The alien and the president

【40】

One person and one ghost walked out of the VIP ward.

The president habitually sat on the chair in the corridor, but his ethereal body sank slowly, and the whole person and the chair became one.

Seeing this, the little star gave the president a little bit of yin, and analyzed: "Although you die first, Qing Yazi will definitely not let it go. His next target must be your parents. The vice-principal is also a member of Xiaoyaoguan, I said hello to him, and asked him to find a reason to draw blood for your parents, and see which of them is the owner of Pangu's blood... Can Qingyazi find you , indicating that he has the means to perceive Pangu's blood, and we need to figure out the situation here."

The president nodded heavily and sprayed blood all over the place: "Okay!"

So the little star went to greet the director of internal medicine. An hour later, the little star came back with two test strips in his hand.

President: "How is it?"

The little star blinked and blinked: "One piece of good news, and one piece of bad news."

President: "Say it first."

Starlet: "The good news is that your parents are safe."

President: "What do you mean it's safe? What's the bad news?"

Little Star: "Actually, you were not born to your parents, neither of them has Pan Gu blood."

President: "?????"

Inadvertently involved a bloody plot of a wealthy family at eight o'clock.

Suffering one after another of violent attacks within one day, another accidental death, and an accidental discovery that he was not his own, the CEO was almost depressed. The CEO hung himself on the ceiling without making a sound, and just wanted to be alone.

【41】

In any case, life has to pass, after all, the president will be resurrected in the future, and there is a lot of mess behind him that cannot be ignored, so every day after the death of the president is very busy.

It's not that the little star ordered him to do things, the little star himself was too busy, organizing the aliens from the Wan Yao Palace to conduct a carpet search, rummaging through boxes and cabinets to find Qing Yazi's whereabouts, and practicing desperately when he had the time, to prepare for the event that was destined to come. Prepare for battle.

The president has a lot of work to do.First of all, the funeral needs to be arranged. The president thought that he had to be resurrected. It is not good to make a fuss about the funeral. It is too unlucky, as if he is really dead.So the president followed his parents, went through the funeral process, shopping list, and the list of relatives and friends who went to mourn the funeral, and gave them a dream while his parents were sleeping, telling them what procedures could be canceled, what he didn't like, what things he didn't have to buy , who can not please.

It was night, and the president was floating right above the sleeping fucking head, talking in a low voice--the method of dreaming was told by the little star. It is very simple for ghosts to dream, as long as the living person falls asleep It is enough to float on the head of a living person and talk, but when entrusted to a dream, the living person will encounter nightmares, which is commonly known as the ghost bed.

The president's mother was crushed by a ghost, and she couldn't wake up, her expression was distorted, sweat was dripping from her forehead, she was very painful, and the president still explained to her the precautions for his funeral.

CEO: "Don't buy those paper people, paper horses, paper cars, paper money is useless, I don't go to hell, I have no place to spend money, and besides burning paper money, I feel unlucky. Strictly speaking, I'm not dead yet. .”

The president's mother is struggling in a nightmare.

With tears in his eyes, the president choked up and said: "Dad, Mom, I will be resurrected again. This situation is only temporary now. I am actually a tactical suspended animation." Driven by vanity, he pretended to be coercive, "There is a demon cultist who wants to kill me with his own hands, and use my bloodline of the ancient gods to refine the blood array to gain power. Once this person succeeds, the world will be devastated. Why don't I let him kill me with his own hands?" Gain strength, so kill yourself first, suspended animation, and will come back soon, don't be too sad."

The president's mother was in a nightmare, almost suffocating.

"One more thing..." The CEO scratched his head, a little embarrassed, "Actually, I know a secret, I am not your biological... Hey, forget it, you are my parents, regardless of blood relationship or not. Nothing will change."

The president floated away from his mother's head, and then floated on top of his father's head, repeating to his father what he had just said to his mother.

The president's mother was sweating profusely, and she sat up abruptly, while the president's father was crushed by ghosts.

After entrusting his parents with a dream, the president rolled up his arms and sleeves and started doing housework, turned on the robot vacuum, and put all the dishes and chopsticks in the kitchen sink into the dishwasher.

