【Love and Producer】Behind

For the third time, I mechanically pulled out the failed math test paper from the belly of the desk, supported my head and sighed.Thinking that this semester began to require parents to sign all test papers, I suddenly felt that the sky was falling apart.

"My mother said last month that I won't do well in the exam, so I will ask her friend's daughter to tutor me after class..."

My friend took away from my pen the draft paper that was almost full of a page, and it was all signed by my mother whom I tried to imitate, but the similarity was worrying.

"Just that all-round college student?"

I nodded and looked up to the sky again and let out a long sigh, this time I'm afraid it's really going to be a tragedy.

"Kneeling in mathematics for three months, you are also very good..."

I took back the draft paper angrily, folded it in half several times, then crumpled the paper and threw it on the table. Then I smiled helplessly, "Tsk, I have to make up English on weekends..."

After I finished speaking, I pressed my face to the cold table, blew on the ball of paper a few times, and poked and rolled it back and forth several times with my fingers.

My friend grabbed the ball of paper from in front of me, paused, then raised his hand and waved it. The ball of paper drew a beautiful parabola in mid-air, hit the wall in the corner of the classroom, bounced slightly, and landed impartially. Into the wastebasket.

"So... you're just desperate to make up lessons?"

She glanced at her friend who had a meaningful expression, and she could always easily see through her.I turned my head and put my forehead against the solid tabletop. In front of my eyes were some dim school pants that had been washed. After a while, I silently closed my eyes.

Not long ago, the news that the college entrance examination policy will be changed next year has been confirmed, although the specific changes will not be announced until after the college entrance examination this year.But as we who are going to experience the next college entrance examination system for the first time, the school is very focused on the whole second grade at the beginning of the second half of the semester.I even think that I might not be as tired as I am now when I am in my third year of high school!

Due to the heavy study pressure and the tighter and tighter management at home, I have no way to follow Bai Qi and Han Ye to be chic.

In fact, I haven't seen Bai Qi for a whole week.

According to Han Ye's gossip, Bai Qi asked for leave and went home.Looking at me with an unbelievable face, Han Ye was very calm, and then said, maybe he wants to discuss the college entrance examination with his family.After a while, I nodded in agreement and regained my calm.

If I had been born a year earlier, I would be in my third year of high school by now.When this idea popped out of my mind, I was really taken aback by myself.But after thinking about it, there seems to be nothing wrong...

This day, when I was walking back to the classroom from the toilet, my aunt ran into a classmate who was just about to come out, in a somewhat trance-like relationship.After apologizing, I simply stayed in the corridor for a while, and I really didn't want to enter the classroom so early.

On the opposite floor is the third year of high school, and Bai Qi's classroom is the second to last classroom from right to left, which I am very familiar with.Beginning this semester, the senior three students basically stayed in the classroom doing exercises silently, looking at the empty corridors, I hope next year I will not be so depressed...

Just as he was thinking about it, he saw a familiar light brown head slowly emerge from the stairs on the right, and the sleepy hair that was a little upturned was shaking gently on the top of the head, which was indescribably cute.

Bai Qi habitually took a few random glances at the first floor below me while walking, maybe... he was also looking forward to something like me.

He slowly turned his head to the side to look back, but after walking a few steps, he suddenly stopped, turned around and looked here.I straightened my body in an instant, and my originally scattered thoughts gathered together.Did he see me?After hesitating for a moment, I instinctively raised my hand and waved to him...

Although it is impossible to see Bai Qi's expression clearly from this distance, he seems to be nodding slightly to me...

When the class bell rang, I felt much happier when I got back to my seat. I don’t know when I was so easily satisfied.

I glanced at the opposite floor again, wondering how Bai Qi would fill in his volunteers in the future?

……

Time is like a microcosm, and it often fades away before people react.

Uncle Security pulled over the mobile blackboard standing at the school gate, erased the number 4, and changed the blackboard to read "Countdown to the college entrance examination in 3 days".

From the first class every day, I began to hope that the time would pass quickly, at least I could have a little bit of fun in the summer vacation.But when the end of the semester is approaching, I suddenly and contradictoryly hope that time will pass slowly, why do I worry about gains and losses...

It should be reading and reading stupid!When I was almost walking home, I suddenly remembered that the blackboard exercises that the teacher would collect tomorrow were still caught in the last notebook that was full.After struggling with the meeting, I recalled that there were quite a lot of questions. I gave up the idea of ​​calling my friends to ask questions at night, turned around and went back to school.

Uncle security guard opened the door, but when he found the notebook in the belly of the table, he found that he had torn off the piece of paper on which the question was copied and put it in a new notebook.I'm going to be stupid to death by myself, I'm so close to dying on the spot...

Sighing several times, he walked down the teaching building slowly.I haven't noticed much before, but the leaves of ginkgo trees in early summer are emerald green, lush and full of vitality.

