Tutoring colleagues - doomed

The author has something to say: Recommended song: Aimer——Night of the Sixth Star

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Yiya wakes up in the middle of the night, and habitually puts her hand on the right side of her body, and her hand is cold.

The remaining drowsiness dissipated instantly, Yiya opened her eyes, and she was the only one in the room shrouded in darkness.Although he knew it was impossible, his heart still trembled involuntarily.As soon as Ya wanted to get up, she realized that her limbs were sore and limp, and her nasal cavity was full of hot air while breathing.

Do you have a fever...

Yiya closed her eyes again, now she understood the reason why that person was not around, so she no longer forced herself to get up and look for him.

After an unknown amount of time, there was a sound of footsteps deliberately lightened in the darkness, and then Yiya felt the mattress around her sink, and a big hand was stroking her forehead.Cool, but gentle.

"I brought you ginger soup, but you just have a low-grade fever, and you'll probably be fine if you sweat after drinking it."

It's him.

"What's the matter? His face is so pale..." Lancelot, who was sitting by the bed, leaned over, touched Yiya's forehead with his forehead, and the tip of his drooping hair accidentally brushed her cheek, "It's not burnt." It's amazing...do you want to vomit?"

Yiya shook her head, not wanting to speak, after the dryness in her throat was moistened, she was still drowsy.She felt that there was an extra source of heat around her, and he squeezed into the bed and hugged her. After being injured, the body temperature, which is always lower than ordinary people, is just right for Yiya.She wanted to reach out and hug him, but for some reason held back.

The room was very quiet, even the rustling of clothes could be clearly heard.The man's strong and slender body almost trapped her in his arms, and the warm breath blew over her skin that was exposed outside her pajamas.The sweaty hair on the cheek was gently parted, and a series of light kisses were branded on the cool lips like the touch of a butterfly. Yiya felt as if a slight electric current had flowed through her body, and a different kind of stimulation appeared on her skin.

"Sure enough, people with a fever are more sensitive."

Yiya heard a muffled laugh from her neck, and then the soft touch fell on her neck, this time it was not just kissing and sucking, he even licked the pulse of her neck with his warm tongue.

"Don't be in heat." The head became more and more dizzy, and while he still had strength, Yiya pushed away the golden head buried around her neck without hesitation.

Lancelot calmed down as she wished, and turned around to pick up the towel in the hot tub beside the bed, "Let me help you wipe off your sweat, so you won't sleep well. I promise you won't move around. "

The faint moonlight came in through the gaps in the curtains, drawing a vague outline of the dark room. Yiya could only see a vague shadow in his misty vision due to fever, but the familiar voice was He spoke softly beside her, and wiped her sweaty body with a warm towel.

Seeing Lancelot's focused and cautious expression, Yiya couldn't help but feel distressed in her heart.I don't know what to say, just let the time flow by stiffly.

When exactly did it start?Has the tranquility between the two of them changed from peaceful to awkward silence?

"Woo... vomit!"

Suddenly, the empty stomach convulsed, Yiya hurriedly pushed him away, turned around and lay down on the edge of the bed, vomiting continuously.He hurried up and hugged her waist, stroking her back to help her relax.After Yiya finally vomited, her whole body seemed to be exhausted, and her body was covered in cold sweat.

Lancelot wiped the dirt-stained corners of her mouth for her, wiped away the sweat, and let her lie down refreshed.Yiya looked at the blond man who was busy everywhere, and when his heart softened uncontrollably, there was another pain in his chest like being burned by a branding iron.

...Is this a dream?

It's not the first time that she thinks this way—it's like being in the ambiguous time between dreams and reality, these things that catch her eyes now, this person by her side, maybe it's just her dream?

It was more than a month after the incident that Lancelot woke up. According to the doctor, it will take at least two years to recover to the point where he can live a normal life. After that, regular follow-up visits and recuperation will be indispensable.When Yiya heard the news that Lancelot had woken up, her heart that had been hanging high was finally relieved, and then she decided to go back home.

