shadow lover

During the meeting, I received a message from Anyang. Under my siege, she finally chose to return, but this time the return seemed to be more about helplessness than accommodating. I know that my selfishness has exhausted her energy , she is still willing to follow me now, maybe just like what Xiaofeng said, it's because she can't bear it, not because she doesn't want to give up.

After sorting out the work at hand, I got off work early and went home. On the way home, I thought about how I should behave when I saw her. When I unlocked the door with the key, what I saw was a lot of souvenirs and exquisite packaging. one's gift.

"Why didn't you tell me in advance when you came back, so I could pick you up, why did you bring so many things back, what do you want to eat at night, go out or eat at home."

"Oh, I brought local specialties for Auntie Ke and the others. You can take care of the rest. You can eat anything. I just went to the supermarket to buy some food. I'll do it. You can rest."

While she was talking, she got off the sofa and walked directly past me into the kitchen. She entered the kitchen to cook and talked to me in a calm tone. It seemed that she was still the same as before, but the indifferent eyes and tired figure indicated that she had changed. Insufficient energy.

The food was on the table and we sat down. I poured myself a glass of red wine and drank it in one gulp. After I drank two glasses, Anyang pressed my hand to get the wine bottle. She said, "You can drink some more. It should be more."

"Anyang, do you know how much I want to get drunk and die, do you know that sometimes people live too soberly, which is bad and suffers."

"Anyang, for the last time, if you trust me for the last time, I will live a good life with you. If I treat you badly again, I will go out and be hit by a car. I am struck by lightning, and I..."

"What are you talking about, don't talk about it."

"Anyang, I..."

"Sen Miao, I beg you to stop talking."

That night I confessed my concerns to Anyang through Jiujin, she kept listening and said nothing until I went to hold her hand, she didn't react, her fingers were cold and even her palm didn't have any heat, the palm of my hand just now I pulled away immediately after the next second, and then I heard Anyang say to me with a suppressed voice: "I will go to Auntie and Sister Ke and explain clearly that this matter has nothing to do with you."

Do you want to do this, or do you want to be so selfish that in order to maintain your image in the hearts of your parents and Xiaofeng, force An Yang to compromise? Fu Senmiao, how could you be like this, how did you become like this, you still know this Selfish and hypocritical people, do you still recognize them?

In front of Anyang, I was no longer the steady, delicate, and understanding woman in the eyes of my parents and friends. I was so twisted that I couldn't understand it myself.But I don’t know why as long as I’m here in Anyang, I feel confident. As long as I ask her, she will not be indifferent. Even if she is indifferent to me and doesn’t want to talk to me, I still feel at ease.

The things that Anyang brought back were later divided among my family and friends, and they would write down my gifts after receiving the gifts so that the person who bought them would be completely forgotten.On Saturday night, Anyang and I went back to my mother's place for dinner, and my mother scolded me all night, but none of us could hear that the scolding in my mother's mouth was full of maintenance.My mother's accusations and Anyang's explanation also completely cleared the suspicion that I forced her to leave. During the meal, my mother said to Anyang: "I understand my daughter, she is not unreasonable, regardless of right and wrong. In the future, you will have to think more about things, after all, it is not easy for two people to make decisions alone."

Anyang smoked for most of the night that day, and I seemed to have ignored Anyang's feelings in many ways, forbearance in the face of Xiaofeng, humility in the face of my parents, friendliness in the face of my friends, The painful tearing in the face of me.

Later Xiaofeng asked me, and she said, "Sen Miao, have you ever regretted it?"

Anyang is so busy now that she hardly sees anyone, and her attire has also begun to become formal and professional. She has put on a series of clothes that I have always liked, and I can't help being in a trance when I see her in trousers, a shirt and a coat.It seemed at that moment that I could really see Anyang's face clearly, see the mole at the end of her eyebrow, see the tip of her nose clearly, and see her black and white hair.

How many years will it take before I finally forget you, how many years will it take before I can finally walk to her side, how many constant struggles with myself will it take before I can empty my heart again, in fact, all the whole story is related to her People have nothing to do, that's my knot.

Finally, I can let go of the past without any distracting thoughts. Finally, I can sit beside Xiaofeng and chat with her without worry. Finally, I can stop worrying and entangled with myself. Finally, I can walk towards You, my sun.

I just don’t know that the sun will still shine on me. Yesterday I stood downstairs in Anyang company and called her. I asked her where she was and I asked if you could go home and have dinner with me. She said on the other end of the phone that she was in the company I finally said sorry after being too busy, hung up the phone, and looked at the towering office building with a smirk, laughing at myself for being stupid.

Anyang, I regret it, I regret that I woke up too late and I regret not holding your hand, but I don’t regret meeting you, I don’t regret that my heart is slowly moving in your direction, I don’t regret telling you to stay Come down and don't go.

Under the night light, the shadow behind me was illuminated obliquely. I drove slowly on the wide road. At the intersection some distance from my home, I saw you standing under the lamppost smoking a cigarette. It’s okay. You are alone, fortunately there is still my place by your side, fortunately we did not miss it.