In the middle of the night, the sound of the automatic running of the dishwasher suddenly sounded in the kitchen, and the robot vacuum in the living room also automatically started sweeping the floor. The atmosphere was very gloomy.The president's father tremblingly touched the kitchen with a golf club in his hand. The president's mother huddled behind the president's father in horror, but the kitchen and living room were empty and very haunted.

As a filial son, the president entrusted his parents with dreams every night and helped him to do housework. On the fifth day, the president's mother called the little star with two dark circles under her eyes: "His father and I believe that he will be resurrected." , You tell him not to dream about us anymore! Don’t let him come to the house in the middle of the night to do housework! We are too old to be scared!"

The little star held his chin and rolled his eyes, and turned his phone to the CEO: "I told you not to go."

The frustrated CEO: "I just want to imitate the snail girl!"

Little Star calmly pointed out: "You are at best a snail ghost."

The snail ghost got into the microwave oven in a fit of anger and never came out again!

【42】

When an ordinary person suddenly becomes a ghost, the most terrifying thing is not death itself.

But...

The soul of this ordinary person will suddenly get the yin and yang eyes!

Living people have to practice or undergo yin and yang eye surgery to have yin and yang eyes, but ghosts naturally have yin and yang eyes...

The president who has believed in materialism for more than 20 years has discovered that materialism is the biggest scam in history, ghosts, ghosts and ghosts all exist, exist!

The president is not quite used to this kind of ghostly life. Although he is also a ghost, he is a ghost supported by the little star. The appearance of his soul has been restored by the little star with Yin Qi, except that his face is pale and he will bleed when he speaks. Outside, it doesn't look much different from a living person, so the president's tolerance for bloody scenes is not good at all.

But the little star has an extremely yin physique that attracts ghosts, and there are often ghosts who are attracted by the strong yin energy and wander around the little star, hoping to catch some yin energy, so the president is forced to see his own kind every day.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The CEO rushed out of the bedroom, roaring, "There is a ghost in my room!!!"

Xiao Xingxing suspends his training violently: "I'm afraid of a fart, aren't you a ghost yourself!"

The president gestured and gestured, showing his teeth and claws: "Can I be the same as them? I don't look scary at all! I'm still so handsome after I die! They all died in a mess! The intestines in the bedroom are dripping all over the floor All, not to mention picking it up and putting it in my stomach, it circled around my bed three times! Three times!"

The little star sneered and said, "You were no better than them when you just died, and you didn't even know which face was which was butt."

The president choked: "..."

The little star hugged her arms, with a cold expression on her face: "It was I who restored your appearance with Yin Qi, otherwise you would be a mess now."

The president's tone was blunt: "Ah, I see, thank you."

The little star raised his eyebrows, imitating the cool, handsome and domineering tone of the president before he was alive, with a wicked taste: "How should you thank me?"

The president floated up with his back to the little star, and hung his head on the chandelier, pretending to be focused on swinging, without saying a word.

The little star coldly threatened: "I'm going to deduct your yin energy, and I won't help you exorcise ghosts." It's exactly the same tone as the CEO threatened to deduct the little star's salary and bonus when the little star made a mistake before!Very bad!

The president's face was sullen, his pale and pale cheeks flushed with shame, he floated to the little star's side, recalling how the original owner of this body acted coquettishly at him before, he took the little star's arm with a pair of illusory hands , rubbed against the little star's arm with his flat and firm chest muscles, squeezed his throat and said, "Thank you~"

Little Star suppressed his smile, as if he had found some interesting pastime, and asked, "What should I call me?"

The president pondered for a moment, and tentatively said: "...Thank you, wife?"

The little star's face darkened: "Who is your wife, don't take advantage of others."

With a pale face, the CEO pinched his throat and said softly, "Thank you husband—"

The little star who has always been noble and glamorous suddenly burst into laughter: "You're welcome, what else?"

The president looked beyond the aloofness of the world, but he said coquettishly: "My husband will help me drive away ghosts."

The little star took a deep breath, and commented passionately: "It's so cool, no wonder you had to support others when you were alive."

The president gritted his teeth in hatred: "..."

Little Star was in a happy mood, humming a song and went to the CEO's bedroom to drive out ghosts.

【43】

Xiao Xingxing pasted the exorcism talisman bought from Xiaoyaoguan on the wall of the president's bedroom.

