Heartbreaker

——I'm afraid this world is not as good as I imagined.

I remember how shocked I was when I heard my brother say this sentence. It was an understatement of the truth, but I just felt scared, as if the sky was falling.

After my brother lost those two bright eyes, I noticed that he had changed, not only dull in action, but more like a kind of decay from the heart.I have had some damn luck since I was a child. My brother's eyeball was shattered, but he was accidentally spotted by another powerful master, and he often asked him to go to his summer estate.

So my leg was lucky to escape.

But in my opinion, that's a great thing.If you think about it, you can get back so many gold coins and gifts just by doing some casual things like walking the dog and chatting every day.I would like to go, but the elder doesn't care about me, he just likes my brother.My brother is beautiful and gentle, and no one doesn't like him.

At first, my elder brother was fine when he came back from the Grand Master’s manor, he just chatted with me and my mother about trivial matters.He can bring back some exquisite and delicious snacks every time, so I look forward to seeing my brother get off the carriage every evening, and then help him go home together.

Thinking about it now, I was probably the only one laughing foolishly during that time.Feilin was taken away by a group of people who said they would take her to other relatives.On the day Feilin left, the blind elder brother groped for the branches and struggled forward, and finally bowed his head and sobbed in the sound of the carriage.The elder brother who lost Feilin became more and more taciturn. He occasionally sat in the yard and stretched his hands in the air, but in the end he just put them down silently and hugged himself tightly.

At that time I guess he was not happy in the Grand Lord's estate, did someone bully him?Did someone laugh at him?Until one day, my brother stepped out of the carriage and suddenly fell to the ground, splashing mud all over his body.I went to help him, but he screamed and threw me away, ran a few steps into the dark night, fell down in the mud again, and sobbed.He couldn't shed tears, but the sound of whimpering was more terrifying than anyone else, as if his heart had been torn apart.

I was terrified by him and started to cry.We cried together for a long time before my brother stopped his voice, got up unsteadily, and continued to walk forward with staggering steps.

Like the walking dead.

That night I fell into a drowsy sleep when I suddenly heard my mother's beating and my stepfather's yelling.When I ran barefoot into the other room, my doggy stepfather was slapping my brother to the ground.I ran over, bit my stepfather's hand, and helped my convulsed brother back to the bed.

I remember my brother said hoarsely, "Jeremy...can you please get me a bucket of hot water, okay...I want to wash...wash..."

I nodded abruptly, ran to the warehouse to take out the only wooden barrel in the house, filled it with enough warm water, and watched my brother slowly lie in it with trepidation, like lying in a dead coffin.

At first my brother leaned his head on the side of the bucket, I dozed off, and when I opened my eyes again, I found that my brother was gone!I yelled loudly and jumped to the side of the barrel to see my brother sank to the bottom of the barrel, motionless, as if he was dead.I cried, helped my limp brother up, hugged his wet body and wept bitterly.

Then, my brother suddenly had a voice, although the dry voice was like a puppet's dream, "Live... live..."

I didn't understand what he was talking about.

The next day, my stepfather and mother sent my brother to the carriage in person.The stepfather grabbed his brother by the collar, and his brother looked ashen, haggard and thin, looking like a gray bird with bruises all over his body.A night of hard work changed his back from a gentle boy to a dull old man.This terrible and strange day lasted for three days, and then the servant of the great master came to my house, discussed with my stepfather and mother about buying my brother, and paid a generous deposit.

Then, early in the morning of the fourth day, my brother ran away.

****

"Where are people?!" shouted those master's lackeys with swords.

Then came my mother's pleading voice, "Oh, my lords, my son is naughty and he has gone somewhere! We will find him, please give me a few more days!"

"Naughty? Shouldn't you run away?!"

"No, no!"

My mother begged on her knees in front of the running dogs, and those people didn't believe her, so they sent several people into the house to search.These well-trained lackeys smashed the mattress pillow covers, smashed our water tanks and barrels, and finally found the note left by my brother in a clay pot.They took one quick look before they flew into a rage, yelled, and nearly knocked our roof off.

"Damn motherfucker! Look at what your good son wrote?! That brat ran away! Take a good look!"

My mother didn't know a few words at all, but she was too scared to refuse. She could only hold up the piece of paper tremblingly, her eyes popping out like she was going to faint.Under the watchful eyes of those lackeys, she broke down and cried again, saying nothing more than "please forgive me" and "we will find him".

I thought Mom was talking nonsense, and apparently the lackeys thought so too, so they beat up Mom and me.The two of us, mother and child, hugged each other and cried loudly, which upset the lackeys and used heavier fists to shut us up.

