Hidden Words

When he got home, Gu Kai found that his clothes were almost stained with blood.Although he had some cuts on his body, he knew that most of these bloodstains were stained by Xu Wenxiu.

What a jerk he was, for hitting Xu Wenxiu who was already covered in injuries so hard.

Sure enough, people can do anything when they are pushed.

Not afraid of death.

His body is also in pain now, in addition to the wound pain, there are also many muscle pains, every step he takes, every movement will involve more subtle, tearing pains.But what's more, it's the kind of dense pain that pierces my heart.

He read some of the news, and he also thought about it differently, if he were his father, how angry he would be.But the result is no solution.

His position with his father was simply too opposite.

When his father saw the news, he probably thought more than that he was gay. His father thought more, maybe he was still rebellious as always at this age, and he could do this to rebel against his family. thing.The fact that he was gay probably came second to pissing off his dad.

Walking to the door of his mother's room unconsciously, Gu Kai hesitated for a moment, took off the ring on his hand and put it in his pocket, then opened the door and went in.

His mother was sitting by the bed, with her arms propped on the bedside table, on which was a photo of his dad, and a photo of them together.

Seeing him approaching, his fucking eyes moved, but finally his eyes fell to the ground weakly, and tears welled up in his eyes instantly.

He walked up to his mother and knelt down, took his mother's hanging hand with both hands, and looked up to see his mother.But when he saw those wrinkled and lost eyes, his heart still felt as if he had been slammed by something, and he was stuffy and painful.

"mom……"

He yelled, his voice hoarse and pitiful, and finally saw his fucking eyes move.

"You asked me why I didn't divorce your father since I was so at odds with your father. In fact, on the one hand, I felt sorry for you and Qiu Yan, and on the other hand, I was reluctant. I always believe that everything can be adjusted , but unfortunately if it does happen, there is no way to recover it.”

As his mother said, she clenched his hand tightly, and although her frowning brows did not relax, a smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, "Your father and I were married in free love. I was 28 years old at the time, and I decided After losing this person, I will be with him regardless. If I separate easily later, I am afraid that I will regret it and feel sorry for the self who was so persistent and desperate."

Listening carefully, his brows also wrinkled a little bit.He had never heard anything from any of his parents before.

"Emotion is something you can't see or touch, but it exists, and it firmly occupies a part of your heart. No matter how much we quarrel or get angry with your dad, I love him. When you were young, we We didn’t take your feelings into consideration, and were too lenient with you. We were wrong, and we all regretted it. It’s just that when you grow up, you can’t listen to our words, and we don’t know how to talk to you. Having said that, I can only watch the damage caused to you by the conflict between us deepen day by day... Later you ran away from home, we really don't blame you, Xiao Kai, what we blame is actually that we didn't take good care of you... ...can you understand?"

His mother's words had turned into crying, and tears poured out one by one and fell on his hand, like a needle poking his heart.But Gu Kai listened quietly all the time, with mixed feelings in his heart, he was so overwhelmed that he was almost suffocated but he didn't dare to let go.

"After you left, your dad has been looking for you for a long time, and the sighs at home have never stopped. He was so happy that he was crazy when he heard the news that you were playing, but he didn't dare to look for you when he was happy. You." That's what Gu Kai's mother said, her voice gradually becoming hoarse, "Later you got better and better, I said I wanted to call you and ask you to come back and have a look, but he didn't allow it, he said that you can only work hard in the past few years , It won't be too late to come back after you retire. At that time... His body has been getting worse and worse..."

"Your father...he is a tradition, and he still wants you to go home. He is for your own good, but he also knows that you won't listen, so he swallowed it all in his stomach with a muffled voice. He didn't see you a while ago He looks like he is going to really go home, but he is actually very worried... He is afraid that you will suddenly come down from a high position and be squeezed out by others, and something will happen again... He wants to talk about you, but he sees that you no longer reject the family, and he is afraid that you will get angry again Still didn’t dare to say it.”

While talking, Gu Kai saw that the sobbing had turned into bitter crying, so he quickly took a tissue to wipe her mother's tears.

