palm discarded beads

Years later, Qin Mingzhu likes to listen to an old song very much.

He often sat on the sofa at sunset, when magenta light poured into the room like pearls.Over time, the pearls rolled on the floor faded little by little, turning into cinders that no one cared about.

Euphemistic monologues spread across the room.

"goodbye,

Don't blame me for saying goodbye to you at the first sentence,

Because I really came here to say goodbye to you..."

Qin Mingzhu always wondered if he had been more vigilant back then, would Yan Jiayu have no accident?If he refused to agree to go abroad, would Yan Jiayu be fine now?

Or...or, he didn't confess to Yan Jiayu, or, he didn't say that hurtful thing that year, it's fine.

He really wanted Yan Jiayu to live.

But the 21-year-old Qin Mingzhu has neither the ability to predict the future nor the ability to modify the past.

At this time, when he learned that Yan Jiayu hadn't come to work for more than half a year, his first reaction was whether Yan Jiayu had an accident, or why he hadn't come to work for more than half a year and lied to him.

Qin Mingzhu found a quiet coffee shop and called Yan Jiayu.When he was on the phone, his emotions were always tense, and he was afraid of hearing bad news.

The bell rang for a while before it was answered.

"Hello, Pearl."

I don't know if Qin Mingzhu thought too much, he always felt that Yan Jiayu's voice was different from before, as if he had become weaker.

When he was comparing the changes in his voice, Yan Jiayu spoke again, "Did you suffer from insomnia again?"

"Brother Jiayu, where are you now?" Qin Mingzhu gripped the phone tightly.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone, "Mingzhu, are you in China? You came to see me?"

Qin Mingzhu hummed softly, he knew he couldn't hide it from Yan Jiayu, Yan Jiayu was too smart, "I'm downstairs in your company, but they said you haven't come to work for more than half a year. Brother Jiayu, don't hide it from me, you are Did something happen?"

He thought of the year Yan Jiayu said, and suddenly felt bad, "We are a couple, don't treat me like a child, okay? What happened?"

Yan Jiayu called Qin Mingzhu's name twice on the other end of the phone, and even called them the intimate nicknames they only occasionally used in bed.

"Don't worry, listen to me slowly, good boy. It's nothing serious, I'm fine, but I can't tell you what I'm doing now, I want to find you after everything is over. Mingzhu, I really want to You, let's meet on your 22nd birthday."

When Qin Mingzhu heard the words of missing him, his ears couldn't help getting hot, but he was also very worried about Yan Jiayu, "Is there really nothing wrong? Can you just tell me a little bit?"

"It's okay, um, yes, I can't tell you anything now, I want to leave a surprise for you to see later." The person on the other end of the phone let out a chuckle.

What surprise has been kept from him for so long?

Qin Mingzhu thought suspiciously, he still wanted to ask, but it was the first time he knew that Yan Jiayu could practice Tai Chi and change the subject, and he couldn't beat Yan Jiayu at all.

After he couldn't ask the result, he could only say: "Then you promise me that you will be fine, and you can't tell me if something goes wrong."

"Yes." Yan Jiayu replied.

In the following time, Qin Mingzhu kept in touch with Yan Jiayu, even returning to once a day, which made Qin Mingzhu feel relieved.

He drew a circle with a pink pen on the calendar, it was his birthday, and it was also the day Yan Jiayu said he would come to see him.

In previous years, Qin Mingzhu's birthday would definitely be a sensation in the whole city.

This year, he rejected the enthusiastic suggestions from his classmates for having a party early in the morning, and told his parents and others early on that the weather here is cold and he is far away from China, so he will not celebrate this year's birthday, and he will give it to him when he returns to China Just make it big.

In this way, he counted the days that Yan Jiayu said would come day by day.

When he woke up on his birthday, he checked his phone immediately. There were countless birthday congratulations sent on time in the early hours of last night.He returned all his family's information, and began to focus on finding news about Yan Jiayu.

No.

Why not?

Every year Yan Jiayu would say happy birthday to him on time.

Qin Mingzhu put away the phone, picked it up again within a minute and checked it carefully, there was indeed no message from Yan Jiayu.

His mood couldn't help getting worse, and this mood had dropped to freezing point by six o'clock in the afternoon.

Even in summer, the temperature in this country is still not high.

Qin Mingzhu sat at the door, put on her waterproof boots, got up and walked out.Although it was already six o'clock in the afternoon, it was extremely daylight and there would be no darkness at all.He thought he could wait until Yan Jiayu today, and he had already booked a restaurant, but now he was alone.

He didn't want to go to the couple's restaurant by himself, so he chose not to eat like a self-abuse.

It was like this when I was young. Once I encountered something that didn’t go my way, I thought vindictively, it’s better to be miserable, it’s better to be miserable, so as to prove that I am the most pitiful person in the world, so that I can feel more sorry for myself , It also makes the grievance more justifiable.

Qin Mingzhu walked towards the block, turning a blind eye to the dazzling array of shops on the roadside, even though he was very hungry.After turning around for a while, he found that the people on the street were in groups, and he was alone. He felt more and more uncomfortable, so he had to go back along the original road.

He has never tasted this feeling, disappointed, lonely, feeling that he has been abandoned by the whole world.

At this time, Qin Mingzhu was young, beautiful, and wealthy. From his point of view, there was no more sad moment than now.

But later he learned that there are countless moments in life that are more painful than now.

For example, when he curled up in the closet, praying to God to bless Yan Jiayu.

For example, when he was standing on a barren hill, surrounded by the cries of the families of the victims.

There are also moments that aren't immediately heart-piercing.

Like when he lowered his head but was coldly pushed away by Sheng Yingqi.

Like when he was sitting by the bed late at night, waiting for Sheng Yingqi who hadn't come back yet and wouldn't come back tonight.

Qin Mingzhu walked back to the downstairs of the house in a sullen mood. Before he could climb the steps, he heard someone calling him.

"Pearl."

After Qin Mingzhu was taken aback for a moment, she quickly turned around.

Many years later, he still remembers the scene when he saw Yan Jiayu that day.

The fairytale-like house with red roof and white walls on the opposite side is lit with colorful decorative lights, which were not removed in the last festival.The light also dyed the goose-yellow tree on the corner of the street. Yan Jiayu was under the tree, dressed in an apricot sweater and jeans, without a cane in his hand, walking steadily towards him.

When she was hugged into her arms, Qin Mingzhu couldn't believe her eyes.He lowered his head to take a closer look at Yan Jiayu's legs, but was kissed on the forehead first.

"Happy birthday, my pearl." Yan Jiayu gently kissed Qin Mingzhu's forehead, and the ink pearl showed a smile, "Now there are 22 minutes before the minute you were born 1 years ago, you can think about it first. Wish, let's eat first."

This is the first time Qin Mingzhu received the words "Happy Birthday" at 19:55 when he was born.

Every year thereafter, Yan Jiayu would say happy birthday to him at this time of his birthday until Yan Jiayu passed away.

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Quote:

"goodbye,

Don't blame me for saying goodbye to you at the first sentence,

Because I really came here to say goodbye to you. "—the song "3000 Years Ago"