anchors

At that time, Li Yurong never imagined that he would come back one day.

On the day he got on the plane to the United States, both his grandfather and grandmother came to see him off. The two old people supported each other and took him to the customs.Grandma held his hand tightly, her eyes swollen from crying were streaming down like rain, she begged, "Rongrong, don't leave, okay? Grandma doesn't want you, grandma only has you."

How can the heart that has been taken away by freedom be willing to stay where it is, Li Yurong comforted his grandmother: "I will come back to see you, don't worry, four years will soon..."

Lied, he lied, he had no intention of coming back.

Grandma held his hand reluctantly, and babbled about her reluctance to him.After hearing the words countless times, Li Yurong's nostalgia could no longer be aroused. He was like a precocious bird, waiting in the nest for his full-fledged wings, and then he could not wait to fly to the sky that belonged to him.

"It's time to pass the customs. I'm leaving first, grandpa and grandma. Goodbye." Li Yurong broke free from his grandma's hand, waved to them, and dragged his suitcase to the customs.

Goodbye, the former Li Yurong, he is about to leave this land where he has lived for 18 years and start a new life.

He wasn't very nostalgic, and he didn't feel much reluctance, but at the moment of passing the customs, he turned his head and saw grandma crying in his grandfather's arms, calling his name one after another.A huge sense of guilt rushed over his face. At this moment, he seemed to be a cowardly deserter, abandoning his responsibilities, and scrambling away from the battlefield.

He didn't dare to take another look, forcing himself to walk forward with his head upright and never look back.

Four years passed in a blink of an eye, and Li Yurong was busy studying and working, and only returned to China once during this period—because his grandmother was ill and suffered from Alzheimer's disease, commonly known as senile dementia.

They don't have many local relatives, only grandpa is taking care of her, and the two old people live together in this house where they have lived for decades.

In this familiar house, there are too many memories belonging to Li Yurong, lingering in the sandalwood scent of the altar.

When he was four years old, his parents divorced, his father went to England, and his mother took him back to his natal family. A year later, he died in a car accident.Grandpa and grandma got a daughter when they were old, and she was the only child, and they regarded her as the apple of their eye.After the death of her daughter, the grandmother suddenly collapsed.

When she was young, she was a educated daughter of a landlord's family. She didn't believe in religion and sneered at all religious superstitions. But when she was old and lost her daughter, she was defeated by the suffering in this world and pinned her thoughts on her daughter in her faith.She went in and out of temples, burned incense and worshiped Buddha, donated money to practice deeds, and begged the gods and Buddhas that her daughter who unfortunately died suddenly would suffer less suffering in the underworld.She eats vegetarian food and recites Buddha, and she either recites scriptures and prays to Buddha or washes her face with tears all day long. Her mental state is deteriorating. When she is sober, she loves her daughter's only son. .

The young Li Yurong grew up prematurely in the love and hatred of an old man who lost his only child. He learned to disguise his sensitive heart with indifference and rebellion, and planned to escape from this home.In the end, the plan succeeded, and he got the admission notice from his favorite university, left the land where he was born and raised him, and started a new life.

He thought he wouldn't look back.But when he saw his demented grandmother again, the long-lost sense of guilt flooded his heart again.

Suddenly, he began to doubt whether his decision was correct.

In the old bedroom, he and his grandfather accompanied his grandmother to watch the video of Li Yurong's mother's wedding. Only at this time, the already demented grandmother would smile happily and murmur: "Master, this is my teacher. "

This is his mother's name, Li Shishi.

At this moment, Li Yurong didn't know that he would bear this heavy name, together with the responsibility.

Grandpa is a reasonable old man. He held grandma's hand and said to Li Yurong: "I know you will be successful, and I hope you will be successful... Son, you can go, don't worry about your grandma, I will take care of her .As long as you come to visit us when you are free, I will be very happy."

Li Yurong's throat was suddenly blocked by a lump, he had difficulty breathing, he couldn't speak, and he didn't even dare to look into his grandfather's eyes.

