The ten-year trace of the soul of chess

Light has not seen Light for at least two weeks since Liang was discharged from the hospital.

God seemed to have played a joke on him.When they lived together before, their chess games were always arranged at the same place, and Guang was full of complaints about this; now they have to separate, when Guang sincerely hoped to "encounter" each other on the chess field, but It seemed like there was no more chance.

These days, Guang has been deliberately avoiding topics related to Liang, forcing himself not to think about Liang, not to go to find Liang, he even unilaterally reduced the calls and text messages with Liang, and did not think about it. How does estrangement feel in a lover's heart.

Light always thought he was doing a good job.

However, after returning from Kuwahara, the paper fortress was suddenly torn open.

He suddenly regretted why he didn't take the envelope that Liang gave him with him, regretted why he didn't have the cheek to ask Mr. Nishimoto for their unused photos when he came back from the shooting in Kyoto, and regretted why he didn't talk to Liang again when they parted at the hospital. Talk more.

He suddenly... wants to see the light very much.

Even if you just watch him secretly not far away, you don't need to speak.

But he couldn't—at this moment, any time he took the initiative to approach Liang, it was like betraying his parents again.

In the bedroom at night, the fluorescent lamp above the head hurts the eyes of the light.

He was dizzy for a while, and gasped for air as if he was hyperventilating.

At the bottom of his heart, the crumbling fortress was like a broken eggshell. He watched the cracks grow worse and worse. He tried to glue them together, but he couldn't slow down the process of the fortress' collapse.

There was only a "boom--" sound, and it was fragmented.

Guang started to rummage through boxes and cabinets like crazy, but when he sat down on the floor exhausted, he only found the mobile phone number that Liang wrote to him, and the dozen or so photos of Liang that were stored in the mobile phone.

How could he have forgotten that all other things related to Liang were taken to that apartment by him, and the voice message that Liang sent to him during the earthquake could no longer be heard because it expired...

Liang usually doesn't like to take pictures.

Except for the few photos taken with me before, the rest of the photos were all secretly taken when he was not paying attention.

There is a picture of Liang covering it with his hands when the sneak shot is discovered; there is a picture of Liang bowing his head and writing notes;

There are still several photos that are blurred, but Guang is not willing to delete them.

Because it was shot secretly, most of the bright people in the picture are indifferent.

However, at this time, looking through the few photos in the mobile phone album again and again, Guang suddenly had an illusion, as if the bright eyes in the camera had an unconcealable smile on the corners of the brows, as if each picture was intriguing. 's masterpiece.

And these photos.

Every time he looked at it again, the memory carried by that photo deepened in Guang's mind.

Every time he rewatched it, his liking for Liang also penetrated a little bit more like honey emerging from a tree.

Even those blurred ones, his eyes seem to have some kind of focusing function, which can clearly and unmistakably capture the inconspicuous curvature of the bright lips.

Each one is so beautiful, and each one makes his heart beat.

But still not enough, far from enough.

The more he looked at these frozen photos, the more Guang wanted to hear Liang's voice again, to hear him call his own name again.

Once the seeds of longing germinate, it is like a dose of poison, eroding Guang's already precarious will inch by inch.

He held the phone in his hand, picked it up and put it down several times, his fingertips trembled slightly and moved to the dial key, a voice sounded in his brain like a ghost: "You just want to make sure he is okay."

Yeah, just bargaining with my other self, I just say a few words, and I hang up the phone as soon as I make sure everything is fine with him.

At that moment, Guang Guang pressed the dial button as if he was bewitched, and the connection request was sent through the invisible ether.

However, when he heard Ryo's voice, Hikari's hand still trembled in disbelief.

He carefully controlled his voice and emotions, pretending to be casual and chatting with Ryo about ordinary things.

Until Liang said on the other end of the phone: "I thought you would never call me again, Guang."

The light can hardly hold back.

He heard Liang keep calling his name: "Light, light..."

So soft, so lingering.

But he didn't dare to answer, and only let out a faint voice from his throat: "En."

Knowing that Liang can't see his expression, Guang still forced a smile, because he knows that his lover has such a special function - just by hearing his voice, he can "see" his emotions.

In front of that person, I have never been able to hide.

Somewhere in the dark of the body, Guang seemed to hear a voice screaming crazily: "I want to see you, I want to see you, I want to see you..."

