Declare war on depression, against day and night

Bie Ming's "night" is not fixed, it can also be said to be based on mood.That means, don't ask when to go to bed and when to get up, and don't listen to the earth's rotation and the sun's rising and setting at all.So sometimes he sleeps for more than 30 hours, and sometimes wakes up for more than 30 hours, which is similar to his eating situation.

This is probably the freedom of living alone.

But freedom always comes at a price, such as a sick stomach that also doesn't listen to his advice from time to time.

Habits formed indirectly by other people's habits may sound indifferent, but once the other party does not follow their own habits, the habitee will often feel anxious, as if the habit he has always maintained has been forcibly broken .To describe it more intuitively, it is probably that people who are used to getting up at eight o'clock are suddenly woken up at five o'clock one day.

Speaking of it, this process of indirectly developing a certain habit through the habits of others is actually called "accompanying" in the final analysis.

Since Jiang Erge would stand next to his seat in at least three classes every day, Bie Ming felt that he had to sleep at least two hours less every day, and the previous sufficient to overflowing sleep time suddenly decreased, which made him feel very uncomfortable.

So Bie Ming would lie on the table during every class break, watching Jiang Erge's back very persistently.

Watch him go to the toilet, watch him go to the office, watch his classmates come to him, etc., until you see whether he is sitting firmly on his seat or going through the hole in the table when he changes the books for the next class. Rummaging for a pen and paper.

If it is the former, Bie Ming will thank God and close his eyes, racing against the clock to enjoy a class of undisturbed high-quality sleep.

If it's the latter, there's no other way, obediently find out the book and wait for Jiang Erge.

This was the first habit Bie Ming developed because of Jiang Erge.

Because the history teacher likes to ask Bie Ming immediately after Jiang Erge asked questions, this behavior directly caused Bie Ming to develop an almost abnormal serious attitude towards Jiang Erge's speech.Not only is it like listening to English, knowing that you don’t understand it, you still have to concentrate on it, but when Jiang Erge mentions key points or points, Bie Ming carefully writes them down in his notebook.

After Jiang Erge finished answering the question, Bie Ming usually remembered his answer almost as well.Waiting tremblingly for the teacher to ask questions, more often the teacher will continue to give lectures, don't let out a long sigh of relief, the right hand holding the pen is always sweating.

This is the second habit that Bie Ming has developed because of Jiang Erge.

Jiang Erge stood by Bie Ming's side for more than half a semester. He has always been the benchmark that Bie Ming has hidden in his heart.In terms of literature and art, Jiang Erge is the only sunny white shirt among a group of rough men. In terms of tragedy, he is a pilgrim isolated among wolves.

Although Jiang Erge was always standing beside him, Bie Ming couldn't see how sleepy he was at all.Because he always asks him with a smile what he ate and drank today, how many lessons he slept, how many words he wrote, whether he was happy or hurt, etc. It doesn’t matter. The problem.

But just two days before Christmas, Jiang Erge suddenly stopped coming.

He has been lying on the table to sleep, sleep in math class, sleep in history class, the key is that every teacher pretends not to see.

Bie Ming sat in the back row wondering.

What is the world like?When he wasn't sleepy, he pretended to be extremely sleepy, and purposely yawned and came to the back row to disturb his sleep.I was really sleepy and wanted to sleep, but I buried myself in my arms like a stream and fell asleep.

Some people just like to think wildly.

Bie Ming spent the whole day not sleeping in class, just waiting for Jiang Erge to come to find him.

Unfortunately, it was the first time he didn't sleep at school all day, but Jiang Erge fell asleep all day long, even 10 minutes between classes.Bie Ming even felt that he reported in English class that he wanted to go to the bathroom, but he was sleepwalking.

It was the same the next day.

If Bie Ming had another friend like Jiang Erge who could talk to him at that time, he would definitely have asked him, "Why don't you just go to him and ask him? You two have a pretty good relationship. This is just the most common concern among friends."

"No, no." Bie Ming would definitely answer like this.

But Bie Ming didn't even have the chance to say those words, because apart from Jiang Erge, he had no other friends.

He is such a person, no matter how many twists and turns the concern in his heart is, no matter how regretful the intestines in his belly turn green, he will never show any emotion on his face, except sleepiness and indifference.

Take the initiative to find him to ask clearly?Show your concern in front of his eyes?

Impossible, even if he watched Jiang Erge leave his own world, he would not take this step forward.

Putting this kind of performance on others may be out of face, aloof and arrogant.

Don't cry, it stems from excessive inferiority complex.

Zhang Ailing once said: "When I met him, she became very low, low into the dust, and flowers bloomed from the dust"

Don't be different, no matter whether he is in love with others or not, as long as there are people other than himself, he will first lower himself into the dust, until the dust completely covers himself, until others do not realize his existence.

A person's heart can be very big, he can love one person, or a group of people, he can love a city, or the whole world, but few people allow a piece of dust to freely enter and leave a perfectly dressed heart .

This mystery has always been hidden in Bie Ming's heart, and no one knows it except himself.

On Christmas Day, the answer to the mystery was solved, and at the same time, there was a little love in Bie Ming's heart that was solved at the same time.

