What to Do When I Become a Koi and Fall into the Male God's Bathtub

[Offline task: face-slapping keyboard man:

Click on the website of Jinjiang Literature City provided by this game, and use the basic knowledge of the military school's network investigation course to slap the keyboard man in the face]

The games of the interstellar era don’t necessarily have to lie in the game cabin all the time. Sometimes the game will release offline tasks, which require players to turn on some permissions of the optical brain to complete the tasks under the monitoring of the game.

Xi Guican received this type of offline task.

The game cabin opened automatically, and Xi Guican opened his eyes, the raging rage in his eyes made people shudder.

He Ruge's fragility and helplessness are like a sharp weapon to win sympathy, piercing Xi Guican's heart fiercely. When Xi Guican clicked on the comment area and saw the screen full of vitriolic scolding, his anger Reached the top!

Roar--

What is "Sima"? !

do not know!

Are horses used to curse people? !

Roar--

What is a "dog-pushing author"? !

do not know!

Are dogs also used to swear? !

Roar--

Or our feline image is the best!

Although he couldn't understand anything, Xi Guican instinctively understood that this was not a good word.The hostility in the blue eyes gushed out undisguisedly, like fire surging under the ice.He stared coldly at the ID name of the "newspaper office", just like he looked at the Zerg in Star Wars.

The gaze of the dead.

He clicked on the light screen, his fingers flew like flying, and intercepted fragmentary information in the torrent of data——

Maybe it's because the game is designed to reduce the difficulty. This novel website is like a product of low-level technological civilization. Xi Guican is like entering the land of no one, stripping off the vest of that troll in minutes.

This troll posted provocative comments on various websites, insulting artists, athletes, writers, painters...

The teenage girl was violated:

Wearing so little, flirtatious

The internet celebrity posted a selfie:

Ugly, plastic surgery monster

Writers have updated:

Elementary school students writing, no culture

Even though Xi Guican knew that all of this was a fake game plot, and that the troll who insulted He Ruge was just a villain designed by the game, his heart still seemed to be clenched by a hand, and the pain nerves wrapped around his heart were constantly being twitched. The stimulation made his mental consciousness dull ache.

A hair slowly floated down from the top of his head, and after he would vomit blood when he got angry, Xi Guican finally faced the crisis of baldness.

Hair loss in human form is a very serious matter, which means that Xi Guican's prototype is almost bald except for the hair on the forehead.

Xi Guican shook off this hair indifferently, hacked into the three-dimensional communication software of the "Newspaper Office", and posted the other party's actions and evidence in full—

Despicable people hide in the virtual world, hurting innocent people for spiritual pleasure.

Then expose what it does to the public, so that it has nowhere to hide.

*

Zhang Meng is a self-proclaimed keyboard warrior. Whenever he is caught cheating or petty theft is discovered, Zhang Meng will put on a virtual network vest and use the keyboard to crackle and write passionately.

Waking up early in the morning, he clicked on the sign-in in Jinjiang Literature City, received a new moonstone, and waved the moonstone to write down the text of the author named "Ruge".Female channel writers are easy to bully, they can't lift their heads when sprayed by him, and they don't even have the strength to fight back.

Zhang Meng thought of the girl who refused his confession yesterday, so he sneered, and took this "female author" named Ruge as the bitch who refused his confession, and cursed frantically: "It's disgusting, what the hell did you write?"

After using up the moonstone, he turned off Jinjiang refreshedly, opened his scarf triumphantly, and prepared to catch a few more stars who were often hacked by netizens and abused——

After all, every time he finished a long list of curses and added a sentence of "please give me a thumbs up if you agree with me", he would get thumbs up from like-minded friends. Jin Jiang couldn't give him such a refreshing feeling.

This society is too unfair to him, a person like him could have slept with all the female stars, spending money like water to get drunk, it's all because he doesn't have a good father!

Zhang Meng snorted coldly, opened his scarf and was about to change to a trumpet dedicated to spraying people, but found that he suddenly had hundreds of unread private messages.

Could it be that he won the lottery some time ago?

Zhang Meng clicked on the comment excitedly. Before his blood boiled, he was slammed by hundreds of private messages attacking him: "You are so disgusting", "Did you eat shit with such a dirty mouth?" "You are so ugly and have the face to scold My idol, don’t take a piss and look at yourself.” “Hehe, I’m ashamed to steal something and post it.” “You want to be black and red, rubbish”……

How, how to scold him like that!Do these people have the quality!Don't you have any virtue in speaking? !In the end what happened? !

Zhang Meng was trembling with anger, and when he opened his homepage, his face turned pale.I saw a long Weibo on his homepage, which listed countless invisible things he had done over the years.

...impossible impossible, who wrote it?Who stole his number? !How did you find so much evidence? !

A terrible idea suddenly popped up in his mind. Zhang Meng’s hands trembled like a sieve, and he opened his WeChat, Penguin, and Zhihu accounts. When he saw the dense black material, he widened his eyes and passed out straight—— —

It’s over.

*

[Drip——The offline task of face-slapping keyboard man was successfully completed!Completion evaluation: excellent

Reward: Fortune divination＊1

[Note] Destiny Divination: The desire of your soul is the prophet of your destiny]

The green web pages of Jinjiang Literature City turned into spots of light and dissipated, and everything in that low-tech civilization disappeared without a trace like a flash in the pan.

A card was suspended in the air, circling around Xi Guican.

Xi Guican ignored the card, he pulled his scalp with a serious expression, and easily pulled out a small tuft of hair.

I'm... probably going bald.

Xi Guican's heart sank, he knew that the situation had reached a critical moment, and he had to take measures to save himself, even if he didn't want to use the secret recipe for hair growth given by Mao Zixie, he would have to try it now.