The one who brought each other closer again was Lancelot.

Perhaps because of being more cautious, or in other words, more timid, after he woke up, Yiya became at a loss.When Long Luo Feisi's men were sent to intercept her, she just pushed the boat and stayed.However, what Yiya didn't expect was that the relationship between them was even worse than when they first got engaged.

Lancelot still approached her as shamelessly as before, even more unscrupulous, as long as he found the right time, he would always try to seduce her by all means.However, for some reason, when Yiya saw his appearance as if nothing had happened, a sense of irritability rose in her heart, not to mention getting along well with him, but became more ruthless than before.

She knew very well that her intention was not like this, and she didn't want to say those hurtful words, but she couldn't control herself.Every time I saw him, I would have the urge to give up everything in my heart. Now the situation has become more serious, and sometimes I even cry out of nowhere. She knows very well that this is not caused by the pregnancy reaction.

"You can let the maid take care of me, don't you find it troublesome and boring to do these things all the time?" Yiya couldn't help asking, with confusion that couldn't be concealed in her words.

"How come?" Lancelot put one arm around her, gently stroked her belly with the other, felt the pulsation under his palm, and smiled softly, "You are the one who worked hardest, how could I let you You bear the pain alone. It is also said in the book that having a father with you can help relieve the anxiety and depression that pregnant women may experience."

Hearing this, Yiya frowned fiercely, "What are you talking about, Dad?"

"Am I wrong? Is my child in your belly? Shouldn't you call me daddy?"

Yiya's face turned cold instantly, "You did it on purpose."

"It was intentional." Lancelot admitted happily, "By the way, speaking of this, when will we get married? Just the nearest, I'm afraid you won't look good in a wedding dress when you show up in the future. I will Tell them to prepare for the wedding."

Yiya neither agreed nor opposed, and listened to him quietly.

"Why don't you say anything? Your face is still tense. Take it easy. When the baby is born and sees his mother's stinky face, he might doubt your love for him."

Yiya looked at that man with eyes as if looking at a fool, and said coldly: "You are such a fool. Even if there is no love, there are such women who will give birth to children."

"Hehe. But, you will still be born." As if tolerating the ignorant child who made a mistake, Lancelot asked following Yiya's words, "Then, what is the reason for the birth?"

"Like—revenge, or something."

Lancelot seemed to have not heard Yiya's cruel and ruthless words at all, ignored the suddenly cold atmosphere, and still smiled softly, "Yes. I know."

"You don't know." Yiya pursed her lips and stared straight at him, her gaze was as sharp as a beast, "You don't know anything."

you do not know.

Every time I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, I will unconsciously check your breathing.Whenever I think of the touch and smell of the blood splashed on my body that day, my chest hurts.The love is getting deeper and deeper, and the pain is getting deeper and deeper.

You don't know the pain.

——I'm really going to disappear.

——Although I have imagined this matter countless times in my mind, I never thought it would feel like this...

——Goodbye, Yiya.

In the white base, he said with a slightly lonely smile.He kissed her tenderly, and then, right in front of her eyes, his chest was pierced and he fell backwards.Calmly, slowly, step by step toward death, as if——to die for her.

The scene full of despair that I have seen with my own eyes can't be erased no matter how many years.Even though he had recovered and was by her side now, whenever she recalled that day, she would always be overwhelmed with a sense of terror that the world was turned upside down and the world was plunged into darkness.

She couldn't do anything, her body was controlled, her right hand was wrapped in his warm flesh and blood, and she couldn't even shed tears.

It's so painful...it's so painful that I can't hug you with these hands...

For some reason, the sockets of his eyes suddenly became hot.This pain, as if about to burst her chest, almost made her feel strange.Yiya tightly closed her eyes, trembling as if desperately trying to suppress the welling up tears, but she couldn't hold it back at all, the tears gushed out of her eyes like a bank had burst.

