Rebirth's Transformation Scum
Chapter 33
Chen Chaoyang knew his parents' personalities very well, and knew that the cold war between the three of them would make this matter even more rigid, so after waking up the next day, he surrounded them with a more attentive attitude.
When Xu Dongmei was cooking or cleaning, Chen Chaoyang was by her side washing vegetables or mopping the floor. Even if Xu Dongmei made an indifferent expression, he would still talk to himself like a normal person.
Seeing that Chen Dazhuang was almost running out of tea, Chen Chaoyang poured water for him again before him.
They were all insignificant things, but because of the kind of flattering and apologetic smile he kept on his face all the time, Xu Dongmei and Chen Dazhuang couldn't lose their temper.
People say they don’t hit smiling faces when reaching out, and Chen Chaoyang is their only child, and they don’t see each other a few times throughout the year, so after two days of sulking with themselves, Xu Dongmei and Chen Dazhuang are finally willing to talk to him say.
Chen Chaoyang would make a phone call with Zhang Zhican almost every night, knowing that Xu Dongmei and Chen Dazhuang were no longer as angry as they were at the beginning, his tone also revealed surprise, saying: "Chaoyang, uncle and aunt are so kind!"
"It's just that I act recklessly based on their love for me."
Chen Chaoyang was lying on the bed at this time, the curtains were not drawn tightly, so from his angle, he could see the moonlight falling silently on the opposite bookcase through the slits.
No matter how calm and natural he behaved, once he thinks of the troubles he might bring to them, he will still feel guilty involuntarily.
Originally the son they were most proud of, Chen Chaoyang had a self-deprecating smile on his face. When he realized that Zhang Zhican on the other end of the phone hadn't spoken, he said, "What about you? When your parents knew you liked men How did they react?"
"They? They knew about this early on."
There was endless sarcasm in his tone, thinking of his attitude towards his family, Chen Zhaoyang was puzzled, and said: "Zhican, why did you make your relationship with your family so rigid? In this world, they are the only ones who love us unconditionally." , even people who are willing to sacrifice everything for us.”
Zhang Zhican clenched the phone in his hand, watching the moonlight outside the window illuminate Chen Chaoyang's living room in a hazy and soft way. The lights in the room were not turned on, because Chen Chaoyang was not by his side, and the feeling of loneliness that had formed in him was gradually being suppressed bit by bit. Time stood out, and I missed him so much, but in order not to embarrass him, I could only hug a quilt and sleep on the sofa in the middle of the night.
The peculiar smell left by Chen Chaoyang on the bed would make him insomnia. Zhang Zhican casually took the half-smoked cigarette on the table and took a sharp puff. He raised his head and exhaled the smoke little by little before he said, "Maybe. .”
I know it's not their fault, but what can I do?Just like what Chen Zhaoyang said, they are the only people in this world who love him unconditionally, so he can only vent all the anger and anxiety before the panic on them.
Such a self is really timid and pitiful.
There was a sense of vicissitudes in his tone, even if Zhang Zhican was not in front of him, Chen Chaoyang could still imagine the disappointed expression on his face at the moment, he hesitated for a moment, and then said: "Zhican, you have a lot of things on your mind, Can you tell me why?"
Just because the gray mood that was lingering in him when he remembered something hadn't completely disappeared, Zhang Zhican put out the cigarette in his hand without expression, and said, "What about you? I often feel that you have something to hide from me."
"E.g?"
"You often have expressions on your face that I don't understand, obviously you haven't encountered any setbacks."
Chen Chaoyang smiled, and said solemnly: "I died once, and we knew each other in the previous life."
"Ha!" Zhang Zhican said with endless sarcasm in his laughter, "You can exaggerate, for example, you owed me too much in your previous life, so you will be desperate to treat me in this life."
Knowing that no one would believe such words, Chen Chaoyang's mood was not affected in any way, and he deliberately exaggerated: "You are so good, you guessed everything correctly!"
Zhang Zhican said with a speechless expression: "Chen Chaoyang, you idiot! Why don't you say that I am a shepherd boy, and you yourself are the white lady who wants to repay my kindness to me?"
"You could say the same."
