Manhattanhenge

At the same time that Su Hui's email was received, Ning Yixiao was on a conference call with headphones on.

The person on the other end was uneasy because of his silence, and kept calling his name to drag Ning Yixiao out of the quagmire of memories.

"Sorry, I was distracted." Ning Yixiao took a deep breath, "Where did we just talk about?"

"Shaw, I feel that you are not in a good state. So, you take a rest first, I will organize the general content into an email and send it to you. You can take a look and we will talk again if you have any questions." The other party said intimately, and it was over this meeting.

Ning Yixiao felt short of breath, stood up, and walked to the window, through the whole piece of floor-to-ceiling glass windows, he saw the snow scene of Central Park, which made the pain even worse.

I can't tell where the pain is, it seems to be the heart, it seems to be the stomach, and it seems to be the knee and ribs.Ning Yixiao couldn't tell the difference, he wanted to smoke, he rummaged through the box to find a half-smoked Marlboro, but he couldn't find it anywhere.

In the end, he messed up his office, and his brain too.

He wanted to know why Su Hui gave such an answer, why he still watched the hanging sun with him when he thought of happy things.Have you ever thought about him?ever loved him?Have you really not been happy during the six years of separation?what happened?Who did you go through with when you were in pain?

Why did it appear again when he thought he was about to forget everything.

Why are you saying this to strangers.

In the unbearable untidyness and chaos, Ning Yixiao returned to the computer and read the email sent by Su Hui for the second time.

Touching the keyboard with his fingers, he typed many, many words he wanted to say, all of which were the unwillingness and pain accumulated over the past six years, but he calmed down and deleted them one by one.

Ten minutes later, Su Hui received the email.

[Sean: That must be beautiful.This is also a very good memory for you. The person who accompanied you to see the hanging sun should also be very happy. ]

Su Hui's reply was very short, without any extra emotion or expectation.

[Eddy: I ​​want him to be happy. ]

[Sean: Is he important to you? ]

About 10 minutes later, he got Su Hui's answer.

[Eddy: We all have a new life.Everyone is the same, someone more important will appear to create new memories, isn't it? ]

He didn't seem to respond positively, but answered in another way.

Ning Yixiao suddenly calmed down, the restlessness in his heart and the uneasiness brought about by the outside world seemed to be frozen.He couldn't hear any sound, only his dull heartbeat.

[Sean: You are right, no matter how good the memories of the past are, they are not important anymore, everything must look forward.I am much better, thank you for your story, hope you are happy too. ]

[Sean: Correspondingly, in return, if you need any help, please feel free to contact me. ]

After closing the mailbox, Ning Yixiao tidied up her chaotic desktop one by one, then logged into the internal mailbox account of work, and devoted herself to work.

In the blink of an eye, the afternoon passed, it was getting dark, and there was a knock on the door of his room.

Ning Yixiao got up and opened the door. To his surprise, it was his psychiatrist Grace who came.

"Long time no see, Shaw, can I go in?"

"Of course." He opened the door, "Sit wherever you want."

"It's the first time I've come here. The house is nice, but it's a bit too spacious."

Grace praised a few words, sat on the sofa that Jingming gave her, and said straight to the point, "I happened to be attending a public welfare event in New York these few days, and Carl called to make an appointment and said that you were not in good condition during this time. It's over there, I'll come and see you."

Ning Yixiao nodded, "Do you want to consult here?"

"It's all right. Of course, I hope that the consultation environment will be as relaxed as possible, so that you will not be so closed." Grace smiled, "You are too busy, and you have failed to make many appointments. This is not good for your recovery. Well, come, sit in the chair in front of me."

Ning Yixiao hesitated for a moment, but did as he did.He seemed very quiet, with no expression on his face, and he couldn't see any emotional fluctuations just now.

"How about the old injuries on your body recently?" Grace asked with concern.

"It's okay." Ning Yixiao lowered his eyes.

