Otherworldly recipes

At the end of the year, when it was supposed to be the busiest period, Su Pei'er didn't feel the slightest bit. She stayed at home for more than a month. Of course, the life was longer, but procrastination caused confusion and lost what it should have been. significance.

Occasionally strolling to the street, only then did I see that the shops on the street began to list the time for the end of the year one after another, and there were also stalls along the street that were full of new year flavors, Su Peier took a slow shot It turns out that this year is coming to an end.

Nowadays, people are used to having fun, and they don't care about the festival itself. At most, they use the festival as an excuse, so the taste of the year is getting weaker every year. No one will fanatically look forward to the New Year, maybe there are, as long as Lives in the memories of children and old people.

For many adults, Chinese New Year is just a one-week holiday. After the Spring Festival, they should be busy with the next year's work. Many people are like donkeys pulling a stone mill. They don't have time to leave until they can't exert their last strength.

Su Peier sent her mother back to her hometown very early, and immediately set about arranging her mother to an appropriate place almost as soon as the news came out. Su Peier knew that she and she would never really get along well, so soon Let go of the co-existence thing.

Mother Su didn't have too much dissatisfaction with this. She once looked back at her daughter, and Su Peier avoided closing her eyes. They were all sitting in the car, bumping and driving towards their hometown, but the silence seemed to a stranger.

When Su Peier sent her back to her hometown, she thought about many things. She remembered that when she was a child, she looked at the blades of the electric fan. Her family still lived in a room separated by a partition. She and her mother's clothes They are all piled up and hung beside the bed, and those thin threads are filled with everything about Su Peier.

The place they live in is only a dozen or so square meters, and the toilet and kitchen are shared. At that time, her mother worked two jobs. There was no day and night, and Su Peier stayed here alone. This square inch is In her world, Hong Kong movies are played on the old TV. I don’t know how many hands have been turned around. Snowflakes often appear on the screen and make noises.

When I was young, I watched all kinds of charming actresses, and never thought that I would be on the silver screen one day. Su Peier just watched the world that the outside world had never touched through this small TV, and fantasized that one day she could leave.

Once the fan hanging above her head fell down and almost hit Su Pei'er's head. Her leg was cut, bleeding profusely, and she had a few stitches in the hospital. Since then, she never dared to look directly at her. fan blades.

When the car arrived at the destination, Su Pei'er's face was covered tightly. She helped her mother to the newly bought house, and after explaining a few words, she was about to leave. Su's mother called her Pepe a few times. become particularly complicated.

Mother Su never called her Pepe, only her father who passed away early.

The man who almost lost his face.

She arranged for someone to take care of her mother, and used a lot of spare Su Peier to go back and forth between the two places. Finally, Su's mother's mood improved a lot. She signed up for the University for the Elderly, danced in the square with a group of peers, and left the busy city. With the cold hospital, Su's mother has found her own life again.

She also stopped clamoring for Su Pei'er to go home, as if all she wanted was a companion.

Su Peier should have felt relaxed about this, but after thinking about it, she felt extremely ironic. The building she lives in now is on the 32nd floor. Every time she looks at the city outside the window from the floor-to-ceiling windows, she will feel a little tired. The accumulated pressure was like an invisible spider's thread tightly binding her limbs.

For a moment, she thought about the so-called life.

Life seems to be busy just to survive. Now she has enough money to live the life she wants, but Su Peier has never been really happy. She tried hard to recall her life of more than 20 years, but there was no moment of happiness .

Her happiness is always acting, the upturned lips that day seem to be born to lie for her, and the affectionate style in Su Peier's eyes is just a natural good face.

Living in this world is a journey. She thinks that she is half an actor, and there are works left here, which are like the traces of living, but such traces are like gossamer. Will forget again.

Su Pei'er began to envy some seniors, those who were beautiful in life are also memorable after death.

Her mood always turns in an inexplicable place. When she is busy, she doesn't care about it. When she is not busy, she has a lot of time to reflect on everything about herself. Su Peier has to admit that she is a cowardly and incompetent person , she is not as good as many seniors, and she can't control her own life.

Life oppressed her spine, and she seemed to be living as she wished, but this was not a happy thing after all. Su Peier knew that she was sick, but she was reluctant to see a doctor.

Thinking of this, Su Pei'er closed the window, not daring to look down at the busy traffic below from upstairs.

Su Pei'er has not come back for a long time. This scandal is not to the point of killing her. After all, too many stars who have taken/drug violations can return to the stage. Everyone thinks so, thinking that she just lacks an opportunity, but only Su Pei'er knew that she had suddenly entered a period of fatigue.

From the most difficult first month, she smoked all the time, and the cigarette butts even filled the ashtray, she quit smoking in the second month, and started smoking again in the third month, and the cycle began to repeat, and the whole person became more emaciated. She taped up the curtains in her home with black tape to keep out any light.

