Helpless

In the master room, Kagura took the piece of paper left by Kamikaze, looked at it carefully and read aloud: "Tsukihime, an ugly woman from Edo sent by space pirate Haruyu, who got her position by selling her looks, She flirts all day long, but men like her, so men who are superficial and only look at their appearance are the most annoying, such men are really stupid... Silver sauce, what do you mean by being flirtatious?"

"Oh, let's lie on the sofa first." Yinshi put down "JUMP", looked up at her, and said in a flat tone, "...unbutton two buttons, let down your hair, and spread your thighs—"

"Hey Yin-san——! Kagura, don't do what he says! After all, that so-called document is full of Kamikaze-san's own subjective opinions and complaints, right? What kind of document is that?"

?A discerning man will appreciate a simple and gentle woman?

——Hey, Sougo, how many times have I told you not to sleep on duty! BY Toshiro Hijikata

——What does it matter, it is said on TV that today a Cancer can kill a Taurus while lying down and sleeping. BY Okita Sougo

— Bastard cut seppuku for me! BY Hijikata Shiro

——I don’t know, Mr. Hijikata, please demonstrate first. BY Okita Sougo

——Let me help you make a mistake. BY Toshiro Hijikata

"Deputy Chief!" Yamazaki Tui hurried over, "Deputy Chief! Bureau Chief—"

"Which family's sister hung it at the door?"

"……………………No!"

"Oh." Sougo lay down again and put the blindfold on.

"...It shouldn't be this kind of reaction, hey!" Tufang pressed his forehead, "What's wrong with him?"

"A woman stood at the gate of the Shinsengumi with her child in her arms, saying that if the director was irresponsible, she hanged the child at the gate!"

"Zouwu, it's your turn to play." Tufang took out a cigarette from his pocket, put one in his mouth, and then took out a lighter that was a model of a mayonnaise bottle—turning his head slightly, watching that he had set himself up within a second The iron cannon on his shoulders, "...Hey, I asked you to deal with that woman and child."

Okita Sougo showed him a refreshing smile: "After I've dealt with Hijikata, I'll deal with that woman and child. You can die at ease, Hijikata."

"...You just let me die first."

Shinsengumi gate.

"You really don't even want to recognize your child?!" Kamikaze's teary eyes turned to look at the camera, "I look forward to the day every day, the month, the month, and the year..."

— Your instinct is just to look for opportunities to be on TV, right? !The anchor Hanano who was in charge of the location interview kindly reminded her: "In order to protect your privacy, we have mosaiced you."

"Let my mother who is far away in my hometown listen to my voice!" Kamikaze waved his hand and said shyly, "To be honest, I wanted to be a star when I was young, but I was kicked in the face by a bastard, so this dream It can only be dusty in the memory."

"..." You got kicked out of your head by a donkey, right?

"If you continue to surround here, I will arrest you all for obstructing official duties!" Hijikata, Sougo and others appeared at the door. The former, with a cigarette in his mouth as always, glanced around coldly, pointing at Kamikaze, "Take She grabs it."

"Oh oh oh oh oh! Did you see that the Shinsengumi abused their power? Hey, let's take a close-up of him!" Kamikaze excitedly pulled the camera away, "Look, this is the man who robbed me of a man! Oh oh oh More than one! Aww—”

"Mr. Hijikata, can I get rid of her on the spot?" Sougo raised the iron cannon.

"Break the camera first, don't be photographed, the image of Shinsengumi has been ruined by you recently."

"Wait——!" The eyes of the crowd followed the voice, and the director of the Shinsengumi, Isao Kondo, looked serious. Under the attention of the crowd, he walked to a place one step away from the kamikaze, with a height of 184, condescending Looking at 165's kamikaze, his resolute eyes were full of scrutiny, and the atmosphere gradually became tense. Even Yamazaki also clenched the badminton racket in his hand until Isao Kondo said——

"Please forgive me for making such a heinous mistake!" Kondo Isao looked serious, saluted Kamikaze at a 90° right angle, and said loudly, "I am willing to bear all the consequences for this!"

Are you sure it's your species?How do you think that woman hugged a monkey instead of an orangutan? !Hijikata waved and said to Yamazaki, "Get the director back."