After all, their specialty in Wan Yao Palace is recruiting ghosts, not exorcising ghosts, and the alchemists of Xiaoyaoguan are good at exorcising ghosts.

"50 yuan a piece, the cost is just a piece of paper, and it will really make money." The little star twitched while pasting, and waved to the president after pasting, "No ghosts dare to enter your bedroom this time, this ghost exorcist The big formation is only effective for the owner of your room."

As a fierce ghost, the president got into the ten-direction exorcism ghost formation, and he felt a sense of security.

【44】

There is another very inconvenient aspect of being a ghost, which the CEO never thought of before becoming a ghost.

Ghosts have no entity and can pass through anything. Ghosts floating in the air are like living people standing on their legs. They need to be controlled with strength and mind, otherwise they will slowly sink.

The president still maintains the habit of being a living person. He sleeps on a bed at night, and even changes the sheets and quilts every day to create a sense of cleanliness. After falling asleep, he will slowly, slowly pass through the sheets, mattress, bed board, leak out of the bed, and then through the floor, and fall below the floor.

The little star who was practicing in the living room on the first floor watched silently as the president passed through the floor of the bedroom on the second floor and floated down.

"..." The little star got up, took a few steps forward, caught the president, gave the president some yin energy to solidify his body, and then carried the president back to the bedroom in the posture of a princess hug, and arranged him on the bed.

The little star practiced until midnight and went to bed. In the second half of the night, the president, whose Yin Qi gradually dissipated, walked through the bed board, the second floor floor, the first floor floor, and the basement floor again, and continued to move towards the depths of the earth...

【45】

Early the next morning, the president floated back to the surface from the depths of the ground.

With a toothbrush in his mouth, Little Star turned to greet him: "Good morning, are you back?"

The CEO was sad and indignant: "Why do I still sleep when I'm a ghost!?"

The little star shrugged, saying that this question cannot be answered.

The president faintly collapsed: "I'm hungry too, why are ghosts also hungry!?"

The little star gave him a little bit of yin, went to the kitchen and took out an apron to tie it on, then walked to the president's coffin, lit three incense sticks with a lighter, and inserted them into the incense burner.

Yin Qi is to ghosts, just like flesh and blood are to human beings. Yin Qi determines the strength of ghosts. The more Yin Qi, the stronger the ghost power. When the Yin Qi of a ghost is strong enough, this ghost will become a ghost. In Dwayne Johnson, he can even interact with the real world.

Incense to ghosts is like food to human beings. If you don’t eat, you will be hungry. Long-term lack of incense will also lead to the loss of yin energy, and then your soul will be scattered. Qi are two related but different things.

The president knelt gracefully in front of his spiritual seat, and then... opened his nostrils wide, and inhaled the incense with all his strength.

The little star stood aside, holding her arms and wearing an apron, looking very much like a chef.

"How about it, is my cooking skill good?" Little Star asked.

"Not bad." The president savored the incense carefully, smacked his lips, and commented seriously like a Michelin chef's work, "Today's incense tastes soft and melts in the nose, and the fragrance of sandalwood reveals a little bit of just right It has a smoky taste, but the fire is slightly higher, and the time to ignite it with a lighter next time can be slightly shortened, so that the taste of the incense will be softer."

——Exquisite CEO, exquisite life.

The little star turned the lighter in his hand: "Is three incense sticks enough?"

The president wiped his mouth: "Add another one of other flavors, let's have it as dessert, anyway, I won't get fat after eating like this."

"Okay." The little star took out another stick of rose-flavored dessert incense, burned it with a lighter until it was golden and crisp, and inserted it into the incense burner, making the ghosts next door cry.

After the meal, the CEO inhaled some Yin Qi to condense into a solid body, and cleaned up the incense ash burned in the incense burner by himself—it was equivalent to washing dishes.

The little star is at home concentrating on practicing the last magic technique of the Wan Yao Palace, the phoenix coming to the world. The president serves the little star tea, beats his back and squeezes his shoulders, and blows rainbow farts to the gold master from time to time, which is very doggy.

【46】

The president was a delicate boy before his death, and he paid great attention to his image after death.

