[HP] Don't talk to me

Bryce is gone, and although it's near dinnertime, I won't let him stay for dinner.There was a foul smell in this room, in this whole house, and I could smell it myself, and I knew Snape could smell it, even if he didn't say it.It was a debilitating smell of dying, and it would not appear in St. Mungo's Hospital, because the circulation was too strong there, and there were powerful magics to remove these abnormalities.Here, it was just me and Snape, two people who seemed to be forever frozen and imprisoned in the rift of time.

At dinner, we sat quietly in the living room and ate.Maybe because of the black bruises crawling up my neck, my throat hurts so badly that I have difficulty swallowing.Snape made me porridge with milk and some finely chopped nuts.He stirred a plate of pasta by himself and ate it more slowly than I did.

I took a few sips and put the spoon down.Maybe meeting Bryce today made my mood fluctuate a little. I took a few deep breaths and said to Snape, "Severus, I hope you can do one thing."

Snape looked up at me quickly, pleased.His ruse of getting Bryce to come to me worked, and I had to talk to him.

"Go ahead." He said cautiously. "What's up?"

I waved, wand lightly danced.A cowhide bag flew from the bookshelf and landed gently in the palm of my hand. "You keep this, there is a sum of money in it, I will leave it to you."

I handed him the bag, and he took it but didn't open it, just looked disbelieving. "You still have money?"

I still have money, yes, I wouldn't even think about it if I hadn't come back here.

It's funny to say, if I remembered this pocket secret earlier, wouldn't I have avoided many choices?

Staying in this house these few days suddenly gave me a lot of time to recall the past, and also gave me a lot of conditions for recalling the past.I've been secretly hiding this money in a bookshelf in the living room, Snape doesn't know it.And from the time I clipped it into the pile of books, I didn't intend to take it out anymore.Because this is the money from the sale of Oriefa's house and the savings in his original account.Since he has no other descendants, after he was caught in Azkaban for the second time and died suddenly half a year later, I obtained his legal property as the sole heir.The amount of money was large, more than half in Muggle coins, held in a Muggle bank account in London.A small portion was Galleons, kept in a safe at Gringotts Bank.I didn't touch the money back then, and I won't touch it in the future.But I knew Snape needed it, because if Bryce got the house, he'd have to buy a new one.This is also good, because there are too many memories here, half of them are good and half of them are not, it is best to forget them all.

"The money, you can use it later, the password is in the cowhide pocket, written on a piece of paper with a line. Don't give it back to me, I won't ask for it, and I won't need it, I will Seriously. If you still respect me, Severus, please don't tell me anything I don't want to hear."

He looked at me, his mouth moved slightly, and finally said nothing.

We finish our meal.

After Snape had packed everything, I immediately proposed to take a shower.In the past, he reminded me repeatedly before agreeing. He was a little surprised at my initiative, but immediately went to prepare for the bath water.It was very hot, so he took off his shirt, revealing his increasingly thin body, and then gently picked me up the stairs.I hugged his neck obediently, holding it tightly.He walked slowly and steadily, and I leaned on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his skin after he breathed evenly.

The bathroom was hot and humid, Snape put me in the chair beside the bathtub, reached out to check the temperature of the water, made sure the temperature was right, and then turned around to help me take off all my clothes carefully.I faced him naked, and it felt completely different many years ago and many years later.I looked at the wrinkled corners of his eyes in the mist and the slightly white spots on his freshly shaved stubble. I felt very sad, but I dared not tell him.I covered my chest and covered my private part with one hand, waiting for him to pick me up and put me in the bathtub.He is now holding the bath potion and the kerchief for rubbing his back with his back facing me, half-bent, his figure is no longer as fit as it was a few years ago, only a layer of skin remains, covering a faintly protruding skeleton.

I slowly lowered the hands that were protecting my chest and lower body.

When he turned around, he was obviously taken aback.I turned my palms out and lifted them slightly towards him. "Hold me in."

