The ten-year trace of the soul of chess

Liang picked out a few calla lilies, carnations, and some gladiolus and roses. After buying them, he estimated the time and walked back slowly.

There are 3 vases at home, and my mother always likes to decorate some flowers at home, saying that it is more homely.

Liang had never thought about it deeply before, until today when he opened the door and looked at the seemingly empty room, he suddenly thought, is the reason why his mother decorated the flowers to make the house look more lively?During the days when I and my father went out to compete, my mother always seemed to spend it alone.

Liang changed his shoes and walked into the hall. Just as he put the flowers on the table, a door to the back room opened.

Seeing Guang's walking posture, he knew that Guang's legs were numb again.

When Guang is at home and playing games, he always likes to put one leg under his body. After sitting for a long time, his legs are prone to numbness, but today...

He could almost imagine Guang sitting upright in front of his mother. If he said he was not nervous, he might not be able to do it.

I was nervous because I cared too much.

Because I want to be affirmed too much, I don't allow myself to make half mistakes.

Liang looked at the face of the light, his eyes met the light, and the light smiled at him, the smile was a little stiff.

Having experienced Zuo Wei's disappearance and Liang's serious illness, Mitsuhara thought he was strong enough, but the moment he heard Mrs. Akiko's order to evict guests, he almost failed.

At this moment, when he walked out of the room, he saw Liang who had already been waiting in the hall, Guang looked at his lover, tried to smile naturally, and when he pulled the corners of his mouth, he found it was still a bit difficult.

Sorry I may have disappointed you.He looked at Liang and said silently.

Liang seemed to hear it, and shook his head slightly.Never deny yourself easily.

For more than ten seconds, Guang walked out of the room and just looked at Liang.

As if he had absorbed enough courage from his lover's gaze, he slowly walked towards Liang.Due to the pressure on his legs for a long time, every time he took a step, his legs hurt like needles, so Guang had no choice but to walk slowly so that his walking would not look so awkward.

When he walked in front of Liang, Guang smiled at him, a little stuck in his throat.

Taking a deep breath, he said, "Then I will go back first."

Highlights nod.

When he was about to turn around, he suddenly grabbed Guang's hand.

Without any words, just pinched gently.

Light looked up at him.

Light's fingertips were cold, but his palm was still warm. He didn't let go of his hand until his fingertips were completely covered with the temperature that belonged to him.

"Then I'm leaving." Guang Chongliang smiled.

"Yeah." Liang smiled back, "Be careful on the road."

When he left the entrance, Hikari's mood was quite calm.

But as soon as he walked out of Taya's house, Hikaru's footsteps stopped.

He turned around and looked back at the building behind him, suddenly he didn't want to leave like this.Knowing that this is Liang's real home, and knowing that the person in the house is Liang's biological mother, he still feels that this cold house is like a cage, and he will not see Liang for a long time.

He still couldn't convince Mrs. Akiko.Light thought.He thought that he should have improved a little over the years, but in the end he found that what Liang could do, he still couldn't do.

But he only stayed for a while, and then took another step.

He didn't dare to stay, always afraid that Liang would watch him from a place he couldn't see—he really didn't want to make Liang worry anymore.He once heard from a doctor that the occurrence of gastric ulcer is not only related to eating habits, but also has a certain relationship with emotions.

It's just Liang, what should I do to share some of the burden for you?

After Guang left, Akiko also came out from the back room.

In the living room, mother and son stood facing each other across a dining table.For a time, relatively silent.

How should I face Xiao Liang.

Akiko has never felt so entangled and struggling.

After what happened last night, she already knew the position of Jin Tengguang in Xiao Liang's heart.Or maybe, as early as when Xiao Liang was hospitalized, she knew that no matter what she did, she couldn't separate them.

They are as close as shadows of each other.

Akiko looked at Liang, and opened her mouth with difficulty: "I let Shinto go back, won't you be happy, Xiao Liang?"

Liang couldn't answer this question.

He felt like he was caught in a double-robbing cycle.If he said no, it would be against his will. First of all, he couldn't pass the test in his heart, and if he said yes... it would definitely make his mother sad and disappointed.

So, he could only keep silent.

In the past, he was not used to actively expressing anything.

But this time, a voice inside him said that he had to say something.

