love of life

There was silence at the dinner table, no one spoke.Among them, Lin Zexi was the most embarrassed, he felt like an unnecessary outsider.He kept his head down and picked up the rice in the bowl, holding the dish closest to him.He raised his head inadvertently, but met Gu Wenbin's eyes.For a moment, like a child who has done something wrong, he quickly lowered his head.

Gu Wenbin suddenly said: "Xiao Lin, are you still taking care of Gu Ming's life now?"

"I..." Lin Zexi was thinking about how to say that he was going to leave soon, but Gu Ming answered first: "Yes, it has always been as you wish. Every day he picks me up and goes to school, gives me I cook, clean, and do laundry, what's wrong? Are you not satisfied?"

Gu Wenbin chuckled and said: "No, I am very relieved about Xiaolin's work. Now that the misunderstanding on Xiaolin's body has been resolved, I have discussed it with Yingzhi, and we will spare no effort to help him. He is still young after all, and you should also help him. Think about it, it's not an option to take care of you all the time..."

With a "bang", Gu Ming put the bowls and chopsticks on the table heavily, and said loudly: "It's not your business to care about us, he has nothing to do with you long ago, please don't act like a boss." His appearance dictates." Lin Zexi on the side turned pale, and somehow he became the center of the quarrel, holding his bowl with his head down, just wanting to escape from this embarrassing situation as soon as possible.

Gu Wenbin said with a sullen face: "Gu Ming, don't be too selfish, he is still young, he should go to school and do more things he likes..."

"Mr. Gu, you are really considerate of others. How come I didn't see you caring for me so much when I was young?" Gu Ming said sarcastically.

"You..." Gu Wenbin froze with his hands in mid-air, his face darkened, then he put the bowls and chopsticks on the table and stared straight at Gu Ming.

"When I was young, you didn't care about me, so don't point fingers now. In the six months since Mom died, how many times did you go home at night? I'm just an insignificant person, so don't play the scene of father-son love anymore. "Recalling the past, Gu Ming's anger surged upwards.

"I was really busy at that time..." As soon as this topic was mentioned, Gu Wenbin's anger seemed to calm down a lot, and there was a little helplessness and entanglement in his eyes.

"Yeah, I know, Mr. Gu, there are endless things to do every day, so I'm very smart, and I won't come back to disturb you. I think I should go too." After speaking, Gu Ming stood up and looked at the people beside him. Lin Zexi said, "Let's go."

"Wait." Tian Yingzhi stood up to block his way, turned to Gu Wenbin and said, "Wenbin, Gu Ming is already an adult, are you still going to tell him? As a father, you can choose your own way to love him and protect him." He, but he also has the right to know the truth of the matter. These years, your father and son have been like enemies, do you want to continue like this?"

Gu Wenbin frowned tightly with a dark face and did not speak. His breathing became more and more rapid and his face became more and more red. Only then did Tian Yingzhi realize that something was wrong. "Wen Bin, are you okay?" While calling his name, he opened the drawer of the cabinet, took out a white medicine bottle, poured a tablet into his mouth.After half a minute, Gu Wenbin slowly recovered.

Gu Ming stood in a daze, looking at the scene in front of him, the man in front of him seemed to be 20 years older in an instant.He was no longer the hard-boiled killer in his impression, but like a leaky human-shaped balloon, soft, as if he would collapse on the ground when he touched it.

Tian Yingzhi looked back at Gu Ming with a surprised expression, and said: "He has a bad heart, and it has been more than a year. I usually tell him not to get angry, but you also know his temper."

"What did you tell me just now?" Gu Ming asked Tian Yingzhi.

Tian Yingzhi glanced at Gu Wenbin, seeing that his face was expressionless, but his eyes softened.Then he turned his head and said to Gu Ming, "It's better for your father to say these things." After speaking, he pulled Lin Zexi out.

There were only father and son left at the dinner table. They looked at each other across the table for a while, and finally Gu Wenbin sighed softly and said, "Come with me to the study, and I'll show you something."

Gu Ming followed him to the study room, but he seemed to have walked a long time within a short distance of more than ten meters.Feeling uneasy and a little bit of fear in his heart, when he was young, he always had a vague feeling that something was wrong at home, but he couldn't tell.His classmates envied him since he was a child. He has a beautiful mother, a successful father, lives in a big house, and has countless toys.But he felt dissatisfied, he felt that his life was empty, no matter how many toys and money he used to fill it up.

