shadow lover

Sen Miao said that since I can leave as soon as I say, she doesn’t have to explain anything when she comes to me. In this way, we started a life that looked like a long-distance relationship but it was not like that. We didn’t let each other because of the distance. Relaxed, but caused more pressure.

It was raining heavily outside the window. I sent messages and made phone calls to the other party over and over again, but no matter what I said or tried to persuade Sen Miao, I refunded the plane ticket and took the train instead. Teng Fei asked my colleague I don't say anything about Sen Miao's relationship.

"Your friend, who comes to see you every week, you are really just friends. Her face looks quite quiet, but her eyes are sometimes very sharp, especially when I am joking with you, her eyes are fixed on me. Makes me terrified, uh... creepy."

"Sorry, I'll treat you to dinner later."

"Hey, that's a good relationship, I have to think about what to eat."

After one o'clock in the morning, I stood at the exit of the train station and waited for Sen Miao to come out. The broadcast announced that the train was 27 minutes late. I waited and waited and finally received Sen Miao at 24:[-]. After receiving it, I asked, "Are you sleepy, let's go back to the hotel and get some sleep first."

"Well, there are dumplings brought by my mother in the bag, and you will eat them when you are hungry."

It was past three o'clock after taking a taxi to the hotel. Sen Miaolei fell asleep with her head on the pillow. She covered her with the quilt and took out the things in her bag. Some bits and pieces were rearranged. If you are afraid of covering your food, take it out and put it on the bedside table or on the window sill.

Sen Miao slept until about eleven o'clock before opening her eyes. She went to the bathroom first when she got up, and when she came back, she asked me if I had eaten, and then opened the thermos for me to eat with her.

"My mother made this specially for you before I came here. The stuffed beef and scallions are very fragrant."

"okay."

"My mother said that if you think it is delicious, I will bring it to you next time, or you can tell me what fillings you want to eat."

"I'll ask the waiter to warm it up before eating. You can eat the bread mat first, and I'll be back soon."

"It's not too cold, you can take a bite, don't bother."

"Sen Miao, it's getting colder every day, and the rainy days have been more frequent recently. You can rest at home or go to the store and stop tossing around."

"Can you say something else"

"Sen Miao, it hurts to see you tormenting your uncles and aunts like this, and I don't feel good seeing you so tired."

"This is what I should do. There is nothing to be distressed about. I am not worthy of sympathy for my own suffering."

"Why do you say that, I..."

"Don't talk, I said, I use you to vent my emotions, I'm selfish, I use your feelings for me to consume your energy, I'm scum, I torture you over and over again, I'm not as good as a pig or dog. My dad Mom said me, Xiaofeng also said me, they all said hello, how could I treat you like this, I'm an asshole. When you left suddenly, you thought you were forced to leave by me, everyone said you were good to me No, okay, I admit it, I admit it all."

"You can say that I walked by myself."

"I told you, no one would believe me. My parents said that if you don't go back, you won't have a daughter like me. Xiaofeng said that you left because you were heartbroken. Let me think about my problems and apologize to you. How about me? I can’t go home or say something, and I feel like I’m an eyesore if I stay for a second longer.”

It can be seen that she is very tired and extremely tired. The silence in the room makes people feel uncomfortable. I want to go down and get some air. As soon as I got up, I was hugged tightly by the waist. Her breathing became heavier every time. I wanted to pat her. The back gave him a smooth air, but the raised arms finally fell to the side of the body.What Senmiao said doesn't want to be separated from me, doesn't want to miss me, and doesn't want me to turn around and leave again. How much of this is her own subjective consciousness, I think only Senmiao knows.

Sen Miao said that if I don't go back, she will toss like this. She said that anyway, it doesn't matter whether she is annoying or not. She is angry. Angry.

That night, Sen Miao wanted me again and again. I closed my eyes and tightly grasped the bed sheet under me, panting heavily, thinking about my life in the past 30 years, so be it, maybe this is the only meaning of my existence.

Because I was at the bottom of the assessment, I was dismissed after the second stage. After I applied to end the training early due to physical reasons, Teng Fei kept asking me if it was because of Sen Miao that I deliberately let the water go. I was silent.

"Tell me the truth, whether you are a couple, whether she is your girlfriend, don't hide it, it's not unusual now."

"Um"

"She doesn't come here every week to see you, but to put pressure on you, right. If she doesn't go back, she will break up."

"No"

"Then you don't want to do your job well, and you're just being played upside down by her."

"No...she's not that kind of person...she won't harm me..."

"Well, let me ask you a question, is it because you love her, and she treats you as a spare tire for thousands of years?"

On the last day of my trip, Tengfei took me to drink, the stimulation of alcohol made my stomach uncomfortable to a little cramp, laughing meaninglessly, when the last tear dries up, you will feel that the world is really wonderful , When I set foot on this familiar and wet land again, I only felt that the blood flow in my body accelerated.Carrying the suitcase, I went straight to Senmiao's company. Outside the meeting room door, through the glass, I saw the person who was with Mr. Ying. She was serious and beautiful when she was working.I left without waiting for her to finish work. I sent her a message in the taxi, which was concise and clear, and I was on my way back.

After how many times of baptism, people will habitually modify their emotions. After how many falls, people will habitually increase the protective barrier to reduce injuries. After how many times of ups and downs, people will use a The calmness on the surface is to cover up the stormy waves in the heart...

My dear Senmiao, I once read this sentence in a book: Affection is a burden I cannot bear, and words of love are just lies that are occasionally fulfilled.

The author has something to say: I will change it later, and after looking back, I feel that the previous writing is a bit biased, sorry.