Chen Chaoyang, who was not in front of him, acted a little too thick-skinned. Zhang Zhican originally wanted to ridicule him a few more words, but thought that doing so would play into his hands, so Zhang Zhican quickly put on a smug expression and said, "Okay , sure, since you like being a white lady so much, how about I call you lady from now on?" After he finished speaking, he prolonged his ending sound and called lady.
After talking to him for a few words, his mood finally improved. Seeing that he was back to normal, Chen Chaoyang suddenly whispered: "Zhican, I miss you very much."
"Damn it! Chen Chaoyang, you are so cunning every time!"
Sensing that Zhang Zhican had once again entered the state of blowing hair, Chen Chaoyang suppressed a smile, and pretended to be innocent and said, "What's wrong with me?"
It always overwhelms me to say such affectionate words when I'm not paying attention.
Although he yelled in his heart, Zhang Zhican couldn't say such words. After saying "Get out of here and go to sleep," he quickly hung up the phone.
The touch Chen Chaoyang brought to him lingered in his body, knowing that he was so lively because he didn't want to worry about himself, Zhang Zhican hugged the quilt tightly in his hand and took a deep breath involuntarily.
It's too bad, even the quilt smells like Chen Chaoyang.
Thinking that he might suffer from insomnia again this night, Zhang Zhican's smile became a little helpless.
Although Chen Chaoyang was very good at speaking, Xu Dongmei could already feel his persistence. Her child knew best, and there was a certain kind of stubbornness in her character that would rather be broken than broken. If she insisted with Chen Dazhuang, even if he would He pretends to be okay in front of others, but he will be very sad in private, and he will rot like some kind of fern exposed to the hot sun when no one else notices.
If he really loved Zhang Zhican as deeply as he said, Xu Dongmei looked at the tall and straight figure of Chen Chaoyang in front of him, and thought that if he really got to that point, he might end up alone.
Why is my child so stubborn?
Xu Dongmei's eyes were sour, and after she handed Chen Chaoyang's backpack to him, she said to him with a little stubbornness: "Chaoyang, go back to work hard." After a pause, she said: "As for you About He Zhican, if you insist, there is no doubt that your father and I will be sad for a long time."
Intense emotional outbursts will lead to a feeling of burnout in the heart. When Xu Dongmei said these words, she looked listless.
Chen Chaoyang saw these in his heart one by one. Although his heart ached, he still walked up to Xu Dongmei and hugged her, leaning into her ear and said: "Mom, it's really just a matter of mentality. Take a step back and the sea and the sky will open up. Many times, it's you who traps yourself." In that web you spun."
The words that were too sensible seemed even more pale and empty when spoken out at this time. Chen Chaoyang hugged Xu Dongmei in his arms tighter, and said, "Mom, you should think this way, you will have two sons in the future, and Zhican and I will be good to you."
Realizing that Xu Dongmei was still unwilling to speak, Chen Chaoyang had no choice but to say, "Mom, I'm really sorry for being so willful..."
"Go, Chaoyang, it's time for you to go through the security check."
"Okay." After speaking, Chen Chaoyang turned his head and glanced at Chen Dazhuang who had been silent all this time, and said, "Goodbye, Dad, I will come back to see you during the Spring Festival."
Chen Dazhuang nodded slightly, and when Chen Chaoyang turned around, he walked over and held Xu Dongmei, who was starting to cry, in his arms and whispered comfort.
It's nothing more than the children and grandchildren have their own blessings. If the son grows up, we can't control him anymore. When Chen Chaoyang looked back and saw them like this, he felt a sour feeling in his heart.
Even though he had already experienced such a thing, he thought he could bear it well this time, but when it came to this day, he realized that his mood was not even a little bit better than in his previous life.
But it will pass, right?
Uneasy with all these worries, Chen Chaoyang leaned his head on the back of the chair, because he finally put this matter into action, and he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he was exhausted.
Li Jinian, who had been playing outside for a day, didn't come home until late at night. When he saw Li Jiyuan sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper, he couldn't help asking in surprise, "Brother, why are you here?"
Unless Li Shengqiang asked, Li Jiyuan would not appear here easily. First, his mother would say a lot of sarcasm to him, and second, he didn't have any good memories of this place.
Li Jiyuan glanced at him lightly and said, "Why did you come back?"
There was a sense of scrutiny in his eyes, Li Jinian smiled awkwardly and said, "Go out and get together with some old classmates."
