love of life

After Lin Zexi came out of Gu Ming's house, he happened to bump into a taxi in the community, and he jumped into it without thinking, just wanting to escape from that place.Until the master asked him where he was going, he suddenly became dazed, and it took him a long time to pop out the three words "Changgang Road".He sat in the car in a daze, not understanding why he couldn't restrain the urge to escape.Isn't everything obvious?He's not gay, he hates gays.I have prepared for all of this, is it not enough?Seeing him so desperately wanting to keep him, did this give him undue expectations?From the beginning to the end, it was his own one-man show.He reached out his hand and took out the dilapidated wallet from his pocket, and took out a photo from the damaged interlayer inside the wallet. In the photo, Gu Ming had a handsome face, but there was a trace of sadness and cynicism in his eyes.The moment he got this photo from Tian Yingzhi, he was inexplicably attracted by the person in the photo.Is it because he looks like Wang Yijie?he does not know.He only knew that there was an inexplicable sense of familiarity, and at that time Wang Yijie had disappeared from his memory for a year or two.

During the time spent with him day and night, he clearly felt Gu Ming's growing affection.If Gu Ming is not interested in him at all, he doesn't believe it, but the distance between affection and love is probably a whole world and a hundred times of reincarnation.Too many people choose to hide themselves, pretending to live a normal life all their lives, and how many people swear to each other and choose to return to the mainstream society after a period of love, and live against their will according to the values ​​of the world.From this point of view, Gu Ming is pretty good, isn't he?If you don't love, don't give hope, and if you can't give it, don't let the other party hold empty illusions.And he should leave the scene gracefully and with interest.

He went back to the rental house on Changgang Road alone. The environment of the room was much better than before he met Gu Ming, but the smell and cramped inside still made him breathless.The ancients said: It is easy to go from simplicity to extravagance, but it is difficult to go from extravagance to simplicity.It seems that he has had too many good days this year.He turned on the shower, took a shower with water so warm that he could barely feel it, and lay motionless on the bed.He turned on his phone and saw that Gu Ming had called him twice, but there was no message. He felt an indescribable loss in his heart.

Suddenly, the phone rang, and he picked it up hastily to see that it was an unfamiliar number.

He just got on the phone, and there was a series of bombardments amidst the noise: "Hello, is this Lin Zexi? I'm a weekly reporter. I want to interview you about Xu Zhengwen's being shuanggui. Did Xu Zhengwen threaten you in Wang Yijie's case? Now that the police have announced your innocence, may I ask why you chose to plead guilty back then? What happened to Wang Yijie afterwards? Do you know where he is?"

A series of crackling bombings made his mind go blank, and the constant sound of "Hello" from the receiver brought him back to reality.He hung up the phone abruptly and threw the phone at the end of the bed like a hot potato.In less than half a minute, the phone rang again, the same number as before.He hung up without hesitation, but the other party persisted in calling again and again. Finally, he had to turn off the voice and let him redial a dozen times.Half an hour later, the other party finally gave up.At this time, there was an unread message on WeChat, and he hurriedly opened it to see that it was the Luka who was added in the last food festival, asking him about the recipe of mapo tofu.He just replied a few words to him, another strange call came in, he hesitated, answered the phone without making a sound, it was another person asking for information.In this way, two hours later, his mobile phone and text messages were occupied by these media friends, and he continued all night.He had to turn off the phone.

Lying alone in the dark night, he began to sort out his mood carefully.It stands to reason that he is now so guarded that the clouds will open and the moon will shine.The criminal record has been cleared, and I don't have to report to the police every month, so I can finally lead a normal life.Isn't this what he has been pursuing for the past year or so?Why does he feel so confused now?In the past, when life was so hard that he needed to put in a lot of effort, he didn't have the time to worry about the spring and autumn, but once he was free, his whole body seemed to collapse.family?friend?lover?self worth?Social Contributions?He has nothing.It made him feel a panic, a deep panic.All of a sudden, he wanted to travel, to escape the city that had trapped him for ten years, and to go to a strange place to sort out his mood.

He checked his mobile bank, and there was 5 yuan in savings left.Before today, he really felt that money was very important.He tried his best to save every penny he had, and the numbers on the passbook gave him a sense of security.At this moment, he just wanted to indulge, pack up his backpack, and travel around aimlessly.

Without any hesitation, he packed his toiletries and two sets of clothes and took a taxi to the high-speed rail station, bought a ticket for the terminal of the nearest high-speed rail, and got on the train.Three or four hours later, he randomly found a small stop and got off.This small city is located in the central region, with an underdeveloped economy and no pillar industries. People's lives are very leisurely, and there is an open-air vegetable market not long after leaving the station.Street shops use loudspeakers to repeat the slogan of "clearance special" with a strong local accent.Walking through the narrow streets, watching housewives and aunts haggling at roadside stalls, chatting about family affairs, his eyes got wet.Wu Nong's soft dialect and warm and humid climate have nothing in common with his hometown, but he feels nostalgic thousands of miles away.Since the death of his parents, he has had one more hometown that he will never return to, which has become a knot in his heart.He didn't know until today that hometown is not a place where he grows up, nor is it a place where relatives exist. Hometown is just a familiar sense of intimacy. Any place that makes you feel close is a hometown.

He didn't want to leave, so he found a small hotel on the side of the road and settled down.The hotel costs 100 yuan a day, and the conditions are not good. The only thing he is satisfied with is that he can see the market outside when he opens the window.His pleasure is to move a stool and sit there to observe the people coming and going in the market, guessing their life trajectory, often sitting for most of the day.In the first two days, the hotel owner even knocked on the door, because he didn't go out all day, and he was worried that something would happen to him in the room, but he got used to it later.

