The alien and the president

【0】

The president is dead.

After his death, his soul was suspended in mid-air, watching in horror as his former lover put together his fragmented body like a jigsaw puzzle.

This seemingly delicate and frail little star remained calm in front of the dismembered body of his benefactor, without even trembling his eyebrows, and even picked up a filled back molar and stuck it in front of his eyes.

President: "?"

The little star commented blankly: "It's not well done."

President: "..."

CEO: "Is this the fucking point?"

The little star took off the bloody disposable gloves to soak the braised beef noodles, and also took off the couple Cartier bracelet bought by the president and pressed it on the cup surface. She didn't feel sorry for the bracelet and the broken gold master at all, and waited calmly Soak the noodles.

This is the scene that took place in the funeral room after the death of the president.

【1】

The time went back to three months ago, when the president was still alive, well nourished, and his body was complete.

The president is a person who can be described as being kind.

Because he is exactly the same as the president in the streamlined network president article, he is a seriously labeled president role, handsome, rich, evil, overbearing, and if he disagrees with him, he will make people go bankrupt.

He only has one persona with a personality, and that is...

virgin.

The president is a person who is in the middle of his life. He has never liked anyone since he was so old, and he doesn't even have a good impression, let alone anyone.

In the presence of a beauty, the president is as stable as an old monk. The beauty sits on the president's lap, and the president recites scriptures without saving face. As time goes by, there will be no more beauties sitting on the president's lap, because this is really too low.

Strictly speaking, this is not a bad thing. After all, everyone has their own way of life. The president thinks that it is good to be clean and self-sufficient, and being single is also quite comfortable. Not every president has to be in love with Xiao Baihua to death.

The problem is that other people don't see it that way.

A few months ago, someone made a joke about the president being a virgin. Unfortunately, the president was expelled from the CEO circle with strict rules, and he became the talk of the president circle after dinner. Drinking red wine, gossiping about someone who is not good at something, like grandparents gathering at the entrance of the village to eat melon seeds and gossip.

The president wanted to save face, and felt that this was not good. In order to prove his innocence, he hired a starlet under his own entertainment company, and took it wherever he went.Before his debut, the little star worked as a special effects make-up artist. In order to meet the needs of the president, the little star used things like eye shadow, lipstick, blush, and foundation to mix up a purple-blue dye cream. Put two pieces on the collarbone and pretend to be a hickey.

The president used this method to announce to the world that he had a sex life, and successfully regained his expelled general membership.

The president is very satisfied with the little star—sincerely, he made it clear that he only recognizes money, and doesn't want to get married at all, and give himself enough face in front of other presidents.

The little star is also very satisfied with the president - being taken care of by the president, he doesn't have to do anything, and he doesn't have to fuck, he can get money, and anyone who changes it will be satisfied.

Such a happy and peaceful life lasted for a few months, but accidents happened suddenly.

That night the president went out for a social event and drank too much, and he was still drunk when he returned home.

The little star dutifully welcomed the president home, helped the president change his pajamas, wiped the president's face with a wet towel, fed the president warm water, and helped the president lie down to rest.The starlet who served the president was dressed neatly from head to toe, his shirt collar was buttoned up to his chin, even his collar was turned up, and he resolutely refused to have sex with the president after drinking. They are more like sons and mothers than benefactors and lovers.

The president was so drunk that the liquor in his stomach swelled, and he spit it out from the hallway into the bedroom, like an endless rainy day, the little star thought it was not good, so he put a small basin next to the president's face, then got up Walking out of the bedroom, he said as he walked, "Mr. Zhang, I'll get you a hangover medicine."

The CEO said drunkenly, "Well, well..."

【2】

The president's house is very big, and the little star is usually sloppy, so he couldn't remember where to put the hangover medicine.The nanny was not at home in the middle of the night, and the little star had no one to ask, so he rummaged through boxes and cabinets by himself, looking for medicine.

The president in the bedroom waited and waited for the sober medicine, and he became impatient, so he walked out of the bedroom on the second floor with trembling support on the wall, thinking to get the medicine by himself.

Because he was still drunk, the president's gait was unsteady. When he went down the stairs, his feet were empty, and he rolled to the first floor with a slamming sound, bumping into a pair of calves.