He had to cover his mouth with his hand, and put a heavy seal on the dungeon.

But the monster broke free from the shackles and escaped.

He heard himself say hoarsely: "Liang, I miss you very much."

我 很想 你.

Although Guang looks carefree, he seldom expresses "I miss you" so bluntly. He always interprets these three words in his own way.

Hearing that Guang's voice was wrong, Liang tightened his grip on the phone, but said in a softer voice: "Fool, I'll just come here anytime."

"I have a cold and I'm afraid I'll infect you."

This time, the light returned quickly, and the voice seemed to have a distinct nasal sound.

On the other end of the phone, Liang fell silent, not knowing what he was thinking.

Guang suddenly became flustered, and after he said "I'm going to take a shower", he quickly hung up the phone.

Liang put down his cell phone, took out clothes from the closet and changed, then walked out of the room to the entrance.

Akiko heard the movement and came out of the room.

She called softly: "Xiao Liang?"

Bright footsteps did not stop.

Ming Zi asked again, "It's so late, where are you going?"

Liang finally stopped and turned to look at Mingzi.

Mingzi walked in front of Liang in three steps at a time, and frowned slightly.

Liang held his mother's hand and said softly, "I'm going to find him, something may have happened to him."

When Akiko glanced at the ring on Ryo's left ring finger, she suddenly couldn't control herself: "Is Shinto Hikaru really that important to you?"

More important than your parents...?

Liang looked at Mingzi speechlessly, and asked after a long time, "Mother, you actually know it all, don't you?"

Akiko didn't answer, just clenched Liang's hand as if grabbing a life-saving straw.

Looking at his mother's weeping expression, Liang felt a sharp pain in his heart.

This may be the first time since I was born that I have ignored my mother and disobeyed the wishes of my parents for the first time.

But this time, just this time, he desperately wanted to fight for something for himself.

Liang: "I'm sorry, mother..."

He took his finger out of Akiko's palm.

As soon as she let go of Mingzi's hand, she opened the door and went into the night.

Standing downstairs in the apartment, seeing that the lights in the apartment were dimmed, Liang's heart sank.

He quickly walked up to the second floor, and when he opened the door, a cold and dull smell came to his nostrils.

He touched the switch on the wall and turned on the chandeliers, ceiling lights and spotlights in the entire living room at the same time.

As far as the eye can see, apart from being covered with a thin layer of dust, all the furniture and floors are well-groomed.

Just like the morning when he left.

Light……

Calling out in his heart, Liang quickly walked through the living room and came to the door of the master bedroom.

His hand was already on the doorknob of the bedroom, but he quickly withdrew it.

After only staying in front of the bedroom door for a few seconds, he turned around and strode towards the entrance.

Locking the door without hesitation, Liang walked down the stairs, walking faster and faster.

He quickly called up Hegu's mobile phone number, his face was sinking, and when he was about to press the dial button, he lifted the corner of his lips and smiled self-deprecatingly.

What are you looking for with He Gu now?

I should have thought of it long ago, I should have thought of it the day I was discharged from the hospital.

Ta Yaliang, you have only been in the hospital for a few days, and your thinking has become so dull!

Liang walked downstairs, step by step, the sound of footsteps hitting the ground coldly, as if to crush all the moonlight on the ground.

After hanging up the phone, Guang just froze in place, not recovering for a long time.

When Mitsuko knocked on the door, there were still red marks in his eyes that had not faded in time.

Hearing the knock on the door, Guang tidied up the expression on his face in a panic, and went to open the door for his mother - when he was self-willed, there were times when the door was locked, and Mitsuko complained at the door at most, not I will be particularly concerned.But after seeing such a sad mother that night, Guang never wanted to let her down.As long as he can satisfy, even if he doesn't want to, he will do it.

The door opened from the inside.

Mitsuko stood at the door for more than ten seconds, neither entering nor retreating, and finally just pulled her into the room.

This is the first time in these days that Mitsuko took the initiative to find Hikari, and the first time she took the initiative to step into Hikari's room.

Seeing the chess records and periodicals all over the floor and table in the room, Mitsuko frowned unconsciously.Just observing his words and expressions, he hurriedly tidied up to make room for Mitsuko to sit.

When Hikari moved out to live in this room, Mitsuko would come to clean this room every day to ensure that Hikari could live in it anytime he came back.