"I'm sorry, everything is my fault." Lancelot wiped away the tears from the corners of Yiya's eyes, and gently fell on her cheek with a gentle butterfly kiss, "I didn't mean to make you suffer so much Yes. It doesn't matter anymore, I'm still here, still alive. It's not your fault, it's my fault..."

"No, the wrong person has always been me..."

It seems that he betrayed her, but both of them knew it well. The bottom line is that she betrayed him first.Betrayed the man who had given her countless tenderness and tolerance all this time, and chose someone else.All along, she was the one who betrayed.

However, why can he treat her so unscrupulously?Even if he put him aside, he would still keep conveying his feelings towards Yiya.For Yiya, it was as harsh as hell.

She really wants to escape, she wants to escape from the past that she wants to forget, those memories are so vivid, in her eyes, deep in her cochlea, and in her body, there are still memories about him.Is it really possible to forget?Sometimes I even hope that it will be good for them to separate on that day, then one day it will become a memory in each other's hearts, and finally drift away.

However, the human heart is complex and chaotic, love and hate are mixed together and dissolved in it, and no one can outline their respective shapes.Obviously, as long as he is around, he will feel unbearable pain, but he can't stay away from him.She stayed by his side all the time, but she also kept ignoring him.Is it because of love?Or is it because of hate?Maybe even Yiya herself couldn't understand the real reason.

Even if the broken mirror is rounded again, the cracks cannot be erased.

Now let’s talk about the definition of happiness, how can there be such a qualification?She knew better than anyone how mismatched happy endings felt to them.

Yi Ya covered her eyes, "We've...already..."

"So, do you think it's better if you haven't met me?"

Yiya suddenly raised her head, Lancelot's clear and deep gray eyes were staring at her intently.The pain in Yiya's heart became more and more intense, his eyes became hot, and his throat trembled.

"You're too cunning..."

That's right.So cunning.

This kind of question is too mean, too cunning.

All the expressions, gentle smiles, and joking words he had shown in front of her so far emerged one by one.

——To put it simply, I fell in love with you at first sight, Ms. Murashi Kazuya.

——Is Missy worried about me?So happy.

——I know you hate me, but I like you very much. Compared to being apart, I still like being together.So you have to worry more, even if you hate me, you still have to accompany me, and you have to worry about my feelings.

——I know that Missy hates people like me who live to die.Because of this, so I like you.

——Although I am a self-willed bastard who is self-centered, has nothing to think about, and will not be cured of my stupid disease until I die, and I have hurt you severely, and death is not a pity, but even if I am like this, you Will you still like it?

The man who is always whimsical, makes people feel that he doesn't know what he is thinking, and drives or plots others to do weird things, act willfully, and hurt others like pulling weeds. The filthy self has been staring at the fragile and pathetic self.

Just as she knew all his confusion, stupidity, and cruelty, he also saw her weakness, ignorance, and pain.She couldn't lie to him, but he asked her such a cunning question "Is it better if you haven't met me?"!

The answer has long been known to each other.

cunning!So cunning!

"This kind of question is too cunning! It is simply asking knowingly...too cunning..."

Yiya choked up and accused him, and Lancelot stretched out his hands to hug her.Yiya leaned against his arms, feeling the pulse of the heart coming from the touching body surface.

Thump...thump...

The tears could not be stopped, and the pain in the throat and chest seemed to be torn apart.

The idea that it was better not to have met him never existed.

At that time, for her, he would not hesitate to lose his life.And she, who has clearly decided to be with him, has not changed even now, and still wants to be by his side all the time.

Clearly—obviously so.But……

Why, would she choose to escape?

"You hurt me, and I hurt you too. How long will this meaningless mutual hurt last? Don't you feel tired and wronged by me, a woman who is moody and moody? Although other people I didn't say anything, but I know that they probably have dissatisfaction with me in their hearts. Is it really okay to accept a leader's wife who has caused big troubles for the family? Why don't we just..."