Grace smiled, "Winter in New York is tough. I've only been here for a few days, and the rheumatism on my body is already unbearable. What's more, you have such a serious injury before, so you still need to take good care of it."

Ning Yixiao nodded, "Thank you."

Grace noticed his attire and environment: a black turtleneck sweater wrapped herself tightly; the skin on his hands was very dry, even red and inflamed; there were not many ornaments on the table, including his skin Gloves and hand sanitizer.

Ning Yixiao would occasionally lose his mind, his eyelashes fluttered slightly, and his eyes didn't know where to focus. Usually, at such times, he would count the number of certain objects in his heart, back and forth, in order to calm his heart down.

"Shaw, I'm starting today's consultation."

Ning Yixiao raised his eyes, at this moment his eyes were suddenly very fragile, but it only lasted for a short second.

"Okay." He nodded.

Grace opened the notebook and began to record Ning Yixiao's answers.

"Has anything unusual happened recently?" she asked.

Ning Yixiao was silent for a moment, and said frankly: "I met my ex."

His eyes were looking at the lower left corner, and he couldn't look directly into the doctor's eyes. His voice was very low, even a little hoarse. To the point where he would hate him, or feel nothing at all, but no."

Grace showed great patience, "So when facing him, how did you feel?"

"Very contradictory."

Grace nodded, "Tell me in detail?"

Ning Yixiao was silent for a while, "When I see him in pain, I will also be in pain, but at the same time, I will keep thinking about the scene where he left, every word he said, and everything that happened after that day. I just... want to hate him."

"When you see him, you will ruminate your mind and keep thinking about the fragments of being hurt, right?"

"Yes."

"Including the scene of the accident that happened later?"

Ning Yixiao nodded.

"Is it recalling vague sensations, or very specific sights and sounds, or even smells?"

"Specific, very specific."

Grace nodded, recorded it, and changed the subject, "What did you do later?"

Ning Yixiao said calmly, "I found an excuse to visit him and tried to help him, but I might have disturbed him in the process."

"Do you think it's working? Has it had a positive effect on you?"

Ning Yixiao thought, it doesn't seem to be the case, helping him has no effect, and offending and hurting him is even more useless.

He shook his head in place of an answer.

The scary thing is that at this time, I was even afraid that Grace would suddenly say, don't meet Su Hui again, let him go and find the happiness in life.

"Shaw, do you know what you want to do now?"

Ning Yixiao watched her quietly and met her gaze.

To a certain extent, Grace seemed to see the boy who asked him for help a few years ago. He was deeply in the mud, addicted to alcohol, not as successful, not as mature and stable as he is now, and would cry during consultations. Tell her it hurts.

Ning Yixiao finally shook his head.

Grace has long been used to his closed state, "Then let me ask in another way, do you want to punish him for your own pain?"

Ning Yixiao relaxed, "I can't do this."

"why?"

"Because he's vulnerable."

When he said this, Ning Yixiao's tone was firmer than answering any questions, as if he was very sure, "He is sick and has not recovered. Sometimes he thinks of leaving, even when we are happy, he will suddenly feel sad , secretly take a fruit knife."

Grace observed him, and found that Ning Yixiao could hardly continue when he said this.

"What's more...he's having a hard time right now. Grace, I'm really angry with him, but I'm also worried about him."

The door was closed tightly, and Carl, who was standing in the aisle, didn't know what was going on inside.

For every psychological consultation, he only helps to make reservations, and does not understand the condition of his boss.

He thinks back to his first day at work, as a fledgling rookie at this new start-up.

On the first day of work, he complained a lot to his friends.For example, how terrible his boss’s obsessive-compulsive disorder is. There must be a few fixed pens on the table, and the position of each item cannot be changed. He will wash his hands constantly, and his requirements for cleaning are surprisingly high.

At that time, he thought that with such a difficult leader, he would not be able to stay for long.