The portal of the small restaurant stayed in Su Peier's living room for a long time. She hesitated in front of the door, but did not choose to go in for a long time. Perhaps the light behind the door was too dazzling, which made Su Peier feel that it was another world.

The reason for choosing to go in is also simple. One day Su Pei'er felt that she was going to die.

She couldn't stop her wild thoughts, and even broke down crying in the middle of the night. She couldn't find the reason, and she shed empty tears until she thought of suicide in a daze.

So the remaining rationality came into play. Su Peier took a shower and changed clothes. The mirror at home was smashed by herself, so she could only look at herself through the mirror that was broken into spider web patterns.

I look too old.

Speaking of it, people themselves are like this. When they reach a certain age, they will show the traces of the years, even if they resist. Su Peier has fine lines at the corners of her eyes because she likes to laugh. These fine lines can be seen clearly under the light. occluded reality.

The actresses who appear in the eyes of everyone now are beautiful, not because of their natural beauty, but because they forcibly use other things in exchange for time to stay on their bodies.

Su Peier also had injections on the bridge of her nose. In order to make her nose more straight, she had her breasts augmented. Now there is still a faint scar hidden on the skin, but only she knows about these scars. The operation is actually not painful , at least within her tolerance.

She picked up her loose cuffs and took a look at herself. From the arms, there were blood clots. The blood cuffs were not deep and looked messy. They were buttoned by herself, and they were simply scratches from fingernails.

Su Pei'er has always hated this kind of self-mutilation, she never thought that she would be able to have what she is today.

Right now, Lin Huaimeng wiped Su Pei'er's arm with a cotton swab. She carefully wiped the bloody wound and asked, "Does it hurt?"

Su Pei'er was slow for a while before shaking her head. She didn't feel any pain at all, and she couldn't even feel the slight tingling sensation. Why did she self-mutilate? Maybe she just wanted to stimulate the remaining desire to survive under the pain.

Whenever nicotine can't lift her spirits, Su Pei'er will try to do something else. She is very depraved in her own small world, and she can't even tell the right or wrong of this matter.

The rumors and gossips from the outside world are still there. Su Peier will occasionally search for her related content as if looking for abuse. She will put the phone in her hand when she sees every vicious sentence appearing in front of her eyes. Reflect on your own life.

In just a few months, she didn't know how many times she thought about it. These repeated thoughts are meaningless. Life cannot be overturned and restarted, and her pain at this moment will not disappear. The more she thinks, the more she cannot go come out.

Lin Huaimeng sensed something was wrong with the other party. After drinking two cups of warm water, Su Pei'er still said something, which was not easy.

This is what she said with a lot of effort. From Lin Huaimeng's point of view, Su Pei'er was about to cry. Her drooping eyelids covered most of her emotions, but she could still feel her uneasiness. She held the cup , the fingers trembled slightly, and the water inside kept shaking.

The owner asked worriedly, "Are you okay?"

"I am not so good."

Su Pei'er hesitated to show her arm to Lin Huaimeng, with a wry smile on the corner of her mouth, she was anxious like a child who made a mistake, her eyes looked around, but she vaguely landed on the floor.

"I seem to be sick."

This is how Su Peier described herself. Her voice was so soft that Lin Huaimeng almost thought she had just heard it wrong.

Lin Huaimeng was surprised before, but at the same time, she began to rummage through boxes and cabinets to find the medical kit, and began to use her knowledge from Baidu to deal with Su Peier's trauma. When she stretched out her hand, Lin Huaimeng noticed that Su Peier's nails It was also bald by being bitten, even a little too much.

With such nails, how could they scrape their arms like this?

Lin Huaimeng didn't ask, but quietly treated the wound.

Su Pei'er lowered her head, and suddenly put her head on Lin Huaimeng's body. The sudden movement scared the owner a little, but Lin Huaimeng soon calmed down.

"Are you tired?"

Su Pei'er hummed, and then she buried her head in such a heavy voice.

Lin Huaimeng felt that the other party was crying, but he didn't say it directly. He just patted her on the back and waited quietly for her to recover.

To be honest, Lin Huaimeng didn't know why Su Pei'er came here to seek help, but she didn't need to get to the bottom of it. After all, the other party had already arrived, and she couldn't push Su Pei'er away indifferently, even if the other party was just a stranger, Lin Huaimeng would not can't do it.

What's more, this is a guest who wants to bring her an album.

Su Pei'er's hands were wrapped, and there was not a piece of good flesh on either arm. They had a lot of scabs. In fact, there was no need to deal with it too much, but it just made people feel frightened.

When Lin Huaimeng asked about other places, Su Peier nodded and shook his head.

"It's okay, don't look at it."

The author has something to say: TT kisses you!I'm alive, I'm not missing