"Fourteen!" Kondo Hoon said in a deep voice, "A man who cannot take responsibility is not worthy of being called a man!" He turned his head to look at the camera and sighed slightly, "...Miss A Miao, although I'm sorry, But since it was a mistake made when I was 14—"

bang——

He fell to the ground.

Hijikata stood behind him, turned his head and said, "Hey Yamazaki, the director has suffered from heat stroke, take him back."

"So this is the truth. I didn't expect you, Mr. Hijikata, to be so vicious on the outside and inside." Sougo said with a dazed look on his face, "Hurry up and cut your belly, you waste of air, Hijikata."

"Go to hell with that bastard Sougo who can't even sympathize with mayonnaise."

"...The above is the commotion that happened at the gate of the Shinsengumi. We will continue to follow up and report on this incident. Whether everyone is happy and the infatuated girl finally changes his mind, or the Shinsengumi treacherously uses power for personal gain. Please wait and see!" Hanano Looking at the camera with a serious face, "I will pass the camera to other anchors."

Then the TV camera flashed, and the scene of the zoo appeared.Another anchor looked serious, and said to the camera: "Yesterday, Edo Zoo was patronized by thieves. A five-month-old monkey was stolen from the zoo. Now the police are investigating. I hope all citizens will actively cooperate with the investigation." , if you see a monkey, please contact us immediately..."

Ding--

Shinpachi turned off the TV, looked back at Yinshi who was leaning on the lazily watching TV, the corner of his mouth twitched and said with a dry smile: "Yin-sang, it's time for us to start work..."

***

Kamikaze knelt on the tatami, turned his head and stared at the child who was climbing the tree with tender eyes——

Hey, look left, look right, that's a standard monkey, right? !

"There has been such a big commotion..." Tufang sat across from her, looking at her with extremely majestic indifference, "Who are you? What's your purpose?"

"Of course I came to find my father with the child." Kamikaze smiled, "Master Kondo went to the store to drink, and then [beep——], then [beep——] and then [beep——], even the money for the drink It was all paid for him afterwards by me. Now the shop is occupied by those vagrants who call themselves patriots. I have nowhere to go with my children. If you tell my mother not to look for this bastard man, who else can I look for? "

"Ninety or one hundred women come to Mr. Hijikata every month with this story in their arms." Sougo said with a flat face and a flat tone, "But I didn't expect Mr. Hijikata to be so cheeky as to use the name of Boss Kondo." It’s really unconscionable to pick up a woman, Mr. Hijikata, you must die soon.”

"Sousuke, shut up." Hijikata took out a cigarette, took out a lighter, and looked at Kamikaze, "—As for you, you should lie to ghosts with such stories."

Sougo was carrying a flamethrower: "Let me light the fire for you." Then he aimed at Kamikaze.

"Zouwu!" Everyone turned their heads and saw Kondo Isao who pushed the door and came in, with a face full of remorse for his sinful appearance——

Hey, don't be so active in self-substitution!Where on earth did you get the courage to admit that monkey is your son? !

"Please forgive me! Although I can't give you my wholehearted self for the time being—" Kondo Hoon knelt down in front of Kamikaze, and said loudly, "Even if I want to use my remaining life of Kondo Hoon to forget Miss A Miao, in Before that, I will also give my child a complete family!"

"Since you've said that, let's plan the wedding first." Kamikaze turned around and said, "Come here, Xiao Xiaoxun, let's go and see what kind of room your father has prepared for us. A spacious and bright room with a separate entrance and a yard. You can’t force me to bring meat for three meals a day. Although you are still in the stage of growing your body, you would rather starve to death than ask daddy like this. Let you Slowly starving to death or even deformed due to malnutrition, you can't ask for three meals with meat. Except, I don't have to bear my medicine, although I have to suffer every day because of the root cause of the disease that I gave birth to Mr. Kondo's child alone medicine, but you can’t ask Mr. Kondo to bear all the expenses because of this, even if I get sick and die in the future, I can’t turn into a ghost and come to Mr. Kondo to ask for my life.”

As she spoke, she took out a prescription and put it on the table, and said with a smile, "This is a prescription."

——Is what you said before all nonsense? !

