Never Meeting Again In Our Next Life

"The difference is that in this life, you saved him from that catastrophe in time, let him avoid fatal injuries, and lived cheerfully and frankly until now." Song Yan paused when he said this. , "Every time I think about it, I am very grateful to you."

Xia Lin said lightly: "I didn't do this to get your gratitude."

"I know," Song Yan's gaze softened, "Because you are kind-hearted by nature, even if I betrayed you because of Yu Luotong in my previous life, you can still help him in times of crisis. I admire this kindness of mind." Ashamed again."

Xia Lin was very unaccustomed to being flattered in person like this, subconsciously moved his lips, wanted to refute, but didn't know what to refute.

Song Yan continued: "I always thought that I loved Luo Tong, but it was not until this life that I realized that it was not love, but pity and responsibility. Because Luo Tong needed me, I decided to protect him For the rest of my life, because he was extremely insecure and worried about gains and losses all day long, I had to pay attention to him every moment, lest I accidentally touch his sad things and make him think he was abandoned again."

Xia Lin sneered and said, "You're lying. If you didn't really love him, why would you seek death several times after learning of his death? If I hadn't kept stopping you, you would have gone down to see the King of Hades long ago."

"That's right," Song Yan sighed, "At the time I thought Luo Tong was dead, and I really didn't want to live anymore. At that time, it was because I resented my family members for forcing Luo Tong to death. On the other hand, it was also because. Luo Tong made a poisonous oath. During the darkest period of Luo Tong's life, in order to encourage him to live, I swore to him that if he died, I would not live alone. I will also be with him, and will not let him be alone. However, I still failed to fulfill my promise to him in the end. He died, but I lived in this world, and even stayed with you later, which was even more important to him. It is a double betrayal. While I am indulging in your tenderness, I am constantly blaming myself in my heart. I also want to be nice to you, but I dare not be too nice to you. I often wake up when I dream back in the middle of the night. I I always dream that Luo Tong is accusing me with blood on his face, saying that I betrayed him and trampled on my oath."

Xia Lin remembered that in the years when he and Song Yan were together in the previous life, Song Yan did not sleep well at night, and often sat up suddenly when he fell asleep, calling Luo Tong's name.At that time, he only thought that Song Yan still couldn't let go of Luo Tong in his heart, but he didn't expect that it was because of his inner self-blame that he had nightmares again and again.

Song Yan continued: "Later, I met Luo Tong by accident and realized that he was not dead at all. At that time, I really had mixed feelings in my heart. I hated your deception and Luo Tong's determination, but I hated me even more. I was so foolishly kept in the dark for so many years, and my heart was tormented for so many years. At that time, I was really dizzy and completely lost my mind. I had no one to vent, so I vented all my anger It happened to you. But I didn't know that you were terminally ill at that time, and I didn't even think about it. On the day I drove you away, I already regretted it.

"But I'm still deceiving myself, I told myself, I'm just not used to your leaving for a while, and I made an appointment with Luo Tong that night, I thought, as long as Luo Tong and I reconcile as before, there will be no such I felt a heavy sense of loss. But that night, after I met Luo Tong's boyfriend, I realized that Luo Tong and I were already over.

"There is a new man by his side. That man's parents are very open-minded, and they will not use any means to prevent them from falling in love. That man can also put a wedding ring on him openly, instead of just making a verbal promise like me. Luo Tong doesn't need me anymore. All the past and self-blame I have been in vain for so many years. From the beginning to the end, I was just playing a one-man show. At that time, I was very eager to return to you, only By your side, I have a sense of belonging. But God still does not let me go. When I just recognized my heart, I was about to lose you. During the time when you fell into a coma before you died, I kept Holding your hand, I recalled a lot of things about the two of us. I don’t know when you started to like me, but I clearly remember that when I wanted to die with Luo Tong, it was you who held me tight Hold me, cry and say to me, if I die, you don't know how to live.

"That was the first time I knew clearly what you meant for me. I was very surprised, but more moved. It turned out that there was still a person who kept guarding me silently. So I finally gave up suicide. Not because of anything else, just because. I don't want to see you cry so sad and hopeless.

"At that time, I accepted you very quickly. I once thought it was because of emptiness and loneliness, but it was not until after you died of illness that I realized that my friendship with you has taken root since the beginning of our acquaintance. If Luo Tong did not appear, maybe we will slowly attract each other, tell each other our hearts, and stay together for a lifetime. But Luo Tong appeared too early and too suddenly, before I can see my heart clearly, and I don’t know anything When it was love, I had already made a lifetime commitment to him.

Xia Lin silently wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes in the dark, and he forced himself to remain calm and awake.

He said in a slightly choked voice: "In the past and present, whether you love or not, you can only rely on your tongue to shine like a lotus flower. How can you prove that...

"I can prove it."

"what?"

"The first rebirth is the proof." Song Yan said slowly, "You always say that I chose you because Yu Luotong didn't love me. That's not the case. In this life, Luotong has been living safely and happily Growing up, I shared the same interests with him, but we have always maintained an ordinary friendship, because in this life, I am no longer his salvation, and he is no longer my responsibility.

When I saw Luo Tong and his boyfriend David again, I really breathed a sigh of relief. No matter in my previous life or this life, I don't owe him anything anymore. I can finally let go with peace of mind and don't have to endure it anymore. The torment of betrayal and self-blame.

When Song Yan said this, he turned his head and looked at Xia Lin's silent silhouette in the darkness with burning eyes: "Do you know, Xia Lin, I was alienated by you again and again in my third year of high school, and I was angry. I have been wronged, begged, and desperate. All these emotions are just because I like you. It was not until all the memories of the previous life came back that I really saw my heart clearly. It turned out that I had already I keep you deep in my heart."