Inhabit you as a forest

"Don't tell me you're sorry, in your opinion, you are doing it for my own good."

Concealment and deception, Wen Lian did not stay out of it.She was betting on herself, and she didn't seek anything, she just wanted the two of them to be together.

As long as Sheng Qi doesn't mind and pretends to be stupid, indeed, this is the peaceful life she dreams of.

However, Wen Lian was cut by Sheng Qi's words one by one, and he didn't even have the qualification to say "I'm sorry".

She really doesn't qualify.She was unwilling to confess her illness, and she wished to see Sheng Qi as a person who lacked love and was easy to coax.

Now I finally can't hide it anymore, or rather, Sheng Qi didn't believe it from the beginning.

Sheng Qi gave her a chance, and Wen Lian also understood that it was a temptation, but she still didn't dare to cut herself open.

"It's selfish to do things that make people feel uncomfortable under the banner of being a good person."

Sheng Qi looked at her.

Wen Lian said to himself, "I have also become this kind of person."

Is what she did really for Sheng Qi? If Sheng Qi doesn't ask this time, can they really go on smoothly?

Not necessarily, these things will be discovered sooner or later, and she can't hide them for long.She just hoped that before that, Sheng Qi could have a carefree time with her.

She thought she could hide it for a little longer, not a year or two, maybe half a year.

When Sheng Qi gets used to living with her and relies on her enough, maybe he won't pursue it.

Who knew it would be so fast.

It wasn't long before Sheng Qi forgave her. Recently, Sheng Qi had been immersed in the grief of her grandma's death, but she showed her feet at this time.

Misfortune will always be with her.

Sheng Qi was full of grievances and had nowhere to go. When she learned that Wen Lian dropped out of school because of a bad mental state, she couldn't bear to talk about it.

During the months lying in bed after the car accident, she was almost tortured into depression, and she knew what it was like.And Wen Lian will only be in more pain than she was then.

They sat face to face for a long time, and when Wen Lian arrived home, it was already dark.It's getting late now.

When Han Ruohua called, Wen Lian hung up immediately. She didn't want to listen to her mother at this time.

The second call came soon, and Sheng Qi didn't want her to hang up anymore, so he said, "Just answer it, don't make her worry."

Wen Lian listened to her and connected.

Han Ruohua tentatively asked her what happened just now, and she said something was wrong.So they urged them to go over there to eat, but Wen Lian was not in the mood and asked her to eat first.

Feeling that her tone was not right, cold and indifferent, Han Ruohua asked, "Are you at Xiao Sheng's place?"

It stands to reason that Xiao Sheng would be in a better mood and would not speak like this.

"Yes, we're talking about something, you don't need to worry about it." Wen Lian hung up the phone after finishing speaking, trying to suppress the impatience and anxiety in his heart.

Sheng Qi observed her emotional ups and downs.

Although Wen Lian would talk about her mother's words, she had already noticed that Wen Lian was actually not that obedient.Instead, Han Ruohua was cautious and followed his daughter's wishes.

Sheng Qi didn't take it seriously before, he just thought that Han Ruohua was getting older and doting on children more than before.

And Wen Lian was at work, so she was embarrassed to get close to her mother in front of outsiders, so she looked hot and cold.

Sheng Qi lowered his eyes: "Does your mother really know that we are in love?"

"I told her I would be with you."

"She knew it first, did you tell her, or did she discover it? Don't lie to me." Sheng Qi asked in a deep voice.

Wen Lian didn't dare to lie anymore, she was afraid to annoy Sheng Qi again, so she didn't even have a chance to talk: "I found out in high school."

really.

"Then you were cut off from me, and you were not allowed to contact me. So you deliberately said bad things to drive me away."

Wen Lian defaulted.

"But as long as you want, you can contact me at the university. Even if I change the contact information, you can find me as long as you want. But you didn't look for me. You completely gave up on me for your mother."

Sheng Qi stated the facts calmly.

"Yes."

But at the beginning, I was afraid of returning to despair, fearing that despair would return to despair. After all, I was a child, and I had the idea of ​​obedience and obedience.

Pretend to separate from Sheng Qi first, and then reconnect with the university.When her mother can't control her, she will be more self-willed.

But that parting was very unpleasant, and she didn't know why, so she couldn't stop the harsh words.

The subconscious is forcing her to cut her own way.

—— "Wen Lian, do I go to the Internet cafe just to play games? Seeing Wang Zhengyin means supporting him? Why don't you scold me after asking clearly? Because you are not angry at these bad things at all. You came to argue with me, belittle Me, saying that I am hopeless, it’s just because you didn’t get the first place in the monthly exam. You can’t stand it, you think I’ve influenced you, right?”