He thought for a while, and then said: "Since I was a child, there are so many chess players around me, coming and going, they seem so harmonious, but I always feel that I am walking on this road alone. Later, when I grew up, I Gradually, I saw some different emotions in the eyes of those people. Some people respected me, and some people envied me. In their eyes, I was the son of a celebrity Taya, a rising chess star in the future. It's Taya Ryo. It seems that there is always a wall separating me and other shogi players in two worlds."

His hands clasped the back of the chair beside the table lightly.

"At the beginning, I didn't quite understand. I didn't think I was very good, I was just trying to improve my chess. I didn't know why they were afraid of me, and I didn't know why I beat others openly, but others started Alienate me. People of my age who once came to look for me, after losing chess, they stopped coming."

Liang said, lowering his eyes unconsciously.

At that time, he really didn't understand.

If you lose a game, just start over.Why did they choose to leave?

For a while, he couldn't even tell whether he was lonely because he chose Go, or whether he chose Go because he was lonely.

"However, it doesn't matter. When I understand their thoughts, I will understand." Liang raised his head and smiled at Mingzi, "But when I was getting used to being alone, I met Shinto Hikaru."

"It wasn't until one day when the light appeared in front of me that I suddenly realized that there might be someone accompanying me on the road I was walking alone. It turns out that I can also have a different choice."

Just because of meeting the light, everything becomes different.Even the nineteen-way chessboard that I am used to seeing on weekdays seems to have a different meaning.

Ming Zi looked at Liang smiling at him, but in this smile, he felt a little startled.

She never knew that Xiao Liang had such thoughts...

She seemed to react suddenly, and seemed to change the subject, and asked half-jokingly: "Xiao Liang, are we going to stand and talk like this all the time?"

Liang froze for a moment, and immediately blushed.

Akiko smiled and told him to wait in the back room first, then turned around and fetched the gardening shears from the kitchen.

Pruning flower branches does not take much time, it is just casual.

Today, Akiko spent a lot of time taking care of it.

After sorting out his mood, he made another pot of tea and brought the cups into the Japanese room.

Thus, the once-interrupted conversation finally resumed after a quarter of an hour.

Following the topic just now, Liang relaxed his shoulders a little, and continued: "Actually, I have never had any friends. Or to be precise, I don't know what constitutes a 'friend'."

He looked up at his mother, and smiled embarrassedly: "If you are familiar, you are considered friends. Then I know Mr. Ashihara and Mr. Ogata very well. Is it a friend? It doesn't feel like it. Miss Shihe, and Go Everyone in the clubhouse takes good care of me, are they my friends? It seems not.”

"When I met Guang for the first time, I was very surprised and surprised. Before him, no one of my age came to play chess with me for a long time. I took him to the seat where I always sat, and we guessed first. Way to play chess, and then..." Liang's smile dimmed.

Mingzi looked at his son, and asked softly: "And that day, did our Xiaoliang come back in the rain all the way?"

Liang was taken aback for a moment, then blushed slightly, and shook his head slightly.

"That was the second time," he said.

"After losing to Guang for the first time, I waited for him in the clubhouse every day, but he never came again. When I finally found him, I thought I found a like-minded peer, but he said something that I couldn't tolerate. So , I took him to the Go clubhouse for the second game. In the end, it ended in a disastrous defeat for me." The past events that he once made himself hard to let go of, now speaking of them, Liang actually sensed some kind of metaphorical meaning from them, "The second After losing chess for the second time, I was very unwilling. Why would I lose to this kind of person? I practiced desperately, trying to catch up with him as soon as possible, but when I found him again, he said to me, never again Play chess with me."

The conversation outside the teaching building, the curtains that Guang resolutely drew, are still fresh in my memory.

At that time, why did I so stubbornly identify with the light?Liang asked himself, maybe it was because of his competitive heart, or because he was dazzled by anger.

Everything after that just happened.

There was an imperceptible smile on the bright lips.

After he lowered his head and took a sip of his tea, he continued the conversation gently: "Later, in order to play chess with him, I did a lot of things that I couldn't even understand myself, and at one point made it difficult for my seniors and sisters. Play against Guang again The night before, I was so nervous that I almost lost sleep, but his performance that day completely disappointed me, as if the figure I was chasing before was just an illusion."

