Declare war on depression, against day and night

The light in the ward is always too bright, and a layer of light and thin curtains seem to be there.

Even the deep night in winter can't bring Bie Ming a pure sense of security.Even though this attempted suicide relieved Bie Ming a lot, the sudden light and brightness that he didn't know what to do still made him panic.

After waking up from a nap, the light in the room made me cry. When the vision was still hazy, Mao Shiyi's face and hands appeared.Unable to tell whether it was a dream or reality, Bie Ming said hoarsely, "I don't want to be here."

After Mao Shishi heard this, without further ado, he simply packed up the odds and ends he had brought, helped Bie Ming to put on his down jacket and shoes, put on his backpack, picked him up and walked out hurriedly.

Jiang Erge was coming back from fetching hot water, when he ran into two people who behaved intimately at the door, he felt a pain in his heart: "What are you doing? Ah Ming's physical condition cannot be discharged from the hospital yet."

"You take care of the aftermath." Mao Shishi smiled at him hypocritically.

"At least you should get the doctor's consent!"

Mao Shishi pretended not to hear, and told jokes loudly on his own, regardless of whether Bie Ming listened or laughed, because he said it to Jiang Erge on purpose.When I couldn't go on, I had nothing to say, so I laughed loudly and acted like no one else was there.

It was already the end of November, and there was no sign of snow in Lucheng. Many people occasionally raised their heads when walking on the side of the road, breathing out a breath of hot air, and the soft cloud of water vapor dissipated in the air in an instant.They are all waiting for a snow, just like waiting for a rain in summer, to cover or wash away the embarrassment or anxiety of the previous months.

When he walked out of the hospital and was standing on the side of the road to take a taxi, Bie Ming's head that had been upright finally leaned limply on Mao Shiyi's shoulder.Not wearing a scarf, with the cold wind blowing down his neck, he shrank his shoulders and said, "I'm not saying that I have to leave here. I also didn't say that I have to leave today. But I'm still very happy. Can you help me?" , really happy."

Mao Shishi looked down at him, only to find that there was a tear hanging from the corner of Bie Ming's right eye, and there was no smile on his face at all.

"I know, you're always like this whether you're in the hospital or not. You're weak and weak, and you're going to fill the ditch tomorrow. It's better to go back and spend less money." Caring, "Don't do any nonsense after you go home. With your physique, you won't be able to wake up at any time. It's a lot of work, and it's boring."

Bie Ming said dully, "Yes...I'm sorry..."

Mao Shishi snorted: "Who are you sorry for? You are sorry for yourself. It's not me who suffers, and it's not me who gets the injection. I also want to send you to see a psychiatrist after your psychological quality is stronger. Fortunately, I saved so many steps and went directly to the hospital. Do you want me to send you to the doctor now?"

"Don't..." Bie Ming frowned, and stretched out his hand to gently grab Mao Shiyi's clothes.

Mao Shishi pretended to be annoyed and turned his face away: "Show me your hand! Did you see the taxi coming? Can I grow a third hand to stop the taxi on the spot?"

Even if he kept Dr. Lin Lu's words in mind, Mao Shishi still couldn't treat Bie Ming honestly and honestly. He wanted to tell him a few thoughtful words in his heart, but when he said them, they turned into cynicism and sarcasm.Mao Shi kept sighing in his heart, blaming his own character.

In front of such a weak, pitiful, helpless and stupid human being, why are you so arrogant, so stubborn, and so awkward?

He obviously cared about the other party, so why did the words he said have to make him feel sad?Bie Ming is a child who lacks love since he was a child, so that his body is in his twenties, but the age of his heart and soul is still in single digits. He is an old man who is almost a thousand years old, so there is no need to talk to a kid like he is angry , so as to create unnecessary estrangement and the opposite effect.

It's not necessary.

In Bie Ming's imagination, when he returned home, he would definitely sleep in the dark on his bed in his beloved pajamas, regardless of what was going on around him.Although I have never cared about it since I was a child.A few days is the first time he has been away from home for so long, and it is also a rare few nights.

