[HP] Can you be gentle with me

Do not……

too much...not...too much──

too much──

Even so, she still seemed to be bewitched, allowing herself to spy endlessly on Snape's thoughts, all emotions, all memories...

She saw Snape as a child, sitting on a desk and chair, showing a small, almost imperceptible smile to the lid of the small lunch box in front of him...

Seeing him take out an iron box again and again, he murmured in disgust that it was time to throw it away, but he put the iron box back into a drawer again and again.

Seeing his conversation with the red-haired girl, he mentioned more than once that he had an influence on him that he had never thought of.

Seeing him rushing into the kitchen, under the astonished stares of her brothers, he started busy preparing food for her...

too much……

She sees too much—

Then found that she also forgot too much.

Forget how I fell in love with this awkward boy in the first place.

He also forgot how bad his life was in the past, and how desperately he tried to get rid of it.

too much……

She couldn't control herself to go deeper—including those she kept trying to forget. Her mind reflected a series of memories, and the strong emotions in those memories sometimes even made her heart twitch at the same time.

Snape hugged himself.

In one memory, he lowered his head, ignoring the others, and also ignoring Voldemort's motionless body lying down not far away, just hugging himself.

And the sadness revealed by that memory almost made Tahlia unable to breathe.

unfamiliar?

As far as memory goes, yes.

But that emotion?No.

He's been through this heartache for a long time.It should be said that this feeling accompanies her to grow up, the feeling of seeing the person she loves the most get hurt, but she is powerless...

She just never thought that Snape would show such suffocating grief because of herself.

So it's... so it's true──

Snape really—

Suddenly a blinding white light exploded in Tahlia's head, and she had to be forced out of Snape's head.

Tahlia felt her head hurting, kneeling on the ground, gasping for breath.

And the mind is still confused...

All the information seemed to be crammed into her head, too much... too uncomfortable.

She believed... did she believe it?

wrong……

She had to believe it, didn't she?

Or it should be said that she should have believed it a long time ago - but all this seemed miraculously unbelievable to her.

It was impossible for Snape to like himself from the beginning...impossible...?

...seems full of contradictions.

If what he really fell in love with was not Lily but himself, then how could... how could he always speak ill of himself──

How can you act like an idiot...

It's all too unbelievable to blame yourself for never being able to really give credit, can you?

"Sev...Severus..."

To her surprise, no one answered her call.

But Snape should have said something, shouldn't he?Considering that he had only allowed himself to infatuate him earlier, it was impossible for him to remain silent after all.

"Severus?" Tahlia called softly again.

Still no response.

Tahlia had to give up the idea of ​​leaving the hospital wing directly to avoid Snape, and moved forward slowly, feeling too disturbed by the man's silent lack of response.

"Severus?" she called again.

Tahlia suddenly became frightened, and even the hands that continued to move forward tentatively trembled. "Severus?"

Still haven't gotten any response from the man.

What Tahlia doesn't know is that it's not that he doesn't want to, it's that he can't.

"Severus..."

again.

Tahlia took a few steps forward unconsciously, and then touched something with her front foot.

"Severus!"

Before she could stop herself, an exclamation came out of her mouth, and she knelt on the ground at the same time, firmly supporting the trembling man who couldn't even make a sound with both hands.

what did she do...

Familiar fear came over me again.

There was darkness in front of her eyes, and Tahlia always thought that she was completely used to the days without light, but as soon as this happened... the suffocating sense of powerlessness would bind her tightly.

She can't see anything... what on earth did she do...?

"kill me."

What?

It was Snape's voice, trying to hold back the sound of something.

But Tahlia couldn't understand what he said, not a single word.

"kill me."

Tahlia was completely dazed.

"You're... what are you talking about—"

Snape popped off the ground suddenly, grabbing Tahlia's arm that still held his wand. "Kill me," he said again.

"I don't—"

"You're in pain." Snape cut her off, his voice still sounding subdued. "Because I—"

Tahlia wanted to say nothing, she shouldn't have contradicted him, but by the time she found out, a sentence had already escaped her mouth. "Not you."

That's right...

Indeed not him.

It is always me who is always struggling.

It was the day when she was always unwilling to believe that Snape would change, and it was also the day when she always wanted to stop falling into any relationship, always confining herself within the high wall that was imperceptibly expelled, and not allowing anyone to get close, of course, And no... help from anyone is allowed.

