love of life

The moonlight is very bright tonight, shining through the window in front of the hospital bed.He remembered what Jiang Yu said before, the moon connects everyone.But today, he and Gu Ming really walked together.A lot of things happened today, and it wasn't until the dead of night when he was alone that his thoughts began to clear up.He reached out and touched his lips, thinking of the kiss in the morning, his heart skipped a few beats.Gu Ming has always hated homosexuality, but this time he came back so abnormally, does it mean that he is beginning to accept it?

Lin Zexi, who was thinking about it, was lying on the hospital bed with his eyes closed, and hadn't fallen asleep.After an unknown amount of time, he heard movement on the spring bed, and Gu Ming got out of bed and walked towards his hospital bed.He could feel him standing by the hospital bed staring at him through the eyelids, so embarrassed that he could only continue to close his eyes and pretend to be asleep.Gu Ming stretched out his hand and pulled the thin quilt on his body, tucked it around his shoulders, then stretched out his hand to lightly stroke the hair on his forehead, and said softly: "If I can open my mind earlier, will I not lose you?" It feels like I pushed you to other men, and now I feel very stupid, maybe it's retribution, punishing me for not being good enough to you in the past."

After listening to Gu Ming's monologue silently, Lin Zexi tried hard to restrain her emotions.He even felt his eyelids and eyelashes trembling uncontrollably, for fear that he would be forced to face an embarrassing situation if Gu Ming found out.He wasn't ready and didn't know how to respond.

Early the next morning, Lin Zexi opened his eyes, and saw the packed breakfast on the bedside.Gu Ming stood up from the chair by the window and prepared the toiletries for him. "Are you awake? I was planning to wake you up. I went to buy breakfast, but I forgot that you must be fasting for the filming. You wash up first, and I will buy it after you finish filming."

Lin Zexi lifted the quilt and got out of bed by himself, "I'm much better today, I'll do it myself." He looked at the toothbrush and mouthwash cup filled with toothpaste that Gu Ming handed over to him, and reached out to take them out of habit. .Even when he was at Gu Ming's house before, he never handed him a toothbrush, this sudden intimacy made him feel a little at a loss.

"You're still recovering, don't be too pushy, I'll do these chores." After speaking, Gu Ming walked over to grab his arm, intending to help him into the bathroom.

He stopped and insisted: "I can do it myself, don't do this, I'm not used to it."

The movement in Gu Ming's hand paused for a moment, he let go of his hand, and responded lightly: "Okay."

After tossing all morning, he didn't finish all the inspection items until after eleven o'clock.Gu Ming ordered takeaway in advance and sent it to the ward. After eating, he took two bottles of intravenous drip before he was finally free.When the doctor came to make rounds in the afternoon, he suggested to the doctor that he wanted to go home and recuperate.

"Your blood pressure and blood sugar have returned to normal. You need to wait a week for the results of various examinations. If you don't have any special discomfort, you can leave the hospital for recuperation tomorrow. If you have any discomfort, you can come back for reexamination at any time." The doctor glanced at his case explain.

"Thank you doctor, then I will go through the discharge procedures tomorrow morning."

After the doctor left, Gu Ming, who was standing aside with a dark face, finally said, "Why are you in such a hurry to leave the hospital? Even if you leave the hospital, you will go home to recuperate. You can't run around, you know?"

He froze for a moment, and looked at Gu Ming with some puzzlement. He always felt that there was something in the other party's words, and he didn't understand it. "Go back and rest well, and I will take care of you."

"But..." Lin Zexi was thinking about how to persuade him to leave quickly, but was directly interrupted by Gu Ming.

"No, but. You took care of me for so long before, and now it's only natural for me to take care of you when you're sick. Just like what I said yesterday, I can just sleep on the sofa. Well, after a busy day, you should take a good rest. I'll make a call back .” After speaking, Gu Ming walked out of the ward.

Lin Zexi frowned, feeling a little heavy.When he thought that Gu Ming would go back with him tomorrow, and the two of them would spend day and night together in an apartment, he felt restless.Especially the kissing incident happened yesterday, and what was even worse was that he didn't spit on others like in the past.This series of anomalies and anxieties stirred up the memory buried deep in his heart. A year ago, the two evaded and kept silent but couldn't help staring at each other.

Gu Ming, what exactly do you want to do?In the past, I had a secret love for you, and I always wanted to force you to face our relationship, but you put aside the relationship everywhere, emphasizing in every possible way that we are just an ordinary employment relationship.Now I have packed up your memory, but you came out to disrupt my life.

Early the next morning, Gu Ming helped him complete the discharge procedures, sent Lin Zexi back to his place of residence, and then settled down on the sofa in the living room in the name of taking care of him.