Gu Ming stood in the middle of the study, watching him take out an old box from the back of several books, put the box on the table, and touched the frayed corners with his hand. "I thought I would never open this box again in my life. I am a very rational person. I think that some things will pass after they have passed. It doesn't matter whether we know the so-called truth or not. We just need to live in the moment. Just be hopeful about the future. Yingzhi often told me that everyone has different ideas, and I can’t use my own standards to demand others. He also said that to love someone, you must love in the way he likes, not with self-righteous Love to bind each other. You questioned me today about what happened in the past, and I realized that you have been stuck in the past and have not come out. Now I still think it was right for me to choose to hide from you, but when you grow up I kept forgetting to tell you. There are secrets you want to know in it, you can take it and read it yourself." Gu Ming pushed the box towards Gu Ming.

He looked at the box in front of him, but his body seemed to be frozen, unable to move for an instant.The answer he'd been craving for eight years was in front of him, and he flinched a little.He took a deep breath to drive away the fear and anxiety in his heart, and walked over to open the box, which was full of old photos and some documents.He picked up the stack of photos on his face, it was a photo of his mother and another woman, the woman in the photo he knew, was Aunt Qian who used to come to see his mother often.The appearance in the photo was exactly the same as in his impression, with neat short hair, neat shirt and black trousers, and a professional attire.He continued to scroll down suspiciously, and found that this stack of photos were all of his mother and Aunt Qian. The two people in the photos were getting closer and closer, and there was a strange feeling that couldn't be explained.Until the last few photos, the two kissed passionately in the car.The photo was taken secretly from the car window.

"What do you want to say?" He looked down at the photo in his hand, trying to keep his inner peace.

"Don't you understand after looking at the photos?" Gu Wenbin said blankly, his eyes were empty and powerless.

"You mean that kind of relationship between Mom and Aunt Qian?" He continued to get a definite answer from the man in front of him, which was quite different from what he had guessed for many years.

Gu Wenbin took a deep breath and said slowly: "The two of them knew each other when they were studying. Your grandpa and grandma vaguely felt that the relationship between the two was unusual, so they didn't like Qian Xiaojun very much. I kept urging her to get married. Qian Xiaojun and I were classmates. At that time, they found me and wanted me to help them marry your mother. I was also forced to marry at that time. I thought it was a good idea. Temporarily escaping the pressure of the family, and both of them are gay, there will be no pressure to get along with each other after marriage. So we got married in a daze, but we had an agreement before marriage, this marriage is a formal marriage, and each other will not interfere with each other's social life It's easier said than done. Love is always selfish, and Qian Xiaojun couldn't bear me being caught between them. At that time, your grandparents lived nearby, and we often needed to act. Over time, the two of them There was a rift between them. At that time, your mother was very sad, and with the matching of the old people on both sides, we had a relationship in a muddle, and then you were born. They often quarreled in those years, until you were about three years old. Slowly reconciled. After that, they often met in private. Naturally, I had no position to interfere, and I had to help her hide it from her parents. In those years, I didn’t have the time and energy to fall in love. Until I met Tian Yingzhi when you were five years old, and later You know everything about it."

Hearing these words, he could only feel the anger in his chest could not be suppressed, "Confused? You brought me into this world in such a foolish way. Are there parents like you in the world?"

"Although your birth was an accident, your mother and I really love you. No matter whether we like the same sex or the opposite sex, the blood relationship will never stop."

"Family affection? The number of times our family eats together can be counted on two hands, right? I have lived with my grandparents since I was a child. Your so-called family affection is too light, right? You took your lover home just after your mother passed away. " he said angrily.

"I admit that the things your mother and I did when we were young are ridiculous, but I have been trying to remedy them all these years. At this point, I didn't intend to uncover the previous scars. There will be nothing but more harm. benefit."

"Do you think hiding it will solve the problem? Do you know what I have been carrying since I was a child? I kept asking myself, why is my family different from others? Why are my parents and my relationship not close? Did I not do well enough? Now I finally know, I was an accident, no one expected me to come into this world." His voice was full of pathos.

Gu Wenbin sat up from the stool at once, and quickly said: "That's not true, Gu Ming, you were still a child at that time, I can't tell you the truth of the matter, you were so young at that time, you couldn't understand it at all."

