not sad planet

The day before the move, Yu Ling came to this dilapidated community near the airport for the last time, where he and Liang Shu had rented together.

When they were about to move out, they heard from the doorman that the place would be demolished soon, and the demolition office had come several times.But now, several years have passed, and the surrounding tall buildings have already risen from the ground, but the demolition has just been put on hold, and there has been no confidence.

There was a new tenant living in that rental house, so Yu Ling just stood at the gate of the community for a while.

The old man in the guard room poked his head out to greet him: "Xiao Yu is here again!"

There is a vigorous pot of fortune tree by the window sill, which is the pot that I didn't take when I moved.

He and Liang Shu were not good at taking care of flowers and plants, and bought a lot of green plants, but they couldn't escape the fate of raising them to death.At that time, the fortune tree was in a dying state, its branches and leaves were withered and yellow, and they thought they could not keep it alive, so how could they have imagined that it would come back to life in the end.

Yu Ling and Liang Shu are both familiar faces at the doorman's place.Needless to say, Liang Shu had a sweet mouth and would greet him every time he passed by the guard room. Over time, the uncle remembered him.Yu Ling didn't have this habit, but once the plastic bottle that my uncle had worked so hard to fill in the sack rolled down on the ground, and Yu Ling who was passing by helped him pick it up.

He witnessed them going in and out of the community together a few times, and after asking out of curiosity, he found out that the two were roommates.

One morning after that, he got up at night, glanced out of the window inadvertently, and then saw those two people and an unforgettable scene.One person was wearing a suit, probably just came back from work, the other person was wearing pajamas casually, with disheveled hair, the taller person walked back with the shorter person in his arms, and stopped after a few steps. The black light is blind, just standing under the tree without anyone and kissing.

So he discovered another layer of their relationship, but no one told.

Before moving away, Yu Ling went downstairs with a lot of unnecessary things and was going to throw them in the trash can, but the uncle happened to bump into him.

The uncle is used to living frugally, and couldn't help nagging: "Hey, you young people, you don't know how to cherish things when your living conditions are good. Look, this cabinet is still in good condition, and this... It's a waste to throw it away. Come on. Come, give me anything else you don't want."

So Yu Ling and Liang Shu brought some old furniture in good condition and put them at the door of the guard room.

The last is the pot of little fortune tree.

"Shouldn't this tree be abandoned?" Liang Shu asked, "It's almost dead."

"Where is it dead!" the uncle said anxiously, "It can still be fed. You don't know how to feed it, you don't usually take care of it? Give it to me, put it on the window sill, I can feed it."

After that they left here.People move out, and soon new tenants move in, and the last thing the city needs are outsiders who need to rent.The fate between people is very shallow, so he didn't expect to have the opportunity to meet Yu Ling in the future.

Yu Ling came alone.It may be that he wanted to go back to the old house on a whim, so the uncle kindly told him that there was a new tenant in that house, and he could see lights in the windows at night.

Yu Ling didn't go in after hearing the words.

The uncle asked him again why he came by himself and why the object didn't follow.

Yu Ling froze for a moment, as if surprised why he knew about their relationship.But he didn't ask in the end, just said gloomily that something was wrong.

The uncle said: "It's a big deal, you can coax it."

Yu Ling just laughed: "I'm coaxing."

For a long time, Yu Ling didn't come again, the uncle thought they should have reconciled, until now, he came here alone again.

"Not reconciled yet?"

Yu Ling lowered his eyebrows and said, "After reconciling and quarreling, we broke up."

"...Why do you break up and reconcile like a joke? How old are you?"

The uncle couldn't see it, and gave him two tricks based on the experience of those who have experienced it, and finally comforted him:

"It's okay, my wife and I used to quarrel all the time, and we've been on and off for so many years. As long as the relationship is still there, I'm not afraid." But his wife has passed away for several years.

Yu Ling listened expressionlessly, his eyes flushed slightly.

"Ouch!" The uncle was really taken aback. Why is such a big man crying because he quarreled with his partner, "What the hell did he do to you? Otherwise, don't coax him every time you quarrel. He's coming for you."

Yu Ling was silent for a while, then smiled silently: "What if he doesn't come?"

"No, I think he still likes you quite a bit. There is no unresolvable conflict between the two of you. Just talk about it."

Yu Ling thanked him, paused for a long time, and then said again: "I'm going to move out, so I won't come here again."

The uncle smacked the meaning of "not coming in the future" and asked, "Go back to your hometown?"

Yu Ling was silent for a moment, then nodded.

"What about your partner?"

"I'm just going back to find him."

Later, the uncle recalled the conversation that day, and always felt that something was wrong, but he couldn't say it.Maybe Yu Ling's expression looked too sad, and he didn't look like he could bring him back at all.

He didn't know if he found it in the end, and Yu Ling hadn't been here since.

People often have illusions, and one of the sources of illusions is imagination or suggestion.The imagination comes from oneself, and the suggestion mostly comes from the other party.

From the first time he saw Liang Shu, Yu Ling noticed that the other person looked at him with hot eyes, with a smile, without hesitation or dodge, always generous.This kind of enthusiasm is purely out of appreciation for favorite painters or worship of idols.