"Gu Ming, I'm fine now, you can go about your own business, don't delay your study." Facing Gu Ming's sloppy attitude, he tried everything, but Gu Ming refused to accept it , just don't go.

"I haven't told you yet, I took a year off from school, and now I'm super free, and I have nothing to do when I go back."

"Suspension of school? Why? When did it happen?" Lin Zexi was very concerned about his suspension of school.

"I took a leave of absence from school right after you left, and I won't go back to class until September."

"Why do you want to suspend school? What can be more important than schoolwork?" Changing from his usual easy-going and tactful, he asked without hesitation, and his attitude was still a little tough.

Gu Ming was secretly happy. For the first time in these days, he was interested in his affairs.If he had known this earlier, he should have told him about the suspension from school from the very beginning, so as to save himself from having to deal with his poker face all these days.

"Some things, some people, are indeed more important than studying at certain times. You can study for a lifetime, but some people, if you missed it at the time, you will never see them again." Gu Mingyin said with a serious face.

These words hit Ze Xi's heart directly. Are you blaming yourself for leaving without saying goodbye?But he didn't take the initiative to look for him. After half a year, he ran out out of nowhere, why should he be blamed?Thinking of this, he suddenly became angry: "What can I never see again? As long as you want to see and look for it, you can always find it, right?"

Gu Ming stared blankly at his displeased expression, and slowly said: "Yes, as long as you are still in this world, you can see it from the ends of the earth. But no matter how hard you try, it is difficult to fight against death. You left without saying goodbye that day. Originally, I was He planned to find you back immediately, but when he received a call from my grandma at night, my grandpa was dying in the United States. I was their only relative, so I bought a plane ticket and rushed to the United States that night."

Lin Zexi felt guilty, he knew how important his grandparents were to him.Unexpectedly, he experienced such an important life and death in the past six months. "I'm sorry, I didn't know these things happened. Did the old man feel better afterward?"

Gu Ming raised his head and took a look, his eyes instantly filled with sadness. "No, my grandfather passed away a month later. After attending his funeral, my grandmother also fell ill. Three months later, my grandmother also passed away. I lost two of my closest relatives in just four months. "

Lin Zexi felt that he had opened a heavy topic, like opening Pandora's box, which could never be closed again, and he could not simply swear at Gu Ming.The atmosphere became a little subtle, and his heart softened: "I'm sorry, I didn't expect such a thing to happen, I shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay, I already knew there would be such a day, but it came too suddenly, and I wasn't ready yet." After speaking, Gu Ming fell into silence, and Lin Zexi followed suit, and the room was eerily quiet.

"I have a question to ask you." Gu Ming took the opportunity to say, observing his reaction while speaking.

"What's the problem?" His tone softened.

"Why did you leave without saying goodbye then?"

"I told you before that I was leaving, so it's not like leaving without saying goodbye."

"You didn't even pack your luggage and left without saying hello. You seemed to be avoiding me deliberately, but you didn't hide completely. It only took me half a month to find you, but the news I got was that you Move in with another man."

"I didn't, I just lived in the shop, not with him."

"Later, his shop and house were transferred to your name, isn't that right?"

"I...I have never thought about taking over his house. It will be demolished immediately, and I will return it to him after I get the compensation."

"And then? Go to Shanghai to pay back his money and just stay there as a matter of course?"

"No idea. I never thought that far."

Gu Ming was silent for a while, then slowly said: "Zexi, you come back with me." There was a hint of pleading in the words, which made his heart shake slightly, and he regained his calm instantly.

"Where are you going back? What are you going to do?" He simply asked two questions, trying to confuse Gu Ming, but he didn't expect Gu Ming to answer without hesitation this time: "Go back to City A with me, you can do whatever you want .”

Gu Ming was so forthright that he was a little caught off guard, and then asked, "Why?"

"Because... I like you. Is this reason enough?" Gu Ming looked into his eyes and said softly.

He suddenly turned his back to him, this action made Gu Ming feel the embarrassment of being rejected.But he didn't get angry as usual, he just stretched out his hands to circle him from behind, and hugged him into his arms.He stood motionless, taking deep breaths.That familiar throb came to my heart all of a sudden, and tears fell from my nose.Gu Ming felt that his arms were wet for a while, and he tightly wrapped his arms in his arms with a little force.

"You like me too, although you have been restraining before. I didn't feel it in the past. I took everything you did for granted, and then I realized it slowly. I will come back to you as soon as I finish my work. I don't want to Just calling or texting, I don't want to contact you when I'm not done with what I'm doing, I just want to focus on our relationship. And to tell you the truth, it did take me a while to realize My own thoughts. I spent a long time verifying whether I am gay, and finally I found out: I only like you, and nothing but you." When Gu Ming arrived here, he paused, and the person in his arms still did not respond , he continued: "Give us a chance to start over, okay?"