From childhood to adulthood, it is also an expression of such a large span of narrative time as "from childhood to adulthood", but it still has to be said.Bie Ming always enjoys looking back on his childhood and not long ago with the mentality that he thinks he is old at the moment, just like almost everyone thinks that what he posted yesterday or Weibo revealed a very stupid childish, horrible childish.

If you want to say if there is anything in this world that Bie Ming is vaguely looking forward to, it is like the courier that is on the way and is running towards you wholeheartedly. .

Still there.

Bie Ming looks forward to Christmas and New Year's Eve every year.

Probably Aiwujiwu.

Because of Christmas and New Year's Eve, Bie Ming began to look forward to the first snow every year. Because of the first snow every year, Bie Ming began to look forward to the warmer and more precious winter because of the cold.

He is very smart, knowing that the empty self needs to look forward to something at all times, just like a person with faith in his heart always carries his own faith.

Because my life is like a barren land, if no one is willing to water and sow it, or is willing to give some energy and physical strength, if I still want to wait for the arrival of such a person, then this barren land must start from my own barren land. Among them, try to dig out one or two seeds.

The atmosphere of Christmas has been gradually fermenting several days ago, whether it is in the commercial street outside the school or in the supermarket inside the school.Beautifully packaged apples, Santa Claus ornaments, dolls pulling elks can be seen everywhere...In department stores like Times Square, there is often a tall, beautifully decorated tree with many wish cards, gift boxes, Christmas tree with decorations and lights.

There are usually no activities during the day. In class, everyone behaves in a well-behaved manner, holding down a restless deer under the chest.

After the day's classes are over, Christmas begins.

They gave candy, apples, gifts, greeting cards, and love letters. Two people stayed together, three people stayed together, and a group of people stayed together, talking, laughing, and chattering, two or three times louder than usual.

Bie Ming would never feel lonely for himself at this time, he was sitting in the seat, watching, listening, and feeling the happiness of everyone, and that was enough.

Because you see, how happy this world is, no matter who is in this scene, they can't help but raise the corners of their mouths, right?

Last year's Christmas, Bie Ming still remembers, it was as joyful and charming as Chinese New Year.

A senior secretly brought fireworks to school for his girlfriend, carefully hid them in the dormitory for a week, and then lit them upright in the playground as if announcing them to the whole world.The photo of them kissing under the firework show was spread all over the mobile phones secretly carried by every student in the school.However, this senior was severely punished by the school, and it is not known exactly what it was.

That romantic moment exclusive to high school students is enough to exchange for any punishment.

It was already dark, and there were almost no people in the classroom. They were all chatting and exchanging gifts in the corridor.

Bie Ming lay on the table, staring out the window.

Will there be fireworks this year?He was slightly looking forward to it.

"I guess you are missing me?" Jiang Erge suddenly appeared behind Bie Ming, and patted him on the shoulder lightly.

"I haven't seen you come to class all afternoon."

Bie Ming seemed to have a premonition that Jiang Erge would come to him, and he didn't show too much surprise or surprise. There was only a faint expression on his face, as if he didn't even bother to give him a smile.But in fact, his heart has exploded, as if he is the girl closest to the fireworks.

"I've always been at school, you just don't care where I am." Jiang Erge smiled as usual, sitting in the seat of a classmate in front of Bie Ming, facing him, "These two days...you don't have any questions to ask me Why? Why don’t you come back, why you always sleep, why you run home after school, etc. Many people in the class are concerned about me, asking me if I’m not feeling well, you really don’t worry about me at all ?"

Bie Ming: "..."

How does Bie Ming answer?He also cares about him very much, and has many questions he wants to ask him, but can he be ranked in Jiang Erge's heart?He was worried about him, and also worried that nothing would go away.

"You said that there are many people who care about you, so they don't miss me." Bie Ming replied in a low voice, placing himself in a very remote and secluded corner.

Jiang Erge frowned: "But I have been waiting for your concern, those people are not important."

He even frowned beautifully, like a well-rehearsed drama, practicing every frown and smile for a long time in the mirror, and finally kept the most perfect moment on the stage.

Bie Ming lowered his head, then looked out the window, vaguely looking forward to the brilliant fireworks blooming in the night sky.

"I've prepared some gifts for you." Jiang Erge turned his face like turning over a book, his frowning expression froze for a moment, and then changed into a clean and bright smile. He first took out a big undecorated apple from his school uniform and put it on another Ming's table, "Tell me, what kind of Christmas surprise do you want?"

"Ai?"

Bie Ming was stunned.

Gift?

He never thought that he would have a gift, and he never expected to be treated so tenderly and with such care.

"why?"

His eyes were obviously looking at Jiang Erge, but he didn't know when the focus lost, and he couldn't focus on the person in front of him no matter what.There are only a few vague outlines overlapping back and forth, trying to be in one place, but they just can't match.His eyes seemed to stay on Jiang Erge's body, and he seemed to be able to see through his body to see the blackboard behind him and the schedule on the blackboard.what did he seeHe saw nothing.

Jiang Erge smiled again, the smile deepened, and the dimples on both sides squeezed out: "Straight man, are you? It's so obvious that you can't see it? I'm chasing you."

The author has something to say: I have decided, I will work a little harder to save the manuscript.

Really, plans can't keep up with changes.

headache.