Those calves belong to the little star.

The president is the boss of the entertainment company. The company has cast two bloody soap operas this year, so the president has some occupational diseases. In just a few seconds when he rolled the stairs, he was slightly worried about whether he would lose his memory.But it turns out that the president did not lose his memory. The president just lay on the floor like a dead dog, feeling pain all over his body, so painful that he couldn't get up. pain……"

——Confidently waiting for the rescue and greetings from the little star.

But the little star had no expression on his face, he stood straight in front of the president like a wooden stake, let alone stretched out his hand to help him, he didn't even ask a question.

This eerie silence lasted for a full minute, and the only sound in the room was the president's cock.

The two confronted each other until the president became a little embarrassed, and he didn't seem so confident anymore: "...Uh, that seems to hurt..."

Little Star just tilted his head slightly to look at him, not showing any intention of helping.

More than 100 words of WTF floated in the CEO's mind, but he was forced to lie on the ground due to his injuries, and angrily asked the little star for help: "Please help me..."

The little star still didn't move, only frowned slightly, and asked, "Who are you?"

It was a look of amnesia.

The president suddenly fell into confusion, and couldn't help wondering who was the one who rolled the stairs.

Seeing that the president didn't answer, the little star touched the president with his toe disrespectfully, with a hint of impatience in his tone: "Who are you? Where am I?"

The president tasted the real pain on his body, and re-confirmed that the person who rolled the stairs was himself, not a little star, so he blinked and asked, "...it seems that the person who rolled the stairs is me?"

The little star smiled coldly, and asked, "So what?"

Although he didn't say it clearly, he had a look of "Is rolling the stairs amazing?"

The president was speechless and fell silent for a while: "..."

It's really nothing special...

【3】

Seeing that there was no hope of asking for help, the always good-tempered CEO had no choice but to get up on his own in disgrace, the WTF in his heart galloping like a galloping horse.

The president gritted his teeth secretly, and decided to deduct the starlet's salary and bonus this month, and he was determined not to buy a bag for him!Not to buy one!Unless the little star is crying and begging himself!

The president sorted out his emotions and asked strangely: "What's the matter with you? Sudden memory loss?"

The little star said coldly: "No."

President: "...then?"

The little star looked around, with a hint of understanding in his expression, and muttered to himself: "This must be another great world."

"What are you talking about?" The president had black question marks all over his face, "What big world? Crazy ball?"

The little star sighed slowly, and asked, "Have you heard of the Wan Yao Palace?"

The president spread his hands: "I haven't heard of it."

The little star was displeased, and said with a sneer, "Hey, I'm ignorant."

The corner of the president's mouth twitched slightly: "..."

At this time, the little star had already sat down cross-legged, meditating in front of the president, and said while meditating: "I am a stranger in the Ten Thousand Demon Palace in another great world. The scum of Zhuzhi, unexpectedly fell into his trap when fighting with that villain, and was attacked by him, and my original body passed out."

The president shook his head when he heard it, and said with contempt: "Our company didn't shoot a TV series with such an old-fashioned plot 800 years ago..."

The little star gave the CEO a sideways look, and there was a faint murderous look in his eyes, and the CEO somehow was stunned by this look, and he honestly shut his mouth.

The little star continued: "The villain set up a large array of devouring space, broke through the barrier of time and space and fled to other great worlds, my body couldn't wake up for a while, so I just got out of my body and chased after that A villain has come into this world."

The president was full of disbelief, and beeped something in a low voice. Seeing the little star's frosty gaze, he shrank his neck and dared not say anything.

The little star pointed at herself, showing a slight contemptuous look: "This woman is weak-hearted and has a good upper body, so I will lend her body for use."

The president was silent for a moment, then cautiously said: "...Excuse me, I think you are just simple..." The president said, pointing to his head, "The brain is out of order."

Little star: "Hehe." Hehe, he lifted the 1.8-meter-high president with one hand, and he carried it on his shoulders, ignoring the cries of the president's son, and swept up the third floor of the villa as quickly as a breeze, from He jumped down from the balcony on the third floor, landed lightly like a swallow, and then took off on the spot and flew back to the balcony on the third floor.

The president had just rolled down the stairs, and was so frightened again, his mind went blank, he could only scream.

