Manhattanhenge

Ning Yixiao stood in the snow for a long time, his hands and feet were frozen stiff, until someone came to ask him if he needed help, then he shook his head and walked back to his and Su Hui's rental house step by step.

The date displayed on the phone screen jumps from December 12th to December 19th. Ning Yixiao stayed up all night, sitting on the small double sofa, feeling that the room was empty, turned on the TV, and found that the shoddy TV series was actually When the finale was broadcast, everyone reaped reunion and happiness.

The next morning, the snow still didn’t stop. Just after dawn, Ning Yixiao rode his bicycle to Su Hui’s house. The road was icy, and he fell once halfway, got up again and continued. It took almost two hours to reach that place. In the beautiful villa area, I came to the one belonging to Su Hui based on my memory.

The small garden withered, Ning Yixiao stood at the door and rang the doorbell three times.For the last time, someone finally came out from inside and opened the door for him.

It's Xu Zhi.

"Ning Yixiao? What are you doing here so early?"

Ning Yixiao didn't look at him, "I'm looking for Su Hui."

But Xu Zhi said: "He left, we have to move, he left first last night."

Ning Yixiao didn't believe it, and went inside by herself.He was still wearing old sneakers, but he stepped into this gorgeous mansion without any scruples. The servants were busy packing their luggage, and many of the furnishings were covered with cloth.When he came to the living room, he immediately saw Ji Taixi sitting on the sofa.

Ji Tailu glanced at him, "You are Ning Yixiao."

Ning Yixiao stopped in his tracks, nodded respectfully, "I am, excuse me."

"What's the matter?" Ji Tailu obviously didn't want him to stay for a long time, "We are preparing to move."

Ning Yixiao said, "I want to find Su Hui, is he there? I have something to tell him."

"He's not here, the plane was on the early morning yesterday." Ji Tailu glanced at him, "Sit down, talk to me about anything."

Ning Yixiao hesitated, but sat down anyway, and soon a servant served him a cup of hot tea.

"I know what happened between you and Su Hui." Ji Tailu got straight to the point, and overwhelmed Ning Yixiao, "If you came to talk to him about this matter, you can give up. His illness, I think You are clear, but you should not know what this disease will bring to those around him."

Ji Tailu whispered a few words to the servant beside him, and not long after, the servant brought a box containing some things like letter paper.

"Ever since he got this disease, few words he said are credible. They are all caused by insanity. Maybe in your eyes, you think Su Hui likes you very much, but in fact, he has released similar words to many people during his mania. It also caused a lot of misunderstandings, and his mother and I have been dealing with this kind of trouble for him since junior high school."

Ning Yixiao couldn't accept that he regarded Su Hui and his relationship as "troublesome", let alone accept that Su Hui's kindness to him was only out of symptoms.

"When he was in Yuqi, did he show that he cared about you? Maybe it's good to say a word to you."

As Ji Tailu said, he picked out a few pieces of letter paper that Su Hui had written, and pushed them in front of Ning Yixiao.

"You should know his characters."

Ning Yixiao looked down and saw that it was indeed written by Su Hui. The handwriting looked a little floating, and it was in a state of irritability.

[I really want to go to Iceland, I want to go with him to the Svenna Glacier in Iceland, exchange rings with him there, and pretend to get married on an extremely cold planet, but unfortunately there is no gravity of Planet Miller, it would be great if there is, Stay there for ten hours, and the earth will pass 70 years. At that time, we will only have each other, and no one will separate us. ]

Soon, he flipped to the next one. His handwriting was heavy and he used a lot of force, which was the writing state that Su Hui only had when he was in Yuqi.

But when he read the first sentence, his fingers froze.

[I want to die in Iceland.But don't trouble people, I've done too much trouble in my life.You can’t die in the house, it will hurt the landlord or the hotel, jumping off the building may also hurt others, the best way is euthanasia, but I don’t want to stay in the hospital and leave, just by the sea at the end of the road in Reykjavik, Sit on the bench there, leave a letter, and the person who finds me will see it.

Let's draft a copy first:

Hello, when you read this letter, I have indeed passed away in the way I chose. I am very satisfied. There is no one or thing in this world that I am nostalgic for.I have signed the body donation agreement, please help me fulfill my last wish, call this number and inform the body donation volunteers to take me away, I am very grateful, I wish you a happy life and all the best.