I cried and called my brother, not because of anything else, probably because of habit.But my brother didn't come back, my asshole stepfather came back.He'd just gone out and had a good time with that money and got very drunk.As soon as he stepped into the door, he saw the miserable situation of my mother and me, and immediately jumped up and cursed, swinging the wine bottle and trying to beat the dog away.

That was the moment when I felt he was the most like my father, and then a sword was stuck in his chest, and blood stained the skirt of his clothes.The stepfather fell to the ground, his bloodshot eyes stared like a dog, but he couldn't bark like a dog.He died so silently, weaker than a doll.

The lackeys pulled out the blood blade from his stepfather's chest and kicked his corpse several times.A human life suddenly disappeared in front of our eyes without any foreshadowing or hesitation. My mother and I were completely terrified.

The running dogs left the stepfather's body in the courtyard and walked out of the gate one after another.The last person to leave pointed to his dead stepfather and said to my mother and me, "Three days. We won't see that boy named Luo in three days, so you go and stay with this dog."

I found my brother, I was a little bit lucky, I always knew it.What's more, my brother is blind, he can't escape far.When I saw my brother, he was shivering under a tree, as if he had a fever from the morning dew.But I didn't pay attention to his pale complexion and hot body. I just pulled him up from the ground and opened my mouth to cry as if I had encountered an unparalleled misfortune.

"You killed Dad! You killed him!"

He returned home in a daze amidst my roaring, and I let him touch his stepfather's cold body, crying and let his hand reach into the bloody hole in his stepfather's chest, feeling the sticky blood clot and lifeless corpse Meat.As soon as he realized the situation, he was stunned. He was shivering with a high fever before, but now he was as quiet as a stone.My mother and I were crying and screaming, while my brother knelt in front of his stepfather's body and didn't say a word for a long time, as if he had lost all his strength, as if the sword stabbed him instead of someone else.

****

After all, the elder brother did not escape from this home.

The night before the appointment with the lackey, my brother walked out of the house again, followed by me.My mother asked me to keep an eye on my brother. I found that there was a trace of guilt in her eyes, but it was quickly covered up by her tragic fate of becoming a widow again.

I don't think there is any need for my mother to worry, because I believe that my brother will not be indifferent.When I thought about the faces of those lackeys, I realized what kind of abuse my brother might have suffered in the manor that made him so depressed.

why?Shouldn't the old man like his brother very much?

I walked behind my brother, feeling sad for the first time that we are really weak and hateful.

We are sorry brother.

"It's right here..." My brother picked out a fairly dry grass, and said softly, "I want to see the stars..."

Without thinking about it, I blurted out, "Aren't you blind?"

These words seemed to hit my brother on the head with a hammer. I saw his body shake a few times, and then he sat down on the ground slumped.I sat next to him nervously, paying attention to my brother's every move, afraid that he would run away suddenly, and my mother and I would become two bloody mummies tomorrow.

But my brother didn't run away, just sat quietly under the bright starry sky, silent.The stars that night were very bright and dense, like a long river of radiance, and the sky was also very quiet. If I was not worried, I am afraid I would appreciate this rare view.

And the blind brother hugged his knees like this, looked up at the bright starry sky for a long time, and then said, "I'm afraid this world is not as good as I imagined."

I was stunned, and suddenly felt that the sky was full of stars.Under the night sky, my brother's two dark eye holes looked mysterious and unpredictable.He hugged his knees and said without any fluctuations in his voice, "Why? Why do you want to live? I thought that listening to the proverbs in the scriptures would make me persevere, but the voice of that venerable priest was cut off by the Grim Reaper. I thought I'd be able to hold on seeing the light of dawn, but now it's fading into blackness like an abyss. I thought I'd be able to hold on feeling the warmth of the sun, but now I'm covered in filth. I thought fleeing would be The only way to redemption, but I only touched the body parts of others..."

"Why? God, can you tell me? I can't hear your answer, and I can't feel your touch. Do you think I'm dirty, I don't deserve it, and I deserve to suffer in this world What about the pain? Why me? You said that violence solves nothing, and I follow it, only to end up with more pain. Is this really the world you created? If it's a dream, then Let me wake up. If this world is false, can I escape from here and reach the real pure land, even if I pay the price of my life?"

"Can you answer me?..."

The elder brother suddenly knelt down on both knees and prostrated himself to the sky for a long time, just like those religious followers who have become obsessed.I was startled by his abnormal behavior and burst into tears, but my brother didn't seem to hear it, and just asked persistently, "Please answer me...why, why..."

I heard him sobbing, "Why... you want to deprive me of all the love and beauty that belong to me... I was born as a human being, I can't see, I have nothing but pain, I can't feel anything..."