"Then why didn't you tell me when I was an adult? If that person didn't force you just now, you still wouldn't tell me, right?"

"Originally, I planned to tell you when you became an adult, but your grandparents are getting old, and I'm afraid they won't be able to accept this stimulation. The dead are gone, why bother to bring up these old things again, and let the living experience it again for nothing. How about life and death again?"

"I have the right to know the truth of the matter. I am not a child anymore. I can tell what can be said and what cannot be said. This ridiculous marriage of yours has ruined the lives of several people at the same time. So what if you like men? What about women? It’s not breaking the law, can’t you just say it frankly?”

Gu Wenbin chuckled and said: "I really envy your generation. The society is more tolerant than in the past, and it is easier to win the understanding of others. When I was young, this was a heinous crime, and it would bring shame to the whole family. Our strength is so weak, we only want to seek a chance to breathe in the cracks, but we did not expect to bring more tragedies."

"These are all excuses for your lack of determination. Haven't many people survived? Is it so difficult to live sincerely?" He looked at his father with some contempt.

"What about you? In today's relatively inclusive society, do you dare to come out? Tell others that you are different from them and that you like men." Gu Wenbin asked clearly word by word.

"Come out?" The word came out of the man's mouth, and his mind went blank in shock, and he didn't respond immediately.

"You like Lin Zexi, right? Anyone with eyes can tell, let alone people like us. Do you dare to tell the people around you?"

"I...we are not the kind of relationship you said." He paused and refused.He didn't notice a figure at the door of the study.

Gu Wenbin smiled lightly and said, "Isn't it? You don't even dare to admit that you like anyone, and you still want to question our choice back then?"

The man's smile stung his heart, and he couldn't help roaring: "Don't think that you are gay, just look at everyone. I like women, do you know how many women I have dated?"

"Then tell me, how long is the woman you have been with the longest? How long have you been with him? Will you let those women live with you? Will you take them home for dinner?" Gu Wenbin continued to ask, every time The question poked right into his heart.

"Didn't you arrange him by my side? And he is really suitable to be a housekeeper." He continued to defend.

This time Gu Wenbin did not answer right away, but raised his eyebrows and nodded in agreement, and after a while he said slowly: "It seems that every time I arrange people to go, you will obediently stay, if this is the case, then There's nothing wrong with him."

"You're enough, I don't care what you're thinking, please don't meddle in my affairs." He didn't want to pester him endlessly.

Gu Wenbin nodded heavily, and the two stared at each other in silence for a long time.After a while, Gu Wenbin suddenly said: "By the way, I saw a figure at the door of the study just now, and I have been away for a while, can you see if you want to..."

Before Gu Wenbin finished speaking, he felt him give him a hard look, opened the study door and rushed out.He sat alone in the study, looked at the back of him leaving in a hurry, showed an incomprehensible smile, then threw his head back, and relaxed on the back of the chair.

"What did you guys say? I asked Zexi to come up to see how your conversation was going, but he disappeared in a blink of an eye. Just now, Gu Ming ran out like crazy and asked me for someone." Tian Yingzhi asked The man in front of him walked to the window and looked into the garden, only to see that Gu Ming had already rushed out of the door, stood on the road looking around, and then jumped into the car alone and drove away.

"Where are the Zexi people?" Tian Yingzhi continued to ask.

Gu Wenbin leaned back on the chair and closed his eyes, and said slowly: "I have revealed all the secrets that have been hidden for so many years, and let them worry about young people's affairs. I can't take care of so much and I don't bother to take care of it. "

Gu Ming chased him out from the study, but Lin Zexi had long since disappeared.He rushed to the road and looked around, but still found nothing.He took out his mobile phone and dialed his number, only a voice prompt that the phone was turned off came from the receiver.So he drove home.He opened the door nervously, the room was pitch black, the slippers were neatly placed at the entrance, there was only silence in the room, no human breath.Gu Ming's heart sank, he knew he was gone, and this time he was really gone.He closed the door, walked into the living room in the dark with his shoes on, and sat down on the sofa, watching the breeze blowing the curtains and dancing in the faint moonlight.Why is he leaving?Why can't he keep him?What exactly does he want?And what does he want?Gu Ming buried his face in his hands, all the questions vaguely point to the same answer, he seems to know, but also seems not to know.He wants to know, but a certain corner of his heart is afraid to know.He just asked Gu Wenbin why he didn't live sincerely, so what about him?

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