It should be possible to write this way.At least when you are 40 years old, you must fulfill this wish. ]

On every piece of paper, he would leave the date. Ning Yixiao discovered that the time between his wish to marry him in Iceland and his wish to die in Iceland was less than a month apart, both during the process of falling in love with him. .

There was a crack in a certain part of his heart that he firmly believed in, and it quietly cracked.

Ning Yixiao thought of what the doctor said in the hospital before, that the patients in the manic period showed enthusiasm, very much like being in love.

It turned out that the happiness he thought was not real happiness, it could be converted into pain at any time.

Because of his vision, Su Hui will turn into another depressed and dead look in just a few weeks, so what is real?

"Did you see that? This is what Su Hui really thinks in his heart. He is crazier than you imagined. When he is good, he will make you feel that he loves you very much, because he treats us the same. Once his state changes, You are nothing. Do you think this kind of feeling can be called liking?"

"I think that most of his love and affection for you were in the manic period. At that time, his central nervous system was extremely excited and he needed to do something to relieve himself. You are a way for him to release. All he showed The enthusiasm is pathological, taking medicine will reduce it, and the depression period will disappear.”

Ji Tailu's tone was extremely calm, and he pushed all the letter paper and the box over, "If you want to read, there are many more, most of the content here seems to be written by different people, in fact it is Su Hui's. The truest portrayal of the heart."

"And you, Ning Yixiao, I've seen your resume, I know you're a bit smart and motivated, but you're not suitable for him."

"Because of these incidents during this period, the family has been in great trouble. Su Hui's grandmother is also sick. His mother is not in good health and worries every day. As the head of this family, I will tell you directly that I will not allow a man to have sex with him. My grandson got involved, you give up on this idea. Su Hui will definitely marry a good girl who matches him in the future, and they will live a stable life instead of the current mess Relationship. We persuaded him, Su Hui also agreed, and turned back in time."

"If you want anything, just ask, I will agree to what I can, as compensation for the time and energy you have spent on Su Hui. I know how difficult it is to deal with a mental patient, and you want to Climb up, otherwise you won't be able to even be a man, old man, I can help you..."

Before he could finish speaking, Ning Yixiao stood up.

He bowed and stood up, "You misunderstood, I just want to see Su Hui, since he is gone, I have nothing to say."

"Also, homosexuality is not a disease. If you say this, it will only expose your ignorance and prejudice."

He turned and left the mansion without looking back.

The snow is still falling, blocking the vision, Ning Yixiao's eyes are blurred, it is always the picture of Su Hui and him lying in the bathtub and dreaming about the future.He thought maybe he was the one who was sick, and he was still very sick, so he was always stuck in a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from.

Walking to the side of the road, he found the bicycle he was riding, and planned to unlock it and leave, but his phone was frozen and turned off.

After finally turning on the phone, a call came in from a number he was familiar with. He had called it so many times in the past few days that he almost had to memorize it.

After connecting, he heard the other party say that his visa application can be submitted again.

"Thank you." Ning Yixiao didn't want to say anything, and put the phone back in his pocket.After hanging up the phone, he received another long text message from an unfamiliar number that Su Hui had used before to contact him temporarily.

Only this time the sender has changed.

[Xiao Ning, hello, I am Su Hui's grandmother.You are an excellent child, you work hard, and you are willing to endure hardships. I don't want to deny your feelings, and I know that you have given your heart, but Xiaohui is special after all. With him, your future will be very difficult. Now things have changed. In this way, as an elder, I also feel very sorry to witness this twists and turns.I wish you a smoother life in the future and will not be affected by this incident. ]

After Ning Yixiao read this text message in silence, her eyes were sour, but she did not shed tears after all.

He turned off his mobile phone, got on his bicycle, and planned to go back to school to hand in materials.

But Ning Yixiao didn't notice that a car at the intersection had been following him since he rode out of the neighborhood.

The wiper wiped every meter Ning Yixiao approached. Sitting in the driver's seat, Feng Zhiguo realized that he and his mother really looked alike, almost exactly the same.

Even their lives are the same, Qin Yue restrained him, and her son also wanted to restrain his son!

Thinking of what Xu Zhi said not long ago, Feng Zhiguo hated him very much. It was not enough to expose the scandal of Ning Yixiao and Su Hui. When he thought that Ning Yixiao might really be like what Xu Zhi said, he would go to the school to report his sexual assault back then. What happened to his mother affected Feng Cheng's study abroad, and Feng Zhiguo lost his mind.

