Danqing

138

Chen Kezhi didn't know why, but after returning home, he felt an extremely uneasy premonition in his heart, his heart was pounding, and he was restless.

At eight o'clock, I couldn't hold back anymore and called Tan Songxue, but no one answered.Dial again with the same result, Chen Kezhi pressed Father Tan's number in surprise.

Chen Kezhi: "Hello, Master?"

Father Qin: "What's wrong?"

Chen Kezhi: "Is Qiuqiu at home?"

Father Tan: "I'm writing in the room, are you looking for him?"

Writing at this time?

Father Qin went on to explain: "He came back this afternoon and told me that he knew what works were written in the National Exhibition, and he is probably still busy now. Shall I ask him to answer the phone?"

Chen Kezhi: "Forget it, forget it, no need, I have nothing important to do."

After a few random words and hung up, Chen Kezhi's uneasiness did not disappear, so he sent a WeChat message to Tan Songxue.

[The head of Song Bug: Are you coming over tomorrow? 】

There was no reply to the message. Chen Kezhi took a can of beer from the refrigerator, walked around the room, pulled his hair irritably, drank the beer in one gulp, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Qin Songxue fell to the ground. The place where he was hit didn't hurt much, but his lungs felt uncomfortable, his throat hurt, his nasal cavity was full of blood, and his consciousness was very vague. The cry he thought he was loud was actually like a gnat.

When he was in the most pain, Chen Kezhi was not by his side, who else could he go to?

The movement of Tan Songxue falling was not small. Father Tan had hung up on Chen Kezhi for less than an hour, and felt something was wrong. When he walked to the door of the study, he found that the door was locked, so he knocked.

"Qiaoqiu, open the door, I'll come in and get something."

When Qin Songxue heard the knock on the door, she couldn't lift her hand. Half of her face was covered with blood, and the corners of her mouth were still dripping with blood, and her eyes were blurred everywhere.

"Dad..." Qin Songxue managed to make a sound, but the air flow seemed to be blown out from a bellows, as if it had drained all the oxygen in his body.

"Qiaoqiu, open the door." Father Tan knocked continuously for half a minute and there was no sound. He became a little anxious, and knocked more hurriedly for a while, but there was still no answer.

Something must have happened to Qin Songxue.

Father Tan took two steps back and kicked the door lock a few times. The lock gradually deformed and sawdust splashed, and the door was kicked open after a while.

As soon as Father Tan entered the door, he saw Tan Songxue falling down.

"Son!" The smell of blood was very pungent. Father Tan quickly rushed over to help Qin Songxue up, and at the same time dialed 120 with his mobile phone, "Son, can you hear me?"

Tan Songxue's eyes were wide open, but she couldn't see Father Tan clearly. She took a few deep breaths, and said in a breathless voice, "Dad...don't tell Mom...I...I'm fine...and... ...Don't tell Uncle Yi..."

Father Tan was very anxious, and the first thing he thought of was to call 120, but the call hadn't been connected yet. Hearing Qin Songxue still talking about this, he yelled at him: "It's already this time, what are you still thinking about!"

Tan Songxue reached out to grab Father Tan's hand: "Dad, don't tell them...or... take me to the hospital..."

After all, Father Tan compromised with Tan Songxue, and then sent him to the hospital. He didn't understand why his son had become like this, and what happened to Chen Kezhi's phone call?

What unbelievable thing happened when he didn't know?

The results of the examination showed that Qin Songxue was fine. The blood vessels in the respiratory tract ruptured and he needed to rest. In the final analysis, it was caused by depression.

Tan Songxue was not unconscious, but it was difficult to speak. In the middle of the night, Tan's father stayed by his bedside, waiting for him to explain the reason.

No matter how gorgeous the hospital was decorated, it still couldn't get rid of that dead feeling, and Tan Songxue suddenly felt that he was dying of illness.

"Dad..." Tan Songxue didn't feel sleepy, and so did Father Tan, his eyes were bloodshot, just waiting for him to speak.

Father Qin asked, "Do you feel uncomfortable?"