****

After that, I haven't seen my brother for a long time.The words he said the night before he left were firmly rooted in my mind, and I can't forget them, like some deep-seated fear.The world sucks. I lost my father when I was two and got seriously ill. I don't see any good at all.But my brother is willing to believe in those illusory things, and then watch those transparent and crystal soap bubbles being shattered by reality, and then persistently look for the next soap bubble.

For some reason, when I see my elder brother who is trying to find beauty, I have the illusion of seeing beauty itself, even though it is extremely stupid in the eyes of many people.

In the next ten years, my mother and I experienced many things, including war, hunger, plague, and the collapse of the Wanjiang Empire.And whenever I can't hold on, I think of my brother, wondering where he is, what he is doing, and whether he is still chasing those soap bubbles.

Those stupid bubbles supported me until I was 16 years old, and then in Vulture City, I met him again, and the current King Sol-His Majesty is probably my brother's lover.Unbelievable, the brother and the young king, the entanglement is unimaginable.Especially when King Saul and some cripples broke into my house, stared at my legs and eyes, and frightened me viciously.I was amazed by my brother's familiarity with these eccentrics, and even more shocked by his intimacy with the king—after all, the king opened my brother's body expertly in bed, as if they had done it many times.

——Lemon, please, today I don't want to...

——I haven't seen you for a long time, don't refuse me, Luo...

The elder brother refused at first, but King Sol bit his ear and said something, and they hugged each other tightly, like a pair of drowning lovers, entangled with each other and slowly sinking.Through the window, I couldn't hear exactly, but I could only slightly hear the king's hoarse and intoxicated panting, and my brother's indistinct groans.

I suddenly remembered the words that my brother muttered under the starry sky more than ten years ago.At that time, he asked God why he wanted to take away his love and beauty, so has he found it now?From my brother's every move, I could see his fascination with His Majesty, as if what he embraced was not a teenage boy, but light, love, and the warm world that was lost and found again.

How did His Majesty rekindle the flames in his brother's cold heart?

I don't understand, let alone why my brother who once left with that old carriage should be with the future king.Maybe what I don't understand is that my brother is unforgettable, and it has been like this since I was a child.Therefore, although I feel that the past story of my brother and His Majesty is very mysterious, as mysterious as a taboo, I still feel very relieved that my brother has found his "love and beauty" again.

But in my impression, the king will choose elegant and beautiful noble ladies.But maybe His Majesty is an exception, maybe he really likes my brother - I thought so, comforting myself.

However, when I met His Majesty, he said that my brother is his plaything...

****

"Oh, this thing... let's burn it..."

Writing the last word, Jeremy muttered sleepily, and finally glanced at the crooked handwriting.He tore off the last few pages, and was about to light the flame on the candle—

"Sir, it's not good, there are mobs making trouble!"

There seemed to be shouts coming from far and near outside the window, like surging water hitting the glass in waves.Jeremy twitched his fingers, and the paper slid to the ground.He rushed out the door suddenly, his vision was full of ferocious flames, and a group of fierce people bustling behind the flames.They were yellow and emaciated, and dressed in rags, but each of them held a flaming torch in their hands.The stream of flames undulated continuously with the waving of everyone's arms, like stars dragging past the night, and countless sparks burst out in the air.

A few days ago, the king's army cleared the supplies convoy of the Twilight Empire.At that time, the people in the lower city complained a lot, and there was a precedent for attacking the tax officials.When Jeremy took office as a senior tax collector, he was responsible for the management and statistics of taxes in the lower city.The young tax official was very ambitious. He secretly calculated that now the tax official in the lower city will be supervised, and in the future he will be in the upper city, and even in the royal city!Since he has the ability to stand out from the crowd of candidates for tax officials, he has the ability to make his way among a group of senior tax officials and get the aristocratic life that he and his mother dreamed of.

Therefore, he was determined to do a good job, first of all, there should be no mistakes.He strictly checked every tax payment.He knows these people in the lower city too well, he knows what they have in their homes and what they can hand in.Jeremy the tax collector is so smart that no one can fool him-he feels very proud of it and thinks he is a brilliant genius.

Who would have expected that within a few days, the situation would become so serious.

"..."

With a buzzing in his head, Jeremy froze in place, watching the mob sweeping like locusts across the border in panic, unable to do anything.The other tax officials tried to stop the mob, but were soon startled by the fierce shouts from the opposite side and fled in all directions!

"Damn tax collector, you don't let us live, everyone don't live today!"

The people in the lower city roared at the top of their voices, like a group of ferocious beasts coming out of their cages, baring their fangs and rushing towards the tax officials in cotton coats and boots.They were divided into two teams, one team was going to snatch the grain hoarded in the warehouse and had not been handed over to the king's city, and the other team was full of villains from the lower city. go!

"Sir, what should we do?!"

Jeremy flees amidst the noise and bumps into another tax official!The other party pressed his shoulder and shook anxiously. Jeremy was dazzled and almost fainted. He just stammered, "Go... go and report to the king..."