Later, I gradually realized that there was more than admiration or admiration in his eyes.

Yu Ling is no stranger to such gazes, he understands that Liang Shu always smiles at him, not because he has smiling eyes, but because he likes him.In fact, I received the signal very early, but I am not sure if I am the same for him.

He has been liked by the same sex before, and he knows that he is not interested in the same sex at all, and even feels bored or even rejected. He never thinks that one day in the future, he will suddenly like men.

Yu Ling is very experienced in rejecting others, calm and decisive, without dragging his feet.But whenever Liang Shu looked at him with dog eyes, it was difficult to say no.

He has always been considerate in everything he does, but when Liang Shu suddenly came over to hug him, he didn't push him away, but let him hug him naturally.

People will confuse some similar emotions with love, such as habit, companionship, and dependence, thus creating the illusion of falling in love with someone.But Yu Ling didn't take long to figure out his feelings and accepted Liang Shu's feelings.I haven't weighed the pros and cons, just want to be with him, this will never be an illusion.

Maybe we can go back to the earlier time, he obviously didn't like the environment of the rental house, why did he find out that the person on the rental website was Liang Shu, and agreed to share the rent by a ghost.

Yu Ling imagined that after the two of them were together, falling in love with someone like him would be very boring, and Liang Shu might feel bored one day.

Literary and artistic works talk about love, like vigorous, like covered with bruises, have experienced all the hardships in the world, people who love each other always love each other, only death can separate them.

fake.

The reasons that can cause two people to separate are very common, the process is not tortuous, and the ending may not be unforgettable.

But Yu Ling still thinks of him very frequently, and sometimes he can't help but think of him when he sees a tree while walking on the road.

He always acts like he doesn't care much about anything, but there are many things he cares about.

They once had a dispute over buying a house. Yu Ling added Liang Shu's name on the real estate certificate. Liang Shu said that it was unnecessary, and he didn't want to divide the property after divorce like a husband and wife. He didn't understand Liang Shu's first name. One reaction is why divorce.

He gave Liang Shu a watch. Liang Shu said he liked it many times after receiving it, but he never wore it.I asked him why he didn't wear it, and he said it was inconvenient to wear it at work because it was too showy.But I didn't see him wearing it when he wasn't working.

These are very small things, like being pricked by a tiny thorn in the thick flesh of the body, and it is not painful, so he didn't say anything.

He doesn't like to take pictures, and doesn't like to take pictures, but when we are together, he can't help but take pictures of Liang Shu.Most of them were snap shots. I was worried that I couldn't freeze his cutest moment, so I could only press the shooting button in a hurry, and I didn't even get the focus. Fortunately, Liang Shu didn't notice.

When you like someone, you want to take many photos of him. Every moment is worthy of being recorded and preserved for a long time.It seems that apart from the photos, there is no evidence to prove that the two have been together.

Among these photos, there is only one that was taken seriously. His eyes are looking at the camera, the corners of his mouth are slightly raised, and his smile is a little reserved, but it is also good-looking.

After the separation, Yu Ling still kept the old habit. When awakened by a dream, he would subconsciously touch his side, but only touched the cold pillow.

He had many dreams, but only one of the beam tree.

The dream was grotesque, the distorted space was him who he couldn't see in the parallel time and space.

They seemed to be in a relationship again, without quarrels or tears.

The dream was about to end, and between half-dream and half-awake, everything became fragmented. In the pitch-black void, he seemed to hear Liang Shu's voice: "Yu Ling."

"Would you like me more like this?"

But Yuling didn't hear his own answer, like a tiny fly caught in a spider web, and even the corpse was swallowed up.

After many years, he came to this city with the sea again.In the past, it was because of my father that I wanted to come here, but now there is another reason.

There are very few memories related to his father in his mind, because the two of them spend so little time together, all he can think of is that unsmiling and serious face.

At the same time, I also remembered the crying face of my mother. She told him that we should not think about it deliberately because we are afraid of being sad, and we must force ourselves to think about him all the time, so that he will feel that we have not forgotten him.

The movie we watched together said that death is not the end of life, but oblivion is.

All those who die are eventually forgotten, no one else.

Looking at the macro dimension of life, they haven't been together for long, but it seems that all the good times in their lives have been spent, and he no longer thinks about the future.The heart became dry, as if lacking the ability to love, Yu Ling thought, he could only wait for time to pass.

So time passed for a long time, and Lingling didn't like to eat or move. She would hide and run out secretly.He initially thought it was the same symptoms as before, until the vet said it was old.

Leaving the familiar environment, leaving the familiar people, reaching the age, reaching the critical point of death.It turned out that Lingling was already so old.

Having been with each other for many years, he found that he still overestimated the role of time.

Three years after the breakup, Yu Ling bought a cemetery and decided to bury him with his puppy.

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"Death is not the end of life, but oblivion is." - Coco

This chapter is from Yu Ling’s perspective. When I wrote it, I felt very confused. After reading it, it’s okay. It unexpectedly fits his mental state.