Tan Songxue shook her head slowly, her head was a little dizzy when she moved quickly: "Dad, don't worry too much, I'm fine. Didn't everyone say on TV that it's fine to spit out the blood, so it's okay."

Father Tan: "Are you still joking at this hour?"

Tan Songxue fell silent, and smiled bitterly: "Dad, you should have guessed everything, right?"

Father Tan paused for a few seconds and said, "Luo Shen Fu. I saw it."

Qin Songxue did not deny it: "Yes, so you guessed it, right?"

Father Qin fell silent.

That work was so conspicuous that Father Tan couldn't ignore it even though he was burning with anxiety.The content is Cao Zhi's "Luo Shen Fu", but the writing method is completely different from Zhao Mengfu's. It is also a running script, but Tan Songxue writes it in an extremely desolate way, every word weeps blood, and every sentence punishes the heart.

The lofty Luoshen couldn't ask for it.

"Dad, I love him." Tan Songxue didn't dodge or avoid, looked straight into Tan's father's eyes, and stated the facts very calmly, "I love Chen Kezhi."

Father Tan still didn't speak. The impact of this night was too great for him to speak.

His son was forced to vomit blood by another child he watched and grew up with. The relationship between the two has deteriorated in the past 30 years, and this cannot be Tan Songxue's unrequited love. The two are obviously together. For a long time, in junior high school, high school, and even college, he, the father, didn't notice any clues.

He is an incompetent father.

After understanding the meaning of Tan Songxue's works, Father Tan only felt very tired in his heart. At that moment, he seemed to be several years old, and he had to take a breath every time he took a step.

He didn't want to blame Tan Songxue, why did he hang out with a man and embarked on such a path?The two children, no matter which one, just look very good, and he has no intention of favoring either side.

There is no right or wrong in emotional matters, Father Tan respects all his son's decisions.Father Tan doesn't think much about his grandson. A child is a responsibility to a family. Obviously, Qin Songxue is not mature enough to shoulder the burden of a family.

Yi Xiuyun has been out of the closet for many years, and his relationship with Gao Chengxi is no longer a secret, so he gradually began to understand this group, they are no different from ordinary people.Although he doesn't understand, let alone support his son, he will choose to respect.

If he and Chen Kezhi have been together for many years and their relationship seems to be good, why is Tan Songxue forced to be like this?

"When did you start?" Father Tan asked Tan Songxue after a long time.

Qin Songxue thought for a while, and replied: "I forgot... It can be counted from the graduation of the third year of junior high school, 15 years..."

Father Tan didn't speak for a long time. The atmosphere in the ward was very awkward. In order to break the deadlock, Qin Songxue took the initiative to say, "Dad, you should listen to me."

Father Tan nodded and said, "Speak, I'll listen."

Qin Songxue didn't dare to take a deep breath, her chest was hurting all the time, and after a pause for a few seconds, she said, "Dad, I have been with Chen Kezhi for 15 years...you know he is not just a lover to me, he is also a family member. In my heart, Chen Kezhi, you, and mom, the three are the most important part. Dad, I'm sorry, I've been keeping this from you..."

Hearing the name "lover" from Tan Songxue still made Father Tan a little uncomfortable. It took him a long time to accept the relationship between Yi Xiuyun and Gao Chengxi, and the two had never had any intimate behavior in front of outsiders.Hearing Tan Songxue call Chen Kezhi his lover at first, one can imagine the degree of awkwardness in Father Tan's heart.

"Dad, we agreed a long time ago that even if we can't get the certificate, we have to live together all the time, just like before, when he goes to work during the day, I will write, wait for him to come back, and then go to dinner together...with other people It’s no different. I also think this kind of life is very good, occasionally I will go out to find Gao Chengxi, and if I have more time, I can also go out to travel... It’s really good to live like this..."

"But he passed the civil service exam. When he told me about it, I hadn't been to the imperial capital yet, but I had a vague premonition that he might leave me one day." Tan Songxue looked at Father Tan and smiled. Feeling very helpless, "I thought he would not get married because of me."

Father Tan frowned, but Tan Songxue interrupted him when he wanted to speak.