Considering what happened to Derek afterward, she knew she was doing the right thing.

...really right?

Then why was she still unable to restrain herself from using insanity on Snape just because of a few words?Doesn't it show that she still has hope in Snape?

especially……

"kill me."

Do not……

Tahlia shook her head blankly.

Especially now that she suddenly becomes unable to force herself to be ruthless as before—

"I can't..." she murmured. "You know I can't, Severus."

No matter how much she wants to stay away from herself and not to believe in herself──

The final result is always failure.

She would never... never be able to actually do anything to hurt Snape, and she would never be able to control her desire to be near a man.

"Don't force me." Tahlia said softly, closed her eyes, opened them for a while, slowly straightened up, and stretched out a hand. "I'll never kill you, you know." Then he squeezed slightly after Snape grabbed him, allowing him to use his strength to stand up.

She knew he was still trembling, and she could tell it easily from the trembling in his hands.

"Are you ok?"

"Not good." Snape hoarse.

He felt that his brain was all twisted together, as if he had been run over by something, it was definitely not a comfortable feeling, in fact, he would not be surprised if he suddenly passed out due to the pain.

The only reason he didn't let himself go straight down was because he had to know how Tahlia would react...

It wasn't just the nonsense that he lost control in the severe pain just now, but the question he planned to ask now, at this moment.

But no matter what it was, he didn't have time to ask it out.

Because in the next second, his thoughts came true just now, he had just opened his mouth, and he hadn't made any sound yet. The last thing that flashed before his eyes was Tahlia's frightened expression when he saw that he suddenly lost his support and fell down.

Then there is total darkness.

"Severus..."

Tahlia panicked.

And helpless.

She had thought she would never feel those emotions again, but no.

She panicked uncontrollably when Snape suddenly let go of her hand, obviously still thinking about what to say but ended up saying nothing and just fell back to the ground.

This is not what she expected, not at all.

"Oh, Merlin! What happened?"

Tahlia turned her head in the direction of the sound in a daze.

She knew it was Pomfrey, but she didn't know how to respond...

She just stood where she was, as Pomfrey hurriedly put Snape back on the bed and began to examine her, she just stood there.

The only thing she can do is do nothing.

Who let her personally cause this result...

She clearly knew that Snape's state was not right, sometimes it seemed normal, at least he sounded natural when he tried to cast a spell on him, but most of the time he was too emotional... Whatever the potion was that blew up in class, it was clearly not some common liquid that had no effect at all, and she did it this way...before the effect of the potion on Snape could be determined at all. Obsessing over him when he was in a state of turmoil... that's not the worst part──

She knew that she had read too much, she was too deep, even when she was learning Occlumency, the instructor who taught her didn't invade the other person's mind as mercilessly as she does now──she just... just Just can't stop.

Come to think of it, the last force that forced her out of Snape's head was the last line of defense for his body's instincts, if she just let herself go on like this...

...she couldn't imagine it at all.

No matter what, it was all caused by her own hands...

always she──

When Pomfrey finally got busy and the treatment was over for a long time, he turned around and realized that the woman who had been standing in a daze had disappeared.

"Tahlia?"

Although he had guessed most of it in his heart, Pomfrey still tried to shout.Of course, no surprise there was no response.

"Poppy?"

No, maybe she was wrong, and she did get a response, just not from the person she thought it would be.

Turning back and lowering his head, he met a pair of dark and deep eyes. Although he was a little dazed because he just opened them, the man's expression seemed to understand everything in an instant. Before he had any response, the next second, Snape He sat up from the bed, so fast that Pomfrey couldn't react at all.

"She's gone, isn't she?" Snape asked briefly.

Pomfrey knew she should calm the man down and let him rest, but she couldn't.

All she could do was nodded slowly, and couldn't utter a single word to stop Snape from leaving the hospital wing as he stood up and staggered to leave the hospital wing.

And he did leave, the door leading to the corridor was opened and closed while she was in a daze, and then the medical wing returned to calm, as if nothing had happened just now.

But that's hypnotizing yourself.

Pomfrey sighed heavily, put the empty medicine bottle in his hand on the table, and forgot to glance towards the door.

decide...?

The child said she would always make a decision.

At this moment, Pomfrey only hoped that her determination was true, that she could truly end all of this, whether it was giving up or giving it a go, it was better than continuing to procrastinate, they should have a result.