love of life

Gu Ming held the photo tightly with his left hand and stretched it out in front of him, and asked angrily: "Wang Yijie, does I really look like him? I've been with you every day for the past few months, yet you still mistook me for him. Or is it that you have always regarded me as his shadow in your eyes? A substitute? Damn, if you really care about him so much, why did you beat him to the hospital? Could it be that he stole someone behind your back? " Gu Ming breathed out He revealed all the suppressed things in his heart, and finally threw the crumpled photo on Lin Zexi.

"Stop talking, I don't want to, I don't want to." Lin Zexi's voice became weaker and weaker, and finally was completely drowned in the thick nasal voice and sobbing.He lowered his head and tears dripped on the bed one by one, one of which happened to fall on the photo, and he stretched out his index finger to gently wipe away the teardrops, his movements were as gentle as holding his lover's face.

The scene in front of him stung Gu Ming's nerves, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, clenched his fists and then loosened them.

"Lin Zexi, listen up. I'll ask you one last question. In the past few months, have you seen me or him?" Gu Ming asked cleanly, with a hint of determination in his tone.

Lin Zexi raised her head and looked at him, with tears in her eyes.

"Say it." Gu Ming urged irritably.

"I don't understand." He was a little puzzled.

Gu Ming bent down and reached out to grab his lapel. The two looked at each other face to face, with a distance of no more than five centimeters. "During those days when you were cooking for me, did you see me, Gu Ming, or his shadow of Wang Yijie?"

Lin Zexi's eyes flustered for a while, and he explained: "Gu Ming, I accidentally lost my mind just now, I never regarded you as someone's stand-in, I...he...my story is over long ago, everything is like It's a matter of a previous life."

"Okay, then give me this photo." Gu Ming pointed to the photo on the bed and said.

Lin Zexi's hands trembled slightly, and he exerted a little pressure on the fingers caressing the photo.He looked up at Gu Ming without saying a word.

"Give it to me." Gu Ming emphasized again.

Lin Zexi pressed the photo with his palm, still silent.

Gu Ming took a deep breath and spat it out forcefully, "Okay, it's fine if you don't want to give it, I don't care." After Gu Ming finished speaking, he got up and walked out of the room quickly, and slammed the door heavily. It's hairy.

Lin Zexi took advantage of the situation and lay on the bed, the afterglow of the setting sun shone on the balcony. This scene was exactly the same as in the photo.In five years, things have changed and people have changed. He can no longer understand what kind of mood he used to travel here.There is only this photo left, which can prove that he was once young, that his heart was beating wildly, and that he...was a normal person.He sighed softly.The moment he came out of the prison, he told himself that the most difficult days had passed, and no matter what difficulties he faced in the future, he would no longer feel sorry for himself.The sigh just now meant a lot to him, as if it declared that all his hard work in the past half a year had been reduced to ashes.No matter how hard he tried, he was still the weak him.

Yijie, are you... all right?Are you still used to living overseas?I haven't heard from you all these years, are you still blaming me?You should be better off without me.

In a trance, Lin Zexi lay on the bed and fell asleep.

After Gu Ming slammed the door and went out, he walked along Huanhai Road for a while. The setting sun had gradually sunk into the horizon, and the light outside was getting darker and darker.There was really nowhere to go around, so he turned back to the hotel and walked into the corner bar on the first floor.As soon as he entered, he saw Yu Xiaoxiao sitting in the most conspicuous seat.He hesitated for a moment, walked to the seat next to her and sat down.

"Waiter, have a glass of whiskey with ice." Gu Ming said to the bartender.

Yu Xiaoxiao at the side heard the voice and turned to look at him, showing an intriguing smile. "I called you and you turned off the phone. I didn't expect to meet here. Do you think we are destined?" She leaned towards him as she spoke.

"Hmm." Gu Ming responded speciously, and did not refuse her throwing himself into his arms.

"Hehe, I thought you would have a bad face, but I didn't expect you to be quite interested today." Yu Xiaoxiao teased while turning the wine glass in her hand.

"Why should I have a stinky face?"

"Ask knowingly. People around you deceive you, and I don't think you can stand being deceived by others."

"Strictly speaking, it's not cheating, it's just concealment."

"Hey, Young Master Gu is so generous, the little girl admires it. Since you don't care, why don't you stay with him and come out alone?" Yu Xiaoxiao's eyes wandered, her head shook from side to side involuntarily, and she smelled of alcohol.

"Didn't I often come out alone before? It's not the first time you met me in a bar."

"Well, I can't tell you. But I don't believe that you are not curious about him at all. Did he tell you everything? If not, I am willing to tell you everything I know." Yu Xiaoxiao let go of his hand On Gu Ming's lap, whispered in his ear.

"He has told me everything I want to know." Gu Ming said nonchalantly, ignoring her teasing.

"How do you know he said everything? Tsk tsk tsk, that man is not that simple."

"Then how do I know if I'm interested in what you have to say?" Gu Ming asked back.

"Did you know? You look very similar to Wang Yijie, and he stays with you just as a substitute for him. They used to have a good relationship, very good, so good that it makes people feel sick. That's right, the two of them You're gay, I know you hate homosexuality, you and your father fell out because of this, everyone knows. Can you bear this pervert by your side? Get along with him day and night, he covets your body, maybe he's there every day Don't you feel disgusted that you were sexually obsessed in your dream?" She said with high spirits.

Gu Ming's complexion suddenly changed, not because of her words, but because he remembered that the person who had this kind of dream was himself.

"Young Master Gu, I know you are a straight man. For a person like him, you shouldn't take him in. You should let him fend for himself. He doesn't deserve sympathy. Also, you know about him in prison Is it? I heard that he was raped by many people in prison, I really didn't expect him to have the face to stay in this city."