He absolutely cannot let this person harm his son, his son is his life...

The more he thought about it, the angrier Feng Zhiguo became. He unscrewed the liquor bottle, took a big gulp, and stepped on the gas pedal.

The rare heavy snow was flying all over the sky, there were not many vehicles on the road, there were few pedestrians, and the sky was dark.The figure of Ning Yixiao riding a bicycle was like a thorn in the snow, piercing Feng Zhiguo's eyes so red that blood dripped.

The moment Ning Yixiao turned around, they were facing each other, Feng Zhiguo saw Ning Yixiao's face clearly again, and he, who was blinded by greed, was burnt out of his sanity, and bumped straight into it——

The in-vehicle radio stopped abruptly with a loud crash, and Feng Zhiguo was severely blocked by the ejected airbag. He almost vomited blood. He suddenly woke up and saw the snow gradually turning red not far in front of the car. Fear spread over him. In his heart, before he had time to think about it, he was so flustered that he couldn't even drive the car. He restarted the car with shaking hands and fled the scene.

On the way to escape, he kept calling Xu Zhi's phone number, but he couldn't get through. It was not until he was about to drive to the edge of the city that he finally dialed Xu Zhi's phone number.

He regarded Xu Zhi as his life-saving straw, "Xu Zhi, Xu Zhi, I hit someone, I hit Qin Yue's son, will he die... what should I do!"

Xu Zhi's voice was extremely cold, "How did you become so stupid? Feng Zhiguo, you are a murderer now, and your son was really killed by you."

"No! You said it! You said Qin Yue's son would harm me!" Feng Zhiguo was almost hysterical.

"But I didn't ask you to kill people." Xu Zhi's tone was relaxed, even with a hint of sarcasm, "These are all your own choices, how could I have imagined what you would do?"

Feng Zhiguo fell into deep despair. He was the only vehicle on the deserted road.He really wanted to hit himself to death, but the face of his son appeared in front of his eyes.

"But..." Xu Zhi spoke again, giving him a glimmer of hope, "I can give you another way, for the sake of our fellow villagers."

"Anyway, you are hit and run now. Ning Yixiao will not die. You are all criminals and will make your son die. Why don't you help me do the last thing. I promise you that I will give your son a fortune for the rest of his life. Let him be comfortable and not have to work so hard, and he can live a life like a master."

Upper Class.

It's a word worth thinking about, not only Feng Zhiguo expected it, but Ning Yixiao also looked forward to it.

But at the moment when he fell to the ground and bled, he seemed to have emptied all his desires, he only wanted one person, and he didn't need anything else.

But it seems to be more difficult than being a master.

In a semi-conscious state, he heard someone calling an emergency number, and passers-by surrounded him one by one. Soon there was the sound of an ambulance. He was carried up, and then he lost consciousness.

The smell of disinfectant in the hospital was very pungent, but what Ning Yixiao smelled was mostly blood.He saw Su Hui's face in a trance, as if he was lying on the bed next door, his mouth was gagged to prevent him from biting himself, an instrument was worn on his head, and his arm was stabbed with a needle.

Whenever Ning Yixiao received an electric shock defibrillation on his chest, Su Hui who was "beside him" also experienced an electric shock.

In the misplaced time and space, both of them were penetrated by electric current, as if they had received the same punishment for a short-lived relationship that shouldn't have happened.

But what Ning Yixiao didn't know was that his illusion was not an illusion, but a reality far away across the ocean.

Even Su Hui himself didn't expect that his compromise turned out to be a hell.

His maternal grandfather, his true relative, had already approved his stepfather's proposal when he was in hysteria. He was sent to a closed mental hospital in North America by sending him in a coma due to sedatives on the grounds of treating mental illness. .

Just because Xu Zhi said that this psychiatric hospital is the best in the world, and it only takes one to two years for him to change back to the way he used to be and become much more normal.

When Su Hui woke up, he found that everything had changed. He was locked in a room with only a small window, a bed, a set of desks and chairs, and an electronic lock on the door, which could not be opened from the inside. Like a decent enough prison.

This was different from all the mental hospitals he had been to. Su Hui wanted to find his mobile phone, but found that his clothes had also been changed, and he only had a letter on him, which was written by his grandfather.