***

In the end, Kamikaze hugged the monkey and sat on the porch of the spacious house with an independent door to blow the wind. He looked up at the bloody setting sun on the other side of the wall. It seemed too stagnant at this moment.

"I don't care what your background is, if you leave now, it won't be difficult for you."

She turned her head slightly and looked at Dodo who was leaning on the colonnade: "Are you afraid that your chief will be cheated by a woman? You are really a good subordinate who cares about your boss. But a country woman like me will not be able to marry into the city in eight lifetimes. Kondo Mr. is such a responsible man, and the cost of medicine has risen recently, Mr. Tufang, you are really cruel to an orphan and widow."

"Since you refuse to leave, you'd better play it safe, once I get the evidence of your ambition—" Tufang turned around, glanced sideways at her, "Even if you are a woman, I will never let you go. "His gaze was full of murderous intent at that moment, and the coldness in his tone was enough to chill the heart of a timid person.

"Ah, thank you for your advice." Kamikaze yawned, "Hey, Saburo, let's go in and rest, mom is tired."

——Hey, isn’t that monkey called Xiao Xiaoxun? !This bastard doesn't match his words at all!

"...By the way," Kamikaze stopped and turned to look at Hijikata's back, "Let the person who bought the medicine move faster, the doctor said that if you don't take the medicine on time, the medicine's effect will be greatly reduced."

Watching her enter the room and close the door sideways, Tukata left slowly, went to his own room, took out a cigarette, and said in a deep voice, "Yamazaki."

Yamazaki retreated from the yard to the door: "Deputy chief!"

"Go and stare at that woman," he lit a cigarette, took a puff, and said in an unquestionable voice amidst the curling smoke, "If she has any abnormalities, kill her on the spot."

"Yes!"

***

It was night, Yamazaki Tai was lurking in the yard where Kamikaze lived, silently gnawing red bean bread, watching Kondo, who was flushed and embarrassed, retreated from the gate of the yard by taking one step back and three steps, and then ran quickly Go forward, then keep going back.Kamikaze's gentle voice came from the door of the house: "If you want to see your son, you can just say it directly. Mr. Xun is still as shy as before." She stood at the door, looking extremely thin, and said Then he covered his mouth and smiled.

Kondo was startled, and an embarrassed expression appeared on his face again: "That..."

"Come on, Kogoro, Dad is here to see you." Kamikaze turned around and grabbed the monkey that was rolling on the floor by the tail and dragged it to the door, "Mr. His face. Mr. Hoon can touch him."

--Eh?Wasn't it called Xiao Xiaoxun before?Yamazaki silently swallowed the red bean bread in his mouth, looked down, dug a hole on the ground silently, and then decisively buried the remaining half of the bread in it.

Kondo blushed and moved quickly in small steps, took a look, and was embarrassed to peek at the gentle kamikaze: "...I'm really sorry, I have worked hard for you for so many years... Eh? Why does he have a tail?"

Kamikaze explained righteously: "Oh, the place where I live has been exposed to radiation, so this child was born with five legs, and this is the fifth leg. Mr. Xun, as the director of the Shinsengumi, is arresting the aliens. In addition to Langshi, if you can contact people from the Environmental Bureau to pay attention to environmental issues, it will definitely benefit the public even more."

***

In the Master Room, Shinpachi was still doing the calculations, but he was still thinking about the past. The more he thought about it, the more he felt puzzled and curious, so he raised his head and asked, "Yin-san, what kind of person is Kamikaze-san?" ?”

Yin Shi flipped through "JUMP", and replied casually: "An unreliable person." Then he covered his face with the book and fell asleep.

--Huh?Does that mean like attracts like? BY Shimura Shinpachi

The author has something to say: I really like Yamazaki Tai, so handsome, so handsome! >_

In the civil turmoil in the Shinsengumi, I was already on the verge of death, and I wanted to find the deputy chief and tell him the information... It’s too cruel QAQ

Then a friend of mine asked me: why do you like Shin Hachi and Yamazaki Tei the most...

I thought about it for a long time, and answered in a deep tone: Birds of a feather flock together...well........ I don't have any sense of existence ==

to Sanyue: Hahahahaha......... Xizi has really thought about this question, her hobby is to fill up questions related to marriage infinitely -_,-|||