But such a small expectation was dashed.

In the past few days, Mao Shishi has not only sought Lin Lu to obtain the scriptures, but he has also given Bie Ming's room a major renovation based on Lin Lu's suggestion.

First of all, he opened the doors and windows to ventilate all day, threw away Bie Ming's "tools of crime", and violently tore off his thick and heavy curtains.With great fanfare, Bie Ming was replaced with light blue wallpaper, slightly darker dark blue translucent curtains, powder blue bed sheets and light blue bed sheets dotted with little white clouds.

The room was completely new, but Bie Ming didn't see it at all.Because Mao Shishi forcibly "trapped" him in his room, and lied to Bie Ming that the poisonous gas in his room hadn't dissipated completely, and it was still poisonous and harmful to the body when he entered it, just like a city bombed by the Communist Party. Not suitable for human habitation.

Bie Ming: "..."

"To sum up, my uncle condescends and allows you to sit on an equal footing with me, eat and sleep together."

Bie Ming: "..."

For Bie Ming, being alive still made him feel numb and meaningless, and even said that he was a little annoyed by what happened around him.

Even so, he didn't want to try burning charcoal again, it was too painful.I also don't want to waste my mind and energy to toss myself, just to die, it's unnecessary, because death will eventually come to everyone.

You can die by tossing, you can die by waiting, and silently accepting the inevitable death is what Bie Ming can do now, and it is also what Bie Ming hopes most.

He acquiesced to Mao Shiyi's behavior, and he didn't make too many demands on things like the light in his room that didn't meet his requirements. He didn't want to talk, and he didn't want to experience any other emotions. He just waited quietly. .

If the light is coming in from the window, just turn away with your back to the window.

Maybe it was because of swimming on the edge of the lost cliff, Mao Shishi felt nervous, so on the first day back home, he was quite attentive.

Put Bie Ming on the bed, drew the curtains in the room, and excitedly started transplanting into the kitchen. Not only did the small pot boil milk, make tomato and beef soup, but also took the time to peel a few for Bie Ming. Oranges are on a plate.

Because Lin Lu said that milk, beef, and citrus are good food to supplement the mood.

However, what is the abstract meaning of "supplementing emotions", what kind of emotions are being supplemented, why emotions can be supplemented and other extremely difficult questions...all are not within the scope of Mao Shiyi's consideration.It’s about the same as the reason that most people can relieve negative energy by going to a hot pot restaurant when they are tired and tired.

Being human is hard.

Unlike their cats, they never have anything to worry about, sleep when they want to sleep, and ignore people if they want to.

Gongwen was standing at the entrance of the kitchen, smacking his lips longingly, and said to Mao Shishi, "I want to eat."

Mao Shishi: "Get lost."

The official document is: "嘿嘤嘤."

Mao Shishi held the big spoon and poked at Gong Wenzheng's nose 0.1 centimeters away, raised his head, pointed his nostrils at him arrogantly, tilted one side of his mouth angrily and gave a sinister smirk: " Can you hear me telling you to get lost?"

"Oh, my dear cat, everything is negotiable, right? Do you think how happy we were when we ate hot pot that night? There are two bags of instant noodles and a handful of thin vermicelli in the refrigerator, just in time to cook in the rice cooker , " Gong Wen was blinking flatteringly at Mao Shishi, laughing until crow's feet appeared, "Fragrant!"

"I told you, don't mention the hot pot to me. It's not your hot pot. Don't scream, can you vomit so many times that night? His stomach is like a little sparrow, and he eats such spicy pork slices, pinch I will not kill you and me."

Gong Wenzheng was dissatisfied, pouted his nose and whispered: "I don't know who licked their face and said to Bie Ming first, 'Eat more, eat more'."

The big spoon in Mao Shishi's hand was 0.01 centimeters away from Gong Wenzheng's nose, and the spoon was steaming hot, like the anger in Chef Mao's eyes.Gong Wenzheng was taken aback, but he was not afraid, he just smelled it and said "it smells good".

