Every warm feeling may turn black

For a long time, I knew that I should work hard to practice martial arts, advance and retreat with courtesy, and make friends with many talents, but I don’t know when, in the expectation of me, I began to have a family and a career.

I sensed this change when my father brought the long-lost girl he wanted me to befriend.

Compared with women from traditional families, women in martial arts have always been generally considered to be more cheerful and enthusiastic, and appearance has never meant anything to me, so when I started to pay attention to all these things subconsciously, I realized that there are many women around me, but For all this, I only maintained a superficial gentleness and politeness, and my heart was really lacking in interest.

After having more and more rights in my hands, my chances of seeing my little uncle became less and less.This is of course the reason why I am not often in the villa, and I also found that my little uncle began to avoid me.

I knew long ago that this day would come because I would grow up and the pressure of having a family is on everyone.

With the character and appearance of the little uncle, it is absolutely impossible to find a wife. He has never married a wife because he is not interested in it—for so many years, he has never really opened up about himself In his heart, he is like a god looking down on all living beings for a few days, watching all living beings from the perspective of a bystander, even his own life.

He probably regarded his life as a drama, and when he thought it was time to start a family, he suddenly acquiesced in the approach of another person.

Shen Yueniang——When I said this name silently, I felt my teeth were sore.

Especially when I realized that she was truly special to my little uncle.

I'm like a kid trying to give candy away, I can't even force a smile.

Through other people, I know that little uncle no longer plays the flute to enjoy flowers, reads and writes, and spends most of his time with Shen Yueniang.

I know Shen Yueniang, she is a young lady from an aristocratic family, but since the former emperor suppressed the aristocratic families, most of the aristocratic families have gradually declined, and the same is true for the Shen family. After a few years of hard work, the family that had lasted for hundreds of years disappeared. By the time Shen Yueniang reached Ji, the Shen family had already started to sell their property. Until Saburo Shen died in battle last year, the Shen family finally had only orphans and widows left.

When my father picked up this so-called orphan of an old friend, I also met her once. I knew that she was a very quiet and gentle woman, her breathing was shallow, her steps were orderly, and her every move seemed to belong to her. deep meaning.

——The aristocratic family does have its merits.

I just thought about it for a while.If I knew what happened next, I'm afraid I couldn't help but act first.

But mortals are just mortals after all. I accepted Zhuang Da’s order at that time, and Bat Island was on the right track. Master Kumei was not difficult to win over, but it took some effort. Uncle and Shen Yueniang are already preparing to get engaged.

——Looking back at that time, no matter what, I did lose my cool.

The beloved things that have been cherished for several years, the traces of others, or the ant-like characters that I have never paid attention to, my head is hot, and I only think in my heart: Absolutely not.

I lost my cool.

But I'm not sure if I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't lost my cool.

I can only be sure that when I finally hugged my little uncle as I wished and let him belong to me completely, and it is impossible to escape, I was satisfied and I did not regret it.

If the little uncle is not locked up, one day, he will leave my world. My father will not allow me to be with him, the world will not allow me to be with him, and even he himself will not agree with me and my world. He's together—in order to avoid such an already definite ending, it's up to me to lock him by my side.

I heard him call out my name during the sex/thing, and his hand touched the long-awaited body, and I almost sighed in satisfaction.

——That's all right, the little uncle will never leave again, now, he only belongs to me.

In the summer when my uncle started to sleep for a long time, I suddenly discovered that something was out of my control.Some forces that can never be limited by human beings have finally begun to be out of my control, making everything come to an end that I cannot avoid.

Although I have been trying my best to keep the island dry and warm, and keep the food fine, my little uncle is getting weaker and weaker as if he has been ravaged by countless cold days. My technique of Qihuang has always been called exquisite, so naturally It can also be found that what the doctors said is not an exaggeration.

Depressed mood, emotional instability, physical weakness step by step, prolonged sleepiness for no reason.

I'm starting to get scared.

Panic is like the wind and sand all over the sky, covering my heart.

I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned, and I hugged my little uncle's skinny body, feeling sore and dull in my heart.

——Is this regret?

When my little uncle was brought into my private house, he was in a cheerful mood for many days.

But I don't know why, I feel that this strange clarity makes my heart heavier.

I remember the first day when I woke up on a sunny morning, my little uncle suddenly asked me: "Suiyun, where are we?"

"In Suzhou." I answered him, warming his stiff joints with my internal energy.

"Why don't we go back to Wuzheng Villa?" There was a natural confusion in the little uncle's tone, and I noticed something subtle.