His eyes are also a little itchy now, but I don't know if it's because he has cried once before, but he just can't cry.

But that's fine, his mother needs him to be strong now.

"Gu Kai...you don't know how worried he is about you, how much he cares about you...he..." Gu Kai's mother choked up and shook her head, unable to utter a complete sentence.

"Mom..." Holding his mother's hand vigorously, Gu Kai tried his best to make his voice sound normal, "Take a break first, I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay with you at home, what do you have?" You can talk to me anytime, okay?"

His mother nodded, and after recovering, he supported her and lay on the bed. Although she was still sobbing involuntarily, her mood was obviously much more stable than before.

After helping cover the quilt, Gu Kai closed the door softly and left.When passing by the door of his father's study room, he stopped for a moment, wanting to go in and have a look, but he still didn't go in.

"Gu Kai, why do you punish you, do you know?"

"Don't talk to me about how you are, it's because you are not capable enough, if you don't want me to scold you, just show me!"

"What kind of mistake is this? This is principled! Principled is absolutely not allowed!"

"Are you good at it? Let me tell you, Gu Kai, before you really overthrow me, what I say is an order! You have to obey me!"

……

Those words, those words that he hadn't heard for nearly ten years, are still clearly printed in his head at this moment.He can still clearly recall his father's tone, appearance, posture, and movements when he said these words.

It's just that every time he thinks about it, his heart hurts even more.

Unfortunately, he really left himself with irreparable regrets.It also left irreparable pain in the hearts of their whole family.

These pains and regrets will follow him through the rest of his life, leaving no room for him.

This kind of powerless frustration is really too heavy, visible but intangible, and it is impossible to even talk about saving it.

What he has done in the past, what he has achieved, all seem very light in the face of this huge pain.The life of the past ten years seems to have been completely overturned in front of this incident, but there is no way to rewrite it.

For the first time, he really understood the responsibility of the family to him, and also understood that the reason for this cruel result was actually his cowardice and taking it for granted.

In the days to come, he will be like Xu Wenxiu said, not even qualified to escape.

His safe zone has completely collapsed, from his father's accident to Xu Wenxiu scolding him to wake him up.

"let's talk."

Hearing Gu Ze's voice suddenly, Gu Kai looked up and found that Gu Ze was also in a mess. Although he was better than him in any way, it didn't match his usual appearance.

"Go and change your clothes first, I'll wait for you below." Gu Ze looked at him and said one last sentence, dragging his tired body and expression to leave.

After changing clothes and going downstairs, Gu Kai got into Gu Ze's car, and together they went to a western restaurant that Gu Ze often went to.Now it's time for dinner, but as a regular customer, the boss still found a private room for them.

After sitting down, seeing Gu Ze's unusual appearance, Gu Kai was vaguely worried.

Even when his uncle broke up with his lover, that was the most desolate time, he didn't allow himself to be a little bit embarrassed.This is the first time he has seen this look since he grew up.

It wasn't until the coffee was served that Gu Ze finally started to add two pieces of sugar to it.He stirred it with a spoon, then put it down again, without moving at all.

"In the future, I will gradually hand over the company to Qiu Yan. Qiu Yan will take control of your parents' shares, including those left to you before. If you want to come, he can prepare a place for you at any time."

After being frozen for a long time, Gu Ze finally said this sentence.

"What about you?" Gu Kai looked at Gu Ze and asked.

"I..." As if his throat was suddenly stuck, Gu Ze blurted out only one word.

Then Gu Kai saw that Gu Ze's expression gradually changed into pain, and finally propped his head on the table with his arms, and the painful breath around him was extremely depressing.

This is definitely the first time he has seen Gu Ze like this, and this may also be the first time Gu Ze has shown his vulnerability in front of others.

"I will go to Canada to live for a while, and I won't come back later... Let's talk about it." After holding back for a long time, Gu Ze finally endured the grief and finished speaking, and finally let go of the hand covering his eyes.

"What happened to him?" Gu Kai asked.They all knew who he was referring to.