She watched Sheng Qi cry, and suddenly felt that she was not worthy of obedience, letting Sheng Qi wait, and not being self-willed.

The ugly words came out, she completed her mother's task, but lost the light in her heart.

But she still keeps Sheng Qi in her heart, imagining that they can get back together.

She didn't plan to see Sheng Qi completely, she didn't plan to get rid of Sheng Qi, she would meet again at school in the future, right, maybe there will be a turning point in the future.She stubbornly thought so.

It's not that she is really heartless, hurting others without knowing it, but she doesn't think so, she can't hold on.

Until she knew that grandma Sheng Qi had passed away, Sheng Qi left.

Her delusions were over, too.

So what about the university connection, what about those years of self-willedness, she will still choose her mother sooner or later.

She can't run away in this life.

"How did you get your mother to accept me?"

After Sheng Qi asked, she got the answer first, "Or she didn't accept it at all, but she just couldn't say no. She hopes you are in a better mood and in a stable state, right?"

Sheng Qi doesn't have Wen Lian's brains when it comes to learning, but she can be Wen Lian's teacher when it comes to figuring out people.

She is right, it is too difficult to change a person's mind.Wen Lian couldn't convince her mother to accept that it's not shameful for girls to be with girls, and they can be happy.

She just scares her mother and has to compromise.

She knew she was unfilial.

She couldn't give her mother a son-in-law who was decent enough to show off to colleagues and relatives, and she couldn't let her enjoy family happiness and be an ordinary mother who was proud of her daughter.

She had heard her mother cry in the room at night, and she was probably crying about the misfortune of her own life. She lost her husband in her youth, her middle-aged daughter got sick, and her old age was not worth looking forward to.

Just like when she was out of school, her mother answered dozens of questions about why her daughter was at home, why she was sick, and whether it was serious or not.Answer once, embarrass once.

In the next few decades, she will have to accept and even deal with other people's doubts. Why doesn't her daughter marry and stay at home?

For such a strong person, this is simply too late.

Wen Lian understands her reluctance and can understand her, but she doesn't want to wrong herself to cater to her anymore.

She liked Sheng Qi before, but she couldn't accept other people's feelings.Even if you accept it, it won't be a boy.

Whenever she pondered whether to give up on herself and compromise for her mother one more time, two voices came out of her body.Tear her thoughts apart, burn her sobriety.

Insomnia, auditory hallucinations, and anxiety made her confused and tense.

And the drugs made her unresponsive and her thoughts froze.

Probably her appearance was really unattractive, her mother was frightened, and then she followed her wishes everywhere.

"So..." Sheng Qi was so speechless that he couldn't even smile.

So she is just a "blind medicine", which can make Wen Lian happy, so she can be used.Everything about taking care of her for her grandma and liking her character are all false words.

A mother wants to use her to please her daughter.

She is a tool.

Handmade dumplings, every meal, is for Wen Lian to see.

If one day, Wen Lian doesn't need her anymore, will Han Ruohua treat her well?

Won't.People are very realistic, and when they don't need her, they will kick the extra her away.

She used to envy Wen Lian, and she still does now. She likes to run to her house and watch Han Ruohua take care of her and tell her.But she also understands that no matter how good someone else's mother is, it belongs to someone else, so what is she?

The KFC that day meant Wen Lian.

The phrase "raising one daughter is raising, and raising two is raising" is an unavoidable step backward.When Han Ruohua said this, he might be bleeding in his heart, hating her for turning Wen Lian into a homosexual who likes women.

Only Sheng Qi took it seriously, really thought that she would have a mother from now on.

"No reason."

Wen Lian interrupted her, "Take this matter as a difficult problem, and it is enough to figure out the answer, and we don't care about the process anymore."

"But if the process is not well written, points will be deducted. You are such a top student, you don't want to be deducted even a point. Although I am a scumbag, I can't just look at the results. When I know how bad the process is. "

Sheng Qi couldn't continue acting in a happy reunion drama without any grievances.

Wen Lian was speechless, silent for a long time, and then said in a low voice: "But the question is too difficult, most of the students will leave it blank, as long as we don't score zero, we will win."

These words seemed to be said to Sheng Qi, but also to herself.

There is a point to what she said.

But if the truth is useful, human beings would have stopped doing stupid things and repeating the same mistakes.

Sheng Qi was exhausted, and she didn't want to talk about the details of the past. After she understood those processes, she felt pain instead.

Wen Lian's consideration was right.

It's just a pity that I couldn't lie to her for the rest of my life.

She asked cautiously, "Are you feeling better now?"

Although it looked good, she was afraid that Wen Lian was holding on.

From Wen Lian's expression, it could be seen that she was resistant to mentioning the suspension of school. Sheng Qi didn't want to poke people's scars and ask, but she couldn't ignore it, she was worried.

