I love you and hate you, ask if you know

Brother:

Are you OK?

After many years, this is the first time I write to you, and it is also the last time.

Today's winter solstice is your birthday.

During the Winter Solstice Festival in previous years, I would make a bowl of Yangchun noodles by myself.Unfortunately, not this year.In the afternoon, Brother Guo came to tell me that he finally found a more authentic Shanghai restaurant. The lion head and braised pork are very good.I told him that I just want to eat noodles tonight.Brother Guo said with red eyes, how can there be any reason to go on the road without eating big fish and meat?Later, the teacher came in and patted him on the shoulder and said, "Today is Viper's birthday, so of course I want to eat noodles."

You see, after so many years, the teacher still remembers it!

In fact, I am really sorry for the teacher, I am sorry for Brother Guo.The comrades-in-arms and compatriots who had been born and died together, fought together, and trusted each other to the point of giving their lives, finally had to face the deception and betrayal of contrary beliefs, and could not escape the helpless ending of brotherhood.Thinking about it this way, senior brother, you are lucky not to have to make such contradictory choices.There is no need to face the anger, disappointment and heartache in the eyes of teachers and friends when shedding the last layer of disguise.

But even so, they still treated me very well and did not impose any punishment.Of course, at this stage of the war, what if they knew what I knew?Everything is a foregone conclusion.All they want is for me to sign a letter of repentance.They want to save me.And me, why don't I want to save them?But a teacher is a teacher, a lunatic in your mouth, a dead end to the end.Knowing that it is impossible to do it, it is only because of a passionate oath when I was young-loyalty.

When the teacher turned his back and asked me to choose a date, Brother Guo cried out in front of the clerk present.What's so sad about it?My wish has come true.In the end, you can leave just in time for your birthday.What's more, just a few hours ago, Commander-in-Chief Hu of the decisive battle in western Sichuan climbed into the plane and fled to Hainan.God really gave me Wang Manchun enough face, without leaving any unfinished thoughts.

I'm happy, really.

Seeking benevolence and gaining benevolence, isn't it also a pleasure?

So I originally didn't want to leave any suicide note for my mother-in-law.But the teacher just sent his best pen.Brother Guo persuaded me with tears that I should write something.Don't take away all the words you bury in your heart.Speak up!

Say it, to whom?

Ah Cheng, I said goodbye when I accepted the task of entering Sichuan.I left him a word of care and a blessing.

Brother, let me tell you secretly: Actually, I used some tricks to force the old chief to order him to stay in Shanghai instead of letting him come with me.

Oh, don't you already know?I'm married to Ash.Of course, it is only in name, for the convenience of work.We can't always be in close contact like that without saying anything.I used this to put on your ring openly and never took it off.I know, you won't blame me.But I have always been very sorry, to Ah Cheng.I always feel like I'm delaying him.Ah Cheng was brought up by you, more and more like you.Such an excellent man deserves to be accompanied by a woman who loves him deeply until he grows old.Rather than, how should I put it, guarding an unreachable phantom to face day and night together.Over the years, I have been working hard to find, match, and create opportunities for him to work with other lesbians, hoping that he will broaden his horizons.For example, Nightingale, I think they are a good match, what do you think?But he really has the same stubborn temper as your Ming family children, and there is nothing I can do about it.I think, maybe leaving forever is the only relief for him.So I don't leave anything for him anymore.What I want to say, he already knew.

As for you, senior brother, in a few months, we will be separated for a full ten years.It seems like a long time, and it seems to be just a snap of the fingers.I want to tell you so much, I don't know where to start.

ten years.

Whoever reckons that the west wind is cold alone, Xiaoxiao Huangye closes the window, meditates on the past and sets up the setting sun.

Brother Shi, I want to tell you: Actually, I know everything, from the very beginning.

When I was hijacked, the fabulous shot from the riverside, the teacher couldn't do it, and he absolutely couldn't do it by himself.He didn't even dare to think about it.

Such a difficult sniper, only one person can do it, only you.

Even if the injury is so severe that you can no longer hold the gun and pull the trigger with your own hands, from the previous planning to the final implementation of this matter, your instructor and Ah Cheng will cooperate to complete this matter.Is it right?

