter muscles on both cheeks bulged, and the eye circles suddenly turned red.A few seconds later, she turned her face away, not looking at the girl, and said in a hoarse voice, "I won't talk anymore, you can eat."

Ruan Ningwei caught a glimpse of the tears falling down her mother's cheeks, and opened her mouth to say sorry.But she also felt grievances and unwillingness to bear it.

In the end, she just lowered her head to hold back the salty tears, and ate the rice with big mouthfuls.

No one spoke any more.

After lunch, the girl felt very uncomfortable and lay down to take a nap.In a daze, she woke up from the pain again.She wanted to ask her mother to pour her a glass of water. When she opened her eyes, she saw her mother hiding on the balcony and making a phone call.

From just a few words, she could hear that her mother was calling to borrow money again.She listened to her mother's humble tone, looked at the humble and embarrassed expression on her mother's face, and watched the north wind blowing her mother's hair, revealing the frosty white of her temples.

She heard her mother begging the other party time and time again: "I know, I know, I really have nothing to do, please help me..." She saw the veins on the back of her thin hand that was holding on to the railing gradually bulging.

Tears flooded my eyes.

Her mother is such a strong and decent person.

Ruan Ningwei bit her lip, her jaw moved violently, not daring to cry out.But the sound of sniffing was too loud, so she opened her mouth again, breathing in and out, causing the quilt to tremble with her crying.

Finally she couldn't lie down anymore, she lifted the quilt, got out of bed and trotted behind her mother, stretched out her arms and hugged her mother, choked up and said, "I'm dying, we're dying, mom, I'm dying."

She should have said it a long time ago, she clearly knew that this rotten life, if she continued, she would only be dying. It was her selfishness that did not dare to die, did not dare to wait for death.

The mother was hugged by her in a daze, her throat moved, she turned around, and looked at the tearful daughter, the tears also came out of her eyes.

She hugged her daughter back, and whispered in her daughter's ear one after another: "Cure, we must cure, we must cure, and we must cure it. We will wear beautiful clothes in the future, and we will take Mom and Dad to travel around. What about the world..."

In the practice room of the three of them, after Ruan Ningwei's performance, Jing Xiu's throat was astringent, and Ji Youyan's lines with the role of mother were already tears streaming down his face.

After 2 minutes of silence, everyone started to play. The two people who were still in tears looked at each other, and then looked at the expressionless Jing Xiu, feeling a little embarrassed.

Ji Yuyan wiped away his tears with a tissue, and commented with a rustling voice: "This state is very good. Except for the plot of the rivalry, if the script is performed with voice, the script may need to be strengthened. Others, I have no good comments Yes. What about you, Teacher Jing?"

She said this because, firstly, Ruan Ningwei's performance was really remarkable, and secondly, as a person who entered the show, it was difficult for her to make an objective and comprehensive review.

Jing Xiu stood up, took a pack of tissues from her handbag, walked up to Ruan Ningwei and handed it to Ruan Ningwei.

Ruan Ningwei smiled, and said with a bit of tears: "Thank you, Teacher Jing."

Jing Xiu said in a calm tone: "Ning Wei, I don't have anything to comment on this scene. You really did a remarkable job, and you handled emotions and details very well."

"You are acting in a one-man show. I am afraid that among the students, few people dare to say that they can act better than you."

Ji Youyan's heart was hanging, always feeling that there was something in Jing Xiu's words.

Sure enough, Jing Xiu walked back to his seat.She tapped the table twice with a pen, pointed at the vital point and said: "But I still say the same thing, this time you are lucky, and you have the opportunity to act without facing people in this way. What about next time? Whether it is This stage, or future work, how many times will there be opportunities like this? If your problem is not resolved, it will be useless if you can perform so movingly by yourself.”

Ruan Ningwei's eye circles were still red, and when she heard Jing Xiu's words, the smile on her lips disappeared instantly.

Ji Youyan noticed Ruan Ningwei's fragility, and quickly smoothed things over: "It's okay, let's give Ning Wei a little time, next time, Ning Wei will definitely improve next time, okay?"

"You can have the next chance, but others may not." Jing Xiu frowned, and said to the camera at the side: "Mr. Wang, can we not shoot this part for now?"

The cameramen looked at each other a few times, not daring to disobey Jing Xiu's intentions, and retreated out of shame.

Jing Xiu turned her head and said to Ruan Ningwei hard-heartedly: "Ning Wei, I know you are different from others. Even if your acting skills are not good, as long as Tao Xing is willing to praise you, you will definitely have scenes to shoot. However, those What about those actors who made bad movies with you and lost their reputation?"

