healer love letter

Gao Le was also surprised when he received a call from Director Kang. Although he and Director Kang often met each other, their relationship was limited to acquaintances and nodding acquaintances.If there is any closer relationship, Director Kang didn't regard Gao Le as an outlier, and even gave him an assist in chasing Li Ying.

Director Kang made an appointment with a tea room not too far from the psychological counseling center.The light in the tea room is dim, and it is suitable for sitting together to say some heartfelt words.

As Boss Gao, who usually drinks more milk tea and coffee than tea, he knows very little about tea and lacks knowledge.He can't taste the quality of the tea. Occasionally, friends will bring him new tea when they come back from picking tea in the mountains. Gao Le only uses it as a throat water for taste.

When Gao Le left, Director Kang had already arrived. The tea room was filled with hot air and the aroma of tea was savory.

"Sit down, Xiao Le." Director Kang is old, and every time he sees Gao Le, he calls him Xiao Le instead of Xiao Gao, just like meeting a younger generation who is close to him.He held out his hand, signaling him to sit down. "This year's new tea, Lapsang Souchong, you try it."

Gao Le didn't know what kind of medicine was being sold behind Director Kang's smiling face, so he sat down calmly, with suspicion in his eyes that he would not let go easily.

After taking a sip of tea, the tea slipped down the throat. "I don't usually drink tea, it's bitter. I usually drink coffee with milk and sugar." Gao Le put down the teacup.

"Sometimes I'm used to eating sweet ones, and occasionally it's good to taste some bitter ones." Director Kang held the purple sand teacup and put it on the tip of his nose to smell it. His eyes were half-closed, as if enjoying the aroma.

"Does Director Kang have something to say to me?" Gao Le sat up a little bit more, crossed his legs, and leaned back.

"No rush." ​​Director Kang smiled. "Drink the tea first. The tea is very good. It's a pity that it's cold."

Gao Le was dubious, pinching the cup with a few fingers, looking at Director Kang from time to time.He secretly thought about what he was going to do.

When the pot of tea was almost empty, Director Kang put down the teacup and opened his mouth slowly.

"I asked you out because of Dr. Li's affairs." He folded his hands on his lap, sitting calmly.

Gao Le's heart twitched slightly when he heard Dr. Li's words.

"Although this is not in line with the professional ethics of our psychological counselors, Li Ying has been with me since he was very young. Recently, his situation is very unstable, and you have not appeared for a long time, so I suspect that these things have something to do with you. .”

"What do you mean?" Director Kang said that Li Ying had been with him since childhood, and that he had been emotionally unstable recently.Could it be, Gao Le asked not sure. "...Li Ying, is he your patient?"

"Yes." Director Kang nodded.

Li Ying he...

Gao Le found it unbelievable. Although Dr. Li sometimes felt indifferent, he never thought that Dr. Li himself had psychological problems.He helps visitors to solve various psychological problems every day, but he has no way to heal himself.

"Actually, as psychological counselors, we have some problems of our own, because we face the most negative emotions of the counselors every day and absorb too much energy. Over time, the counselors themselves will be infected by these emotions to a certain extent. , became, depressed or even worse." Director Kang's voice was calm, and it was easy to calm people down.He always had an approachable smile when he spoke, the kind of smile that made people feel at ease and reassured.

"Li Ying's situation is different. He has been with me since he was very young. At that time, he just entered junior high school and was very introverted." Director Kang turned his head slightly and looked down. "His mother's death hit him hard."

"His mother?" Li Ying never mentioned anything about his family, so Gao Le never knew that Li Ying grew up with his grandma. After his grandma passed away, he was single and grew up alone.

"Yes, did he never tell you this?"

"No." Gao Le put his left hand on the armrest, with his index finger and thumb stacked together.No, I have never heard Dr. Li say this.

"I think so. I keep telling him that he needs to go out and make more friends, but after so many years, he is still like this, walking alone, and there is no friend who can talk to him." Dr. Kang shook his head lightly. . "When he wanted to study psychology in college, I advised him that he wasn't suitable for it. He was too depressed. He kept a lot of things in his heart and didn't want to share them with others."

"Actually, I liked you when I first met you. You and Li Ying are like two magnets. You are not similar, but you are very suitable for each other."

The tea room is simple and elegant, simple and solemn, with elegant decoration and color matching, and clean lines, which has the color of a traditional Chinese tea room.There are splash-ink landscape paintings on the wall, and a pair of official script calligraphy hanging in the middle, with the inscription "He Jing Yi Zhen".The tea soup was cooling down slowly, like Gao Le's mood at this time.He chased Dr. Li for three months without knowing anything about his family or his upbringing.Only now did Boss Gao understand how arrogant and self-willed he is.

