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Ni Xingqiao suddenly discovered that in all these years, in a sense, Yao Xu had never been "strong".He is always persecuted.

Being forced to be mature and sensible, being forced to shoulder everything that should not be borne by him.

Yao Xu never had an innocent and carefree boyhood, and was pushed into the world of adults early on.

He didn't want to grit his teeth and insist, but if he didn't, he wouldn't be able to live.Ni Xingqiao squeezed Yao Xu's ears, patted Yao Xu on the back, and said to Yao Xu like coaxing a child, "You don't want to either." Yao Xu is not a hero, not the god of this world.Ni Xingqiao is not a saint either, he can forgive everything.

However, regarding Yao Xu, he has experienced too much with the other party, and he knows the pain of this person very well, so no matter what Yao Xu does, he loves and sympathizes with him.

Ni Xingqiao knew that Yao Xu didn't need his pity at all, and the word "pity" sometimes sounds very angry.But he felt sorry for Yao Xu, and the feeling in his heart couldn't be denied.All he could think of was to tolerate Yao Xu infinitely, just like Yao Xu always tolerated him when he was a child.

At the same time, Ni Xingqiao also found that they had to get to know each other again.Although they keep saying they love each other, they have to admit that their lives and personalities have undergone earth-shaking changes in the past few years.Ni Xingqiao said: "Yao Xu, let's introduce ourselves again." In the past, Ni Xingqiao, who was always cared for, led, innocent and innocent, now seems to be the leader in this relationship.He said to Yao Xu, "My name is Ni Xingqiao, an alumnus of Ancheng No. [-] Middle School. Later, I studied finance at Shancheng University for four years, and my graduate student was at Ancheng University. It sounds good to be in a family now, but I don't treat employees as human beings. The financial consulting company I saw went to work. I didn’t have a house or a car, and I didn’t make money before, but now I have.”

Yao Xu sat there quietly, listening to Ni Xingqiao tell him these things.

In fact, Yao Xu knew what he said.

In the past few years when Yao Xu didn't show up, he knew Ni Xingqiao's life trajectory like the back of his hand. He secretly looked at Ni Xingqiao almost every day, and lived by glancing at him from a distance.

"When I was 17 years old, I was ordered by a baby kisser, and it might not have been a relationship. In short, I fell in love with him. I am not a virgin, I was given oral sex, and I almost hit a home run that day." When he was here, Yao Xu was worried that he would be sad, but Ni Xingqiao looked calm and breezy.He has long accepted reality.

"Later, because of some bad things, my doll's boyfriend ran away. I have been waiting for him." Ni Xingqiao said, "Sometimes I talk a lot, and sometimes I talk very little. I can't get an erection. Anyway, I'm not a normal person. If you're with me, you might be able to bear it." Yao Xu took his hand.

"Whoever sees this resume is not afraid." Ni Xingqiao joked with him with a smile.

When facing Yao Xu, Ni Xingqiao felt that his former self had returned.

It is said that nature is hard to change, but after Yao Xu left that year, Ni Xingqiao's personality took a 180-degree turn. He was too preoccupied and did not interact with others. From that talkative little boy, he suddenly became taciturn.

Originally thought it would be like this from now on, but when he came back to Yao Xu, he seemed to have endless things to say. "it's your turn."

"I have two ID cards." Yao Xu said, "One was originally real, and its name was Yao Xu. The other was originally fake but now looks more real, and its name is Qiao Ling."

Ni Xingqiao looked down at his hands and found that Yao Xu's hands were still frostbitten. "I haven't finished high school, I haven't gone to college." Yao Xu said, "I have no father, no mother, and no home."

Ni Xingqiao felt uncomfortable at what he said, and squeezed his hand displeased.

"From the beginning, I have worked as a car washer, porter, express delivery and takeaway. Now I am helping a water delivery station deliver water." Yao Xu said, "It's all physical work with no skills."

He pointed to his head, "Because of illness, the reaction is often a little slow."

Ni Xingqiao thought for a while and said to him, "Yao Xu, I don't think this can be done." "What?"