"Dad, I saw him go on a blind date with a woman today. He will be promoted soon, so it is impossible not to get married."

It is one thing for his own son to be gay, but it is another thing to be abandoned by others. Compared with the former, as a father, he is more unacceptable to the latter.

"Dad, I'm just a little sad. It's nothing serious... I have already decided to break up with him. I can't compromise on this kind of thing." Tan Songxue's voice was quiet, but her tone was unquestionable.

"Son, you know, it's impossible for Dad to support your choice." Father Tan glanced at the no-smoking sign on the wall, and suppressed the desire to touch the cigarette case, "But if you really can't change, Dad can't change it." I won't force it."

"Thank you Dad." Tan Songxue said sincerely.

"But no matter what, son, you can't wrong yourself."

Qin Songxue smiled very brightly this time, and said firmly: "Dad, don't worry about this. You and mother raised me not to let me humiliate others, and I can't just swallow my anger like this. How dare he, Chen Kezhi, do that?" Do it, I won't let it go."

Father Qin patted him on the shoulder: "You are so old, you should know what you want to do, Dad can only persuade you like this, you still have the next 30 years, and the road ahead is still very long, your life is not There can only be one person, Chen Ke."

"Dad, I understand...it's just that I couldn't control it today, which made you worry." Tan Songxue sighed, exhaling very slowly, fearing that it would trigger another round of pain. I don't want others to know, it's shameful. Mom is usually so busy at work, don't let her worry about me, Chen Kezhi and I are fine, if Mom finds out, it will be even more troublesome."

Father Tan nodded, willing to keep it a secret for him.

"Dad, I still want to go out with Gao Chengxi this month. Take a casual walk and treat it as a relaxation. It may take several months."

"You can handle it yourself... I'll go out and smoke a cigarette."

139

Father Tan answered Chen Kezhi's second call. He told Chen Kezhi that Tan Songxue was in the hospital and had a fever due to a cold at night. It would be fine to hang a bottle of salt water.

"Dad, give me the phone, and I'll tell him." Tan Songxue held out his hand.

Father Tan asked him if he was okay with his eyes, and Qin Songxue nodded to indicate that he was fine.

"Hello, brother?" Tan Songxue's weak voice sounded normal, "Don't worry, I'll be fine after I hang the water... Ah, you don't need to come and see me, and it's not the first time I have a fever."

After every major event, there will always be rapid growth.After a night of adjustments, Tan Songxue was able to talk to Chen Kezhi calmly without revealing any flaws.

Qin Songxue came out of the hospital at noon and stayed at home for a while in the afternoon.

"Dad, I'll go find Chen Kezhi."

Father Tan nodded. The entanglements between the children had to be resolved by themselves. He believed that his son would handle this matter well.

Sitting on the rental car, Qin Songxue's heart was no longer churning like yesterday, clutching the pair of green Ya'an green stone seals in her hands.

Changle is still young, never forget each other.

Chen Kezhi couldn't do this, the relationship between them was completely over.

At 06:30 in the afternoon, Chen Kezhi was at home without incident.

Tan Songxue opened the door, and Chen Kezhi was still eating. Chen Kezhi was a little surprised to see Qin Songxue coming.

"How's the disease?"

Tan Songxue was expressionless, and sat beside Chen Kezhi indifferently: "The illness is cured, and I will never do it again."

Chen Kezhi: "Why do I still seem to have some problems when I hear you talking? Your voice is not right."

Qin Songxue: "Oh, the doctor said that I have bleeding in the respiratory tract, and I feel uncomfortable when I speak loudly."

Chen Kezhi wiped his mouth with a tissue, threw the unfinished box lunch into the trash can, and went to kiss Tan Songxue's face.

Tan Songxue pushed him away without hesitation: "Don't touch me."

Chen Kezhi couldn't help but ask in a deep voice, "What's wrong?"

Qin Songxue put the two seals in her hand on the coffee table and stood up.

"Chen Kezhi, let's break up."

Chen Kezhi frowned, subconsciously said: "Say it again."

"Chen Kezhi, let me say, let's break up."