"--I forgive you."

Yi Ya opened his eyes wide.

Yiya couldn't believe the content of the gentle whispers that rang in his ears.He raised his head, and what he saw in his wet eyes was a beautiful face that was smiling.

"No matter what you do, I will forgive you. As long as you say 'you like me' without falsehood, it doesn't matter. That's fine, I don't care about other things... No, maybe that sentence itself is Lies, but even if you hate me, it doesn't matter. I don't regret it at all, as long as you can always be by my side."

In the darkness, the arms wrapped around his back increased their strength.Lancelot hugged her tightly, as if she would disappear if he let go.He reached out and touched her forehead lightly, and said in a soft voice while sliding his fingertips across her eyebrows, eyes, nose tip, and lips.

"The so-called gambling is different from thinking that it doesn't matter even if you die. I have never regretted it. I have only one wish, and that is to spend my life by your side, the place closest to you. If you It means that if you want me to wait, I can wait as long as you want. But one day I want you to be my woman."

On the corner of Lancelot's lips, a soft smile like the bright moonlight slowly spread.

"I don't think it's a troublesome thing. For males, the most natural posture is to chase their prey. Although, occasionally, I hope you can look back at me."

From the moment they met, in a time she didn't know, he had fallen in love with her deeply.

He likes everything she does, knowingly or unknowingly.He saw everything about her, her beauty, innocence, stupidity, ferocity, joy, pain, and sadness, all made him love her even more deeply.How could he, who had been watching her for 11 years, not notice, but—not enough.

It is not difficult to get her, but it is very difficult to make him the only existence. He has always been very clear that someone has already occupied that position in her heart.So, let her hurt a little bit.Only with some pain can she remember him more deeply.

Brand it so that all who see it, and all the ghosts in the dark, know that she—is his forever.

In the end...it was achieved.

From the moment he killed him with his own hands, she was already firmly in his hands.

No matter who you see, you will only think about his affairs.No matter who you will like in the future, no matter who you will hate in the future, all will be compared with "him" - what is similar to him in this person, and what is different from him, such an evaluation will jump out at the first time - ——"He" is not only an absolute existence that cannot be used for comparison, but also an evaluation benchmark that must be used for comparison.

That one and only existence.

"Even if it will be destroyed, just rebuild it again. I can rebuild it with you as many times as you want. Let's build together. If there are a hundred steps between you and me, you have already stepped towards me If you take the first step, then leave the remaining 99 steps to me. Whether you continue to move forward, stand still and wait for me, or even turn around and run away, I will come to your side. Even if you have killed So what? I've got you, and that's all."

Lancelot smiled quietly. It was a peaceful smile that seemed to make people tense their throats.

A tingling feeling surged deep in Yiya's heart, his throat seemed to be blocked by something, and he couldn't even make a sound.After a while, he said in a voice that was about to cry: "Really...it doesn't matter?"

"of course."

"Is there anything I need to do?"

"As long as you live well and smile by my side, that's enough."

"We really..."

Is it possible to do it all over again?

We who have already finished it once... can we really start from the beginning?

"—Yes." Lancelot declared naturally, "I have always believed in Happy End. No matter how much suffering fate brings, both of them will overcome these sufferings and live happily ever after—— There are stories like this in the world.”

As long as we live, there will eventually be changes.

While this may seem like idle rhetoric, it is true.There is no such thing as never changing.Therefore, this dark road will not last forever, and the next dawn will surely come.

Yiya lowered her head and let the tears slide down her cheeks, a faint but beautiful flower of smile bloomed quietly.

If you look at it from the perspective of 13 years ago, she must be repeating the same failures now, but even so, the pain caused by the injury will disappear one day, just like Togiri said, if You can't move into the future without trying to cut through the past.Sometimes it is necessary to destroy everything and be hurt before you can understand certain things, see certain scenery, and experience certain emotions.

