shadow lover

I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the top of the white wall in a daze. The doctor said that all the cancerous parts had been removed, and also instructed the precautions for daily diet. From the end of the operation to today, I have been lying in the hospital for a month. , the uncle in the next bed, the first thing he does when he wakes up every morning is to turn on the radio and listen to the broadcast.

I turned my head and looked at the light rain falling outside the window. The rain was mixed with flying snowflakes. Is it already winter? I thought to myself, and then I went to the window with the bedside after class. Raise your hand and write half of the radicals on the glass covered by water mist, one horizontal and one vertical.

I decided to leave the hospital not because I didn't have any hospitalization expenses in my hand, but because I felt a little scared when I saw people being pushed and pushed around me in the hospital. The moment I closed my eyes on the stage, I realized that I was terribly afraid.

Carrying the bag and returning to the rental room, it was cold in the room, so I touched the heat of the radiator. Maybe it was the knife that hurt my vitality, so I felt a little bit hard on many seemingly simple things.After taking a shower, I lay down on the bed and turned off the light to sleep. In my dream, I dreamed that I was standing on an isolated island. I desperately searched and called desperately, but no one answered.

Many times I lie down and don’t want to get up again, even if my lips are dry and chapped with thirst, I still don’t want to move. I remember learning how to quench my thirst when I was a child.Turning over and reaching for the water glass on the bedside table, the glass slipped from the palm of his hand and fell to the ground with a thud, spilling white water all over the floor.

Perhaps it was because of my weakness that I felt extremely cold this winter. After I was so hungry that I had to lean on the wall to stand up, I put on my clothes, took my mobile phone and wallet, and went out to eat noodles at a street stall.When there were large snowflakes in the sky, I wrapped my coat tightly and approached the alley and opened the door to enter the house. I was so tired that I had no time to pay attention to the flying snow scene. artistic conception.

It took me almost half a year after I recovered to the point where I could lift my breath and speak, lift objects that were not too heavy, and go out to work.

"Sister An, you are so fast, no wonder Sister Lili invited you over in person."

"You have been in the industry for a short time, and you will gradually become proficient. Come and rest with me."

Now I can't continue to work for a long time. Fortunately, this little assistant is quite dexterous. He handed the eye shadow brush in his hand to Xiao Zhang, then sat down on a chair beside him, unscrewed the thermos cup in his hand, took a sip and bent down.

"Sister An, are you feeling sick again?"

"It's okay, you messed with you."

It's not a stomachache, it's just that I'm so hungry that I'm a little bit pantothenic acid. I sat on the chair for half an hour and then continued to work. At three o'clock in the afternoon, the work was over, and the little assistant helped me carry the makeup box. She asked me what I was going to eat as she walked. , I said it's all good, you can see it.

"Sister An, there is a restaurant over there that has pretty good Cantonese cuisine. My friend and I went there once, but the quantity is a bit small and the price is a bit expensive."

"Let's go, please."

"Thank you Miss An"

Xiao Zhang is just in his early 20s. When he is happy, he can jump up and down with joy. When he is unhappy, his mouth is almost pouted to the sky. He has a lively and playful personality, which is very attractive.

“Thank you for a glass of warm water”

After I followed Xiao Zhang into the restaurant and took a seat, I handed the menu to him. Xiao Zhang looked at me a little embarrassed, and I said, "You order it. I haven't been here before. I don't know which dish is delicious. You order it if you like it." I just have to taste it.”

"Sister An, I'm so sorry."

"Trouble, this, this, and these two, what do you need for the staple food, rice or noodles, and another serving of beef powder, do you have noodles in clear soup, or something similar, then a serving of plain noodles, that's all."

"Sister An, the two of us can't eat that much, I mean her food is small but it's not the kind where you can run out of food after a few bites."

"Didn't you share the house with your classmates? It would be nice to take it home and share the food."

"Sister An, I will follow you from now on, okay, I will study hard and work hard."

"Okay, then you go and tell your sister Lili, she agrees and I have no objection."

I basically didn’t move what I ordered and just ate a few mouthfuls of noodles. After Xiao Zhang finished eating, I asked the waiter to pack it for me and then got up and went to the bar to pay. When “Anyang” checked out, I happened to meet Mo Han who also came here to eat. I have a few friends.

"Let's eat"

"Well, I went shopping with my friends, and everyone didn't eat at noon and was starving."

"Oh, then go and eat, don't make people wait."

"Are you alone?"

"No, I have colleagues over there, Mo Han, my mother passed away, and I'm planning to talk to you about it."

"When did it happen?"

"It's been almost a year. I'm keeping the ashes in the funeral home. I'm thinking about whether to bury them together with Anyang or something. Let's make an appointment."

"Why did you take so long to say that?"

"A lot of things have happened this year, and I haven't had time to contact you. I still haven't changed my number. Let's do this first. I have to go. There is a child waiting for me over there. See you soon."

After a few short sentences, I crossed Mohan and went out of the store with Xiao Zhang. Mohan said that I feel different from before, I think maybe I have grown up, and other things are not different.

I waved goodbye to Xiao Zhang on the side of the road and took the next taxi home. After I was discharged from the hospital, I hadn’t been to Sen Miao’s house, the place where I worked, or the music water bar. Whenever I think of that person, I don’t know what to do. .I wondered if I needed to find an opportunity to go over and tell her calmly, Sen Miao, long time no see.Or pretend to pass by by chance and have a cup of coffee, pretending it wasn't intentional.Or just go in and say to her, Sen Miao, how are you doing, or what.

In my hand are two albums that I have found after many twists and turns, and another CD that I have never found. Sen Miao, experts say that the CD in your hand is hard to buy in the market now.Even people who have a record collection may not necessarily sell it, even if they can sell it, the price will not be lower than five figures, but you can rest assured that I will buy a new one for the CD that was damaged by me. I just don't know if I have the chance to listen to these melodious tunes with you.

On Friday night, Mohan asked me to come out to talk about the joint burial of An An and her mother. Two days later, we went to the cemetery together. The staff of the cemetery opened An An’s tombstone and put her mother’s ashes in and sealed it. .Mom, if you have the next life, your peace and stability will be with you. May you be a mother and daughter in the next life, and may there be no difference in the next life.

I stood in front of the tombstone with Mo Han for a long time, and I heard Mo Han say: "An'an, your mother is by your side to accompany you, are you happy, don't worry."

When we got down from the cemetery, we walked back and forth, turned around and looked at the tombstones and I said, "Mo Han, do you think someone will bury me if I die?"

She said: "You can't die, people with a hard heart generally live a long life."

I laughed, laughed from the bottom of my heart, laughed until tears rolled out of my eyes, and laughed until my heart ached.

Senmiao, I want to turn into a gust of wind and be blown beside you and surround you. I want to appear in front of you where you can see me. I want to stand by your side and hold your hand confidently. Your oath day and night, I want to have my place in your sight, I want to curl up in your arms and ask for the warmth and softness of your body, I think... oh, forget it, as long as As long as you feel comfortable and at ease, the shadow will be completely hidden under the night without lights, maybe you can’t see me, so as to avoid embarrassment and trouble.