"You can't do a double play, you can do a one-man show, and Teacher Ji will advise you, so maybe you can break through to the next promotion. What about the contestants who play with you? Can they only be your victims?"

"Can Lu Min be as lucky as you and advance to the next round?" Jing Xiu stared into Ruan Ningwei's eyes and asked.

She knew that Ruan Ningwei was kind, and that hurting others would make her feel guilty, so she deliberately provoked her and poked her sore spots.

Sure enough, Ruan Ningwei's delicate face lost all color, her eyelashes fluttered rapidly, trying to conceal her fragility.

She didn't have the courage to look at Jing Xiu again, bent down, bowed deeply, and apologized: "I'm sorry..." Like a piece of beautiful bamboo that was forcibly broken.

Jing Xiu choked his throat.

Ji Youyan's heart skipped a beat, feeling that Jing Xiu's words were too serious.

She quickly stood up to help Ruan Ningwei, and comforted her: "Ning Wei, don't say sorry, let alone tell us. Teacher Jing will say that, not to blame you. She just cherishes her talents and hopes that you can face your own mistakes. The crux, there will be better development in the future.”

"But the game is cruel, and life is also cruel. Each of us has limited capabilities, and we just do our best. There is nothing to be involved or not, and there is no guilt or guilt."

Ruan Ningwei didn't know if she listened or not, she raised her head, showed a smile that was more sad than crying, and replied: "I know, I will seriously consider Teacher Jing's words."

She sniffed and avoided, "Then I'll go out first."

After finishing speaking, before Ji Youyan and Jing Xiu could answer, he walked out quickly.

Ji Youyan stood on the spot and looked at Ruan Ningwei's staggering back, with worry in his eyes.

Jing Xiu frowned, and the fingertips holding the pen were white.

Ruan Ningwei committed suicide in her previous life.Although Ji Youyan has not seen that Ruan Ningwei is the one who would do such a thing so far, she knows that Ruan Ningwei is a kind and delicate person.People with too delicate thoughts are often sensitive and fragile. She was worried that Ruan Ningwei would not be able to bear some words after hearing them in her heart.

The air was silent for a few seconds, Ji Youyan licked his lips, and persuaded Jing Xiu tactfully: "Ah Xiu, Ning Wei's problem, or let's forget it. It won't be solved in a while."

Jing Xiu lowered her eyes, looked directly at her and said, "If everyone thinks this way, it won't be resolved in a while, it will never be resolved."

"But the reason why the heart knot is a heart knot is that you know where the crux is, but you can't face it directly." Seeing Jing Xiu's stubborn appearance, Ji Youyan felt a little helpless.

"That's why she can't solve it by herself, so she needs to be pushed by external force." Jing Xiu said in a low voice.

Ji Youyan didn't know whether he was sympathizing with Ruan Ningwei, or felt the same way, "But, Ah Xiu, not everyone is able to bravely face the fragility of their hearts. Some things, some words, are hard to say." Maybe it's not dare The pain of memories, maybe the darkness that I even cast aside, there are always some things that I wish I could never let it see the light.

She was in a daze for a while, and begged in a pleading tone: "Ah Xiu, think about it in another way. Is it too hard to force Ning Wei like this?"

Jing Xiu's face suddenly turned cold.

Sadness flashed across her eyes almost imperceptibly, and she asked Ji Youyan, "So, are you blaming me now?"

"You think I'm unreasonable and inconsiderate of others. Don't you?"

Ji Youyan was stunned for a moment, then recovered and denied in a hoarse voice: "That's not what I meant."

The look in her eyes clearly meant that.Jing Xiu's eyes darkened, and he asked: "The person who is cowardly trapped in her own world, makes people who care about her suffer with her, but always pretends to be invisible, isn't she too self-conscious and doesn't know how to understand others? "

Ji Youyan was speechless.She suddenly didn't know whether Jing Xiu's words were questioning Ruan Ningwei or the old Ji Yuyan.

Jing Xiu smiled lightly, and laughed at herself: "Maybe you are right, I am too selfish and too demanding." She stood up, not in the mood to say anything more, turned around and was about to leave.

Ji Yuyan subconsciously stretched out his hand to hold Jing Xiu's wrist, to keep her: "Ah Xiu..."

Jing Xiu turned around, and said in a calm and detached manner, "Let go."

Ji Yuyan's heart trembled.

The camera outside seemed to have heard the dispute inside, and knocked on the door, as if to come in.

Ji Yuyan let go of her strength, and Jing Xiu's hand was pulled away from her palm bit by bit. In the end, there was only a piece of cold air left.

and her empty heart.