The secret recipe for hair growth produced by Xunyaoshu is a medicine bag.The first step of hair growth is to put the medicine pack in the bathtub, and the second step is to become a prototype and put yourself in the bathtub.

Xi Guican had always resisted taking medicinal baths before, because this medicinal bath had a side effect, it would make big cats have a feeling of constipation but could not get rid of it. The big white tiger in the bath curled up into a big shrimp.

Forget the past.

Xi Guican pinched a medicine bag with two fingers solemnly, a trace of struggle flashed in his blue eyes.With a cruel heart, he strode into the bathroom, the huge bathtub was automatically filled with water, and the medicine bag fell into the warm water with a plop, dyeing the clear water into milky white.

He stood in front of the bathtub, wearing a meticulous and neat military uniform. Apart from various uniforms, Xi Guican's wardrobe didn't have any daily clothes.He is a person who does not understand and does not know how to enjoy, and is unwilling to try new things. If there is no external force to force him, Xi Guican may hide in his safe zone for the rest of his life.

Gripping the tie with bony hands, he roughly tore open the neckline, revealing a section of the neck. The pale skin made light blue blood vessels appear. His fingers deftly unbuttoned the shirt. The jacket was thrown on the ground and he took off the military uniform. Xi Guican was extraordinarily tall and muscular, and the muscles built by killing were like rolling mountains.

He is a typical type who looks thin when he is dressed, and has flesh when he takes off his clothes. If he is wearing a military uniform, if he happens to be tortured by illness and reveals a bit of fragility, he is like a sick beauty.However, at this moment, his muscles and bones have nothing to do with being sick or weak.

Xi Guican tore off the belt expressionlessly, his inverted triangle figure appeared to have thin waist and broad shoulders. When the straight pants slipped off, a big white bald tiger three meters tall appeared in the bathroom!

The majestic roar of the tiger echoed in the bathroom. Except for the hair on the head, the big white tiger in the mirror was bald on the east and west, and there were two long and terrifying scars on the shoulder blades.

The crumpled trousers were kicked away with its hind paws, and the big white tiger stepped into the bathtub calmly and gracefully, without causing too much splash. The blue eyes, as sharp as ice, softened into a wet blue under the blur of water vapor.

Xi Guican raised his tiger paw, and tapped lightly on the bracelet on his paw——

A light screen emerged.

The optical brain is the identity of the interstellar people, and it has multiple functions such as communication, login to the star network, and payment.

Xi Guican's optical brain is the most expensive one. When he is in human form, the optical brain is in the form of a ring. When he becomes a prototype, the optical brain will become a bracelet suitable for tiger claws.With the opening of the optical brain, the task reward of the game "Your Exclusive Lover" - the fate card, also appeared again, circling around the bathing mat Guican.

Xi Guican was distracted by the transfer, so he simply used the reward directly.

The card emitted a deep purple light, and the halo enveloped Xi Guican. Ten seconds later, a cold mechanical voice sounded:

【Name: Xi Guican】

[Luck: Disasters are endless, the country is defeated and the country dies]

This is the luck of great evil, and the power of destruction is extremely strong.The fierce attack is like the Yellow River bursting its embankment, Mount Tai collapsed, the ice melted and disintegrated, and it was irresistible.Internal and external chaos, everything is in disarray, the catastrophe that breeds, life and death, evil spirits and ghosts come in groups, it is definitely not an ordinary disaster]

The big white tiger was silent for a while, then tilted his head indifferently.

This broken game... is he cursing him?

He turned off the game with one paw, and clicked into the largest live broadcast room on the federal military website, "The Second Star Wars Official Live Broadcast".

In interstellar entertainment culture, violence and beauty are on the same level.Interstellar people advocate the aesthetics of violence. During the first Star Wars, war reporters broadcast the whole process live, and the ratings hit the highest in history.

The entire live broadcast of the second Star Wars, the ratings hit a record high.Unlike the first Star Wars, which lasted just one year, the second Star Wars has been fought for three full years, and it is becoming more and more intense.

The reason why the second Star Wars lasted so long is because of the evolution of the Zerg, their force value has been weakened, but their wisdom has been improved.

The interstellar people were beaten and retreated, and the Seventeen Stars had already fallen in half. The live broadcast captured the army led by Lieutenant Snow Lion, who was besieged in the swarm of insects. The big lion piloted the mech to take the lead, and wanted to lead the army out of the encirclement with all his might. , but ended in failure.

In the silent live broadcast room, [-] million viewers remained silent at this moment, silently expressing the highest respect to the heroes.When the camera switched to the next scene of the battle, there was suddenly a lot of barrage in the silent live broadcast room:

It would be great if Major General Xi was still here... He is so strong, if he hadn't been sick three years ago, he would be promoted to marshal now with his military achievements

Xi Guican is the only one who is in charge of one husband and one man is in charge of others. He is the eternal god of war in my heart and the patron saint of the federation.

With one enemy a hundred, invincible, the day when the king returns will be the triumphant time of the Federation

The author has something to say: the desire of your soul is the prophet of your destiny. ——"Holmes Reader"

Regarding the part of the explanation of luck, the author refers to the information on the Internet

It will take a long time for He Ruge to travel through the past, please be mentally prepared, chirp~

Small Theater 1:

Xi Guican: I'm going to be bald in Yingnian

He Ruge: That's so cute

Small Theater 2:

Xi Guican: I take a hair growth bath in the bathtub, and I heard that hair will grow out after soaking

After He Ruge traveled through...

Xi Guican: I never expected that I would soak my wife in the bathtub before my hair was fully grown.