Seeing Sheng Qi's doubts, she was eager to explain to her: "It's been a long time ago, I have worked hard to adjust. You misunderstood the time when I was in love. The reason why I posted on Moments every day was to tell myself the good things in life. A lot, but I didn’t feel it when I was sick. Later, I recovered slowly, and I didn’t need to take medicine for two years.”

Sheng Qi's eyes dimmed, his heart was pulled, and he threw it to the ground.It turns out that when it comes to seeing a doctor and taking medicine, that's right, it's impossible to recover simply by recuperating.

Her expression made Wen Lian's heart tighten, and she became even more flustered, "You don't have to worry about me relapse or something, we can fall in love like a normal couple. No matter if it's a quarrel or something, don't have any pressure."

Sheng Qi was willing to believe what she said.

"I won't live here in the future, can I?"

Hearing this, Wen Lian was stunned, then stood up abruptly, put his hands on the table, and leaned closer to her.

"If you want to move out, do you want to live farther away, or..." She paused, struggling to organize her words, "Leave Yujiang, leave me."

She asked Sheng Qi at a loss, she didn't want to live here anymore, and she didn't want to be used as a tool to co-star.

But leave, where can you go if you leave.

She likes Wen Lian, she can't deny that.

Just as Wen Lian expected, she was greedy for her current life and longed for warmth.

So even if he was dumped before, he could let go after Wen Lian apologized.

She knew she was worthless.

Even now, she is not willing to say ugly words.

For eight years, she was wandering and Wen Lian was sick.She needs stability, and Wen Lian needs peace.

It was hard for them to be together.

And she didn't want to make a decision at this time, her thoughts were disordered, and it would only be bad to talk about it any longer.

"I'll think about it, and let's talk about it."

She is hiding.

Wen Lian allowed her to hide, but she couldn't accept that she might leave at any time, she was fed up.

The tone was more anxious and tough than before, "Why do you think, you really want to leave me? Just because I know I have been sick, my mother has no choice but to accept us?"

"It has nothing to do with your illness." Seeing that she cared a lot, Sheng Qi comforted her while feeling uncomfortable.

"But I can't get along with your mother."

When Han Ruohua forced the teenage Wen Lian to break up with her, how much he must have disliked her.It's really not easy to do this now.

"You blame her."

The moisture in Wen Lian's eyes could no longer be suppressed, and the tears she had stored fell from them, "But I only hate myself, I hate my cowardice, incompetence, selfishness, and my greed."

Seeing her crying, Sheng Qi hurriedly got up from the chair, took out a tissue and wiped it for her, "Let's have a good talk, don't cry."

She was afraid of seeing tears, it would disturb her.

However, Wen Lian's emotions reached their peak, and the words he kept in his heart came out all at once.It doesn't care about causal logic, or what Sheng Qi thinks.

"Because I'm greedy, I want everything, so I get sick. I want good grades, but I also want to relax. I chose my mother, and I suffer from losing you."

"Before you ignored me, I wanted to confess to you that I was afraid to see you because I was sick. But I couldn't do it. I didn't want to exchange my pain for anything. I didn't want you to sympathize with me because I was sick. Me, like I don't want my mother to wrong herself because I'm sick."

"When I was the most ill, I never thought of threatening her to force her to accept that I like women. When I was the most tired, I didn't dare to die. Instead, I wanted to live a more active life."

"You can hate me, or you can hate my mother. If you don't want to live here, live somewhere else."

There was pleading in her tearful eyes: "But if we want to move together, don't give up on me, okay? Don't you like me?"

"I like you."

Sheng Qi went around, cried, and hugged Wen Lian tightly, like hugging a broken self.

Wen Lian was more difficult, more painful, and needed her more than she thought.

"I won't give up easily, but I want to be quiet, and you should too. We can't talk any more, we can't cry."

Sheng Qi wiped away his tears, and then gently coaxed her until she stopped crying.Send her out and let her go home for dinner.

Naturally, she would not go to Cengfan anymore, and cooked bun noodles casually.

As soon as Xu Tongtong's news came, Sheng Guangming called her, "The old man is gone, come back and take a look, otherwise I will say you are rude."

Before Sheng Qimian was in his mouth, he laughed, "When your mother died, your wife and your little daughter didn't come back, did you remind them to be polite?"

Sheng Guangming exploded after hearing this, Sheng Qi was too lazy to quarrel with him, turned off his phone and ate the instant noodles one bite at a time.

Why should she be polite, why should others like her.

Those who liked her because of her politeness didn't really like her in the first place, and she was tired of pretending.

But after she finished eating the noodles, she still didn't know what to do here.

She is complicated and hypocritical, and she is helpless.

The next day she told Wen Lian, "I'm going back to Province Y."