just simply love you

I used to think that liking was just a matter of me alone, and I didn't need her to respond. As long as I know that I like her, I am willing to pay for her unconditionally, so that's fine.But until later, when I saw her smiling at another person and acting like a baby to another person, I realized that feelings are not a person's self-feeling. I have never been able to face her intimacy with others calmly. Indifferent to this, I am a greedy and stingy person.

-------------------------------------------------- --------------------- Ji Ran

Ji Ran is 26 years old this year. He joined a good unit right after graduating from university. He has never experienced the hardships of running around looking for a job, nor has he experienced the exhaustion of working overtime after work.She is usually quite leisurely, and her colleagues in the unit are also easy to get along with. There is no intrigue in the workplace, and her life can be regarded as comfortable and comfortable.

From childhood to adulthood, although Ji Ran has never been in a relationship, he has secretly liked someone in his heart for a long time. Although it has been so long, when he thinks of it, there is still a slight pain in his heart, and then it spreads to the whole body. Meridian bones.

Ji Ran thought, what a beautiful 17-year-old Yan Qing, dressed in clean white clothes, pure and graceful, imprinted in her heart with just one glance.At that time, she was still young, and she naively thought that liking someone was a lifetime, and they would always be together and never separate.

But the reality is very cruel. Before Ji Ran was severely beaten by the society, she already understood the gulf between her and Yan Qing.

When meeting Lu Ming for the first time, Ji Ran wondered how there could be such a delicate boy who was prettier than a girl.

Lu Ming extended his hand to Ji Ran generously, with a bright smile, "Hi, I'm Lu Ming, Qingqing's boyfriend, let's play together later."

Ji Ran stared blankly at the slender white hand with well-defined joints, shook her head for a while, then turned around and walked towards the classroom without saying a word, leaving the two of them far behind.

Yan Qing smiled at Lu Ming with some embarrassment, and hurriedly chased after Ji Ran before he could explain anything.

Yan Qing caught Ji Ran at the door of the classroom, stretched out his hand to hold her cold fingertips, but Ji Ran broke free and returned to his seat expressionlessly.

From then on, Ji Ran knew that he could no longer deceive himself.She liked Yan Qing far beyond the likes among friends.

The young heart is always in turmoil, and perhaps forever is just a legend.Not long after Yan Qing and Lu Ming got together, they broke up.

After the breakup, Lu Ming sat alone in the stands of the playground and cried a lot, and happened to be seen by Ji Ran who was passing by unintentionally.

Looking at Lu Ming's crying red eyes, which were slightly soft, Ji Ran actually felt a little funny.

Lu Ming is really the most mellow boy she has ever seen. This appearance of pear blossoms with rain really makes me feel pitiful.

Ji Ran stepped forward and handed the tissue to Lu Ming, patted him on the shoulder like fate, and sighed, "Don't cry."

Lu Ming pursed his mouth after hearing this, tears were still rolling in his eyes, but he really stopped crying.

It was this accident that Ji Ran and Lu Ming gradually became good friends, and finally even became close friends.This incident often made Ji Ran sigh, who said that rivals in love would be at odds with each other?

Life went on and on, and Yan Qing made two more boyfriends later, but they broke up not long after.

Ji Ran has been silently by Yan Qing's side all the time, neither far away nor close.

Until the day of high school graduation, everyone drank a lot of alcohol, and Ji Ran was no exception.

Ji Ran, who was flushed from drinking, pulled Yan Qing, who was a little unsteady, to a corner where there was no one else, and summoned up the courage to embrace her in his arms. His pink lips slowly approached her ears, and said softly: "Qingqing, I have been waiting for you for four years in college. If you are willing to come back for me, I will treat it as if you also want to be with me. At that time, no matter what kind of wind and rain is ahead, I will hold your hand and walk together. go down."

Yan Qing didn't speak, but raised his arms around her waist, and put all his weight on Ji Ran's body. The soft body mixed with the smell of cold and wine made Ji Ran's eyes more blurred.

Later, Ji Ran really waited for Yan Qing for four years, and no matter how many outstanding men and women she met during the period, they never moved her heart.

And she really waited for Yan Qing, but it's a pity that Yan Qing didn't come back alone.

Even now, Ji Ran can still clearly recall the scene at that time.

That day Yan Qing was wearing a white dress, her long hair was swaying in the wind, her face was as pure and graceful as before.

In Ji Ran's memory, Yan Qing didn't seem to wear clothes of other colors. She liked white so much, just like her whole body, clean and clear.

Ji Ran looked at the familiar face in his memory, and walked towards him quickly, suppressing the turmoil in his heart.

From the moment he received Yan Qing's call, Ji Ran said to himself, this time, he will never be separated from her again, and she will always be with her.