This was the first time the two had been together for so many years and said this word. Even when Chen Kezhi raped Tan Songxue because of Liang Yuanzhen, Tan Songxue didn't say this word to him, and only sulked for a few days.

"August 8nd, Renmin Road, Yuexiu Black Tea House. August 2th, Labor Road, Corner Coffee Shop." Qin Songxue smiled at Chen Kezhi, turning a blind eye to the surprise on Chen Kezhi's face, "Isn't this our breakup?" reason?"

Chen Kezhi's panic swept his whole body. He stood up and hugged Tan Songxue, preventing him from breaking free, and explained in a panic: "Baby, listen to me, it's not what you think!"

Tan Songxue became agitated all of a sudden, and there was that bloody smell in his mouth again, and his voice was a little shrill: "Isn't it what I thought?!"

Before Chen Kezhi could answer, Qin Songxue continued, "I've caught you twice! What else do you have to explain, Chen Kezhi, you are 32 this year, and you want to be promoted. With such a high position, you are afraid that others will find out. The relationship between the two of us, so you went to find a woman, right?"

"That's what you fucking planned from the very beginning! You want your career while you want me to be your lover. Chen Kezhi, I like you and I can't do without you, so can you humiliate me like this? I Is the fuck so cheap in your heart?"

"Baby, it's not what you think!"

"Don't fucking call me that, Chen Kezhi, you really make me sick." After all, Tan Songxue is not as strong as Chen Kezhi, so he can only let him hug him, his chest hurts again, and the smell of blood spreads in his mouth, he is steady After calming down, he continued, "Chen Kezhi, I don't care whether you are married for real or fake, you are a scum if you choose this way, and you ruined two families, do you understand? You will still have children when you are married, right? Have you ever thought about it, when your child knows that there is a person named Qin Songxue who is his father's lover, and the two have maintained a stable sexual|relationship for decades, and his superficial father betrayed the wife he was marrying? , what would he think?"

Chen Kezhi said tremblingly: "I won't, I won't have children, I won't..."

Tan Songxue sneered and said, "What will happen to you? Can you not get married, can you not have children, is it possible? I told you a long time ago, don't keep fooling me like a child, I'm almost thirty There are some things I can't see through, but my basic morality and dignity are still there, I will not be a destroyer of other people's families, a mistress who will never see the light, do you think I am so fucking cheap?!"

Chen Kezhi hugged Tan Songxue and said nothing.

"Let go, Chen Kezhi, it's useless for you to hug me, we've already broken up." Tan Songxue's voice returned to its initial calm.

Even though he understood that the hug at this time meant nothing, Chen Kezhi felt that if he let go at this time, Tan Songxue would leave him forever, so he was reluctant to move for a long time.

"Let go." Tan Songxue sighed, "I won't leave now, I still have something to tell you."

The two stalemate for two or three minutes. Chen Kezhi's usual eloquence had completely disappeared at this moment, and he was speechless under Qin Songxue's questioning. For the first time, the roles of the two were reversed.

"Chen Kezhi, let go, my chest hurts..." Tan Songxue had no choice but to use this excuse.

Hearing what Tan Songxue said, Chen Kezhi saw that his face was really ugly, he hesitated and gradually let go of his hands.

Fresh air rushed into his lungs, Qin Songxue frowned, the cold air passing through the trachea made his throat tighten uncontrollably, causing him to cough.Qin Songxue covered her mouth with her hands, and there were blood stains after coughing.

"Ball ball..."

Tan Songxue took a piece of paper and wiped the blood off his palm, and said indifferently, "I basically vomited up the blood last night. It's none of your business. I can't die."

Chen Kezhi's masseter muscles stretched on both sides of his cheeks.

Qin Songxue didn't notice it, and continued: "Chen Kezhi, I don't know why after this night, I want to understand a lot of things. I can't forgive you, you are too selfish, you live only for yourself, how can others You don't care at all."

Chen Kezhi didn't deny that he wasn't at all surprised by Tan Songxue's finding out the old accounts many years ago. What should come will always come, and his retribution has been so many years late.