Liang raised his head and smiled faintly at Akiko: "After that day, I also thought about it as if I had never known Hikari Shindo, but as I walked farther and farther away, news about him kept coming to me. Ears. Jinto was admitted as a college student, Jinto took the professional Go exam, and Jinto was admitted as a professional chess player... Gradually, paying attention to his every move seemed to become an instinct of mine. But just when I thought I finally had When Chance knew his true strength, he started to miss the Dashouhe match. I don't know why, but I felt angry and uneasy. I couldn't help it, and went to him again..."

Speaking of this experience, Ryo himself couldn't help laughing.

It's like fighting yourself to death.

If he knew at that time that he would fall in love with Guang, he would definitely grab Guang's hand immediately and never let go.

Ming Zi has never heard Xiao Liang talk about a person in such a tone.

It was so soft, and there was a little awkwardness in the softness.

She couldn't help asking softly: "And then?"

"Then..." The smile on the corners of Liang Liang's lips disappeared instantly. He looked at the slightly shaking tea soup in the cup and said slowly, "Then, I still couldn't convince him. He seemed to give up on himself. Fight and lose."

——With the disappearance of Sai.

And at that time, I didn't know anything...

Liang's mind quickly flashed the back of Guang running with his schoolbag on his back, and felt a dull pain in his heart, but thinking of the night when he first entered the Honinbo circle, the pain seemed to dissipate again.

Seeing that Liang stopped talking, Ming Zi was not in a hurry to urge him.

She quietly waited for Liang, waiting for him to sort out her emotions, together with her memories.

A few seconds later, she heard Liang say: "But later, he appeared in front of me so unexpectedly and told me that he would not give up Go. We had our first real confrontation, and we started playing Go in the clubhouse. Play chess together and review together."

Liang looked up at Ming Zi, then quickly lowered his head, with a faint smile on his lips: "He knows that I don't have the habit of eating while playing chess, so he always pulls me out so unreasonably, and every time Ramen, hamburgers. I thought about why he was so troublesome, and I was too embarrassed to shirk. But occasionally when I saw him walking with his friends and heard him say 'goodbye' to me, I felt like a piece of emptiness in my heart .”

"Some people say that Hikari Shinto is my friend. I thought about it, but I think he is not that simple. There are other qualities in him that attract me, not just Go."

"Later..." Liang smiled again, with a slight blush on his face, "Later, I found out that he was different from others. When I was with him, I was very relaxed and there would be no tension. Worries. After getting acquainted with Guang, I would often quarrel with him unconsciously because of some trivial matters. The quarrel was so unbearable that no one else knew it. I began to gradually hope that he belonged to me alone..."

Akiko looked at Ryo, and couldn't help thinking of what Shinto Hikari said just now.

She was almost surprised when she heard that Xiao Liang would lose her temper and confront others, but at this moment, when she heard what Liang said in person, she finally believed that Xiao Liang really has so many faces, and it was her, a mother, who always had so many faces. Never seen before.

The sun is fading to the west.

The conversation should have stopped here.

But like the effect of inertia, Liang suddenly felt that some words were suppressed in his chest, and he couldn't vomit quickly.

Ming Zi saw that Liang still wanted to say something, so he gave him an encouraging look.

Liang then met his mother's tolerant eyes, and continued: "Last night, I went to look for Guang. He was not in the apartment we lived in, so I went to their house again. I just wanted to make sure he was okay, his father But he told me that he said everything, that night, he knelt directly in front of them..."

When he said the last sentence, Liang intuitively felt his throat ache.

He raised his head and took a sip of tea, and when his lips touched the already cold tea, he suddenly realized that he had been talking to his mother for so long.

He swallowed lightly, and couldn't help but speed up his speech a little: "During the time I was convalescing, I don't know how Guang got here. What kind of mood did he kneel in front of his parents? I can't even think about it." I dare not think about it. But when he saw me last night, instead of complaining, he asked me stupidly why you came. Even the phone call I made to you last night was reminded by him. I remembered..."

After Liang finished speaking, he paused for a while, and after a while, he said again: "Actually, I was very hesitant just now, not sure whether I should tell you this, and if I said it, it would be counterproductive. But I still want to You know just what kind of person he is, and what kind of attitude he has towards your son."

"Mother," Liang called softly, "Actually, you could feel it as early as when I was in the hospital, couldn't you?"