But it is very strange that Ning Yixiao, who is so self-demanding and almost harsh, tolerates his mistakes time and time again, teaches him how to deal with affairs step by step, gives him very high treatment, and occasionally gives him life. help on .

Karl once asked Jingming, a person like Shaw, who is already so powerful, can obviously find a more capable assistant, why should he keep using him.

At that time, Jing Ming just smiled and said, "Because this guy is nostalgic."

After the psychological consultation was over, Ning Yixiao opened the door, looking the same as usual.

He asked Carl to take Grace to the airport, and Grace said it was just right, and Carl could bring the medicine back by the way.

While driving, Grace asks, "Shaw hasn't been able to drive lately, has he?"

Carl nodded, "He hasn't tried it at all. No matter where he goes, the driver will drive. If the driver is not there, I will drive. For example, today, the driver is sick, so I will take care of it."

Grace nodded and praised his driving skills. Carl smiled and talked to her about some irrelevant topics. Grace smiled very brightly, which made him suddenly think of Su Hui sitting in the co-pilot not long ago. .

It's very quiet, like a puppet that doesn't talk to humans.

In the old apartment in Brooklyn, Su Hui, who was as quiet as a puppet, politely replied to Sean's question after thinking over and over again.

Thinking that the other party would not reply, he left the table and walked into the bathroom with his luggage.

Su Hui sorted out the daily necessities that needed to be taken to the hospital one by one. It went smoothly at first, and the blank luggage bag was filled up bit by bit like a brain.

But he still couldn't find the detergent that grandma used to use.

The distress gradually spread, and almost instantly, Su Hui fell into a silent collapse.

Unable to support the mirror cabinet with his hands, his body slid down feebly and ended up lying on the bathroom floor.He is like a child who has no way to control his emotions. The drugs have lost their effect, his mind is empty, the emotional valve is instantly reversed, and the somatic reaction controls his body.

This is what often happens.

Just from the time he met Ning Yixiao again, he experienced the transformation and torment of the depression period—a brief normal period—and then entered the depression period, and fell into the abyss of severe depression again before he even reached the mania period.

Hypomania didn't seem to appear for a long time, and he lost even the ability to be happy through the disease.

I don't know how long I lay there, Su Hui couldn't get up to take the medicine at all, the sky gradually darkened, and the bathroom was completely dark.

The screen of the phone flickered on and off, and some calls came in, but they were hung up because they couldn't be connected, back and forth, like fireflies on the surface of a dark lake, appearing briefly, then leaving him.

Su Hui was split into two parts, one part wanted to cheer up very much, but the other part was deeply mired in the mud and couldn't lift up any strength.

Every minute seemed to be slowed down and became painfully long.

He began to hallucinate, and everything in the bathroom became very large and began to fly. He could only close his eyes, and gradually lost consciousness and fell into a coma.

It started snowing again.

Ning Yixiao ended another meeting, looked out the window, and suddenly felt anxious.

He took the medicine, sat quietly on the office chair for a long time, and finally opened the anonymous mailbox.

It has been five hours since he sent the last email, but Su Hui has not replied.

Ning Yixiao thought she knew him well.Su Hui is a person who likes to post the last sentence by herself.

Not sure if his habits had changed, or because of other reasons, Ning Yixiao tried to send another email.

[Sean: By the way, I want to know if you will have new works on display?I'd like to check it out if possible. ]

A full hour passed and he received no response.

Ning Yixiao began to feel that something was wrong, and called Carl, "Where are you now?"

"Me? I'm at my mom's house, we have a family reunion today, what's up Shaw, is something wrong?"

Ning Yixiao paused, "Nothing." Then he said, "Give me Eddy's current address."

Carl sent it quickly, and Ning Yixiao contacted the driver, but the driver had the flu and is currently in the hospital on water.

Afraid that he was thinking too much, Ning Yixiao thought for a long time, and finally chose to call Su Hui's saved number, but no matter how many times he called, the other party did not connect.