Now she wants to believe that at the end of the darkness, a brand new world can be created.

I also want to believe that even if I am frustrated or injured, I will definitely be able to gain rebirth.

I also want to believe that even if some people miss each other, hate each other, hurt each other, and run counter to each other, they can still meet again.

Because no one can break the bond between him and her.

She believed so deeply.

As long as they are still willing to choose to continue to survive, everything can be restarted.

Yiya gradually calmed down, and after waking up from the excitement, he realized that his head was hot as if he was drunk, and the world in front of him was spinning a little bit, so he couldn't help but lean his head lightly on Lancelot's chest forward.

Feeling the warm body temperature around his heart, Lancelot gently stretched his arms under her waist, making her close to him with the strength not to hurt her abdomen.Seeing the peaceful sleeping face of the woman in his arms, Lancelot narrowed his eyes and smiled, then bowed his head, brushed his hair away, and gently kissed the corner of Yiya's lips.

Yiya finally got a little sleepy, but he didn't expect him to come out suddenly, and couldn't help but get angry.But before she could move, the other party held down her hands and feet first.

"Don't move around, be careful not to hurt the child." Lancelot laughed mischievously at Yiya.

Yiya was bitten back, and became even more angry. She wanted to struggle but was worried about her stomach, and finally she was succeeded.

His head, which was already dizzy due to the fever, was even more blank, and his whole body was limp and weak, but there was an indescribable feeling in his heart.His kiss was getting deeper and deeper, and the wet tip of his tongue seemed to be speaking coaxing words, tempting her to sink slowly, full of self-evident meaning between lovers.

It's a pity that the severe pain from the soft flesh in his waist showed that the person in his arms has come to his senses, and how angry he is. Lancelot sighed in his heart, and after lingering on her lips full of regret, he still relaxed. Her arms let her push herself away.

"What do you want?" Yiya stared at him, as if he would slap you if he didn't give a reasonable explanation.

Why do you want to ask?

Of course, he didn't dare to say that.So he replied with a smile: "I heard that the fever will go away the fastest when it is transmitted to others."

Yi Ya continued to stare.

"Maybe one time is not enough, I will try harder?"

Seeing Lancelot still approaching shamelessly, Yiya pushed his face away without hesitation, "Forget it. It's all your fault, I didn't get a good rest all night."

"Ah, is it dawn yet? Sure enough, the spring night is short."

Yiya pretended not to hear.

At this time, the curtains have been dyed the bright color of the rising sun.In the white sky floated thin peach-colored shining clouds, and from the other end of the clouds, the sun shot down like stairs extending up into the sky.It seems to dissolve love, sorrow, hatred, hope, and make people feel warm and sacred golden scenery.

The figure of a man emerged in this faint light.The flowing moonlight-like short blond hair flutters gently in the wind, whether it is the smiling gray eyes or the handsome face with a faint hint of sickness, all of them are deeply stained in this dazzling golden sunlight. warmth.

Yi Ya seemed to be warmed up.

Lancelot asked her to switch places with him, and half-lyed and half-sit sideways, blocking the incoming sunlight, "Go to sleep again, don't worry about other things, they won't come looking for you without a wink."

"Then what are you still doing here? Aren't you going to work?"

"I'm working, and it's still the most important job."

"Most important job?"

"Sleep with you."

Yiya couldn't help laughing, "Whether you're sick or healthy?"

Lancelot smiled back, "With you."

Yiya felt herself being embraced gently, his embrace was very gentle and warm, which made her feel very at ease.

The happiness they have been looking for may be very far away, and there may be a lot of pain and sorrow waiting for them, but she believes that they will not let go of each other's hands.

Because they have already obtained unique treasures from among the lost things.

With him by her side.

In the near future, a third will be added, and maybe a fourth and a fifth.

Then they live together.