"Qingqing." Staring at Yan Qing who was close at hand, Ji Ran's heart was full of thousands of words, all condensed into this low and shallow call.

"Of course, I'm back." Yan Qing smiled softly, with a gleam of joy in his eyes.

It's been four years, and they haven't seen each other for four years.I don't know whether it is intentional or unintentional, they rarely contact each other, and even if they do, they just talk about irrelevant topics and never involve their lives.

"Of course, I brought someone to see you." Yan Qing looked at Ji Ran with a daze in his eyes, as if he had never left in the past four years, but he did leave after all.I still remember that in the year of graduation, Ji Ran's hair had just shawled his shoulders, but now it was waist-length.

Hearing Yan Qing's words, Ji Ran's smile gradually disappeared, and his beating heart instantly calmed down.

Yan Qing, who do you want me to meet this time? Don't you really understand my intentions?

When the atmosphere between the two of them was a little condensed, a man ran out of the nearby convenience store and ran straight towards them.

"Hello, you are Ji Ran, right? I'm Lu Jiang, Qingqing's boyfriend. I often hear her talking about you." The man ran to Yan Qing, stretched out his hand to Ji Ran with a smile, and warmly greeted her. Say hello.

Looking at the man in front of him, staring at the man's outstretched white and slender hands with well-defined joints, Ji Ran was in a daze, as if he had returned to his 17-year-old self.

That year, there was also a boy with a bright smile who extended his hand to him, but at that time, he ignored him and walked away.

Ji Ran chuckled out loud, and for a moment people couldn't hear the emotion in it.She stretched out her hand to hold the slender hand in the air, "Hello, I'm Ji Ran, nice to meet you." The attitude was polite and distant, which made people feel an unspeakable sense of distance.

When Lu Jiang was about to say something, Ji Ran's cell phone rang. Ji Ran looked down and saw that it was Cheng Cheng.

Although Ji Ran put all his heart into Yan Qing after meeting her, but before that, Ji Ran had many good friends.Some friends alienated her because of Ji Ran's subsequent behavior, while some friends still had deep feelings for her. Cheng Cheng was one of them, and he never broke contact with Ji Ran.

"Hey, Chengcheng...well...yes, things are at my house...since you are in such a hurry to use them, I'll get them home and deliver them to you. Don't worry, I won't delay your work." No matter where Cheng Cheng is What was said on the phone, Ji Ran just wanted to get out of here quickly, after saying these words on his own, Ji Ran hung up the phone directly.

"I'm sorry, I forgot about Chengcheng's stuff, I have to send it to her right away, I'm really sorry, let's get together again when we have time." Ji Ran apologized to Yan Qing and the others.

Lu Jiang waved his hand heartily, "It's okay, go get busy if you have something to do, don't worry about us, just say yes."

Yan Qing looked a little displeased, as if complaining that Lu Jiang had robbed her of her words, but finally nodded reluctantly.

"Then I'll go first, bye." Ji Ran said goodbye to the two with a smile, turned around and hailed a taxi to leave here.

Yan Qing looked at the taxi going away, feeling a little uncomfortable.But Lu Jiang shrugged, stepped forward and put his arms around her shoulders and said with a smile, "Qingqing, wait for the next opportunity to invite her to dinner again."

Yan Qing just forced a smile when he heard this, and couldn't help but stare in the direction where Ji Ran left.But this time, she didn't catch up, and just let her leave alone, disappearing from her sight.

In four years, as expected, everything has changed, everything is no longer what it used to be, and it is no longer up to people's will.

Sitting in the taxi, Ji Ran called Cheng Cheng's phone back, and quietly listened to Cheng Cheng's complaints, but his mind drifted away.

She knew that Yan Qing would eventually become a thing of the past for her.She had never had her, but had lost it twice.From the moment Lu Jiang appeared, all her persistence was destined to be just a self-moving joke.

She didn't blame Yan Qing, she just hated herself very much.Hate myself knowing that I can't do anything but have delusions in my heart, hate that even so, I still can't let go.

But how to let go?For so many years, loving her has become a habit, who can change the habit overnight?

Crouching in the back seat, Ji Ran's eyes were already red, she told herself not to cry, but her voice was already crying, "Chengcheng, don't ask, I'm fine, I'll treat you to dinner another day, okay?" , hang up today."

After finishing speaking, regardless of what Cheng Cheng said over there, Ji Ran hung up the phone again.

The moment he got home and closed the door, Ji Ran slid weakly along the wall and sat on the cold floor.

Ji Ran wanted to cry, but his eyes were so dry that he couldn't shed a single tear; he wanted to shout, but he couldn't make a sound after opening his mouth.She felt as if a huge hole had been torn open in her heart, and the cold wind was blowing straight into it, making her feel cold all over, and she couldn't help but want to hug herself tightly.