Thinking that it was necessary for him to chat with Li Jiyuan who rarely appeared here, Li Jinian went to the armrest of the sofa where he was sitting and sat down.
"You are not young anymore, you should plan for your future earlier."
Li Jinian didn't take it seriously, thinking that you are not ignorant of my character, so he casually took a sip of the coffee Li Jiyuan put on the table, Li Jinian frowned, thinking that the coffee was too bitter.
"Brother, in the middle of the night, you should drink less coffee like this, otherwise you will suffer from insomnia."
Hearing Li Jinian's nagging, Li Jiyuan showed an indistinct smile, and then he said as if he suddenly remembered, "Jinian, when you broke up with Zhang Zhican, why did you keep saying that he was a monster and pervert."
Only now did Li Jinian understand his real intention of appearing here. Thinking of all the past, his mood became a little sad.
Even though he can act like he doesn't care now, after Zhang Zhican, there is no one who treats him as well as he does.
Always have to wait until you lose it before regretting it. Li Jinian pretended to smile easily and said, "That's all my ignorant nonsense when I was young."
"Really?"
Li Jiyuan, who was observing himself calmly, could still feel the pressure from his heart, but this time Li Jinian did not avoid it, he just put aside his gaze and said, "Those things I did to Zhican before I still regret the harm I did.”
Li Jiyuan heard the rare persistence in his tone, and did not speak again.
The silence in the room enveloped the two of them little by little. After a long time, Li Jinian asked in a low voice, "Brother, is it because of Chen Chaoyang?"
Knowing that Li Jiyuan would not return to his own question, Li Jinian suddenly turned around and said, "Brother, have you really thought about it? Is it because you are unwilling to get him, or you really like him?" ?”
He actually didn't think that Li Jiyuan would fall in love with anyone, Li Jinian shook his head, said goodnight to Li Jiyuan and went upstairs as usual.
In the huge living room, Li Jiyuan leaned his head back on the sofa, thinking of what Li Jinian had said to him just now, the expression on his face gradually became a little confused.
Did my feelings for Chen Chaoyang originate from his deep-rooted predator-like heart?Or really like it?
Slowly breathing a sigh of relief, Li Jiyuan had already got up, with the usual expression on his face.
Thinking of the past between himself and Chen Chaoyang, he thought that his feelings for Chen Chaoyang might be both.
Seeing Chen Chaoyang at the airport exit, Zhang Zhican immediately jumped up and waved to him. With an excited and dazzling smile on his face, Chen Chaoyang walked over to him with a slight smile. Just as he walked in front of Zhang Zhican, he kissed him hard on the mouth.
Surrounded by puzzled or surprised eyes, Chen Chaoyang didn't take it seriously. He clasped Zhang Zhican's neck with one hand and said, "Waiting for a long time?"
"Well! It's almost an hour!"
"You should have come later."
"But I want to see you sooner!"
There was a hint of coquettishness in his tone, Chen Chaoyang smiled, and just as he sat in Zhang Zhican's blue rack, Zhang Zhican pulled his collar and kissed him fiercely.
With the same enthusiasm for himself as before, the two finally separated, and Zhang Zhican asked again: "How is it?"
His cheeks were slightly flushed, Chen Chaoyang smiled even more, and said: "After a while, I think they will take the initiative to call me." After a pause, he added: "They always dote on me."
There was a heart-warming soft smile on his face. Although Zhang Zhican didn't know if he was telling the truth or just comforting himself, seeing him like this, he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
Chen Chaoyang was strong in heart but not ostentatious, Zhang Zhican thought, all he had to do was hide behind him and let him solve everything.
Although such thoughts are a bit capricious and selfish, it feels really good to be pampered all the time.
After the holiday, Chen Chaoyang's life quickly returned to normal, and he was still busy. Occasionally, there would be some troublesome things in the company.
So when Xu Dongmei took the initiative to call him, he was really happy.
He wanted to go home as soon as possible to tell Zhang Zhican the good news, but when he arrived home that day, Zhang Zhican did not greet him as usual.
The lights in the room were not turned on, and it was only after he walked to the door of the bathroom that he noticed a glimmer of light shining there.
The pale Zhang Zhican was sitting on the toilet. Hearing the sound, he looked up at Chen Chaoyang and said with a dull expression, "Chaoyang, if I say I'm pregnant with your child, will you think I'm crazy?"
