healer love letter

Li Ying follows her mother's surname, and the household registration book says that she is a single parent.

His mother has a nice name called Li Wenya, but his mother has nothing to do with the word Wenya.Many years later, Li Ying studied psychology by herself, and saw her mother in the hysteria in Freud's interview records.Her growling and crying, her mood swings, her fits of seizure.

Li Wenya graduated from university and fell in love with a man. She thought this man was attractive and personable, and he was what he wanted in his other half.She grew up without her father's company, and the absence of male family members left an indelible scar on her heart.The Oedipus complex for his father is projected onto this man, so he is completely devoted to him.

He has a manly demeanor, and he showed good upbringing and etiquette when he was with her. Anyone who reads it will think that he is a copy of a good contemporary man.

Li Wenya said several times that she wanted to have a child, but he refused.She felt that this man was like the wind, she couldn't hold him firmly, she wanted a child to lock him tightly.So she worked hard and exhausted all her thoughts, and finally got herself pregnant.The man who heard the news of her pregnancy was not angry but happy. He patted her head and asked if we could give birth to her.

The gentle smile was like a bright lamp lit only for her at night.

She nodded, and hid in his embrace like a bird.

Pregnant in October and giving birth once.

On the day of giving birth, Li Wenya was sent to the hospital, and only her mother was with her.The child's father is missing without a trace.Li Wenya thought that he needed to go on a business trip due to urgent business matters, so she had to hang up after several phone calls and no answer, until she was pushed into the delivery room, she thought about making another call after she came out later, telling him that you are going to be a father up.

But the call never went through, and later, it became an empty number.

Li Wenya's postpartum depression, coupled with being exposed to this absurd false dream of happiness, made her psychologically unbearable and depressed for a long time.

Her mother is a woman of the older generation with little knowledge. She only knows that her daughter is in a bad mood, so she can only comfort him at home and help her take care of the child.It was never considered that she was psychologically traumatized and needed therapy.

The illness dragged on and on until it became terminally ill.

Li Wenya sometimes hallucinates and looks around, and her wrong way of attribution pushes all of this to her son, looking at him several times, she wants to strangle him to death.However, as a mother, her calf-protective nature made her unable to do so. Amid such conflicting emotions, Li Ying grew up slowly.

Sometimes Li Ying would see her mother in a daze, sitting on the sofa with empty eyes, staring at a branch outside the window, not saying a word for a long time.Occasionally, when she looked up and saw Li Ying, she would open her arms to him, "Come on baby, come to mommy." He would walk over slowly and anxiously, getting a hug that made him uneasy.Sometimes his mother's hug was just a hug, and sometimes the hug was fierce, like a cage from which he could not escape.Li Wenya hugged her son with red eyes and screamed loudly. "It's all because of you, it's all because of you that he left me!"

Li Wenya is an innocent girl who just came out of university and is easy to be deceived.She met the man in the library, who was sitting next to her reading a book on astronomy.Seeing her glance a few times, the man simply turned around and talked to her.His knowledge is profound, from the earth to the moon, from the galaxy to outer space.He talked about mankind's ambitious plan to land on the moon, and the possibility of the existence of creatures in outer space. He said that compared with the vast universe, human beings are really small and not worth mentioning.

When the man talked about Mars, he asked her, do you know what people called Mars in ancient times?

She shook her head.

It's called Yinghuo, that man said so, the ancients believed that Mars was a disaster star, when the astrology of Yinghuo guarding one's heart appeared in the night sky, it indicated that a catastrophe was about to come.

Ying Huo Shou Xin is her first impression of men.

She named her son Li Ying, thinking that he was also a disaster-causing star.

Li Ying's mother fell into her own hallucinations in her second year of junior high school and couldn't escape. She often cried and laughed loudly at night, and after crying, she yelled why you didn't come to pick me up.Finally, one afternoon, the sky was very blue and the wind was light. Li Ying, who came home from school, felt that her mother was very different today. She was wearing beautiful clothes and heavy makeup. She hadn’t done makeup for a long time.

Their family lived on the sixth floor, an old-fashioned community, without any protection measures, and many homes did not install anti-theft nets.

When Li Ying got home and put down her schoolbag, she heard his mother calling him.

"Baby, come here." Her smile was bright and moving, but Li Ying shivered.

As long as his mother calls him baby suddenly and affectionately, nothing good will happen.

He obediently walked over and stood one meter away from his mother.

"Do you know that mother loves you?" His mother's smile is like a devil, singing in the middle of the night, captivating people's souls.

Li Ying held the corner of her clothes and nodded.

His mother's smile became more alluring.

"You have to remember well, because no one in this world loves you except me." After she finished speaking, she looked out the window and muttered to herself nervously.

"You are mine, no one can take it away from me." Then she suddenly howled again. "No, no, I can't love you. If I love you, he will never come back. He said he would come to pick me up."

"Yes, he will come to pick me up." Li Wenya yelled at Li Ying, "It's all your fault! If only you had never been born!"

Li Wenya's teeth were chattering, her eyes were erratic, her hands didn't know where to put them, and she fumbled around at a loss.

"He's here to pick me up, he's here to pick me up." Li Wenya excitedly began to straighten her clothes and hair, her eyes widened, her body still trembling uncontrollably.