After he was sent to the funeral parlor, Xiaoxing sorted out his remains and put him on a shroud. The background color was purple, and there were many large golden round flowers printed on it, which gave him the feeling of an old man dying.

The president turned around in front of the mirror, feeling that his body was ugly and had nothing to do with fashion trends, so the president made a coquettish voice, expressing that he wanted to wear nice clothes.

"Don't want to wear a shroud?" Little Star said, "That's fine, I'll burn it for you whatever you want to wear."

——After things in the real world are burned to ashes, they will take on the form of a soul body, which can interact with the soul and be used by the dead.This is why people burn paper houses, paper people, paper horses, paper furniture, paper IPADs, paper computers, paper digital boards...

"Okay, okay, I want to wear that Armani suit..." The president said happily halfway, and suddenly felt wrong, "Wait! Are you going to burn it to ashes!?"

Little Star rolled his eyes: "Of course." After finishing speaking, he got up and went to the CEO's cloakroom, "I'll go and burn your Armani set."

"Don't! Don't do it yet!" The CEO was distressed, "Or... I'll burn the set of Adidas, and I'll take athleisure style."

The little star rummaged in the cloakroom: "Are you sure?"

"Wait," the president regretted again, "You let it go first, I'll pick and choose."

In the end, the CEO searched and burned a set of Heilan House.

【47】

After the president's death, the company was also in chaos. The new president who took over as the president was not good at business.

President Li Gui said angrily: "Even if I didn't get arrested, I would still be pissed off into a Li Gui by you bastards!"

So the president applied to Little Star to come to the company every day to help with business affairs. Although he is a ghost supported by Little Star, he can move freely to a certain extent.Every time the little star gives him full Yin Qi, he can maintain the state of a ghost for about two hours and can interact with the outside world. After two hours, he will turn back to an ordinary ghost and cannot interact with the outside world. interactive.

Every morning, the president took advantage of Xiao Xingxing's side and drifted off to work in the company.

When the new president held a meeting, the ghostly president sat on his neck and listened in. He held a high position and looked down upon all sentient beings.

When the new president spoke badly during the meeting, the ghostly president was so angry that he pulled his hair, so the new president who had good hair volume suddenly started to lose his hair, and he always felt a dull pain in the scalp, and his shoulders and cervical spine were often sore. It was as if someone was secretly riding on his neck.

After the meeting, President Li Gui was still in the president's office, dipping his fingers in blood and writing on A4 printing paper, and left a message to the new president: "I think the policy you formulated at the meeting just now has the following problems..." Points one, two, three, and four Be clear.

When the new president saw the blood book, he screamed heart-rendingly: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" So he didn't dare to delay at all, and hurriedly held a second emergency meeting to convey the spirit of President Li Gui's meeting in place.

The new president was playing games in the office, and while he was playing, the computer screen suddenly went black, and the screen showed the bloody grimace of the president, who vomited blood and said, "Playing games is prohibited during working hours. As the president, how can you not Lead by example..."

The new president turned into a screaming chicken: "Ahhhhhh!"

President Li Gui was relieved at once. It wasn't because he was cowardly that he turned into a screaming chicken at every turn. Other men would also be scared when they saw ghosts.

The new president was so frightened that he didn't want to work, and he didn't even dare to stay alone in the haunted president's office, so he recruited the secretary who was a part-time lover, and asked the secretary to hide under the large president's desk to do an indescribable blowjob for him.The president thinks this is not possible. The office is a sacred workplace, how can it be so dirty, so just as the little secretary was about to make a move, the president briefly possessed the little secretary. When the new president lowered his head, he found the beautiful little secretary under the desk. Turning into a man bleeding from all seven orifices, he permanently lost his ability to lift on the spot, and became brothers and sisters with the CEO.

After the new president and the little secretary fainted from fright, the ghostly president sat at his desk and worked hard, taking advantage of the time when the new president was in a coma to take care of the new president's work in an orderly manner.

The new president couldn't help being scared, and he quit within a few days, and the new president took office, and the cycle continued.

After his death, Li Gui, the president who is still busy with everything: "I have paid too much for this company, too much..."

There are urban legends circulating in the company that the president died unexpectedly and was too obsessed with the company to enter reincarnation.

No one knows that this urban legend is mostly true.