When Xu Dongmei was cooking or cleaning, Chen Chaoyang was by her side washing vegetables or mopping the floor. Even if Xu Dongmei made an indifferent expression, he would still talk to himself like a normal person.
Seeing that Chen Dazhuang was almost running out of tea, Chen Chaoyang poured water for him again before him.
They were all insignificant things, but because of the kind of flattering and apologetic smile he kept on his face all the time, Xu Dongmei and Chen Dazhuang couldn't lose their temper.
People say they don’t hit smiling faces when reaching out, and Chen Chaoyang is their only child, and they don’t see each other a few times throughout the year, so after two days of sulking with themselves, Xu Dongmei and Chen Dazhuang are finally willing to talk to him say.
Chen Chaoyang would make a phone call with Zhang Zhican almost every night, knowing that Xu Dongmei and Chen Dazhuang were no longer as angry as they were at the beginning, his tone also revealed surprise, saying: "Chaoyang, uncle and aunt are so kind!"
"It's just that I act recklessly based on their love for me."
Chen Chaoyang was lying on the bed at this time, the curtains were not drawn tightly, so from his angle, he could see the moonlight falling silently on the opposite bookcase through the slits.
No matter how calm and natural he behaved, once he thinks of the troubles he might bring to them, he will still feel guilty involuntarily.
Originally the son they were most proud of, Chen Chaoyang had a self-deprecating smile on his face. When he realized that Zhang Zhican on the other end of the phone hadn't spoken, he said, "What about you? When your parents knew you liked men How did they react?"
"They? They knew about this early on."
There was endless sarcasm in his tone, thinking of his attitude towards his family, Chen Zhaoyang was puzzled, and said: "Zhican, why did you make your relationship with your family so rigid? In this world, they are the only ones who love us unconditionally." , even people who are willing to sacrifice everything for us.”
Zhang Zhican clenched the phone in his hand, watching the moonlight outside the window illuminate Chen Chaoyang's living room in a hazy and soft way. The lights in the room were not turned on, because Chen Chaoyang was not by his side, and the feeling of loneliness that had formed in him was gradually being suppressed bit by bit. Time stood out, and I missed him so much, but in order not to embarrass him, I could only hug a quilt and sleep on the sofa in the middle of the night.
The peculiar smell left by Chen Chaoyang on the bed would make him insomnia. Zhang Zhican casually took the half-smoked cigarette on the table and took a sharp puff. He raised his head and exhaled the smoke little by little before he said, "Maybe. .”
I know it's not their fault, but what can I do?Just like what Chen Zhaoyang said, they are the only people in this world who love him unconditionally, so he can only vent all the anger and anxiety before the panic on them.
Such a self is really timid and pitiful.
There was a sense of vicissitudes in his tone, even if Zhang Zhican was not in front of him, Chen Chaoyang could still imagine the disappointed expression on his face at the moment, he hesitated for a moment, and then said: "Zhican, you have a lot of things on your mind, Can you tell me why?"
Just because the gray mood that was lingering in him when he remembered something hadn't completely disappeared, Zhang Zhican put out the cigarette in his hand without expression, and said, "What about you? I often feel that you have something to hide from me."
"E.g?"
"You often have expressions on your face that I don't understand, obviously you haven't encountered any setbacks."
Chen Chaoyang smiled, and said solemnly: "I died once, and we knew each other in the previous life."
"Ha!" Zhang Zhican said with endless sarcasm in his laughter, "You can exaggerate, for example, you owed me too much in your previous life, so you will be desperate to treat me in this life."
Knowing that no one would believe such words, Chen Chaoyang's mood was not affected in any way, and he deliberately exaggerated: "You are so good, you guessed everything correctly!"
Zhang Zhican said with a speechless expression: "Chen Chaoyang, you idiot! Why don't you say that I am a shepherd boy, and you yourself are the white lady who wants to repay my kindness to me?"
"You could say the same."
Chen Chaoyang, who was not in front of him, acted a little too thick-skinned. Zhang Zhican originally wanted to ridicule him a few more words, but thought that doing so would play into his hands, so Zhang Zhican quickly put on a smug expression and said, "Okay , sure, since you like being a white lady so much, how about I call you lady from now on?" After he finished speaking, he prolonged his ending sound and called lady.