Ji Ran bent her legs and buried her head in her knees. At this time, she was like a little animal trapped in a desperate situation. She could only hug herself pitifully, but there was no way out.

Ji Ran sat motionless on the ground for an entire afternoon until Ji's father and mother came home.

I still remember how surprised Mother Ji was when she saw her precious daughter sitting on the ground, but she was as smart as she was, but she didn't ask much.Mother Ji just stepped forward quietly and hugged her daughter into her arms.

At the moment of being embraced by Ji Mu, tears welled up in Ji Ran's dry eyes, which wet Ji Mu's skirt in a short while.

Ji Ran clenched the corner of Mother Ji's clothes, and sobbed softly. The suppressed crying was the grievance she had endured for many years, the anguish she couldn't tell others, and the helplessness she had intertwined in many days and nights. with despair.

Father Ji stood aside, seeing his daughter weeping so sadly and uncontrollably, he couldn't help frowning, he leaned over and put his hands on her shoulders, silently giving her strength.

Feeling the silent care of his parents, Ji Ran gradually calmed down.She rubbed her cheek against Ji's mother's arms, "Mom, I want to eat braised pork."

"Okay, go watch TV, Mom will make it for you now." Mother Ji smiled and rubbed Ji Ran's head, and said softly.

"Well, I'm going to wash my face first." Ji Ran wiped his face, lowered his eyes slightly, not daring to meet his parents' eyes, and walked to the bathroom with his head down.

"Old Ji, come to the kitchen and help me." Ji's mother looked at the background of Ji Ran's departure thoughtfully, and walked towards the kitchen.

Father Ji shook his head and sighed softly, turned around and followed Mother Ji.

Looking at himself in a mess in the bathroom mirror, Ji Ran couldn't help but thank his parents in his heart.It's a good thing they didn't ask questions at this time, didn't uncover her hideous scars again, and didn't expose her fragility to the sun, it's a good thing they didn't.

in the kitchen.

"Old Ji, what's the matter with you, I've never seen her cry so sadly before." Ji's mother, who was still gentle and elegant just now, is now chopping green onions, as if she wants to make her daughter so sad The guy disassembled.

"Hey, I don't know either. It's not like you don't know that the child has a lot of thoughts and hides deeply. He can't ask anything since he was a child. He doesn't even want to take it home with his friends. I'm afraid we will ask him for something." Ji Father sighed and looked at Mother Ji helplessly.

Ji's mother also sighed deeply, she understood Ji's father's sense of powerlessness.My daughter knows that since she was a child, she has a temperament of not fighting or grabbing, and has never shown much interest in anything. To put it mildly, she is living in her own world, but to put it bluntly, she is living in an impersonal way.Don't look at how she always puts a smile on her face, and always calls her uncle, aunt, aunt, and lady affectionately. She always looks kind and gentle when she sees everyone. In fact, she never puts anyone in her eyes, let alone anyone. Take it to heart.

Mother Ji also wondered if there was anyone in this world who could please her.It seems that this person may have appeared.It's just to make her daughter sad like this, and I'm afraid it will be impossible in the future.

Ji's mother sighed again, "Old Ji, if she doesn't want to talk about it during dinner later, then don't ask any more questions."

"Don't worry, children and grandchildren have their own blessings, and I won't take care of them. She will take care of her own affairs when she grows up." Although Ji's father loves his daughter, he will not interfere with her life too much. If she wants to He said that he was willing to listen, but she didn't want to talk, and he would never ask more.

The dinner table.

"Mom, the braised pork you made today is delicious." Ji Ran didn't look sad at all except that the tip of his nose was slightly red.

"Eat more if you like it." Mother Ji smiled and picked up a piece of braised pork for Ji Ran with her chopsticks and put it in her bowl, "You don't need to keep it for your dad."

"Mrs. Ji, don't be so partial. Once you have a daughter, you will forget about your husband." Ji's father hurriedly put a few pieces of braised pork into the bowl, and put the bowl on his chest, looking like a food protector. appearance.

Ji Ran couldn't help being amused by Father Ji's actions, and chuckled lightly.

After seeing his daughter's smile, Ji's father and Ji's mother looked at each other, and the corners of their mouths also raised a faint smile.

The days slipped away from the fingertips like water, and another four years have passed in a blink of an eye.

During the four years, Yan Qing and Ji Ran often had some contact, but Ji Ran intentionally kept them apart.Since you don't love, why bother to entangle.

Even so, whenever Ji Ran thinks about Yan Qing, his eyes will turn red.It's just enough to cry for her once in this life, and she will live for herself in the years to come, whether crying or laughing, it's only for herself.

--------------------

The author has something to say:

This is the first time I write an article, if there is something that is not realistic, please bear with me.

Every character in the author's pen is a child, if there is something you don't like, please lightly spray, thank you very much.