Tutoring colleagues - doomed

That happened many years ago.

Memories after that person has left.

"The leader of the Ninth Generation of Peng Gelie mentioned something to me a few days ago. The Langluofusi family seems to intend to marry us. This is not a mandatory requirement. If you don't want to, I will refuse."

When Master Juzhi conveyed this to her, what kind of expression did she have on her face?

"...Well. I see."

I don't quite understand Master Juori's expression, but I just feel a little sad.

At seven o'clock in the morning, Yiya's day began with throbbing pain at the temples and fatigue all over her body.

"Good morning, miss."

When the maid's call came from the other side of the sliding door, Yiya, who was not sleepy, had already sat up with her eyes open.On the desk next to the bed, there were many ledgers and documents piled up. The desk lamp was on all night, and the faint yellow light emitted at this time seemed to be too dim to be swallowed by the sun.

"Miss, why are you staying up late to work again? It will be too much for your health if you go on like this. Please think about yourself more."

Dressed quickly, Yiya stepped onto the corridor leading to the main house.Jie Zi, who followed behind him, was also giving routine advice. Every time the wooden floor was stepped on, there would be a creaking sound, and the sound of Jie Zi's voice reached Yiya's ears. It always felt like countless voices reverberating together. , stabbed the brain throbbing.

"I had a good rest."

If you only sleep for an hour and a half, it is considered a rest.

A lie that no one would believe—you could see this from Yuko's worried expression.However, from the surface, it can't be seen that Yiya is tired at all, and her brown eyes are still sharp and energetic.

"Thank you for worrying about me, but I know my physical condition very well, and I won't force myself."

There is too much to do, and it cannot be done as quickly as possible.

The cold air in the early morning in the deep winter finally cheered up the sluggish spirit, and he returned to his usual state in an instant, turned around and said: "Jiezi, let Mr. Shan Shang get the car ready, I'm going to Yinchi's house later date."

"...I see." Yuzi paused, and then asked the question that had been nestled in his heart for a long time, "Miss Yiya, can I ask you something?"

"what's up?"

"About the marriage...do you really think it doesn't matter?"

Yiya's footsteps paused, and then she moved forward with an unwavering attitude, "I have decided to meet with the other party. Marrying with the Langluofeisi family is a harmless thing for the Cunzi family. Good thing, my personal feelings are second, but are you so sure that I won't like each other?"

"No, of course not. It would be the best if Miss can fall in love with the other party. However, I still think it's not very good..."

Yiya raised her eyebrows, and said casually, "You seem to have changed, the old you wouldn't talk to me like this."

"As a servant, you should not interfere with your master's affairs."

If it was the previous knot, he would probably lower his head shyly and give a standard answer in a low voice trembling with fear.

When did it start?That Yuko who turns pale and trembles when he sees her and Lord Juzhi will one day speak boldly to her.

"I'm very sorry!" Yuzi bowed down to apologize hastily, but Yiya didn't feel angry when she saw her like this.

"No need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Go and tell Mr. Yamagami, I'm going out."

Yuzi quickly agreed, and seemed to think of something to say before leaving, but in the end he just glanced at Ya, and left silently without saying anything.

At 45:[-] noon, the business meeting with Yinchi's family was just halfway through.

Outside, the courtyard was covered with snow that fell last night, and this morning the snowflakes still hadn't stopped, and they kept falling down one after another.The air was bitingly cold, and a trace of cold air rushed into the body through the clothes.I am used to the cold winter in Kyoto, but why does it feel so cold this year?

"Miss Cunzi, I heard that Cunzi's family is going to marry the Langrofis family in Italy. I would like to congratulate you in advance."

The sudden old voice drew Yiya's attention back in an instant, and the old fox from Yinchi's family was looking at her with interest.

"Thank you." Yiya nodded to him, her smile unchanged, "Then, you must attend our engagement banquet."

Seeing Yiya's reaction, the old master of the Yinchi family laughed hehe, and seemed to reply meaningfully: "Of course. This is a rare happy event for the Cunzi family for decades. How can I miss it?"

Boring jokes.Yiya didn't even move her eyebrows, "So, can we continue the discussion?"

"Miss Murasaki, can you please explain this clause?" Then he shook his head trying to drive out the heaviness that was entrenched in his brain, and lowered his head to flip through the document, "No problem, this clause is actually... "

At this moment, a strong dizziness suddenly invaded the brain, the body suddenly lost the ability to balance, and the vision spun uncontrollably.

"Clang-clang-"

The sound of ceramics shattering suddenly exploded, accompanied by other people's surprised and panicked calls.

"...I'm fine, I'm just a little dizzy, please don't be nervous." Before the black mist covering his field of vision completely dissipated, Yiya quickly stopped others from calling a doctor.

"Are you really okay?" The old master of the Yinchi family looked at her with the same eyes as Yuzi.

Yiya smiled and stood up quickly to show that there was nothing wrong with her.

"I'm very sorry to cause you trouble, let's move on to the meeting."

The other party seemed to be hesitant, but under the hint of the old master's eyes, he had no choice but to follow the instructions and continue the meeting.