Boom boom!Before he finished speaking, the tax official in front of him suddenly collapsed to the ground, revealing a broad black face like a wild bear behind him.

"Hey, Jeremy..." The man gritted his hard teeth and said with a smirk, "You're a dog boss and come to grab our things, isn't it good..."

Jeremy screamed, turned and ran.There were torch-wielding and roaring crowds everywhere, with little escape.He looked around in shock, and instinctively ran towards the east when a few big and round villains rushed towards him.

A voice in his heart said silently: "Let everything be left to luck, lucky Jeremy." He climbed over the fence panting, but his coat was caught on the iron hook.The young tax official was very anxious, cursing angrily and trying to tear off the hem of his clothes, but the cotton clothes were too strong to be broken at all.

Jeremy was upset: Damn, I shouldn't have picked the thickest coat in the first place!

"Look, that kid is over there! He was hanging out in the casino on Black Street before, but he has become a tax collector for some reason!"

"Oh, what a bitch. Tonight we'll kill him and skin his bitch!"

Those vicious insults hit the eardrums, and Jeremy's legs gave way and he almost fell to the ground.He managed to calm down, thinking that this situation was no different from the Kingslayer's invasion of the Ten Thousand Borders Empire back then. They also needed to escape, hide, and make strides.At worst, his tax officer is wrong, and he ran to report the news in time, maybe the people above could spare his life.

"Jeremy—Jeremy—! Kid!"

Suddenly, he heard a hysterical voice, mixed with fear and crying.Jeremy paused, turned his head and saw his emaciated mother in the hazy firelight.Only then did he remember that he brought his mother out of that empty and cold room and brought him to his side.And he obviously planned to place his mother in Shangcheng District once the collected food was sent to Wangcheng in a few days.

"Jeremy!"

His mother called him heartbreakingly, staggered forward among the chaotic crowd, and stretched out her hand to him in horror and despair.He saw several people following his mother, torches dancing like angry eyes. [You damn old woman, you know how to hold me back, don't call me! ] Jeremy cursed in his heart, hesitating faster than the blink of an eye, and ran towards the woman——

"Ah!!" The woman screamed and suddenly tripped to the ground.Her skinny body was immediately trampled under the feet of the crowd, and soon there was not even a sound.

"Everyone watch out, that kid is called Jeremy, a gangster who once went to the city! He is the leader of this group of tax collectors, and he is the one who plotted against us!"

The roars of the crowd enveloped the sky and covered the sky like an iron net, and I was the writhing live fish in the middle of the net with nowhere to escape.Jeremy's froze eyes glanced at the woman's silent "body", and then at the hazy crowd rushing towards him. After comparing the two sides, he finally twisted his stiff upper body and paralyzed himself. The mother, whose life and death are unknown, fell to the ground and was left behind.

Just like when he watched his elder brother being taken to the carriage leading to the royal city, he still chose to turn around and leave.

I'm just a weak little ant who wants to live a better life.Jeremy thought, I can't save anyone, I'm lucky if I can take care of myself.

"Damn dog, don't try to run!"

The heavy stick hit his back, and Jeremy let out a cry of pain, and then his body hit the cold ground, and his flesh was scratched by the sharp stones.He curled up, holding his head tightly, and the clubs and fists rained down on his neck and the back of his head, causing blood to flow from his nostrils and mouth, and his eardrums almost ruptured.

I'm... just...

At the end of his dizzy consciousness, he seemed to see a dim and vague figure standing not far from him, looking at him with pity and sadness.The bee-like noise gradually dissipated, and Jeremy struggled to open his eyes, feeling the kick of hard-soled boots on his forehead, and the slippery blood stained his teeth and lips.

Jeremy...

He bluntly raised his bruised head in a weak arc, trying to listen to what the shadow said to him.Tears streamed from his stinging eyes, and he whimpered, calling out to the figure with what little strength he had left.

"elder brother……"

--this world……

--I am afraid……

——Not as good as I imagined...

……

Faintly, he heard that familiar voice.

--What do you think? ...

-Jeremy...

yes brother.Consciousness sinks into a colorful chaos, Jeremy thought, You're right.

It's just that I'm an even worse and incompetent little ant in this terrible world...

Immediately, his head was tilted to one side, and his consciousness was completely lost under the vicious beatings.

The author has something to say: "The luckiest good man and the luckiest villain deserve this life."

I forgot where I saw this sentence, but I think so deeply (狗头)

As for why Luo was treated so unfairly, he had to firmly believe in the scriptures and God, and choose to endure and obey, of course—in order for him to question God better in the future~==+ (Yes, Ben Tuo believes that only the most pious Only believers are qualified to question the creed)