CEO: "Zi'er wah-Zi'er wah-Zi'er wah-"

The little star said lightly: "Shut up, are you a cicada?"

The president shivered and closed his mouth, expressing his accusation fiercely with his small eyes. Seeing that the little star couldn't understand, he couldn't help but say, "Who are you? You can't even carry a bucket of pure water!?" How about a good soul wear!? Where did you get so much strength!?"

The little star put the president on the ground like a kitten, and said: "This is the lightness kung fu uniquely taught by the Wan Yao Palace, Shadow Moon Dance. Although this woman's body is weak, but my generation of martial arts practitioners knows how to stimulate the body." Potential, to maximize the existing power of the body, so I can use this body to do things that the original owner of the body cannot do. After I cultivate this body to be stronger, it will be many times more powerful than it is now... you Can you trust me now?"

The president still couldn't accept the matter of the soul wearer, but he didn't know the depth of the other party, and he didn't dare to question it, he just muttered in a low voice: "It's what you say, I don't dare not believe it..."

He actually started to use honorifics for the adoptees. If the president's police heard about it, he might be expelled from the headquarters again.

【4】

Seeing that the president no longer doubted him, the little star slowed down his tone and softly comforted him: "You and I have no grievances, and I will not harm you. I came here to hunt down that villain Qingyazi. I just want to Catch him and bring him back to my original Great Thousand World."

The president breathed a sigh of relief, and nodded again and again: "Then...shall I call the police for you?" After a pause, he changed the phrase very politely, "Can you report to the government?"

"No." Xiao Xingxing shook his head, his face sinking like water, "The arrester doesn't know martial arts or spells, so catching that villain is just going to die in vain."

——The one who speaks with accent and tune really looks like an ancient person.

The CEO worried: "Then what do you want from me?"

"Two things," the little star pointed two fingers at the president, as if saying Yeah blankly, "First, there is only a gap the size of a fist left between this world and my world. To bring the villain back, one must use spells to bombard the opening and expand it; secondly, the villain wears the body, but I wear the soul. My body is just an ordinary person, and I have no foundation of skills to speak of. , although relying on my performance to beat ten of you is more than enough, but you can't fight against that villain at all, you have to start from the beginning and practice my Ten Thousand Monster Palace spells."

The CEO with eight-pack abs fell into the confusion of life: "..." What's wrong with me?Why are you hitting me?Do you want to hit ten more?

Seeing that the president listened seriously without interrupting, Xiao Xingxing's expression turned slightly amiable, and he continued: "I don't know the rules in this great world, and I need your help, would you be willing? I will reward you when things are done."

The president just wanted to send this evil god away as soon as possible, turned into a nodding machine, and said positively: "If you need my help, just say it."

The little star said with a full face: "You are familiar with the terrain here, so you can bring some dead bodies here for me, the more the better."

The president opened his mouth into an O shape: "?????"

The little star said in a calm tone as if choosing a steak: "It doesn't matter if the body is rotten, but don't overdo it. It's better to be less than [-]% rotten. It's [-]% rotten. No matter how rotten it is."

The president swayed, tilted his body, and passed out.

A stranger from the Wan Yao Palace who has been with demons and goblins all day long: "..."

What the hell is so dizzy about?

【5】

The president fell into a coma until dawn.

When he woke up, he saw Little Xingxing sitting beside his bed with a slightly strange expression on his face.

The president pondered the little star's expression, pondered for a while, and suddenly realized, and yelled in grief and indignation: "I'm still alive, so you are very disappointed!!!"

The little star really sighed: "Hey..."

Little Star: "When I heard that I was going to find some dead people, I was so frightened, too weak."

The president was so angry that he couldn't speak fluently: "I, we are in 2018! We pay attention to the harmonious legal system, where...where can I find you a dead person?"

The little star was not reconciled, and asked: "Your side...doesn't even have a mass grave?"

"No!" the CEO roared, "There are no mass graves in the whole country!"

"Tch..." The little star was slightly disgusted, "What kind of place are you guys?"

The president was so angry that his hometown accent came out: "It's only broken where there are mass graves everywhere!"

The little star asked: "Then where are the people on your side sent to when they die?"