He glanced at it briefly, feeling that every word would swallow him up.

[When you are well, Grandpa will still give you the best when nothing happens, and will find a suitable girl for you, and pick you up when the time comes. ]

Su Hui was crying like crazy in the room, and all he got were doctors and nurses with foreign faces. They opened the door, treated him, gave him infusion and medicine, and took him to the consulting room for electroshock.

This is not the first time Su Hui has received electroshock treatment, but it has never been so painful.

They communicated in English and said that he was seriously ill and began to experience auditory hallucinations and hallucinations, but Su Hui didn't respond and just wanted to leave.He tried many times and failed.

It's very safe here, there is nothing to kill yourself, and there is no freedom.Su Hui could only lie down or sit day after day, looking at the same tree outside the window.

The first month was the most painful stage. Su Hui loved freedom the most, and he couldn't accept being trapped here. He tried everything, and the more he wanted to escape and resist, the harsher the treatment would be.

On January 1, because Su Hui was unwilling to recite the Bible with other patients, he made a resisting movement, tore up the book in front of him, and was forcibly taken to the healing room for four intensive treatments. The whole person almost lost his mind and collapsed on the electric shock bed, unable to move.

Under such coercive oppression, part of his brain structure was forced to change, leaving only chaos, and gradually lost the idea of ​​escaping, and just simply missed Ning Yixiao, even though Su Hui knew that he had lost him.

The nurses here don’t talk to the patients very much, because all the patients are very bad, in a bad state, crazy, and they avoid them as much as they can. There is only one head nurse named Danni, who often chats with Su Hui, talks to him, She can even speak a little Chinese, which is the only light that Su Hui feels in this crazy place.

He was released occasionally and could move freely within the hospital, but he was not allowed to go out. When seeing family members visiting, Su Hui would stand still.

Danni came over and wanted to take him back to the room, Su Hui asked in a low voice, "Can my family come to see me?"

"Yes, if they want to."

Su Hui nodded in confusion, her tone became very light, and she could hardly grasp it.

"Then... aren't they family members?"

"You mean friends?" Dany looked at him with a hint of guilt in her eyes, "If they want to come, they can come too."

She knew better than anyone that no one would come, because from the moment the unconscious Su Hui was brought in, she was entrusted to monitor everything about him.

But she couldn't bear to tell Su Hui the truth.

"That's it." Su Hui looked at Danni, "But there is no phone here, how can I let him come?"

Dany said nothing.

"Can you lend me?" Su Hui's eyes were full of pleading.

Dany looked at him, shaking her head after all, "This would break the rules, and I'd lose my job."

"Is the paper and pen okay?" Su Hui's tone sounded like a child nobody wants, "Some of them also have paper, and they can draw. I want it too."

Dany finally fulfilled his little wish, and brought him a pen and some white paper the next day.

It was the first time that Su Hui showed a happy look, and said thank you with a smile on his face. He returned to the room obediently, unfolded the paper, and carefully wrote a name on it.

[Ning Yixiao:

I didn't know what to say for a while, I finally got the paper and pen, and I just wanted to write to you.You should have not gone abroad at this time, and there should be no problem sending it to the school.I'm sorry, Ning Yixiao, I know you hate being left behind, but I did it anyway, I'm really sorry, I didn't do what I promised you.

If possible, I really want to go back to the time before I met you for the first time. If I didn’t go to that coffee shop that day, but went home and killed myself, I wouldn’t have caused you so much trouble. We don’t know each other at all. I will meet, and I will not hurt you.

I originally got the paper because I wanted to write to you and make a small request, but now I don’t seem to think so much, because I did something wrong, and I shouldn’t bother you anymore.

There are many patients like me here, but I have no friends. It is very noisy here at night, and I can't sleep. A man in the diagonally opposite room is crying every day, like a child, so scary.

When are you leaving?I don't know if my letter will be delivered. If you see it, forget the previous one. I just hope everything goes well for you, and I know you will.

Ning Yixiao, I wish you health and happiness, and a bright future.

-Su Hui's own handwriting]

Su Hui writes almost every day, but instead of giving it to Danni right away, she saves it up. When she is in a better state of mind, she picks out a few letters that read more normally and gives them to Danni, and repeatedly asks her to Can help him seal it up properly, and the address must not be wrong.

Dany nodded in agreement, reassuring him.