After talking to him for a few words, his mood finally improved. Seeing that he was back to normal, Chen Chaoyang suddenly whispered: "Zhican, I miss you very much."
"Damn it! Chen Chaoyang, you are so cunning every time!"
Sensing that Zhang Zhican had once again entered the state of blowing hair, Chen Chaoyang suppressed a smile, and pretended to be innocent and said, "What's wrong with me?"
It always overwhelms me to say such affectionate words when I'm not paying attention.
Although he yelled in his heart, Zhang Zhican couldn't say such words. After saying "Get out of here and go to sleep," he quickly hung up the phone.
The touch Chen Chaoyang brought to him lingered in his body, knowing that he was so lively because he didn't want to worry about himself, Zhang Zhican hugged the quilt tightly in his hand and took a deep breath involuntarily.
It's too bad, even the quilt smells like Chen Chaoyang.
Thinking that he might suffer from insomnia again this night, Zhang Zhican's smile became a little helpless.
Although Chen Chaoyang was very good at speaking, Xu Dongmei could already feel his persistence. Her child knew best, and there was a certain kind of stubbornness in her character that would rather be broken than broken. If she insisted with Chen Dazhuang, even if he would He pretends to be okay in front of others, but he will be very sad in private, and he will rot like some kind of fern exposed to the hot sun when no one else notices.
If he really loved Zhang Zhican as deeply as he said, Xu Dongmei looked at the tall and straight figure of Chen Chaoyang in front of him, and thought that if he really got to that point, he might end up alone.
Why is my child so stubborn?
Xu Dongmei's eyes were sour, and after she handed Chen Chaoyang's backpack to him, she said to him with a little stubbornness: "Chaoyang, go back to work hard." After a pause, she said: "As for you About He Zhican, if you insist, there is no doubt that your father and I will be sad for a long time."
Intense emotional outbursts will lead to a feeling of burnout in the heart. When Xu Dongmei said these words, she looked listless.
Chen Chaoyang saw these in his heart one by one. Although his heart ached, he still walked up to Xu Dongmei and hugged her, leaning into her ear and said: "Mom, it's really just a matter of mentality. Take a step back and the sea and the sky will open up. Many times, it's you who traps yourself." In that web you spun."
The words that were too sensible seemed even more pale and empty when spoken out at this time. Chen Chaoyang hugged Xu Dongmei in his arms tighter, and said, "Mom, you should think this way, you will have two sons in the future, and Zhican and I will be good to you."
Realizing that Xu Dongmei was still unwilling to speak, Chen Chaoyang had no choice but to say, "Mom, I'm really sorry for being so willful..."
"Go, Chaoyang, it's time for you to go through the security check."
"Okay." After speaking, Chen Chaoyang turned his head and glanced at Chen Dazhuang who had been silent all this time, and said, "Goodbye, Dad, I will come back to see you during the Spring Festival."
Chen Dazhuang nodded slightly, and when Chen Chaoyang turned around, he walked over and held Xu Dongmei, who was starting to cry, in his arms and whispered comfort.
It's nothing more than the children and grandchildren have their own blessings. If the son grows up, we can't control him anymore. When Chen Chaoyang looked back and saw them like this, he felt a sour feeling in his heart.
Even though he had already experienced such a thing, he thought he could bear it well this time, but when it came to this day, he realized that his mood was not even a little bit better than in his previous life.
But it will pass, right?
Uneasy with all these worries, Chen Chaoyang leaned his head on the back of the chair, because he finally put this matter into action, and he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he was exhausted.
Li Jinian, who had been playing outside for a day, didn't come home until late at night. When he saw Li Jiyuan sitting on the sofa reading a newspaper, he couldn't help asking in surprise, "Brother, why are you here?"
Unless Li Shengqiang asked, Li Jiyuan would not appear here easily. First, his mother would say a lot of sarcasm to him, and second, he didn't have any good memories of this place.
Li Jiyuan glanced at him lightly and said, "Why did you come back?"
There was a sense of scrutiny in his eyes, Li Jinian smiled awkwardly and said, "Go out and get together with some old classmates."
Thinking that it was necessary for him to chat with Li Jiyuan who rarely appeared here, Li Jinian went to the armrest of the sofa where he was sitting and sat down.