Given your injuries at the time, even if you wake up, it is impossible for you to still have the mind and physical strength to plan strategies like this.

Brother, don't forget, I wanted to study medicine, and I understand general medical principles.It's not normal for you to wake up so quickly after being unconscious for so long.

I tried it a few times, but you guys are impregnable, without revealing any flaws.

I wondered secretly for a long time, and finally remembered the box of injections that the devil Hiroshi Kawasaki brought last.

This is the only explanation.

Ah Cheng told you, don't hurt me a third time.

So, after the news that I was in danger woke you up from a coma, you persuaded Akita to use that damn thing, saved me with the last bit of overdrawn energy, and even gave me a grand wedding Farewell, let me live with good hope.How can I not accept your kindness?How can I not let you feel at ease, fulfill your wish?

So, I send you away with a smile, and listen to your promise to come back and marry me when you win.As long as you tell me, I will believe and I will wait.I am willing to take as long as I want.

So, after that, I didn't try to find you again.I don't want to make it difficult for Ah Cheng and the others to continue lying, but also leave myself a space to deceive myself and others.

I live and fight as usual, as I told you, take good care of Cheng and myself.

Senior brother, I don't want you to feel a little bit guilty, or feel uneasy.

do you know?On the day Japan surrendered, I took the latest flight to Hong Kong.It's funny to think about it now: I don't know where you are, so I went straight to Hong Kong without thinking, to the last place I know you walked.I put on the wedding dress I bought secretly more than ten years ago, and climbed to the top of Victoria Peak by myself.Overlooking the green mountains and blue sea, thousands of lights, fireworks, dragons and lions dance.There are carnival crowds everywhere, and the sound of firecrackers, gongs and drums is endless.I closed my eyes and imagined you coming to marry me.Heh, I was obviously wearing a western-style wedding dress, but listening to the sound of gongs and drums, my mind was full of the scene of wearing a hijab and getting on a sedan chair.Should you laugh at me again?

So, that night, I felt that I had married you as I wished in this life.

So now, I can say frankly: I have no regrets in this life, what more can I ask for?

I'm even looking forward to this day.

Brother, you don't know, the three years of civil war have been more difficult and painful for me than the previous ten years of pretending.To overthrow this most corrupt national government is the will of heaven and the people, but I betrayed my most respected and beloved teacher, and betrayed my close comrades-in-arms who had lived and died together.Driven by faith and driven by responsibility, I have no regrets for what I have done, but I cannot be ashamed.

If you were here, how would you comfort me?

You can always see everything first.Such a transparent understanding can explain the highest and most difficult truths in a simple and clear way.

Brother, I miss you.

I miss you like crazy during those sleepless nights that have become so common.

Fortunately, after tonight, there will be no more.

By the way, there is one more thing I want to tell you.After the liberation of Shanghai, I met Professor Luo who was in the university book club.He told me things from long ago—about the night you left, the meeting of the Communist International and the Shanghai Underground Party that I was going to attend, about the origin of that scar on your head.I finally, finally know the whole truth of that year, the truth that you refused to tell me until the end.

Brother, I really don't know what to say!

From childhood to adulthood, you have always been so condescending, loving me and pampering me and protecting me in your way, to the point where I couldn't even complain about you in the end!

The two times you left, you made decisions for me in such a domineering manner, and never asked me if I was willing, forcing me to be blunt, crying and crying, and still unable to accept your love!

Brother, you are too cruel!

But in the next life, I still want to be held in the palm of your hand like this and love me again.

When the time comes, I will throw myself into your arms and play my temper, so don't even think about just letting it go!

The winter solstice is the shortest day of the year.

It was still early, but it was dark all around.

Outside the window, the moon cannot be seen.

I waited for the teacher and Brother Guo to come in the dark to celebrate your birthday and see me off.

In the ears, there is the sound of rumbling artillery fire in the distance.

I have long been used to the darkness, and I don't care about dying in the darkness.

Because every day from now on, the night will be shorter and shorter.

And everything we have longed for has come.

Brother, happy birthday!

In the winter of 38, when he arrived in Rongcheng, Manchun wrote his last work.

Finish