She is very familiar with every decoration in this room.

However, sitting in her son's room at this moment, Mitsuko felt a strange restraint.

From that night to now, Mitsuko does not know whether Aguang has met Taya Ryo again.

She even turned a deaf ear to all the abnormalities of her son these days.

After that night, Aguang has been living at home, which has been the greatest comfort to Mitsuko.She always believed that as long as there was less interaction between the two, the pediatric love would naturally fade away.Therefore, even though her husband had a long talk with her in the room just now, she still stubbornly refused to accept, agree, or compromise.

However, the moment she saw the reddish circles around her eyes, the persistence in her heart suddenly wavered—it was this kind of telepathy, even if she didn't know what happened, she could still feel some kind of emotion that her child was trying to suppress. mood.

So, she asked Guang almost beggingly: "Isn't it good for girls? Didn't you get along well with Mingming before?"

Mitsuko didn't understand, she really didn't understand.

Wasn't everything fine before?

Why is my son, why is it...

Guang looked at his mother, remained silent for a long time, and suddenly said: "You know what? I haven't seen him for more than half a month... We should have had many opportunities to meet each other, but it was such a coincidence that the place of our chess match was diverted."

"If I happen to meet, or if he comes to me, I will definitely not avoid him, because I miss him very much and want to see him right away. But I will not take the initiative to find him."

Mitsuko: "Why..."

Hikaru smiled palely: "Because I know you don't want me to see him. I love Taya, and I hope you can accept him, but I love you too. You are irreplaceable family members to me. "

"Although the matter of 'I love Taya' will never change, if I can't see him and don't take the initiative to find him, if I can make you feel better and be happier, I will do it for you."

Guang Bo said calmly, without any anger or complaints in his voice, but his eyes turned red a little bit again: "Mother, I know that it is difficult for you to accept this for a while, we will give both parties some buffer time, but ...Can I ask you too, please stand on my side and think for me?"

"I really, really miss him..."

"Ah Guang, you..." The son who was talking to her calmly in front of her made Mitsuko both distressed and frightened.

She would rather just quarrel with her, or just make trouble with her unreasonably, than see him like this now, suppressing all his emotions into the depths of his eyes.

She finally tried to give in.

She tentatively asked Guang: "Does Taya-kun's parents know? You..."

Light shook his head.

Mitsuko was unable to figure out what the light was trying to express by shaking her head, she just felt like someone had cut out her heart, and it hurt her heart.

Motherhood is selfish.

Whenever the vital interests of children are involved, they will always wear colored glasses unconsciously.

Even though she knew it was not Toya Ryo's fault alone, Mitsuko still couldn't help feeling resentful towards him, and still couldn't help being harsh. Hikari is so sad now, but where are you, Taya Ryo?Boys who are both eighteen or nineteen years old, how credible are the vows made on a whim?

Knowing that it would be useless to talk, Meijin couldn't help asking, "Have you thought about the future? Have you thought about it when we're gone, and there's only the two of you. At that time, there will be no legal guarantee, no support from friends, and you will be accused by others every day. Tell me, can you hold on?"

Metsuko couldn't stand just imagining possible scenes in her mind.

"It's too hard, Ah Guang." She said, tears almost fell from her red eyes.

When the chill spread from the fingertips to the chest little by little, a pair of warm hands gently covered the back of Mitsuko's hands.

"I don't feel hard at all." When Mitsuko looked up, she saw Hikari smiling at herself, but the smile was full of forbearance and sadness, "Mom, do you know? Before I met Taya, I didn't even know that I wanted What to do, what to do, is just dawdling every day. It was after meeting him that I found what I really wanted to do, and it was he who gave me the goal I wanted to work hard to achieve."

"It may be an exaggeration to say so, but Mom, it is true that my life has changed because of meeting Taya, a positive change. It is such a person, I don't want to miss it, and I don't want to give him up to others."

Hikaru took Mitsuko's hand and squeezed it lightly.

"But Taya is an idiot, Mom. He is always used to taking care of everything by himself. I have a fever, and he thinks it's his fault; I have a sprain, and he thinks it's his fault. He's tired all day, but he flies away I came to Sapporo to see me for three hours; I said I was nervous, so he stayed up all night and wrote hundreds of notes to encourage me. He has a bad stomach, so I have to watch him, let him eat on time, go to bed on time, and let him not So desperate. I hope he can live a long life, I want him to stay in my life forever..."