"Baby, Mom loves you." She smiled at Li Ying, and this smile kept appearing in Li Ying's dreams, which startled him to wake up in the middle of the night, covered in cold sweat.

Li Ying was lying on the bed, Gao Le hugged him sideways, and held him in his arms.

"Did she come up with your name?" Gao Le gently stroked Li Ying's hair with his fingers, afraid that he would not know who it was, and added, "Your mother."

Li Ying nodded, turned her body slightly, and hid in Gao Le's arms.His face was pressed against his chest, and he could feel the heat coming from him.

"What do you dream about at night?"

"I can dream of everything. I dream that she wakes me up at night. At three o'clock in the middle of the night, the sound of stones falling to the ground can be heard outside the window. She lies beside my ear and tells me mysteriously that there is a demon outside the window. I don't want to run around." Li Ying's voice was small, filled with grievance and pain.

"Actually, there are no demons at all. She is the demon in my dream."

Mom loves you.

At that time, she often bent over his ear with a nervous smile.

It is also a scene that often appears in Li Ying's dreams.

Gao Le lowered his head and kissed the top of Li Ying's hair.

"Don't listen to her nonsense. There are no demons in this world, and there is no such nonsense as nonsense that if you keep your heart, you will be in trouble." Gao Le set his chin, and the two looked at each other at a distance of ten centimeters. "Your name is Li Ying, the Ying of the firefly."

It seems that in the unmentioned dream, the courtyard was covered with apricot blossoms, and the black-haired boy stood in the shadow of the apricot blossoms and looked at himself through the fragrance of half of the courtyard.He walked over and grabbed the boy's shoulder, and the words he spoke were tender.

Gao Le in the dream didn't understand it, and Gao Le in reality was still confused, but he was determined and unwilling to change easily.

The firefly's firefly is not a jumping hot flame at all.

But Li Ying's eyes were still a little hot and humid.

"Are you angry in the bar because you are afraid that I will be the kind of half-hearted, half-hearted, careless person?"

Li Ying didn't answer right away, he turned his eyes away to look at the light from the desk lamp on the table beside Gaole. "I'm afraid that the more you understand me, the more you will hate me, and I'm afraid that you will leave me one day."

"How could it be?" Gao Le hugged him tighter and tighter. "The more I get to know you, the more I like you. I like you very much."

Having said that, the heavy atmosphere between the two people due to memories finally eased a little.Gao Le held Li Ying in his arms and refused to let go, like a treasure that was finally obtained, he didn't want to let go of it for a second, just wanted to hold him tightly in his arms.

"Is it okay not to take sleeping pills tonight?" Gao Lefu asked in Li Ying's ear.

Director Kang said that Li Ying has been taking more and more sleeping pills and diazepam recently.This is also the reason why Li Ying didn't want to stay at Gao Le's house, he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to sleep overnight and that he would scare Gao Le.

"I can't sleep." Li Ying snorted.

"If you can't sleep, I can coax you and pat you on the back. If the back pat doesn't work, I'll sing and tell stories. I've heard a lot of stories, more than One Thousand and One Nights. Do you want to hear them? I’ll tell you what it is, and if there’s really nothing you want to hear, I can make it up for you. If none of these methods work, I can chat with you and stay up late with you. If you don’t want to chat Let's just lie down, I said that I will be with you, and I won't let you face the long night alone." Boss Gao's arm was sore, he moved a little and continued.

"Anyway, I don't have a job and don't need to clock in. I'll stay with you until you feel sleepy."

"As long as you don't push me away, okay?"

Li Ying really had no other way, and Gao Le talked about it, blocking all her escape routes.Two people who like each other play chess, and the fight is about who will soften first, Li Ying feels that her heart has softened into cotton candy now, how can someone be so good at talking, every word is obviously not love, but it sounds like It warms my heart.

A heart was beating violently, but it was difficult to show a gratified expression on his face.

"You can do whatever you want." Li Ying said stiffly, and changed her posture slightly so that she could no longer be stiff and straighten up. He closed his eyes, moved towards Gao Le, and put his head in his arms.

Gao Le clearly saw the tears in the corner of his eyes.

"I said that from now on I won't let you alone, so I definitely won't let you alone. Believe me, I'm the most trustworthy person." Gao Le stroked Li Ying's forehead back and forth with his thumb, and then he Bending her neck, a light kiss landed on the corner of Li Ying's eyes.When the lips parted from the corners of the eyes, she stuck out her tongue and licked the tear with the tip of her tongue, Li Ying's body tightened suddenly.

"Don't be afraid, baby, I'm here."

Don't be afraid, the two words seem to have magical powers. It reminds him of his grandma's arms and lullabies when he was a child. Every night he can't sleep, she sings softly. In her out of tune lullaby, he gradually relaxes his body and gradually falls asleep. .

That was the first time that Li Ying didn't rely on sleeping pills to sleep.

He knew that there was a person beside him, and he had a pleasant ebony fragrance, very light and faint, and he couldn't smell it if he didn't smell it carefully, but this residual fragrance attracted him, and he wanted to get closer, closer, In the end, the whole person fell into an embrace, and locked himself tightly with his arms, as if he stepped into his dream.

No nightmares and no awakenings.

Finally, the devil beast dormant in the night left.

The author has something to say:

My sister: Boss Qiuqiu Gao stayed up a few more nights to love Dr. Li.

Me: Yes, yes, to meet your requirements.