I'm inviting, with a black, bruised body, a shriveled chest, and ugly amputated legs.

A voice echoed in my head: Ta Efa, are you ashamed?

I tried my best not to disturb the voice, just smiled and raised my hand higher, towards his heaving chest.

"Hold me in, Severus."

He finally came over and hugged me horizontally.I plunged into the gentle water, embraced by the best elements in the world.

He frowned, and cleaned me as usual, as if nothing had happened just now.

I quietly cooperated with him to take a bath, and took the initiative to take the handkerchief to wash my body.He seemed to sense my strangeness, and I could hear his uneasiness from his heavy breathing rate.But he is no longer used to expressing his emotions to me, just as I always act the opposite to him.

After taking a shower, I grabbed his arm and said, "I want to sleep in my bedroom today."

He glanced at me, closed his eyelids suddenly and lowered his head.

"Tata, let's go back downstairs."

"I'm going to the bedroom." My tone was strong, even though I could only rely on him to get up from the bathtub at this moment.

He picked me up and walked out of the bathroom.I was worried that he would take me downstairs, so when I passed by the bedroom door, I reached out and grabbed the door frame.Arms twitching, movements stiff—it must have looked funny, but none of us laughed.

He sighed, turned and opened the door, and carried me to the bed in the bedroom.

He has now made a bed with me next to the sofa downstairs, so the upstairs bedroom is unoccupied.The sheets were clean, and there was no dust in the room. Although he didn't live there, he cleaned it on time.

As soon as I was in the soft sheets, I put my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me. "I want you to stay with me, Severus." I was afraid he would go down and leave me here alone.

He nodded and lay down carefully sideways beside me.Put your arms around me, like a harbor, to protect my leaky rusty ship.

"Let's do that, shall we?" I stared blankly into his eyes, black eyes. "We haven't done it in a long time, and I want to do it."

It seemed that the same voice sounded in my ears again: Ta Efa, don't you really feel ashamed?

I continued to put away those distracting thoughts and stared intently at Snape, watching his mouth move as if to say - no.

I can't wait for him to say the word, that would take all my courage out of me.

And I don't have the energy and time to try it a second time.

"Do you think I'm ugly? You despise me, I make you sick, don't you?" I said, "You must think that the most sallow and out-of-shape woman in any darkest corner of Knockturn Alley She is also more beautiful than me, and you will want to have sex with her more."

"Tata, don't insult me, let alone yourself!" He growled, looking anxious.We were head to head, so close together, I could see a fine layer of sweat on his brow, maybe just steam from the bathroom.

"I didn't insult you, nor myself." I reached out and started to unbutton my shirt. "I just had a clean wash and no stink. We couldn't have had a better time to do that. We're running out of time."

My buttons are undone.I reach for his chest.We're wearing the same shirt, it's Snape's old shirt that I wear as pajamas, and it's been like that since a long time ago, since the first time I lay here.

"Tata, your body can't bear this kind of thing." He blocked my hand and squeezed my hand tightly, the sweat in his palm was more than his forehead. "I will not risk your body for my own desires."

"It's not an adventure. I can, I want to." I'm like a coquettish child, but I haven't spoken to him in this tone for a long time, I can't control the tone, it sounds a little rough and ridiculous.Then I discovered that it wasn't that I couldn't handle it, but that there was an annoying phlegm in my throat.

I immediately swallowed the phlegm so he wouldn't notice it.

"If you don't want me, just tell me. You tell me: Ta Effa, you're so ugly and disabled, I can't even get hard for that thing with you." I used the dirtiest I knew Provoking him with words on the bed, he laughed unscrupulously.What started as a laugh at his hesitation turned into a laugh at myself.

"I want you, but not now." He still refused. "We still have a lot of opportunities, and we can-"

"Not in the future! Just now!" The laughter stopped abruptly, I trembled all over, and said word by word, "This moment, this minute, this second!"