The president calmed down a little, and said, "There are cemeteries, they are cemeteries."

Frustrated, the little star made a compromise and said, "Then I'll go to Naluoshizi Cemetery in the dark and secretly dig up a few corpses, right? I promise not to dig too much, just use as much as you want, and at worst, bury it after you use it up."

He also understands the principle that resources should not be over-exploited.

"No!" The CEO's blood pressure suddenly rose, "Of course not!"

"Tsk." The little star's expression became more and more disgusted.

The president continued to explain: "Besides, we are all cremated here. When people die, they must be sent to the funeral home to be burned to ashes before being buried. Where did the body come from... er..." Before the words finished, the president already felt something was wrong.

Sure enough, the little star's eyes became very bright: "This 'funeral parlor' sounds like a good place to go."

"..." The president wanted to give himself two mouths.

Let you talk more!

【6】

The little star said in a firm tone, "I'm going to the funeral home."

The president shook his head like a rattle: "What funeral home are you going to? You don't want to make trouble! Let me tell you, you are also a star with your body size. You are filming a TV series recently, and you have to catch up with the announcement..."

The little star was silent for a moment, and suddenly without warning, imitated the sweet tone of the previous owner, coaxing the president to buy a bag for him and coquettishly said: "Go, go! Husband—he's going to the funeral parlor, you Take them with you! They just want a dead body, so why don’t you buy it for them!”

As he spoke, he pressed his chest against the president's arm and rubbed it skillfully.

President: "???"

Are you still fucking acting like a baby when you make such a request? ? ? ? ?

The president didn't come up in one breath, almost having a heart attack.

【7】

The president clutched his heart that was on the verge of suffocation, and ran to the corner of the bedroom with a livid face, keeping the furthest diagonal distance from the little celebrity who was behaving strangely: "You, you... What's the matter with you? People, where did you learn those dirty words?"

A moment ago, the little star who was winking like silk saw that this plan was not going to work, and in a second he sank back to his iceberg face, pointed at his body, and said in a firm tone: "When you were unconscious, I was meditating and practicing, and found that I could trace this body. memory."

The little star didn't understand: "The original owner of this body said those things to you, and you agreed to everything. Why can't it be my turn?"

The president was helpless, so he had no choice but to introduce to the little star all kinds of harmonious society from scratch, and how terrible and unbelievable it is for a modern person to open his mouth and shut his mouth, and want a corpse, and even if there is a dead person in front of him, he can't Do whatever you want with the dead, now there is a crime of insulting the corpse, you must respect the dead, you can't do strange things to the corpse blabla...

The little star didn't interrupt much, but actually listened.

Seeing that the little star was still saved, the president managed to calm down and asked, "Why do you need dead people? What are you going to do with dead people?"

The little star pondered for a moment, and said: "The movement of my Wan Yao Palace's mind requires Yin Qi, and Yin Qi is like internal force to me. Without Yin Qi, I can't cultivate, I can't cast spells, and I can't catch that villain. I can't go back to my world either... In this way, I can only stay here and bully and bully you with nothing to do, just to comfort you."

President: "Don't, don't..."

The little star continued: "As long as I touch a dead body, I can draw Yin energy from it, and I will never insult the dead body. Although lonely ghosts also contain Yin energy, they are far worse than real corpses, not to mention ghosts If there is no yin energy to support it, the soul will fly away in an instant, and you will never be reborn forever. If there is no deep hatred, you can't do such a cruel thing to the soul... I have said so much, have you figured out a way?"

The president actively made suggestions: "Didn't you just say that there is a fist-sized opening between this world and that world? Can't you get Yin Qi from that world?"

Little Star shook his head: "I tried it, but the yin energy I drained from that side will dissipate quickly here, and it's useless at all."

The president nodded resignedly, wiped his face, and asked, "Can't you trace the memory of this body, then do you still remember how to put on makeup?"

The little star meditated, recalled for a moment, nodded and said: "I probably remember it."

"I think you can go to a funeral parlor to be a corpse makeup artist," the CEO suggested, "and you can touch the corpse without breaking the law."

When the little star heard that she could finally go to the funeral home, she was so excited, as if she was going to a Chanel store, and said happily, "Then what are you waiting for? You and I will leave immediately!"