"I'm not saying that you are different from other people when you are sick. I didn't mean that, and I didn't blame you. I know you can't help it. I also understand that you have been running around for a living, and most of the time It's very stable. But now, for your own good, and for..." Ni Xingqiao suddenly felt that Yao Xu was holding his hand harder.

He thought it was his words that made Yao Xu feel uncomfortable, so he quickly apologized. "No, you shouldn't apologize." Yao Xu said, "People like me really shouldn't hang around outside."

"That's not what I meant." Ni Xingqiao was a little anxious.Yao Xu forced a smile to comfort him, "I know what you want to say, I'm not blaming you."

He paused and continued, "But I really can't help it. I have to make money to see a doctor for myself, and I had to pay for that person's hospitalization before."

Ni Xingqiao held Yao Xu's hand in both hands, "You don't have to worry about this now, you still have me."

Yao Xu looked at Ni Xingqiao and said to him, "This is one of the reasons why I am afraid of being found by you."

Yao Xu frowned and said, "I really don't want to be your burden." Ni Xingqiao could see the worry in Yao Xu's eyes.

Ever since he was a child, Yao Xu has always been the one who carries his own world. His small universe is about to explode, and he will not be willing to ask others for help.

However, Ni Xingqiao is not someone else.

"You have never been, and cannot be, my burden." Ni Xingqiao said, "It was never this that you made me suffer, but that you refused to let me see it, and refused to let me share it with you."

Ni Xingqiao said: "If there is anything I want to do most in the world, it is to be with you and give everything." "Is it worth it?"

"Why do you care about whether it's worth it?" Ni Xingqiao said, "You have been obedient to me since childhood, so is this worth it?" "Those are trivial things that don't make sense."

"Who decides the big and small things?" Ni Xingqiao said, "You spoiled me when I was young, now it's my turn to love you." Ni Xingqiao said, "Yao Xu, I'm not a giving personality, except you, I wouldn't be like that to anyone but my parents. But you guys mean so much to me."

He told Yao Xu: "When I was very young, my parents told me that true love is unreserved and does not care about gains and losses. , in fact, it’s all for myself.”

He took Yao Xu's hand and put it on his heart, "If something happens to you, I won't dance here."

Many years ago, Yao Xu worried that the ignorant Ni Xingqiao would not be able to bear his severe overload of love, but now, as if the world was turned upside down, he began to worry that he would fail Ni Xingqiao's love.He hugged each other, ashamed and relieved.Today's Yao Xu is very bad.

He also once thought that he would continue to be bad until he died.However, Ni Xingqiao still found him, held him back, and desperately wanted to pull him out of hell.

Yao Xu swore to himself that even though Ni Xingqiao didn't care about it, he would remember each other's kindness one by one.

One day, he will turn back to the person that the other party can rely on in the past. He will make up for all his debts and pour all his love into him.

Ni Xingqiao felt Yao Xu's heartbeat and breathing, he was actually under some pressure.

The pressure came from the illusory future, from worrying about Yao Xu's condition.

But he believes that Yao Xu will not become the second Qi Meiling.

Yao Xu is not a hero, but a brave knight. The knight just fought a battle that hurt both sides and was seriously injured, but the spirit of chivalry will never fall. As long as there is faith, he will always win the war.What's more, his knight is no longer alone.

Ni Xingqiao said: "Besides, I have a selfish intention." He leaned against Yao Xu's ear and whispered to him, "I'm still counting on you to cure my heart disease."

The next day, Yao Xu sincerely apologized to the boss of the water delivery station, and then resigned from the job, but he said that he would wait until the boss found another worker before leaving.

The owner of the water delivery station liked him quite a bit, thinking that he was quiet, didn't make trouble, and just kept his head down and worked.But when people said to go, he couldn't force him to stay.

Yao Xu worked here for another two days, and when a new helper arrived, he completely resigned.

He knew that what Ni Xingqiao said was right. Even if he could live a normal life now, he was still a patient, and accidents could happen at any time. He couldn't harm others or himself.

