[Black Basket] The medicine cannot be stopped

Sometimes a thought is just a thin line, but it is like a spark, which can instantly stir up all the flames.

Although many depressions in my life made me miserable, I never thought about suicide.It is unfilial for me to settle my life so easily while my parents are still alive.All I want is to get back to my old self.

I thought about it day and night, maybe I was too obsessed with this matter. In the chat with Mr. Heizi, I showed too many thoughts of this kind, and he finally gave an answer hesitantly once.

Since he became a psychiatrist, he has shown a rare talent in this field, and he has often traveled around to study in recent years.When I was in Germany last year, I worked with a famous hypnotist and heard about it.

Through some means, it can help people restore memory, and even erase memory.Of course, this method is only used on some extreme patients, such as women and children who have experienced great setbacks or crimes.

Maybe it was my ecstasy after hearing it that made him scared. He soon regretted telling me such a thing, and repeatedly stated that such methods in China are not perfect and involve many things. Please think carefully.

but……

If there is no hope all the time, then of course it doesn't matter if you are muddled, even if it ends like a walking dead like this.But is this kind of life and this kind of love really fair to Akashi?

Watching former classmates posting their happy lives on various networks, I was the first to get married many years ago, but now there are very few photos of me and Akashi, even if I want to say a few words, I don’t even Feel powerless.

One day, as if I had a premonition, but also without warning, I couldn't help but speak out.

——Those two words.

Looking at his expressionless face, I felt for the first time that this matter didn't seem so difficult.

Under his questioning, I made it clear that I was not joking, nor did I have any anger or irrational emotions, but I really thought so.

At that moment, his doubts made me laugh and cry, but I felt sore in my nose.

He still has games next, and we agreed to talk about it when he comes back next time, after all, this is not a trivial matter that can be dealt with immediately.Probably after hearing some rumors, Heizi quickly found me and expressed helplessness for my decision.

He thought for a long time, then opened his mouth softly, "If I can help with what I said before... Are you willing to try again?"

I am silent.

He persuaded me again, "I just want to try this opportunity... If you think it is useful, then I believe there is still an opportunity.—At least, this is my duty as a psychiatrist to my patients. "

Everything that followed seemed like a dream.

I seemed to have had a long, long dream. In the dream, I was groggy and floating somewhere, but I suddenly woke up, and then I remembered everything in the dream.

How ridiculous.

Ten years later, I tried my best to bring myself back to ten years ago, and I also achieved all my goals, so that I and Akashi can be together happily.

But ten years ago, I always wanted to restore my memory, to recall everything from the past...

Everything is like a causal loop.

……

…………

I don't know how long I cried.

Until an umbrella hit my head.

I looked up, and the familiar figure appeared in the blurred vision. I suddenly remembered the feeling when I saw Akashi for the first time when I "traveled" back ten years later.

At that time, it was rare to see the excitement of the male god.

Now is the time to finally say goodbye.

……

I felt more and more tears, but that gaze made me nowhere to hide. I couldn't help standing up, and knocked down the umbrella with a wave of my hand.If it rains, you won't see how ugly I cry.

"I've already thought about divorce, why are you still crying?"

He didn't go to pick up the umbrella, but just stood there and asked me calmly.

I have no way to answer him.

"If you still like me and love me, why do you want a divorce?"

"If there is still reluctance in your heart, why do you want to divorce?"

……

These questions, I can not answer a word, and can not answer.

I wept wantonly, as if I couldn't vent my emotions otherwise.

After a long time, he still let out a low sigh.

"What exactly do you want, can you tell me?" He took a step forward, slowly embraced my head, and hugged me in the posture of a protector.

I feel a familiar embrace, a familiar smell, and a familiar voice.

There is also a feeling of familiarity.

"...Because of me, I hate seeing you cry the most."

The last time you cried, tell me you were insecure and that's why I proposed to you.At least that legal statement is enough to let you know what I mean.

But this time your crying told me that you want a divorce.

Akashi couldn't help but hugged the person in his arms tightly, "I'm sorry, I can't do it..."

After a few months of delay, the result is still the same, he can't accept it, and he won't accept it.

At that moment, I wasn't sure what I heard, but I still couldn't help the ripples in my heart.

"...for, why..."

I asked sobbingly, I couldn't see his expression, which was good, because in this way, Akashi couldn't see the expectant expression on my face either.

I am afraid that after looking forward to it, it will be a deeper disappointment.

"What do you want to hear?"

His voice is very nice, it has always been nice, but there has never been a moment when it is more beautiful than now.

"I like you, I love you, I care about you, I care about you, I need you... Whichever one you want to hear, as long as you want, I can tell you.

—As long as you are willing to spend the next time, tell me what you want to hear. "