Suddenly, he realized how selfish he was.

In the end, the ties of family affection did not overcome his own desire. Li Yurong finally bid farewell to his grandparents and went to the United States again to continue his studies.

"Rongrong, Rongrong!"

When passing through the customs, he heard his grandmother calling him in a trance, and he turned his head suddenly, but his grandmother was not there.

Too many strangers passed by in front of his eyes, each of them in a hurry, no one cared about the tears that suddenly fell from the eyes of that handsome young man at this moment.

She won't come again, she won't come all the way to school to see him and bring him delicious food like before.She would not send him outside the customs, just to tell him her reluctance.

Alone, he flew across the entire Pacific Ocean in heavy love and longing.

Life suddenly returned to the established track. He studied hard, worked hard part-time, and greeted his grandparents with video calls once a week. He was so busy that he had no time to think about the thoughts that were pressed in his heart.

Two years later, he graduated from university, got an offer from his favorite company, and was about to join the job when a phone call from his hometown put him on the plane back to China the next day.

His grandfather died.

&&&

Grandpa's body has always been strong, and Li Yurong always thought that he could live a long and healthy life, but he never expected that a small accident would easily take away the old man: Grandpa fell in the corridor when he was out shopping at night , The back of the head knocked up the stairs, severe intracranial hemorrhage, rescue failed and died.

When Li Yurong was sitting on the plane, he felt as if he was still in a dream. He flipped through the photos of his grandfather in his mobile phone one by one, and finally found a photo taken from the photo album - at that time, his mother had just divorced , in order to alleviate her bad mood, their family went to the amusement park, grandpa let him ride on his shoulders, grandma and mother walked on both sides of them, smiling at him with a bright smile.

That day was so beautiful, all the tragedies had not happened yet, they were all still in the world, bathing in the sunshine together.

Li Yurong burst into tears looking at the photo.

He always thinks that he still has time, that his relatives will not grow old, that the world will not change, and that he will always be a young man, but parting in the world is always so hasty, and the last casual glance may be a parting of life and death.

"Brother, do you want to wipe?" asked the young man sitting next to him.

Li Yurong sniffed, thanked in a low voice, and took the tissue.

The young man sitting next to him is an acquaintance. He talked about his experience of studying abroad in the United States. He recently completed his graduation trip around the United States and was going to return to China to make music. Li Yurong listened absently and responded, sadly The mood gradually faded in the man's voice.

When he got off the plane, Li Yurong finally took a serious look at him. He was a trendy guy with avant-garde hairstyle and fancy clothes. He looked like a punk artist.

The punk youth waved to him: "I haven't introduced myself yet, buddy, my name is Han Mai."

"Li Yurong."

"Add a wechat, do you want to go out next time?" Han Mai asked.

Li Yurong forced a smile: "No, I plan to stay in the United States, and I probably won't meet again."

He just came to take care of his grandfather's funeral, and then arranged his grandmother to a local nursing home, and he will return to the United States soon.

Han Mai nodded regretfully, but he was also very free and easy, just patted him on the shoulder before leaving, and said in a low voice: "Brother, you...sorry for you."

It turned out that he knew all about it.

Li Yurong suddenly felt regretful, he should leave his number, but that person has already gone away.

After getting off the plane, Li Yurong returned to the familiar house all the way.

Familiar stairs, familiar graffiti, familiar gates... everything is old-fashioned, but full of traces of time.

He didn't bring the key, and no one answered when he knocked on the door. The aunt in charge of taking care of his grandmother didn't know where he was, so he had to squat down and remove the flower pot at the door. Same.

The old door was pushed open, and dust flew up and down in the small living room. He stepped on the creaking old floor and came to the grandmother's bedroom.

The door was open, but the curtains were closed, and only a beam of sunlight illuminated the room through the gap between the curtains, falling on the already mottled and peeling wallpaper, illuminating the traces of graffiti left by him in his childhood.