"You are not young anymore, you should plan for your future earlier."
Li Jinian didn't take it seriously, thinking that you are not ignorant of my character, so he casually took a sip of the coffee Li Jiyuan put on the table, Li Jinian frowned, thinking that the coffee was too bitter.
"Brother, in the middle of the night, you should drink less coffee like this, otherwise you will suffer from insomnia."
Hearing Li Jinian's nagging, Li Jiyuan showed an indistinct smile, and then he said as if he suddenly remembered, "Jinian, when you broke up with Zhang Zhican, why did you keep saying that he was a monster and pervert."
Only now did Li Jinian understand his real intention of appearing here. Thinking of all the past, his mood became a little sad.
Even though he can act like he doesn't care now, after Zhang Zhican, there is no one who treats him as well as he does.
Always have to wait until you lose it before regretting it. Li Jinian pretended to smile easily and said, "That's all my ignorant nonsense when I was young."
"Really?"
Li Jiyuan, who was observing himself calmly, could still feel the pressure from his heart, but this time Li Jinian did not avoid it, he just put aside his gaze and said, "Those things I did to Zhican before I still regret the harm I did.”
Li Jiyuan heard the rare persistence in his tone, and did not speak again.
The silence in the room enveloped the two of them little by little. After a long time, Li Jinian asked in a low voice, "Brother, is it because of Chen Chaoyang?"
Knowing that Li Jiyuan would not return to his own question, Li Jinian suddenly turned around and said, "Brother, have you really thought about it? Is it because you are unwilling to get him, or you really like him?" ?”
He actually didn't think that Li Jiyuan would fall in love with anyone, Li Jinian shook his head, said goodnight to Li Jiyuan and went upstairs as usual.
In the huge living room, Li Jiyuan leaned his head back on the sofa, thinking of what Li Jinian had said to him just now, the expression on his face gradually became a little confused.
Did my feelings for Chen Chaoyang originate from his deep-rooted predator-like heart?Or really like it?
Slowly breathing a sigh of relief, Li Jiyuan had already got up, with the usual expression on his face.
Thinking of the past between himself and Chen Chaoyang, he thought that his feelings for Chen Chaoyang might be both.
Seeing Chen Chaoyang at the airport exit, Zhang Zhican immediately jumped up and waved to him. With an excited and dazzling smile on his face, Chen Chaoyang walked over to him with a slight smile. Just as he walked in front of Zhang Zhican, he kissed him hard on the mouth.
Surrounded by puzzled or surprised eyes, Chen Chaoyang didn't take it seriously. He clasped Zhang Zhican's neck with one hand and said, "Waiting for a long time?"
"Well! It's almost an hour!"
"You should have come later."
"But I want to see you sooner!"
There was a hint of coquettishness in his tone, Chen Chaoyang smiled, and just as he sat in Zhang Zhican's blue rack, Zhang Zhican pulled his collar and kissed him fiercely.
With the same enthusiasm for himself as before, the two finally separated, and Zhang Zhican asked again: "How is it?"
His cheeks were slightly flushed, Chen Chaoyang smiled even more, and said: "After a while, I think they will take the initiative to call me." After a pause, he added: "They always dote on me."
There was a heart-warming soft smile on his face. Although Zhang Zhican didn't know if he was telling the truth or just comforting himself, seeing him like this, he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.
Chen Chaoyang was strong in heart but not ostentatious, Zhang Zhican thought, all he had to do was hide behind him and let him solve everything.
Although such thoughts are a bit capricious and selfish, it feels really good to be pampered all the time.
After the holiday, Chen Chaoyang's life quickly returned to normal, and he was still busy. Occasionally, there would be some troublesome things in the company.
So when Xu Dongmei took the initiative to call him, he was really happy.
He wanted to go home as soon as possible to tell Zhang Zhican the good news, but when he arrived home that day, Zhang Zhican did not greet him as usual.
The lights in the room were not turned on, and it was only after he walked to the door of the bathroom that he noticed a glimmer of light shining there.
The pale Zhang Zhican was sitting on the toilet. Hearing the sound, he looked up at Chen Chaoyang and said with a dull expression, "Chaoyang, if I say I'm pregnant with your child, will you think I'm crazy?"
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