Writing letters became Su Hui's only consolation during this most difficult time.He often sat on the bed, as quiet as a dead sea, but he was drafting in his mind, imagining when Ning Yixiao would reply.

But gradually, such thoughts gradually disappeared.Because Su Hui found that no matter how many letters he handed to Danni, there was no reply.

Every time the nurse in charge of managing letters passed by, Su Hui would stop her and go through all the letters in her hand, but she didn't have her own.

"Without you, really."

Su Hui went back disappointed, and heard a patient standing in the corridor say that the hospital no longer provided him with drawing paper.He suddenly felt panicked, and ran back to the room with an empty heart. He rummaged through the drawer and found that there was only the last piece of paper.

[Ning Yixiao:

I'm sorry, I just finished the electroshock treatment, so the writing is a little shaking, it's so ugly, you can just take a look, maybe I won't be given paper here in the future, I can't waste a piece of paper.

I want to see you, I really want to see you, when I was shocked, all I could think about was you, I dreamed about you last night, you said you forgive me, and you hugged me.

Ning Yixiao, why don't you want to come see me?Don't be mad at me, okay?My illness has recovered a lot. Please come to see me once and take me out of here, please.

I will not be able to write to you in the future, after you see this letter, can you come to me?I don't want you to take me away, I just see you through the glass, really, I won't lie to you.

None of them came to see me, they didn't want me anymore.

My hands are shaking too much, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, every time I finish the treatment, my mind is a little confused, very dull, and I miss you very much.Have you been to California now?To get more sun, the sun will make you happy.You need to eat more, don't sleep less, don't wash your hands all the time, are you getting better, or are you still anxious?Please get well soon, I miss you so much.

Ning Yixiao, I wish you health and happiness, and a bright future.

-Su Hui's own handwriting]

Two years later, this notorious psychiatric hospital was investigated by the local Canadian government due to operational problems and the downfall of the capital behind it, resulting in bankruptcy.

On the day he saw the sun again, Su Hui left the five-story building and put on a coat from two years ago, but his pockets were empty.All the patients were picked up, only Su Hui didn't even have a footstep in front of him.

He could no longer find Dani who had helped him, so he could only walk aimlessly in a foreign country alone, feeling as if he had been in another world.

When Su Hui came to a bus stop, the fog was so thick that he couldn't see anything clearly.He sat on the bench and waited for a long time before meeting a passerby, so he carefully asked him to borrow his mobile phone.The other party kindly lent it to him, but Su Hui couldn't remember any phone number.

Excessive treatment brought him irreversible sequelae, and his memory was shattered. He tried many times, but he got the wrong number.

Su Hui borrowed one mobile phone after another at the bus station, tried again and again, and found that he couldn't get through to Ning Yixiao's number. The moment it got dark, he suddenly cried. In a strange country, on a strange bus Standing, it is eye-catching.

A well-meaning person came forward to care, "What's wrong with you? Did you lose your wallet or your phone? Is there anything I can do for you?"

Su Hui cried like a child and kept repeating a sentence.

"I lost him, and I'll never get him back."

The author has something to say:

This is the end of the memory part. In fact, if you only read chapter p, it is indeed very similar to be literature, but this is a broken mirror reunion. They will still meet and fall in love again after a few years. Thinking of this, I can let go of it , These two days have been really painful to write.

By the way, most of the psychiatric hospitals serve patients and are dedicated to treating patients. The medical staff inside are also very conscientious, and the work they do is dangerous and hard.

What I wrote is superficial, it doesn’t necessarily exist like this, it serves for the plot, and as far as I know, electroconvulsive therapy is actually a conventional treatment method for mental illness, which may occur after the effect of drug treatment is not significant. The choice, of course, has certain sequelae, and it is not the kind of "electric shock" that everyone imagines.

In fact, this broken mirror was the first part I conceived, because since I decided to write a broken mirror and reunite article, the biggest difficulty for me is how to break the mirror reasonably, and how to make their separation in recent years reasonable, because I always think that, Under normal circumstances, it is difficult for two people who love each other enough to be so decisive. In reality, they always have a way to meet each other. In an unconventional situation, two people can't recover, and they can't even see each other. It's a cruel scene, but they never stop loving each other for a day.

There are still some foreshadowing and unwritten parts (such as the years when Xiaohui wandered outside, the accidents in his family, and the bad news of some villains) will be written in the real chapter N, and the chapter P will be finished. don't cry.