Last year's late autumn suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, golden fan leaves were flying in the wind, and Han Ye and I walked behind Bai Qi.A piece of ginkgo leaf was attached to Bai Qi's hair, and the slender end partially penetrated into his hair. After Bai Qi reached out and took it off, he put it in his palm and looked at it for a long time.

I stopped suddenly, was it an illusion?How did I really see Bai Qi.At this moment, he is standing under the ginkgo tree, overlapping with the picture in his memory just now...

Are you waiting for someone?

After dawdling for a while, I finally couldn't help but walked over slowly.Probably hearing the sound of footsteps, Bai Qi was slightly shocked, and the hands that were originally encircling him were loosened and then hung steadily on both sides of his body.He turned around, his amber eyes were full of radiance, but after seeing my face clearly, they gradually dimmed.

The feet seemed to be fixed in place and could not move. Although he seemed to understand something in his heart, he couldn't express it in words.

In the silence, I heard the wind blowing the leaves and making the sound of rinsing. The early summer wind brought a little warmth, and the palms of my clenched hands gradually got wet.

Bai Qi, who had been in the same position for a long time, finally moved his shoulders and neck, then took a step with his left hand in his pocket, and whispered "Let's go..." as he walked slowly past me

It's a muffler I've never heard before.

"But!" I bit my lip and said falteringly, "You...should be...waiting for her, right?"

Bai Qi's footsteps paused for a moment, and then he continued to walk forward without a trace, his usual plain tone was soaked with loss that could not be hidden...

"She won't come."

But even if she won't come, you still like her.

I have a lot of questions in my mind that I want to ask, such as the volunteers to fill out, such as future plans, such as the wound on my arm and the Band-Aid on my chin...but I can't ask them all.He could only silently follow behind Bai Qi with his head lowered like a shadow, his eyes fixed on his steady pace, as if he would lose it if he didn't pay attention.

It's really strange, it was just two strangers at first, but now he can easily manipulate my emotions.It turns out that one person can bring such a great meaning to another person's life...

"Why do you think so much, isn't it better to follow your own mind?"

The words that my friend once said flashed in my mind.

own mind...

I've always felt that as long as I don't say it out loud, I don't need to muster up such a lot of courage, and I can keep following him in this state.

But at this moment, I had the illusion that it was too late, and every step he took seemed to be counting down.

I raised my head and suppressed the soreness in the corner of my eyes.The rush hour road is full of traffic, and the horns of the vehicles are mixed with the whistles of the traffic police.The green signal light on the sidewalk flickered a few times, then bang and jumped to red.After taking a deep breath, I tightly held the schoolbag straps on both sides of my shoulders with trembling hands, as if trying to use up all my strength...

"Bai Qi!" It was the first time he called out his full name so solemnly and firmly.

"I…"

I like you.

I like Bai Qi, very, very much.

……

There will probably be a few fragments or moments in your life that you would trade anything for another chance to do it again.

Occasionally I think of that evening, the evening when I called Bai Qi to stop and confessed to him.

But in fact, when I came back to my senses, I found myself standing in front of my house.At that time, I was stunned in place, unable to think and react.It wasn't until the sudden rain showers in summer and the thunder rang in my ears that I was fully awake and dragged my distraught body into the house.

Maybe...that evening was just my hallucination or imagination?

In the following days, I never saw Bai Qi again.

Accompanied by the boring high school life all day, it made me a little numb.Until the end of the college entrance examination, I still had no sense of reality.

On the second day of the teacher appreciation banquet, my friend took me to celebrate the end of my high school career, and asked me to accompany her to dye her hair, and then have a good indulgence.

I looked around at the heads covered with dyed ointment, and suddenly felt a sudden whim.After looking through the swatches, I couldn't find the color I wanted.I called the technician and described to him what I want, yes, it is the soft light brown color.

However, after two hours of treatment, the effect is not ideal.It should be that I can see my slightly disappointed expression, and the technician is trying to ease my emotions.

The technician asked, why did he want to get that color, and where did he see it.

I smiled bitterly, because there is a person with this hair color.

The young apprentice who was on the sidelines naively interjected, you can ask that person to come along, so that you can know what color it is!

I looked at his innocent expression, didn't answer, just quietly looked at myself in the mirror who was a little strange.If it wasn't for that person, I definitely wouldn't be where I am now.

However, I can no longer go back to my original self.

Having a good memory is sometimes not a good thing, it would be nice if you could forget something and start over.

I tensed my face, tried my best not to lose my composure in public, and tried to pull a subtle smile in front of the mirror, but it was completely useless.

Right now, I should be the most embarrassing person in the whole world, to just shed tears in the barbershop regardless of my image.

There is a person who appeared in my life without warning, but suddenly left without being able to resist.And I still can't forget the scene of the first encounter for a long time.

The fragments about Bai Qi in my mind rushed to appear in front of my eyes.From his cold and alienated expression at the beginning, to his soft and warm eyes later.

I suddenly realized that some things, the more I deliberately hide them, the deeper I get into them.

Those moments, those moments, and that person are still shining in my heart at this moment...