"Okay, I'm tired." Gu Ming impatiently lifted her hand on his knee, got up and was about to leave, but she grabbed her arm and hung on him.

"Gu Ming, wait a minute, I have something to tell you, I promise you will be interested."

"I'm not interested." Gu Ming tried to break free from her hand, but was held even tighter.

"About Lin Zexi, aren't you curious about how he ended up in jail? How could such a meek character like him intentionally hurt someone? You have no doubts at all?" Gu Ming stopped his movements.

She smiled and continued: "I know everything about that year, even better than Lin Zexi herself. As long as you are willing to listen to me, I will tell you exactly what happened."

Gu Ming looked back at her and said, "Speak, I'll listen."

"It's so noisy here, let's find a quiet place to talk." After she finished speaking, she dragged him into the elevator.

Gu Ming let her drag him back to her room.She smiled and closed the door, trying to drag him to sit on the bed.He turned around and sat down on the sofa next to him. "Okay, let's talk."

Yu Xiaoxiao hung the bag on the shelf, walked to the entrance, opened the snack cabinet, took out two cans of beer, opened one and handed it to Gu Ming. "What's the hurry, it's so hot today, drink a can of beer to cool off the heat." Gu Ming glanced at the beer in her hand, didn't speak, and didn't reach out to take it. "Forget it, I'll drink if you don't want to drink." After she finished speaking, she raised her head and took a big sip. Bubbles flowed down the corner of her mouth too quickly. She wiped it casually with the back of her hand and stared at Gu Ming.

He pursed his lips and reached for the unopened can.She put the half-drunk beer on the table, went to the edge of the bed and sat face to face with him.

"Go ahead."

"Why are you in a hurry, look how beautiful the moonlight is tonight." She pointed to the lake outside the balcony and said.

"Don't tell me I'm leaving." He was about to get up and leave, but she pushed him down on the sofa again.

"Okay, okay, I said. Let's start from when we were in college. To be honest, Lin Zexi is not the kind of annoying personality. I liked him at first. He is not my type, I said It is the kind of liking in the ordinary sense. He has a gentle personality and is kind to others, but... well, he... stole my boyfriend. Wang Yijie is the one I said looks very similar to you. He and I were childhood sweethearts, we We have been together since the first year of high school, and made an appointment to take the same university. Until he met him in the university. The two of them shared the same dormitory and had a very good relationship, so I met him almost at the same time. Yijie and I often take him with me when I’m dating, and I don’t have any complaints. After all, we have been dating for three or four years, and we have long since lost the madness when we were in love. But things became more and more wrong. When I was a sophomore, I found that they were behind my back Going on a trip. At that time, Yijie told me that their photography club would go out to collect pictures. I broke up. I was so stupid at the time. We have known each other for ten years and we have been dating for five years. Without warning, he was about to break up with me. Do you know how much my heart hurt at that time? I said I hope two people Calm down and think about it, don't make a decision hastily. I didn't call him that summer, but only occasionally texted him, and he often didn't reply. I didn't know until the beginning of school. I don’t even mean to get back together. I saw the photos of him and Lin Zexi traveling on his mobile phone. I was very angry, angry that he didn’t bring me when he went out to play. I was very innocent at that time, and the word homosexuality was far from my world. Far away, I didn't think about it at all. I tried to get back together with him and found him many times, but he ignored me. Finally, he finally told me that our feelings in those years were not real. He met He finally knows what love is. The person he loves is not me, but that man. At that time, I always thought it was his excuse, until one time, I accidentally saw two people hugging and kissing , I finally realized this fact. So I can understand your disgusting attitude towards homosexuality. The two men feel disgusting when you think about it. Since then, I have really recognized Lin Zexi's true face. I don't Knowing how he hooked up with you, the motive must not be pure. You look very similar to Yijie, and he must regard you as a substitute, or just a benefactor." She talked about this past vividly, without any Nostalgia or sadness, when it comes to hatred and resentment, it is undoubtedly revealed.

"Is this what you're going to tell me? I'm not interested at all." He got up and walked towards the door.

"Don't go, just wait for me to speak slowly." She stepped forward to hold his arm.

"I'm impatient. If you don't talk about the main points, I won't accompany you." He raised his foot and was about to leave.

"Okay, let me say, don't go." She tried to keep him, but the other party was unmoved. In desperation, she said, "It's because of another man. There is another man, two men for that bitch There was a conflict between people, and that bitch injured Yi Jie in the chaos."

"Who is that person?" Gu Ming asked solemnly.

She shook her head and said, "I don't know. I broke up with him at that time, and I heard it from others. That man is not from our school. It seems that he has been involved with that bitch."

"Then what else do you know?"

"Wait for me to think about it. It's been too long, and some memories are not very clear." She tilted her head and thought while clutching him.

"Let's talk about it when you think about it. I'll go first."

"Don't go." In desperation, she grabbed his hand even tighter.

He stared at her sharply, feeling faintly that something was wrong. "Yu Xiaoxiao, what the hell are you doing?"

"No, I just feel a little lonely alone, and I just want you to accompany me." She leaned towards him as she spoke, rubbing her palm on his arm.

"I'm not interested, so I'm leaving first." He felt a little strange, and insisted on pulling her hand away, and walked out the door.She tried her best but failed to stop her, watching his back stomping non-stop.

Gu Ming stood alone in the corridor of the hotel, hesitating in his footsteps.He touched the room card in his trouser pocket, and the scene of Lin Zexi crying suddenly appeared in his mind.He moved his neck, feeling sticky and uncomfortable, and decided to go back to his room to take a shower.He leaned the room card against the door lock, and opened the lock with a beep.He vaguely heard movement in the room, he pushed open the door suddenly, and saw two figures rolling on the bed, and the quilt fell all over the floor.