Just talking about this, I suddenly couldn't continue.

He quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, then smiled shyly at Mitsuko.

But it was this tearful smile that made Mitsuko almost let go.

This seemed to be the first time in so many years that he heard his son talk so much to himself, his thoughts, and another person he cared about.

No longer as a child, but as a young man who dares to take responsibility.

She suddenly regretted coming upstairs today, and regretted not interrupting Guang's speech in the middle.

Mitsuko just felt that it was extremely confusing and contradictory.

There was clearly a thin thread in her mind, but she still stubbornly stood there, unwilling to reach out and hold it.

In his ear, Guang asked again: "Mom, is the forgiveness talisman you mentioned earlier still valid?"

Mitsuko swayed.

So at that time, they...were already together?

Can't give an answer.

Also unwilling to give an answer.

Under Hikari's pressing step by step, Mitsuko finally stood up unbearably, and left Hikari's room with an excuse before losing control of her emotions.

The door was gently closed.

Guang still sat where he was, staring blankly at the floor until he heard vague voices from downstairs.

He moved slightly, and then his heart beat wildly as if he had a premonition.

He rushed out of the room almost as fast as the wind, and when he reached the middle of the stairs, his legs and feet seemed to suddenly lose control, and he could no longer take the next step.

In the living room, the slender man was talking with the husband.

Halfway through the conversation, he seemed to have discovered the existence of light, and looked up in the direction of the stairs.

It only took a second to turn his head and look back. When he turned his head, he shook it up a little bit like a slow motion, and then when he saw the figure on the stairs, his eyes widened suddenly, and the whole person seemed to be frozen.

The picture played back in my mind frame by frame.

Divided into milliseconds, disassembled into microseconds.

Why is Liang here?If he isn't resting at home, what is he doing here?Guang suddenly became angry.But when he saw his parents standing in front of him, he became anxious again. Did they say anything excessive to Liang just now?Did you make things difficult for Liang?Thinking of the time when Liang arrived, he couldn't help but wonder if he was caught in the phone call just now?Then I fell into deep regret, why I was so impatient, why did I make that phone call!

All of a sudden, anger, frustration, heartache, anticipation... Countless emotions surged up, and they all blocked the atrium that had been leaking on all sides these days.

In just one second, thoughts seemed to run through several seasons in Guang's mind.

It took Guang a while to stand where he was before he was finally sure that it was really bright.

He really came.

This cognition is like a bomb/bomb, detonating the senses all over the body.All the autonomic nerves are active in the body with the arrival of Liang, like a carnival without any emotion.

Even if he hadn't seen him for a few days, he was still the boy he loved so much.

Still so handsome, still revealing an elegant and calm calm.

It's just that his face still seems a little bloodless.

how could be?Just think about it.Mrs. Akiko should take good care of Liang.

It must be my own illusion.

Guang seemed to seize this excuse and look at the lover he hadn't seen for a long time without any scruples, and he became a little crazy.

A few steps away, he heard Liang calling his name: "Guang."

This was the first time that Liang called him that in front of his parents, and it seemed that Guang had gained supreme courage from this call.

He looked back at Liang, feeling that the ice in his heart was melting a little bit, and he finally had the ability to smile again.

How nice.His light came, like a divine soldier descending from heaven.

So powerful, yet so unexpected.

But he suddenly felt his eye sockets a little sore.He kept blinking, trying to evaporate all the unwelcome water molecules.

Under Liang's gaze, the legs that could not move at first finally took another step.It's just that every step down the stairs, Guang had to pull on the handrail—because at this moment, his feet felt like he was stepping on cotton wool, fluttering and extremely soft.

He walked down the steps step by step, and finally stood still in front of Liang.

"I'll take you home." Liang Zhaoguang smiled slightly.

When he smiled, the corners of his eyes were slightly curved, and the corners of his lips were slightly raised.There was infinite tenderness in the smile, and a bit of scarlet embarrassment.

The familiar picture suddenly broke through the cage of memory and flashed back in front of the light.He didn't know what to say for a moment, but he just looked at his lover who was close at hand, as if no one else was there.

Liang seemed to see through the trance of light.

He lightly stroked his smooth face, then smiled and said, "When you don't know what to say, just smile."