This feeling is too familiar, I don't know how many times it happened to him.Panic began to spread, and before he had time to think about it, Ning Yixiao put on his coat, searched for his driver's license, went to the garage, drove the car and left.

He hadn't driven for a long time, he was not proficient, and because of psychological barriers, he drove extremely hard, and almost rear-ended. It was obviously not a long journey, but he felt that he had driven for a long time, and his palms were covered in cold sweat when he arrived.

This is the most shabby-looking apartment building in this block. Even the street lights at the entrance are broken, and it is pitch black, which affects vision.Ning Yixiao turned on the flashlight of her mobile phone to illuminate the way, and entered the stairwell of the apartment from the entrance.

But he didn't know which floor or room Su Hui lived in, and Karl didn't know either.He couldn't think of any other way for a while, so he had to knock on the door from house to house, starting from the first floor.

Of the three residents on the first floor, only one opened the door for him. It was a young man and a woman. As soon as he opened the door, Ning Yixiao could smell the strong smell of tobacco in the room.

The attitude of the other party was not friendly, and they cursed a few bad words.

But Ning Yixiao was not angry, and still tried to describe Su Hui's appearance to them, but the couple seemed to have just taken drugs, and their minds were completely unconscious, and they closed the door heavily before he finished speaking.

Ning Yixiao could only go upstairs, starting from the first household on the second floor, one after another, but found nothing.

Until he went up to the third floor and was about to ring the doorbell, a middle-aged woman walked up the corridor and looked at his face.

Ning Yixiao seized the opportunity, "Hello, do you know that there is a young man named Eddy who lives here, who is about the same height as me, very thin, Chinese like me, with long hair..."

Before he finished describing, the middle-aged woman immediately said, "Are you Mr. Liang?"

Ning Yixiao was stunned.

The other party thought he guessed right, and was quite happy, "That's right? Eddy's grandma mentioned it to me, saying that she is tall and handsome, and this is the first time I've seen you? I'm their landlord, What's the matter? Come find Eddy."

Ning Yixiao didn't bother to explain too much, "Yes, can you take me to see him? He won't answer my calls, I'm afraid something will happen to him."

Upon hearing this, the landlady didn't gossip, and immediately took Ning Yixiao to the innermost room, and opened the door with the spare key.

"Why is it so dark?"

She called Su Hui's English name, and fumbled to turn on the light. She didn't expect the young man behind her to move faster, as if she was very familiar, and rushed into the room, looking for Su Hui's whereabouts.

"Su Hui? Su Hui? Where are you?"

He went to the bedroom first, and then to the bathroom. Sure enough, Su Hui was lying on the floor, and the whole person had fallen into a coma.

Ning Yixiao subconsciously probed his nose, then his wrists and clothes to see if there was any blood, fortunately there was no injury, but his body temperature was very high.Without thinking too much, Ning Yixiao directly picked him up by the waist and took him out.

"Hey where are you going!"

"Hospital." Ning Yixiao dropped those words, carried Su Hui downstairs, put him on the passenger seat, and drove to the hospital.

During the driving, Ning Yixiao almost forgot their relationship, everything seemed to go back to six years ago, and everything was happening again.It seemed that even God finally began to take pity on them. The green light all the way did not make Ning Yixiao wait an extra minute.

It wasn't until Su Hui was successfully sent to the psychiatric emergency room, and the doctor told him that the problem was not serious, and that he was sent in a timely manner, that he let go of his hanging heart a lot.

At two o'clock in the morning, Ning Yixiao was standing alone in the hospital corridor, wanting to smoke or wash his hands, but he held back.

Not long after, the doctor came out again and told him that the patient didn't seem to eat much recently, his intake was too little, and he was already somewhat malnourished. He had better prepare some light and nutritious food and eat it after he woke up.

Ning Yixiao agreed, and left the hospital without hesitation, and drove around the neighborhood in the early morning to find a supermarket that was still open.