He was stunned and didn't move for a long time.But I found that he had loosened his grip, and I withdrew my clenched hand from his palm.

I continued to unbutton him, one after another.It made me feel like I was forcing him, I wanted to cry but held back.

He was naked again, just as he had been in the bathroom.I also took off my top and bra, same as in the bathroom.The difference is that we're in bed now - and here we end up being a real couple.And it was here that I discovered his secret, and I have hated this bed ever since.

I swore I'd never come back here again, I wouldn't lie here with him again - we shouldn't have.He's not mine, and I won't be his.We are two separate people, best as if we never knew each other.

I am always breaking my promise, so that I am no longer afraid of retribution.

My hand went down, got into his pajama pants, and then went straight into his pants.His lower abdomen was shaking, and it was shaking violently.He gasped and didn't stop me.

"If your body resists me, it means that what I just said is true." I rubbed my hands up and down, holding his hot spot without giving up. "Or, I'm not even a woman now."

He started stroking me, very gently, as if he was afraid of really hurting me if he touched me.I knew he had finally given in and started wanting to please me and justify his desires.

I moved closer to him and kissed him lightly on the neck. This used to be what he loved most about me, and it always made him turn into a beast immediately.

Sure enough, he murmured immediately, and the movements of his hands became a little harder.

My whole body is also hot, but more of it is a faint pain.This pain came from every bone in my body, and they seemed to tell me: stop now, you will kill yourself.

But I can't stop, there's no more time.

I gradually pretended to enter the state, and the pain came just to be my assistance.I started shaking all over, and I started sweating.There was an expression of enjoyment on my face, and an exaggerated hum sound came out of my mouth.I knew Snape was watching me, and I had to tell him everything was fine.

His whole body tensed up more and more, and I knew he was ready, so I changed from lying on my side to lying on my back, and let him gently press on my body.He kissed me, kissing my belly very delicately.I guide his head down while arching my body in acceptance.

He did as he had done for years, only more gently.My body hurt more and more, especially the side with black bruises, from neck to legs, as if someone was cutting my skin and ripping it off alive.

I looked up at the ceiling, and I seemed to have an illusion that the pieces of wallpaper pasted there were the flesh and blood on my body.

Just then, Snape brought his head closer again, just enough to interrupt my horrified fantasies.

He kissed me lingeringly, our tongues intertwined, a careful exchange of saliva and deep-throat hisses.

"I love you, the only thing I love is you," he said.

A sharp spasm-like pain came from my chest, and I screamed in pain.

And he's already in, moving back and forth slightly inside me. "Does it hurt?" He poked at my question.And began to guess that I was not feeling well, and planned to quit immediately.

My good and bad legs worked together to restrain him and prevent him from withdrawing.

"It's just that I haven't been like this for too long, and I'm not used to it." The pain intensified, and I couldn't feel the slight impact of his movements on me, but I was greedy to have his form, even for a few seconds , I don't want to let him go. "Don't go, go on."

I started humming softly.He hesitated, but my eyes were firm, and he finally gave in and started to move on.

We are one, at least for this moment.

I touched his hair with my hands, pinched his ears, and gently wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of my fingers.I'm not wrong, we just haven't done this in too long and we don't get used to it.When it all started again, nothing changed.

If I had discovered these truths earlier, maybe we would have had a few months of happy time to pass.Now I won't be so angry.

But life is in a situation that keeps getting worse, knowing how to get better, but unable to recover.

He quickened his movements, although he still didn't dare to use force, but I knew from his trembling that he was about to end.

It's a pity, I'd love to have a little more.

I hugged his waist with both hands, and combined my hands and feet to block him, preventing him from pulling away.

"Just stay inside, I want you to stay inside," I begged him.

He kissed my eyelids, not allowing me to observe him carefully.

It was hot and thick, and many tears gushed out from under the eyelids covered by his lips.

We ended everything.

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