Taking a deep breath to hold back tears, Gu Ze nodded lightly, "The cancer is terminal. He has never been married since he fell out with his family because of me, and now he has no one to take care of him in Canada. I have to go."

"Okay." Gu Kai also nodded lightly in agreement.I can't tell what it feels like.

What can completely defeat a person is often what he cares about the most.Gu can't let go of their family, but that doesn't mean he can let go of that person.

"Qiu Yan has done a good job in the company during this period, and I am very relieved. I will leave tomorrow." Gu Ze paused for a long time, and spoke again, this time he was much more relieved.

"Uncle, I'm sorry." Thinking of what he said before, Gu Kai suddenly felt sore.

Suddenly smiled, Gu Ze said again, "There is nothing to be sorry for. If I missed it before, I missed it. If I was cowardly, I was cowardly. There is no way to recover those times. All I do now is to seek peace of mind for myself." That's all. I was also wrong about the previous things, but now I sincerely hope that you can do better than me."

"Gu Kai, if you can find a balance between your family and Wenxiu, don't make a hasty decision because of guilt towards either party. Regrets already exist, so don't let it accumulate. It's really important It's boring. But, you must take care of your mother."

"I know." Gu Kai lowered his head silently, his eyes wandering on the wooden texture of the table.

To him, this uncle is actually more like a brother than an elder.But Gu Ze can understand him, which is really a great gift to him now.

"You remember to talk to Qiu Yan later. He is still looking into the affairs of your team, so I'm leaving." After Gu Ze finished speaking, he got up and left with his clothes.

After Gu Ze left, Gu Kai also returned home.I originally wanted to make something to send to his mother, but I gave up after trying hard.I went out again to buy some food.

When he got to his mother's room, he saw Qiu Yan was also inside.

His mother was drinking porridge, and Qiu Yan prepared tissues beside him, and talked with her.Seeing him coming, the joyful expressions on the faces of the two people inside suddenly faded, which also made him feel a little uncomfortable.

Feeling uncomfortable, he still walked in and put the things he bought on the table next to him.He smiled and said, "Mom, I just went out to buy some food. I wanted to cook just now, but I didn't do it because I was afraid that you would be disgusted by my cooking."

"So just leave the mess you made in the kitchen to me." Qiu Yan said with a black face, and took the empty bowl from Gu Kai's mother's hand and put it on the table.

As soon as he came back, he saw that the kitchen was in a mess. Vegetable leaves were floating everywhere in the sink, the rice was not even poured out of water, the pot was not covered, and the door of the refrigerator was not even closed.He thought the house had been burglarized.

"I didn't do it on purpose. I was afraid that my mother would go out and buy it first when she was in a hurry." Gu Kai smiled a little awkwardly, but seeing his mother also smiled, he suddenly felt a little more relaxed.

Gu Kai's mother was amused by the childish conversation between the two, and said, "Qiu Yan, you go out first, I want to say a few words to Xiao Kai."

Nodding his head, Qiu Yan packed his things and went out and closed the door, while Gu Kai sat by the bed.

Putting down her laugh, Gu Kai's mother's expression suddenly became serious again, but she didn't look at Gu Kai, hesitated for a while before she spoke, "Gu Kai, tell me, are you really... the one who likes men?" Kind of homosexual?"

"Yes." Gu Kai admitted honestly.Seeing the painful expression on his mother's face after hearing his answer, his heart ached.

"Then... what about Qiumu? I saw you protecting her in front of the camera, isn't that the relationship you have? Besides, didn't you have scandals with many girls before?" His mother was a little unwilling, seeing He dodged his gaze and chased after him and asked again.

After thinking about what to say, Gu Kai lowered his head and said, "Qiu Mu is an orphan. He had an older brother before, but he passed away unexpectedly. After reaching the required age, I brought her into the Nine Realms. She is actually more like my My younger sister is also like a family member. As for the others, only one of them has really dated."

"That means you still like girls?" Gu Kai's mother seemed to have been redeemed suddenly, and immediately answered Gu Kai's words.