I don't know what Dr. Li has experienced since he was a child, and how he grew up step by step to become what he is now.

The way he likes it.

"You said his mother's death hit him hard, how did his mother die?" Gao Le asked Director Kang.

"Suicide"

suicide.

His mother actually committed suicide.

Gao Le is 32 this year. Since he was a child, he has seen suicide cases in the news and counted them on his fingers, but he has never heard of someone committing suicide around him, and he has never experienced such things.

As a mother, she abandoned her son to commit suicide, why?

"Huh?" Gao Le lost his voice in surprise.

"In front of him."

"Ah??!!!" My heart seemed to be pinched by someone, and my heart ached.

Li Ying witnessed her mother's death with her own eyes. In Gao Le's view, this will definitely become a nightmare that a child will never forget.Perhaps Dr. Li woke up in the middle of the night many times, dreaming of his mother's appearance when she committed suicide.

Regarding the suicide of Li Ying's mother, Dr. Kang could only go so far. He came to Gaole City today to help Li Ying, but he has no right to disclose all these private matters that belong to him.

"Unless he is willing to tell you, it's inconvenient for me to say anything else."

Dr. Kang said that Li Ying is actually not a qualified psychological counselor. Although he is very hardworking, he is proficient in counseling techniques and the basic theories of psychological schools.

"But in fact, Li Ying's empathy ability is very poor." Empathy is a professional term in psychological counseling. Gao Le didn't understand it very well, and frowned. Director Kang further explained.

"To help counselors, counselors need to establish a good counseling relationship with them. Generally speaking, this requires counselors to respect the counselors, accept them unconditionally, and then show their enthusiasm and attitude towards them. Talk to them sincerely. One of the most important skills for the counselor to understand the heart of the help-seeker is empathy. Empathy means that the counselor uses the words and deeds of the help-seeker to empathize deeply into the other person’s heart to experience his emotions and thinking, and to think in his shoes The psychological state of the help-seeker." He paused and continued.

"For example, if you cry bitterly because of a broken relationship, maybe your friend will comfort you and say that you want to open up and everything will pass. But empathy requires this person to come to you and accept all your emotions. He understands your pain and sorrow, so he will not persuade you to think about it, but will sit by your side silently and share your pain and sorrow. When you are willing to speak to him, he will become a competent listener. Guide you step by step out of the haze of broken love."

Gale bowed his head in thought. "You mean, Li Ying can't empathize with those who seek help?"

"Probably that's what it means. His isolation sometimes makes help-seekers feel uncomfortable and feel that they haven't received the attention they deserve."

Gao Le understood and nodded.

"In fact, Li Ying has been relying on sleeping pills to maintain his sleep. He often has nightmares, dreaming of her mother. Since you appeared, his sleep has improved a lot, and the number of times he came to me has become less and less. But since half A month ago, he started to have a tendency to depression, and he also started to take paroxetine hydrochloride, and the dosage of sleeping pills was getting bigger and bigger. When he came to me for consultation, he was very emotionally unstable, and I think something must have induced his negative emotions.”

"I've thought about it for a long time, and combined with the fact that you haven't had this situation in the past few weeks, I think the fact that his condition has deteriorated may have something to do with you."

"With me?" Gao Ye stared.

"I think Li Ying is more dependent on you than you imagined?"

"Depend on me?" Gao Le felt inconceivable. Li Ying hadn't told him what she wanted, let alone a word of liking. How could Dr. Kang say that he relied on him.Gao Le shook his head with a smile, but saw that there was no sign of a joke on Dr. Kang's face.

"Li Ying is a good boy. It is not in line with the professional ethics of our psychological counselors that I rashly came to you today, but the rule is that the dead are alive. I hope you will give him a hand and help him out of that nightmare."

Gao Le couldn't smile anymore, because there was a serious expression of sincerity and entrustment on the face of the elderly man in front of him.

"...Okay, I'll try."

Gao Le and Li Ying are looking at each other. The ceiling of the bedroom is a chandelier that can change color. Gao Le turns on a warm light, without the glare of an incandescent lamp. The warm yellow light can also add a little charm to the atmosphere, and draw the two of them into heart distance.

"Would you like to talk to me?" Gao Le stretched out his hand, slowly grasped Dr. Li's wrist, pulled him gently to the side of the bed, and sat down.He knelt down to help Li Ying take off his slippers, and supported his legs on the bed.Li Ying is like a puppet, at the mercy of Gao Le, his eyes are dull, and he is blank.