Entering the working state again, Yiya forced a smile on his face, but his head was constantly attacked by wave after wave of dizziness, and the accumulated fatigue in his body seemed to be lifted, and all of them rebounded on himself at once.

No, she can't fall down now, she can still hold on...

With such a hint to himself, Yiya immediately immersed himself in the discussion again.

At five o'clock in the afternoon, the meeting finally came to an end.

After Yiya got into the car, the first sentence she could not wait to tell the driver was: "Drive!"

"Miss, are you alright?" Shanshang asked worriedly after glancing at Yiya's pale face from the rearview mirror, but was pressed back by Yiya's stern stare.

"Drive, go back to Cunzi's house!"

"Yes Yes!"

The car started slowly, even though it was very smooth, it still made Yiya feel very uncomfortable.Dizzy and dizzy, the body is as hot as fire, but shivering as if falling into an ice cellar, and the nausea is uncontrollable.Yiya curled up into a ball, trembling uncontrollably.

Outside the car window, the snow kept falling, falling in large swaths, rustling, rustling.With his eyes closed tightly, he couldn't see anything, and felt that the surroundings were too quiet, as if he could hear even the slightest breathing sound clearly.

"Miss Yiya has a high fever...the doctor said it was overtired...yes...often working late into the night...my lord..."

——In the darkness, a voice of an emotionless woman came.

"Ichiya, you were born to live for Murasaki's family.You can't be weak, you can't hesitate, you can't be willful.Do not betray us. 』

That was the mother, looking at her daughter as if she were looking at an object that had only value and had nothing to do with herself.

"Although everyone is like this, can you continue to guard this house for me? 』

That is Lord Juori, who understands everyone's ugly heart but always smiles gently.

Yes, she promised them that she would always guard and live for Cun Zi's family.She must be strong, must be invincible, never afraid, does not need anyone's help, and can solve all problems by herself.The word showing weakness is destined to miss her life.Murura Ziyiya will never, and cannot show weakness.

However - there is a voice in my heart saying: I am so tired...

Already tired.I have become numb to pain, including my own pain and the pain of others.

Contrary to the shortness of breath, Yiya regained her inner calm bit by bit.

Tired and in pain?Maybe that's right...the big empty house, the cold and heartless relatives, no one will care about her empty family.I am extremely anxious about the slow passing of life every day, I don’t know what I can do, and I am surrounded by fear and anxiety every day——

Until I meet that person.

However, that person is no longer by her side.

"It's so cold...so cold..."

The heart was beating violently, and Yiya's face was contorted in pain and difficulty breathing.Gasping for breath, her consciousness instantly became chaotic.The darkness became thicker, but she didn't want to resist at all.

The feeling of sinking is very comfortable.Because, there is a temptation to forget everything soothes her heart.

After an unknown amount of time, Yiya woke up from her sleep, and the sky was already dyed a thin layer of orange.

The car was still driving slowly, Yiya was leaning on the seat, staring blankly at the rapidly receding scenery out of the window with some out-of-focus eyes, suddenly, a picture flashed in front of her eyes, like a lightning strike A ya.

The setting sun slanted, and everything was covered with a hazy orange.In a small abandoned park, a young girl sat alone on the swing, with her head lowered, her thin body huddled up, swinging on the swing once in a while, as if she was waiting for something.

That figure, somehow, felt full of sadness.It was deeply imprinted on Yiya's retina.

"--parking!"

Regardless of explaining clearly to Shan Shang, Yi Ya couldn't wait to open the car door and jumped out after shouting.There was a sharp pain in her ankle from the impact, but she couldn't feel it at all, and she staggered towards the park.

Only the figure of the girl remained in his field of vision and in his brain.

"Huh...huh..."

The breathing gradually became faster, and the sound of his own breathing, as well as the sound of his heart beating like a drum, sounded so harsh.

"Hu, hu, hu..."

Every day spent with that person suddenly flashed through my mind.From the first time I knew her existence, to the little things between the two of them before that day, all clearly appeared before my eyes.

Now, that person is here.

Yiya's running speed slowly slowed down, she didn't come closer, and stopped three steps away, watching the girl quietly.The girl sitting in the white snow breathed into her hands, her cheeks and nose were red, and her drooping eyelashes were trembling.The biting cold wind blew her shoulder-length brown hair, her body was trembling slightly, but she didn't have the intention of leaving, giving people the illusion that there was nothing worth caring about in the world except the person she was waiting for .

——However, Yiya knew very well that the person the girl was waiting for would never appear.

The girl seemed to finally realize that someone was standing in front of her, so she raised her head and looked up.Her gaze intertwined with Yiya's.

Looks younger than that person.

The man was looking at her.

"can I help you?"

The voice is also more immature than I remember.

The man was talking to her.

Yiya moved her lips, but she didn't make any sound. What came out from the corner of her mouth was only the sound of panting.

"Excuse me, what's the matter?" The girl asked again. She looked at Yiya's face and said with some doubts, "Are you feeling unwell? You look tired and in pain."