"I like writing very much. You know very well that there is nothing else in my life, but you didn't let me go to the Academy of Fine Arts. You said that taking calligraphy as a profession would kill my enthusiasm. Yeah, I don't understand, I don't know why you say that, but I trust you, because you won't lie to me, you will always make the best choice for me. In fact, you just want to keep me by your side, right?"

"If I want to enter the Academy of Fine Arts, I don't need to transfer my account to go to province G to take the college entrance examination. After so many detours, the things I learned in the four years of university are useless to me. Lin Xiyao told me many times, she I don’t know about you, just saying that our family is delaying me, I don’t like other people talking about it, I’ve been reluctant to think about it, admit it, the person I love is so selfish. Everyone wants their lover to be perfect, and I’m no exception ..."

"Yeah, you said all the good things. You said that the two of us don't need to care about the world's vision. If we behave properly, you will love me forever. You tell me, don't be afraid, the relationship between the two of us It's no different from ordinary people, except that you can't get the marriage certificate. Including later you said to me, you have to believe in the future of the two of us, we will go all the way, and then? Why do you want to marry someone else now, playing me Is it fun?"

"Chen Kezhi, all your promises are farts, right? Are you enjoying the slap in the face? A man who can choose to forget even the things he promised, what kind of man is he?"

Qin Songxue was a little dizzy, the long period of uninterrupted complaints made his body overwhelmed, and the strong vomiting feeling from last night came again.Tan Songxue stood up straight and collected himself, but still swayed for a while. Chen Kezhi stretched out his hand to support him, but was blocked by Tan Songxue and said in a low voice, don't touch me.

The two became awkward again.

"I love you, Chen Kezhi, I have given you all my trust, but what have you given me? From the beginning to now, I have been making concessions. Whatever you want to do, I will support you, time and time again...you let me Come to n city to study, let me go to n university before going to the imperial capital, including agreeing to your political career... I fucking hate politics the most, don't you know, have you told me the reason why you have to be in politics? I support you so confusedly... ...I slept with you when I was 14 years old, and I never saw anyone else in my eyes. I followed you with all my heart, and what did you give me? Did you play with me? In your eyes, I am a fucking dog!"

"You gave me hope again and again. I thought that what was waiting for me in the future was the ring you gave me. The two of us wrote the invitation together. I didn't expect the invitation to come. I grew up with me My boyfriend is getting married, and the groom is not me! These hopes have turned into lies one after another, Chen Kezhi, I can't stand this..."

"Your kindness to me is all an illusion... You make me unable to leave you little by little, just to prepare for this day, Chen Kezhi, do I owe you?"

"I came here today to tell you that I will not forgive you. I am not a soft bun who is bullied. I am willing to be raped by you. It is because I love you and I don't care about these things. But you dare to do this It's over for the two of us."

"You see, I foresaw today before I went to the imperial capital. I will never forget you forever... I don't know if I will fall in love with other people in the future, maybe I won't in this life, but this does not affect my leaving you. "

Tan Songxue glanced at Chen Kezhi and sneered, "Could it be that you will still tie me up and not let me go? That's enough."

Chen Kezhi's eyes were red, and he stared at Tan Songxue. There was water in it fluctuating, and even the mirror couldn't stop it.

"Tan Songxue, I beg you, don't go, okay?" It was extremely difficult to say this, Chen Kezhi's voice was so hoarse, he bit his lower lip, his jaw trembled slightly, "Give me time, I will solve it of……"

"You don't need to explain anything, let me just ask you a word, okay?" Qin Songxue saw Chen Kezhi like this for the first time, her heart suddenly became sore, her chest hurt, tears came down, and she fell to the ground jaw.Tan Songxue didn't blink, and quietly waited for Chen Kezhi's answer.

Chen Kezhi's eyes were blurred, and he could no longer see Tan Songxue's appearance. He paused for a few seconds before saying two words: "Say it."

"Brother, you just need to tell me, will you get married?"

Chen Kezhi took off his glasses, rubbed his face, wiped off the water stains from the corners of his eyes, and nodded heavily: "Yes."

Tan Songxue let out a breath, tears welled up in her eyes, and said with a smile, "Then there is nothing to say."