Are you there?brat

I was so panicked that I couldn't hold my phone steady.

With mixed feelings, I quickly knelt down to pick up the phone, and then said incoherently: "I, I... I just... You just..."

I don't know what I want to say, my mind is like being bombarded by thunder.

He said he can stop taking medicine...

I can stop taking medicine...

It's really possible...to stop taking medicine.

He has been there to comfort me, calling my brother.

I held my nose and held back for a long time.Put the mobile phone on the bed, press the hands-free button to pretend to be relaxed: "Oh, just now... I have something at hand just now, I didn't clarify with you. Can you really stop taking medicine? Don't force yourself, the last time I It's sad to see you hugging the pillow when you sleep..."

I babbled on and didn't know what I was talking about. He kept answering, and finally said that he was a little sleepy, so he hung up first.

After saying goodnight, I looked up and saw in the mirror that I was already crying. Tears were worthless, but I couldn't show a little bit of fragility and collapse in front of him.

My brother can stop taking medicine.

I should be happy... I should go buy a train ticket now, kill him in front of him, hug him and have crazy sex with him.

Let him know how unbridled and ecstatic I am.

Looking at the mobile phone, it has been used for so long, and its lifespan is approaching.

I took a tissue and wiped my face, stood up and walked to the door to look at the cat's eyes, feeling suspicious.

I thought he was at my door, talking these words to me.

Several times the doctor deliberately dismissed him and asked me about my condition.I was at a loss: "I'm fine, what's wrong?"

He said that my dark circles are very heavy, and my mental stress may not be much better than that of my brother. Is he often worried?

I shook my head: "No, it's just that I'm very busy with work, and sometimes I feel a little guilty for him."

Yes, guilt.

I was not close enough to accompany him in basic necessities of life. Through phone calls and videos, I conveyed my thoughts on him.

The doctor said that if this condition persists for a longer period of time, I may also be sent over for a systematic test.

I know what he means.

Many family members of mentally ill patients have more or less suffered from similar illnesses.

In other words, loneliness is contagious.

I stood in the bathroom and took a deep breath into the shower.

Then, in this winter season that is approaching, I took a heart-cooling cold shower.

After taking a shower, I shook my head, wrapped a towel around and walked out.

Then I called my mom.

She may still be shopping at the night market with her sisters, the voice is very noisy, asking me what I am doing in a loud voice, don't disturb her.

I sniffled: "Can you accompany me for a minute now."

She was taken aback: "What's the matter with you? If you want someone to accompany you, find your little boyfriend."

I lowered my head and tried to stay calm: "I can't tell him."

She was still a little shocked: "Fuck, you don't want to tell me that you are going to cheat, do you? Our old Qi's family is as solid as a rock! Your father's Lao Yue's family even wrote cheating and derailment into the family tree! If you find out, you will directly Soaked in a pig cage! Think more clearly!"

My voice may be too calm: "It's not those things, can you hear it?"

She may have greeted her sisters, took two steps outside, and suddenly her voice became much softer, it seemed that she had arrived in an environment without many people.

I clenched my fist: "Mom, my brother..."

I suppressed my emotions there: "My brother, he can stop taking medicine."

She screamed several times in fright: "You... didn't you tell me to fight a protracted war before! It's only been a few months! You... Xiao Shou will be fine?! You won't force him! Think Be clear!"

Of course I know her reaction. After hearing the news, I feel more ups and downs than hers.

I was calm at the beginning: "I didn't force him. We all came here according to the doctor's orders. We cut off one-third of the sedatives in the first month and two-thirds in the second month." ……but……"

The more I talk about it, the more I can't hold back the overwhelming feeling in my chest: "But he told me today that he tried not to take sedatives for a day, and he felt the same reaction as before...I...I don't know what to do. He will I won't stop taking the medicine too quickly...I would rather he slow down...slowly and don't rush to reduce the medicine...I will go back in two days...I will go back right away...I will...I will..."

In the end, I couldn't tell what I had to do. When I was crying and the cold water was pouring down, my heart was so calm that I couldn't extricate myself.

I remembered what the doctor said, maybe I'm going crazy too.

Sitting slumped on the bed, I wiped away the tears after crying: "Mom, I lost my composure."

"Fuck your ass!" She scolded me angrily, "You're fucking showing off in front of me! Showing off you..."

She stopped talking.

I made a smile: "What's the matter, don't scold me."

Maybe she was thinking about my dad.

If my dad's medicine at that time could bring him back from the gate of hell, maybe my mother wouldn't be in the mourning hall, crying for three days in a row.

"You're really cheap! You're just looking for scolding! Bah, bah, bah!"

After she finished talking, she hung up the phone.

Yes, I'm really mean too.

I lay down on the bed, afraid that what happened was just a dream.