Yiya suddenly felt embarrassed, her cheeks were burning hot.This person is not the person in memory, what the hell are you doing?She must think herself a weirdo.

"I..." Yiya finally spoke, with a dry voice, "I just came out to get some air. I wanted to sit on the swing in the park, but I didn't expect someone to arrive first. I just felt a little surprised..."

"Really? Then I'll let you, anyway, I've been out for a long time."

The girl was about to get up, but was pushed back to her original position by Yi Ya.

"Ah, yes, I'm sorry! I just...you just sit down, I'll be leaving later." Yiya explained helplessly, not at all as shrewd and ruthless as dealing with the old fox of Yinchi's family, but her current appearance is instead The way a girl her age should behave.

Yiya stood beside the girl like this, and the girl who was stared at her seemed a little restless, and couldn't help but cast suspicious glances at Yiya.

Yiya quickly waved her hands, and said in a voice that was almost inaudible, "I'm sorry, my gaze was too presumptuous. Because you look very similar to an old friend of mine, accidentally..."

"Did that person... die?" The girl suddenly became a little sad when she remembered something.

"No, she just went to a distant place temporarily."

"You like her very much?"

"That person is a very strong person. She knows the direction she should move forward, but she always hurts herself in order to protect others. She has always...protected me. I respect her and hope to be recognized by her. Although I am now I can't see her, but one day, I will stand in front of her proudly and say 'I kept my promise'."

"Agreement?"

Yiya smiled slightly, "Well, it's a very stupid agreement."

The girl stared at Ya for a while, then lowered her head and smiled quietly: "I really envy you."

Yiya was noncommittal, and suddenly asked: "Can I ask you something? Are you happy now?"

The girl felt a little puzzled by this abrupt question, but she still answered: "I'm doing pretty well."

"...you don't look like you are what you say you are."

"It's really nothing." The girl smiled sadly: "Although my mother is gone, living alone is not as lonely as I imagined. Living alone like this seems to be pretty good."

"It's an agreement, when we meet again, I must let me see your happy smile. 』

——At that time, that person clearly had such a bright and happy smile.

"What's wrong with you? Is there something uncomfortable?"

The girl's obviously worried voice rang in her ears, and Yiya realized that she was crying.She quickly wiped away her tears, and replied casually: "I just suddenly feel sad, because I also lived alone for a long time..."

"I can teach you a way—"

The girl suddenly raised her voice, revealing a smile that was somewhat different from the person in her memory, but still bright.

"When a person pushes on and feels tired and wants to stop, just think 'be patient', 'go another 100 meters to get a limited-edition product at a special sale', or 'this time I got it Half-price dish soap, try to get free Matsusaka beef next time, and you will feel that the road ahead is nothing to be afraid of. Ah, this is just the idea of ​​a person like me who does nothing but go to school, eat, sleep and work La."

That voice, that passage of words, is now echoing in Yiya's ears, and gradually overlaps with that person's voice on that day a year ago.

It doesn't matter anymore—

The turbulent and spreading ripples in Yiyaxin Lake gradually calmed down, and she quietly looked down at the girl, feeling neither tired nor uneasy at the moment.

Although it is really difficult to persist like this all the time.As long as you stop and look back once, all the pretended strength will collapse immediately.

But, it doesn't matter anymore.

The person who broke the shackles in her heart and gave her so many seeds of happiness will live alone, enduring loneliness and pain longer than her.However, no matter how painful or hurt, that person has not given up until now, and has been smiling.

It really doesn't matter anymore.

"Miss—Miss—"

Not far away came a call from the mountain, and the girl looked at Yiya after hearing his voice, "Is it here to look for you? Are you leaving?"

"Hmm..." Yiya responded softly, and turned her head to show a smile that was warmer and more beautiful than Dongyang, "When we meet next time, it would be great if you can no longer be lonely."

Goodbye.

Yi Ya added in her heart.

Poor Shan Shang was so anxious that he was sweating profusely, and almost cried when he saw Yi Ya.

"Miss, where did you go? Is that girl your friend just now?"

"It's just a stranger who happened to meet." Saying this, Yiya's side face facing the sunset was unexpectedly soft, showing a look of nostalgia.Then she turned her head and bowed deeply to the mountain, "I'm sorry to make you worry."

"No, it's okay, miss, let's go back quickly, the master is waiting for us."

Yi Ya obediently got into the car.Sick and having just exercised, she felt drowsy in the warm compartment.

"On the mountain, how long do you think people's memory can last?"

"Well... I've heard that the older the memory, the harder it is to preserve, and the memory seems to have a shelf life."

Yi Ya gently closed her eyes.

"It must be wrong."

"..."

It's just a passer-by you meet on a certain winter day, you must turn around and forget it.However, I will always remember every word, every movement, and every look in my conversation with you today.never forget.I will never forget what you have done for me.

Even if you are not around, I will always think of you, there is nothing to be afraid of being lonely.Even if I am here alone waiting for you, I no longer feel lonely.

There will be no more tears.

I'm so happy now, what about you?Have you become a little bit happier?

Even if you tell me "no need" in the future, I won't listen to you.

I think you have become as happy as me.