Seeing his mother's expectant eyes, Gu Kai also hesitated.Swallowing his saliva to lubricate his itchy throat, he finally opened his mouth, "Actually... I don't know either. I only know that what I really like now... is Wenxiu."

Hearing this answer, Gu Kai's mother was actually a little frustrated. She took a drink from the cup next to her and didn't spill it.Both hands hesitated and didn't know where to put them, they just held the cup with erratic eyes.

"I thought about telling you, but I didn't expect this to happen. In fact, I didn't think I would like men until now. Whether I am gay or not is not a label for me. If you really ask, I can't give you an accurate answer either. I can only say that I like...he has always been the only one." Gu Kai said, his eye sockets were itchy.

This kind of confession is not a good feeling, as if you have not made a mistake, but you are forced by the world to admit that something that is not wrong is a mistake.

He suddenly understood the pressure and grief that Gu Ze endured when he broke up with his lover for the sake of his family.

"...Gu Kai...you, you..."

Gu Kai's mother's expression changed slightly, and she murmured to say something, but seeing Gu Kai's sad and serious expression, she didn't say anything.

"Mom...he's really good, he...I just feel that when I'm with him, I feel very stable and stable, and I feel that no matter how much suffering I have, I can overcome it. He is the strongest person I've ever met... ..." As he spoke, Gu Kai only felt itchy under his eyes, and all the grievances in his heart surged up, and his heart ached densely.

The strength in Xu Wenxiu's body was the most touching that he had ever seen.Whether it was the top-notch rhetoric when we first met eight years ago, or accompanying him to his house, accompanying him to bear the weird eyes and accusations from everyone in his family, or trying to stimulate him desperately, trying to make him The decision to wake up.

All made him extremely admired.

Like being in a hail of bullets, you know that there is always someone who will stop half the danger for you.

That's the person he can trust most.Coincidentally, he is also his favorite person.

"Mom and Dad, I'm sorry for you. I didn't handle my own affairs well, and let you bear such a big price and bear such a lot of pain. I thought about it, if I really let go of the team , all this will not happen. But there is no solution to this problem at all, because it has already happened, and no one has any way to restore it. All I can do is to try my best to make up for this matter to you and the family. impact."

Gu Kai's tone was full of the most sincere and helpless apology, "I have already had one regret, this time it has almost overwhelmed me, I don't want to have a second regret. Mom... Do you believe Me, give me some more time... ok?"

Holding his fucking hand persistently, Gu Kai's tone finally turned into a begging.He had never begged his parents for anything in such a tone, and the feeling of taking out his deepest self-esteem and pride was like committing suicide.

But he understood that if he didn't ask his mother for this matter once, he might suffer consequences more painful than death.That is endless regret, whether it is for his family or for Xu Wenxiu.

As Gu Kai took his hand and pulled it, Gu Kai's mother's expression did not loosen, but in the end she sighed and shook her head, neither denying his decision nor really expressing her approval.

Maybe it’s because she has really put on too much pressure. Gu Kai’s mother felt tired after Gu Kai finished speaking. Seeing this, Gu Kai finally said, “You go to rest first.”, and helped his mother cover the quilt Well, he gently opened the door and left.

He never thought that his mother would let go soon, this irresponsible attitude was actually a good thing for him.

Then, he took out his mobile phone and called Qiumu. Hearing the anxious but happy voice on the other end, he tried to keep his tone as calm as possible.

"Wenxiu has old wounds on his body, and he probably has a lot of new wounds filled in today. I need to trouble you to take care of him."

"I will, how are you...?" Qiu Mu over there clearly heard the tiredness in his tone, and was still very worried.

"It's okay, I'm fine." Gu Kai smiled, and hung up the phone after hearing the relieved voice on the other end.

Then he saw Qiu Yan who was sitting in the living room on the first floor, looking at him.His complexion is still not very good.

The author has something to say:

These days due to my personal reasons, the update is a bit irregular, but it will definitely be over before the tenth.

It's been a hard day these days...

Is the Chinese New Year really a reunion?

I think it's for fighting.