I finally found one, a 24-hour store, and he was the only customer in the entire store.Ning Yixiao was very fast, and bought ingredients such as eggs, cod, vegetables, and a lot of seasonings.

When checking out, he found that the cashier was a young mother standing at the cash register, and beside her was a small recliner, on which a child about three years old was sleeping.

Ning Yixiao didn't say a word, after the clerk gave the change, he took out two more, pushed them in front of the clerk together with the previous change, and left alone.

He returned to his luxury apartment in Manhattan, the penthouse at about [-] feet, his first real estate purchase.In fact, after Ning Yixiao bought it, he didn't live there. He spent most of his time in the Bay Area and didn't spend much time in New York.

Even if he lives in, he will only use the office and bedroom here, and will not touch the rest at all.

On this special occasion today, Ning Yixiao used the kitchen here for the first time.He hasn't cooked for a long time, but he still picks the bones of the fish skillfully, slices them into fillets, and boils them in the thick porridge.

Muscle memory came faster than his brain. Before he realized it, he had already beaten the eggs, crushed them and added water, but thinking of Su Hui's avoiding eyes, he still threw them out and made scrambled eggs instead.

At six o'clock in the morning, Carl, who had just woken up, received a call from Ning Yixiao. The other party made a strange request, asking if he had a packing box at home.

Carl asked his mother and found some, all of which he used to pack lunch for his younger siblings.

"Okay, that's all."

He took a clean packing box to Ning Yixiao's home, and found that there were several Chinese dishes that looked great on the island in the kitchen - porridge with sliced ​​vegetables and fish, fried shrimp with egg, boiled cabbage heart and fried cod.

"You made this?" He was a little surprised. After all, this was the first time he saw Ning Yixiao cook by himself, and he did it so well that he could open a Chinese restaurant downstairs in the company.

Ning Yixiao glanced at him, as if saying, "Don't ask so many questions that you shouldn't ask".

Carl has followed him for many years, tacit understanding is the most important thing, so he stopped talking immediately, "I will pack first."

During the packing period, Ning did not leave overnight, but just stood aside and stared at him, making Carl a little stressed, and jokingly said, "Why don't you come?"

I thought he would be unhappy after hearing this, but I didn't expect that he actually did it himself, and packed it in an orderly, clean and beautiful way, much better than him.

As expected of a clean freak.

"I've sent you the address, and I'll send it there later." Ning Yixiao paused, and then said, "It's best to watch him finish eating."

"Who?" Carl was keenly aware of something, "It can't be Eddy, can it?"

Ning Yixiao raised his eyes, "How do you know?"

Carl rubbed his nose, "Just now... Mr. Liang called me. He asked me if I saw Eddy, and said he couldn't be reached."

As soon as he finished speaking, Ning Yixiao's complexion became ugly again, and he fell into silence.

Carl stood aside anxiously, regretting mentioning this matter. The super power he wishes to have most at this moment is "withdraw", especially when facing Ning Yixiao.

Unexpectedly, Ning Yixiao did not get angry this time. After 2 minutes, he spoke very calmly, "Call Liang Wen, arrange a meeting place, and hand over all the food to him."

"Ah?" Karl didn't understand, "This...you are not..."

"If you brought it to the hospital, he will know who gave it to you." Ning Yixiao lowered his eyes.

If he knew it, he might not want to eat it.

Karl knew that the "he" in this sentence refers to Su Hui.

Ning Yixiao got up, looking indifferent, even a little casual, "Give it to Liang Wen, tell him not to mention you, and don't say who did it. If he is smart enough, he knows what to do."

Carl looked down at the heavy lunch box in his hand, feeling uncomfortable. He was obviously a real brother, but why did he look like an enemy.

"Then do I still have to stare at Eddy?"

Ning Yixiao went upstairs without any hesitation.

"No, come back to the meeting early."

The author has something to say:

Ning Yixiao, why did you take the script of the bitter male second?

(Don't say that the child has no mouth, he has (you know it from the memory), but he feels that it is useless to stand at this time)