I asked him: "We have been away from Wuzheng Villa for a long time."

After a long silence, the little uncle suddenly asked me: "Why did we leave Wuzheng Villa?"

My heart sank.

I told my little uncle, I am Yuan Suiyun and you are Yuan Qiyue. We have been together since we left the villa for more than two years.

"Nothing can separate us."

I took the trouble to say things that would seem stupid to anyone, several times a day, but when I came to my senses, my little uncle asked me again: "Why did we leave Wuzheng Villa?"

I compromised: "We'll go back right away."

The little uncle smiled contentedly.

We set off for the journey, and my little uncle finally became normal for a while during the journey. He asked me: "Yuan Suiyun, shall we go back to Wuzheng Villa? How can we go back?"

"If you want to go back, we will go back."

In the dark, I felt the clarity of his long-lost logic and smelled the strong fragrance of medicine on his body.

He kept taking medicine until halfway through the journey, but he still couldn't hold on, his whole body was hot, his thinking was confused, and he babbled nonsense.

"Brother, I want to go home."

"Yuan Suiyun is the bat boy."

"Yuan Suiyun is a pervert."

"Suiyun is really sensible."

His incoherent and jumbled words were held in his throat with weakness, and sometimes burst out in a hoarse cry.

We are no longer able to hurry, we temporarily live in a small village passing by on the way, hoping that time can take away all the pain.

- Time can take away all pain.

I often feel that human beings are really a tough species. No matter what kind of torture they suffer, my test subjects can always hold their breath. Although life is weak, it seems a little difficult to really die.

But it's so strange.The stray dogs who don't care, are still alive and well after being tortured.Why did my little uncle, whom I held dearly in my hand, die like this?

Without warning, unprepared, unstoppable——

death.

The afternoon sun is warm and falls softly on my body. The person I cherish was breathing shallowly in my arms one second, but suddenly disappeared in the next second.

gone.I almost jumped up in panic, but even though there was no soul, the body was once a part of the other party. The only thing I could cherish was lying fragile in my arms at this moment, barren.

This is more suffocating than the darkness I have faced for a long time.

My heart seemed to have stopped beating, but it kept stirring the muscles and nerves in my chest. The pain made my brain roar. I have never felt such a strong feeling since I was a child.

My body was torn apart, my soul was cut apart, and the person in my arms lost most of its weight, and lost all traces of its living existence. When I thought about it, I felt like I was in a furnace. , the skin that was being burned was torn apart, shocking.

The sun is icy, the wind is icy.

I hugged my icy body tightly in my arms, and the wind and sand in my heart calmed down, but it was desolate.

—I regret it, little uncle.

How to do it?Suiyun regrets...

For a long time, I searched everywhere, hoping to find any clues about the Underworld of Souls in this world.But looking for and searching, in the end, it was nothing but a scam, adding more jokes.

But I always feel that the little uncle should be by my side.

I killed him and made his life worse than death. The reason why he hates me is why he didn't turn into a ghost and haunt me every night?

In the dead of night, when I stroke the urn, I often imagine that my little uncle is by my side now, and he looks at me, maybe out of resentment, maybe out of unwillingness, maybe out of fear...

I just stayed in the room where he slept, wrapped in his used quilt, carrying a cold magnetic altar, imagining that he was still by my side, imagining his various thoughts, thinking about facing this same Darkness, what was he thinking.

——And knowing that it is impossible, I still look forward to it, will he also show a little love?

The boat encountered wind and waves and began to heave strongly. I thought I should go out and meet Chu Liuxiang for a while, to give myself a starting point for life like stagnant water.

Then come back again, tell the wonderful things to my little uncle, and tell him like a child: "Look, how well Suiyun has done."

I want to go back to when I was young, my little uncle wiped the sweat off my forehead, he was sitting on a chair, but I was not much taller than him, I could clearly feel his breathing, his heartbeat.

We drank a cup of tea together and played a song together. I combed his long hair, and he hummed a strange song softly in my ear.

I tried my best to do my best, but you only sighed lightly: "Suiyun, don't push yourself so hard."

You don't know, I have always imagined your appearance in the dark, and the only regret in my life that I can't see is that I can't see your appearance.

The Buddha said that there are eight sufferings for human beings: birth, old age, sickness, death, meeting with hatred and hatred, parting from love, blazing five skandhas, and not being able to get what you want.

Birth, old age, sickness and death are inevitable.

Your resentment and hatred are mine, but you can't ask for it after all.

Reminiscing about the past, when you were young, you played the flute until dawn in the sparse shadows of apricot blossoms.