He recalculated his savings, and at Ni Xingqiao's invitation, he moved out of the rental house and moved to Ni Xingqiao's current residence.

On the day of moving, Yao Xu took out a stack of thick notebooks from the closet, and he solemnly handed them over to Ni Xingqiao.

Ni Xingqiao opened it curiously, and found that those were Yao Xu's diaries.Some of his diaries are written very seriously, clearly recording the big and small things in life.

But there are also some very messy writing, obviously written when the state is very bad.

There are also some, only the three characters "Ni Xingqiao" are written in the whole article, and they are written crookedly, as if they were written with exhaustion.Yao Xu said, "These diaries are all for you." He told Ni Xingqiao: "I'm sorry, I should have given them to you earlier."

Ni Xingqiao looked at him and smiled, his eyes were red.

After moving, the shared second bedroom was sublet by Yao Xu. He calculated that the savings on hand could at least support his treatment for a period of time.

Then, he has one very important thing to do.Ni Xingqiao went to work, Yao Xu was the only one at home.He went out to buy some things and came back, and then quickly arranged them.Throughout the whole day, he hardly ate anything, fearing that it would be too late, so he kept busy.

Ni Xingqiao didn't hear from Yao Xu all day, and when he was about to get off work, he asked him if he wanted to go out for dinner at night, but Yao Xu said come back, I'll make dinner.

Ni Xingqiao was overjoyed, what could be better than Yao Xu's dinner for him!

He rushed home in a hurry, and kept sending Yao Xu messages on the way, asking him what he had done.

But Yao Xu kept it secret and did not disclose it at all.

When Ni Xingqiao took out the key and opened the door, he found that the house was pitch-black. He turned on the light suspiciously, and then froze in place.

Balloons and flowers were everywhere in the house, and Yao Xu stood in the middle and looked at him with a smile.

After Ni Xingqiao was shocked, he asked him, "Is this a marriage proposal?" Yao Xu walked over and took out a new pair of rings as if by magic. "I don't know when you bought it"

Yao Xu didn't answer, but asked him, "Would you like to be my boyfriend?"

After so many years, Yao Xu thought that he must give Ni Xingqiao another serious, romantic, and pious confession.

Ni Xingqiao's eyes turned red immediately: "Let me be your boyfriend, should you say something?"

"I love you very much." Yao Xu said, "I've made you suffer all these years, I'm really sorry. At that time I hadn't learned how to love someone well, but in the future, I won't be so stupid again." Ni Xingqiao Listening to his words, tears fell.

Yao Xu went over to kiss his tears with pity, and the two hugged each other.This pair of new rings was secretly bought by Yao Xu before he moved. He took the size of Ni Xingqiao's fingers while he was asleep, and the one Ni Xingqiao gave him was worn by a chain and worn on the neck.

This evening, Ni Xingqiao put on the pair of rings that Yao Xu gave him, and ate a delicious dinner prepared by Yao Xu himself.

After working outside alone for so many years, although Yao Xu doesn't know how to cook those elaborate meals, he can cook home-cooked dishes very well.Ni Xingqiao sighed while eating, they really look like "home" now.

The next day, Ni Xingqiao went to work as usual, and Yao Xu made an appointment with the doctor.

He hasn't been here for a long time. The doctor asked him how he was doing, and he told the doctor about his illness two days ago.This time, he was determined to make himself better.

The doctor re-evaluated his situation, re-adjusted the medication and dosage, and recommended a psychologist to him to continue psychotherapy.

Yao Xu's situation is actually not that bad, it is still within the controllable range, and most of the time it does not affect his daily life. His most uncontrollable period has passed.

When Yao Xu walked out of the hospital with the medicine, he found that the snow outside had started to melt.

It seems that it was still snowing heavily a few days ago, but today it seems that spring has arrived.

He stood at the entrance of the hospital for a long time, thinking about how he should tell Ni Xingqiao what the doctor said today.

Just as he was thinking about it, Ni Xingqiao sent a message.

[My parents knew that we met, so let's go home for dinner at night. 】

Yao Xu looked at this message and became uneasy again.