Opposite the hotel there is a small restaurant with a good business called Shunxin Restaurant.There is an endless stream of people coming and going every day.Strange to say, in this closed and backward small city, the most famous restaurant is not a traditional local shop, but a restaurant with a unique charm.Why do you say it is strange?First of all, its boss, a middle-aged uncle who looks very trendy, with dense stubble on his chin, looks rough, but the clothes on his body, the earrings on his ears, and even his forehead are scattered inadvertently. The strands of her hair make people feel so coordinated, and the whole exudes an indescribable style.In the first few days, Lin Zexi liked to sit by the window and watch the busy scene in the store.This store sells almost all home-cooked dishes, and as long as there are some in the vegetable market, Xiaogong can buy them and prepare them within 5 minutes.The store is very busy, and he is mainly responsible for collecting money. Most customers choose to finish eating noodles or fried rice in a hurry. Only then will he go out to cook.This afternoon, four tourists came and ordered dishes from the hard-covered menu in the store.He directed the little workers to the market to buy ingredients, and he put on his apron to start preparing.

Across the narrow pedestrian street, Lin Zexi could clearly see his movements. He cut vegetables cleanly, cooked them in one go, and didn't hesitate to add any seasonings or how much.The smell of food wafting from time to time whetted his appetite. The most important thing was that the few people who drove the jeep off-road vehicles looked very happy, and finally bought some cooked food to take away.This made him even more eager to taste the special features of this store.

He took out his mobile phone and dialed the delivery number on the restaurant signboard.The man connected to the cell phone, and a low and somewhat hoarse voice came from the receiver, which was different from his usual shouting at the top of his voice.

"Hello, I want to order a mapo tofu, can you ask your boss to fry it yourself?"

"Boss? Have you ever seen a boss who can cook? Can't." The voice on the other end of the phone was impatient.

"It's not the boss? It's the middle-aged man with the beard."

There was a sudden silence on the other end of the phone, and he took a sneak peek. The man was holding the phone in his right hand and his back was facing the door, with his left hand resting on his forehead, so he couldn't see the expression on his face. "Hey, did you hear what I said?"

"Where are you sending it?" the man suddenly asked loudly.

"Room 213, Limin Hotel."

The moment he hung up the phone, he saw the man suddenly turn around and glance in his direction.He subconsciously hid behind the wall, and almost at the same time, he regretted it, feeling that his escaping behavior was unreasonable.Even if he calls him directly from the window to deliver a takeaway, it's normal, there's no need to be sneaky, it's a bit unfair for him to hide.

Two minutes later, he couldn't control his curiosity. He looked out the window and saw that the man was really cooking by the stove.It's a pity that the dishes were already out of the pan at that time, and he couldn't see the whole process.

Watching him pack the dishes, put on a pair of chopsticks, take off the apron on his chest, and walk across the road with the dishes.He delivered the food himself?He has been observing for the past few days, and this person has never delivered food by himself.He tensed up for no reason.

Two minutes later, there was a knock on the door.He took a deep breath and opened the door. He was about to reach out to take the lunch box, but he didn't expect the man to walk into the room by himself and put the food on the small table in front of the TV. "2 yuan."

"Okay, wait a minute." After finishing speaking, Lin Zexi took out his wallet from the pillow and planned to pay.

"No cash, only WeChat payment." The man sat down on the only armchair in the room carelessly, watching him take out the money.

"I have 20 yuan in change, you don't need to give change." He took out a 20 yuan note and handed it to him.

"That's not okay, the boss stipulated that no cash will be accepted." The man glanced at it, turned his head away, and had a tough attitude.

"Why don't you use Alipay? I don't have a bank card linked to WeChat." He looked puzzled. He just changed his mobile phone and hasn't applied for a WeChat account yet.

"That's not okay, the boss stipulated it. How about you add me as a friend and send me a red envelope after you finish it." The man took out his phone and opened the QR code and said.

"This...well then." Reluctantly, he took out his mobile phone, downloaded a Wechat, registered with his new mobile phone number, scanned the QR code and added him as a friend, the only friend.

The man raised his eyebrows and waited for him to complete a series of operations, and he left satisfied after passing the identity verification.Finally sent that person away, Lin Zexi felt like sending away a great god.Without any hesitation, he quickly bound the bank card and sent him the meal money.The other party quickly clicked to collect the money, but there was no reply.He threw his phone on the bed, glanced at the takeaway on the table, and walked over listlessly to open the takeaway box.The scallions and pepper powder sprinkled on top of the mapo tofu are all in a mess.Without much hope, he took a bite of the dish and put it in his mouth, but the taste was unexpectedly good. The tofu was smooth and tasty, and the sauce was just right, not greasy like restaurant dishes at all.It should taste even better if you dine in.He ate all the dishes with rice, which was the first satisfying meal he had since he came out.Although the man's behavior made him a little unhappy, he is more relieved now.

He threw the lunch box on the corridor, and the moment he turned around and entered the room, he felt a musty smell in the room.It was already the rainy season in the south, and he had been cooped up in the room for several days without going out, the air in the room was so cloudy that he felt depressed.It was rare for the sun to show up a little in the afternoon, so he planned to go out for a walk and buy some daily necessities by the way.As soon as he walked out of the hotel gate, he felt a pair of eyes staring at him.Turning around, the person who delivered the food just now was sitting in front of the cashier and staring at him.He looked back at him curiously, but he didn't expect that the other party didn't want to avoid him at all.This direct eye contact made him uncomfortable.Simply ignore him and walk towards the center of the city.