The pot has been bubbling and bubbling for a long time, and the thick tomato flavor has always seduced Gong Wenzheng.

But he just waited at the door, and didn't say any more awkward words such as "want to eat".Because he knows that this cat master has always been thunderous and rainy, don't listen to those who say no, and he has silently prepared a bowl of rice for you in his heart.He just has to wait and taste it.

Or the cat's heart and fickle face.

Mao Shishi probably guessed what he was thinking. He went back to the room with the pot in his hand, kicked the door shut, and the door lock clicked, leaving a stunned Gong Wenzheng behind him.

Then, Mao Shiyi opened the door again and came out.

The expression on Gong Wenzheng's face immediately broke the ice, and he greeted a warm and comfortable smile like a spring breeze blowing on his face. He thought Master Cat hadn't forgotten himself and brought him a bowl of beef.However, the reality of the situation once again slapped Gong Wenzheng in the face.Mao Shishi just came back with milk and oranges.

Senior Duan Fangjian, where are you?Someone abused a dog here!

Mao Shishi set up a small table on the bed, helped Bie Ming up after the meal was served, and told him in a warm voice that it was a little hot.

As dedicated as caring for a paraplegic patient.

In order not to be named, he did something he had never done before, showing cooking skills that no one else had ever enjoyed, with diligence and sincerity.At this time, Mao Shishi's sense of responsibility, accomplishment and elation were overwhelming. Qing waited for Bie Ming to open his mouth to praise him, and his tail would be up to the sky.

In the end, Bie Ming didn't give Mao Shishi any face.

The three things on the table were not touched.

"I spent a lot of time, you have to eat a little bit, right? It's cold, but you can still warm up. Didn't I say that I will accompany you?" Mao Shiyi was a little angry, but he was still depressed because of Bie Ming's depression Follow your own temper.

He didn't want to put all his heart and soul into it, and in the end, he only won a cold ass.

Bie Ming was very calm, staring at a piece of rolled up tomato skin: "No one will accompany me, no one can warm me."

Mao Shishi slapped the chopsticks on the table with a "slap", frowned, and said angrily, "If you don't give me your hand, how do you know that I can't give you warmth? I can't give you warmth? Oh, then I will What are you doing? Are you feeding pigs? Did you go to the hospital for an investigation whether you are depressed or mentally retarded? Get the hell out of here, where did you get that bullshit?"

Bie Ming finally raised his eyes and met Mao Shishi's gaze. He was open-minded, without the tension and fear before, and his voice was still extremely calm: "But how can you be sure that I haven't stretched out my hand?"

Mao Shiyi's anger disappeared immediately, leaving only a puzzled face: "Huh?"

He reached out?

when?

Why do I have no impression at all?

"At that time, I asked you, and you said you would stay with me until I could walk into the hospital. Do you know how hard it is for me to say this? But I handed you my hand...but How did you do it? You abandoned me, and there was no news for days. You were my last hope, but you abandoned me."

The more Bie Ming talked, the more sad he became, the tears he had accumulated for a long time could no longer be held back.

"You also said... as long as I have the heart to change, you are willing to waste the time of my life for me..."

When breaking up with Jiang Erge, Bie Ming controlled his emotions very well.Not only in front of outsiders, but also in front of mirrors and himself, Bie Ming has never lost his composure.

I don't know what's wrong today, I can't control myself, and I can't control my emotions.

Would you like to be my god, would you lend me some non-burning fire, would you put such a miserable me in your life bag...

"Mao Shishi, is it because the two of us have different concepts of 'accompanying', that's why I believed you so hastily, and why I'm so sad now?" Bie Ming covered his face with his hands, tears running down his fingers Now that the emotions have exploded, let’s release it to the end, "Tell me, what is your 'companion' like? Is it verbal companionship or invisible companionship? You tell me, I can change it, I don't care Yes. Really... I don't care..."