"Doctor Li?" Gao Le called him.

Li Ying moved, but still didn't speak.

Gao Le saw great sadness rushing towards Li Ying, with the momentum to overwhelm him.At this moment, he seemed to see Li Ying, who lived countless days and nights many years ago. He was alone, lonely and pitiful.Maybe he used to be like this too, sitting on the bed with blank eyes, only a light above his head silently accompanied him.

The sadness that came out of Li Ying's heart slowly wound around and penetrated into Gao Le's heart.His heart twitched, and he mourned along with Li Ying.

Li Ying opened her mouth, her voice was hoarse.

"Sometimes I suddenly lose hope in life, especially the sudden one. One second I was working hard, and the next second I want to hug my head and cry. Think about it, life is so decades, you work hard and live seriously At most, they eat better than others and drink better. In the end, everyone will die. They will be taken to the crematorium and burned to ashes, and they will be scattered on the ground like garbage. "

"How scary, you study so hard, work hard, and work hard for the future, but your future is a handful of dirt, isn't it funny?"

Li Ying slowly curled up her legs, wrapped her arms around her legs, and rested her chin on her knees.He just hugged himself like this, with sadness in his eyes.

"You said, why do people live and work hard? What's the use of hard work?"

He looked lonely and sad, only his voice echoed in the room, Gao Le was sitting so close to him, obviously he could hug him as soon as he stretched out his hand, but he felt so far away, as if he might disappear at any time, turning into Be like thousands of dissipated fireflies, scattered and flying.

"I'm very afraid, especially afraid of being alive. When my mother died in front of me, he said you have to remember that no one in this world loves you, only me. Mom loves you. She put on special makeup that day, everyone Red lips, sitting by the window, her long hair flying in the wind. She smiled at me, I will never forget that smile in my life, she said that mother loves you, and then jumped down sideways. "

"When I went down, she was already out of breath. There were many people around her, and I couldn't squeeze through. Maybe I didn't dare to go through because of fear. I just peeked through the crowd." Li Ying began to choke up. , There were crystal tears swaying in his eyes, as if they would roll down in the next second, a huge one.

"A lot of blood, Boss Gao, do you know that the color of human blood is very dark, and the color will become darker when it solidifies, it's scary."

"I had nightmares for weeks."

Gao Le suddenly moved, he threw himself to Li Ying's side, hugged him tightly in his arms, and wanted to use this hug to join him.

"Stop talking." Gao Le patted Li Ying's back with his hand, and helped her straighten her back.

Li Ying in his arms shed tears, but he continued to speak.Open up your own old wounds, and let the people you like see how much youthful sadness is hidden inside.

"I'm scared, I can't close my eyes. After so many years, I'm really scared."

"My mother left me a mark of love, carrying all the fears I had when I was young. Therefore, all the love from books and other people's mouths can't move me, because I will be afraid."

Gao Le hugged Li Ying, and tremblingly kissed the top of his head, then the corners of his brows and eyes, and then his lips, gently like a small flower blooming at night.He called his name, over and over.He said don't be afraid, there is me, I am always there.

Li Ying was angry at first, and her scars were bloody uncovered, as if she had been stripped naked and thrown into the blue sky, without any privacy or any place to hide.Then there is sadness. If he can feel love like ordinary people, maybe his life can be very different.In the back is gratitude, gratitude for Gao Le's appearance, gratitude for him holding my hand, gratitude for his willingness to hug him and kiss him after hearing all this.

Li Ying's crying became louder and louder, and finally became a cry of grief.

"Just cry." Gao Le patted Li Ying's back.

"Dr. Kang said that your job is to heal. To explain it in one word, it is heal rather than fix. Heal has feelings, and fix is ​​just a repair like a tool. When you heal others, you will leave some shallow or Deep marks." His arms tightened a little more, and delicate kisses fell on the back of Li Ying's ears and neck. "I used to watch American TV dramas and gangster movies. My favorite sentence is igot your back. When the police are handling a case, they will say this sentence to their companions who support them. It means that I am here, and you don't have any worries. You have me behind you."

"Li Ying." Gao Le pulled Li Ying from his shoulders and held her in his hands. This beautiful face was weeping with tears, and the usual indifference disappeared, replaced by endless sadness and pain.

"I'm right behind you, and you'll leave all the wounds you can't heal on your own to me."

"Don't be afraid, I'm here, always."

"Don't have any worries, just go forward boldly."

The author has something to say:

Today is a day to cry for Dr. Lee.