The strong scent of sandalwood came, and the tape recorder in the altar sang Buddhist scriptures mechanically. Grandma sat on the deck chair on the balcony and fell asleep quietly.

The picture of this scene overlapped with the memory of his grandmother waiting for him to finish class in the dormitory, as if it happened yesterday.He never knew that the figure waiting for him in the sunset after class was so deeply and clearly branded.

Everything is obviously the same as before, but it is not the same as before.

Li Yurong has never felt so clearly at this moment that this house is old because the people who live in the house are old.

Grandma's old face is already covered with countless wrinkles. She is drowsy all day long, and she doesn't know when she will close her eyes forever.

But when Li Yurong came back here, she suddenly woke up from her sleep and opened her blurred eyes.

Their eyes are intertwined in this house full of memories.

In an instant, time turns back and time overturns.

Grandma grinned and murmured, "Master, you are back."

She is old, sick, and no longer recognizes people, and she doesn't have much time anymore. Fortunately, the wound called life and death that ran through the rest of her life was finally smoothed by disease and time, and she finally forgot the pain of losing her daughter. Grief-stricken, she was happy for her daughter's return with all her heart.

The sadness at this moment is overwhelming, devastating, and can defeat a person in an instant.

Li Yurong burst into tears.

One of them lost their mother, and the other lost their daughter. They both blamed themselves and each other. This resentment and blame was because they loved her who died.

One of them created her life, and the other continued her life. Something called family affection kept them together, and they depended on each other in this old house.

This feeling brought him back to the place where he wanted to escape thousands of times.

With tears streaming down his face, Li Yurong dropped his luggage and walked towards grandma step by step. Grandma looked at him tenderly and expectantly, watching him walking towards her.

Li Yurong slowly knelt down in front of her, holding her thin but still warm hand like a dead tree, just like his grandmother held his little hand countless times in childhood.

He is getting taller and stronger, and he is about to spread his wings and fly high, but the person who raised him is getting thinner and weaker, and he is about to die.

The time they can be together is running out.

He was about to lose her, the last relative he had grown up with.

Li Yurong buried his head in her lap, crying loudly for this unbearable death.

He cried so sadly that the pigeons parked outside the window flew away. He was ignorant, just immersed in this shameful grief, and wailed to express his reluctance with tears.

Grandma stroked his wet face and whispered, "Master, please don't cry."

Li Yurong wiped his tears vigorously, but no matter how hard he wiped, more tears would roll down from his eyes.

Grandma wiped away his tears and asked innocently, "Why do you cut your hair so short, like a boy."

Li Yurong choked up and said, "It will grow longer soon."

He couldn't tell her that her daughter had died many years ago.

She has been suffering from this fact for too long, if a lie can make her happier, he would rather weave a beautiful dream for her in her lifetime.

Grandma stroked his short hair and murmured: "Master, don't leave, okay? Mom can't bear you."

——Rongrong, don't leave, okay?Grandma hates you.

How indifferent was he four years ago to lightly lie that he would come back?

The heart seemed to be pierced by guilt, so cold and stinging.

"I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving!" Li Yurong cried and trembled all over. He wished he could go back to four years ago, slap himself on the face and tear up the notice.

This is his only relative, and they depend on each other for life, but she has been busy for a long time.

So he didn't want to travel any further.

He still has a lot of time in the future to chase his dream.

But now, he wants to accompany her to spend the last time of her life.

The author has something to say: That's it. A reader girl guessed that "Rongrong" is Li Shishi's real name very early on. She said at the beginning that he claimed to be the daughter of an old lady, but Li Yixiao felt that the two of them were not the same age , because in fact he is the grandson of the old lady, and he is playing his own mother.

In an intimate relationship like a family member, there are many people who torture each other, but there are also many people who finally understand each other.When Li Yurong was young, he loved and hated his relatives and couldn't wait to escape, but in the end he came back and took on his own responsibilities.

This is probably his cute place.

PS: Unexpectedly, Big Brother Han Mai had a relationship with him in the past.