unsaved world
Chapter 22 The Identity of Worry
Actually, it shouldn't be like this.
Emotions, language, expressions, movements, things that should be well controlled, are all chaotic.
In the coffee shop, the warm light fell on the girl's thin and slender figure, and a little light danced on the black and slightly curly hair. .
In an invisible place, the nails were almost sinking into the skin, and the pain was long overdue. Even she herself felt that it was a dream.
wrong.
How can she tell which is a dream and which is reality? How can she, who can't even figure out her own life, tell the difference?
Now her state is undoubtedly extremely failed, because of the outsider's words, there is an uncontrollable feeling of extreme disgust and hatred, and all negative emotions surge up, as if to count all the suppressed things before. .
Now she is uncontrollably resentful, loathing, and even more uncontrollably sad and painful.
However, it shouldn't be like this.
That obviously shouldn't be such an important sentence, it's obviously just a provocative method with obvious meaning, and it shouldn't make an assassin who has been trained in all disguises since childhood so out of control.
Yukikawa Rin is clear about her purpose and knows that she has been hiding her selfishness. She couldn't control her selfish desires and came to see Kudo Shinichi who was similar to that friend. While longing for death, she held that ridiculous expectation, but what did she expect? She didn't know at all.
In other words, she is unwilling to admit that she has expectations, and she feels from the bottom of her heart that she is not worthy of expectations at all.
I don't know since when, she actually started to become more and more confused, even confused. When dealing with everything about Kudo Shinichi who is similar to that friend, she has become more and more unclear whether it is because of the similar appearance It's special to him.
But these things are not enough to touch Xue Chuanlin's emotions. They may make her have some emotions for a short time, but they will not cause her such uncontrollable sadness.
"Rin, if you really like Kudo, then..."
What made her unable to escape from the sadness was the last sentence that Nomura Kanade said at that time, which pulled Xue Chuanlin into the abyss.
"What is your dead friend?"
What she really didn't dare to think about was the death of that friend and why that friend died.
The cause of death, the form of death, witnessing death, executing death, escaping death, sin is the hell that is branded in the heart.
In an office in a high-rise building far away in the city center, the deceased was lying on the table, surrounded by investigating policemen. After receiving the call, Kudo Shinichi was somewhat worried.
In the recording sent by Nomura Kano, although there are many noises, Yukikawa Rin’s voice is also clear. When he started listening to Nomura Kano’s words, he was still slandering Nomura Kano’s words in his heart. Childish and insidious.
Of course, he continued to listen to the content verbatim. After hearing about the death of that friend, his heart suddenly tightened and he felt intense anxiety.
She shouldn't have said this, she would be sad.
That was his first reaction, but in the next second, he felt absurd and hastily denied the idea, it had nothing to do with him, it had nothing to do with it at all, why did he think so much.
"To shut up!"
In the brief silence, what Yukikawa Rin said came out, it was obviously very short and even with a little obvious hostility, and Kudo Shinichi could only hear the trembling sadness inside.
She wouldn't show sadness like this, even in her voice, but at this moment, she couldn't control the sadness disguised as sinister.
Nomura Kanade's words continued, and those sentences were all trying to get a negative answer from Yukikawa Rin's mouth. As he wished, Yukikawa Rin said that sentence.
"I won't like Kudo Shinichi."
This cold sentence, which didn't fit Yukikawa Rin's usual tone at all, came out of her mouth. Kudo Shin was taken aback for a moment, his heart seemed to be tightly entwined by unknown emotions, and he was a little breathless. He didn't have time to study it carefully. There was a moment of strangeness, but he felt that Yukikawa Rin's state was too wrong, so he called Nomura Kanade to inquire.
After the phone call, it was confirmed that Yukikawa Rin was still working in the coffee shop, and he didn't show any abnormalities, but Kudo Shinichi who hung up the phone still felt that Nomura Kanade hadn't seen the real Yukikawa Rin at all.
But what about him?
Has he ever seen the real Yukikawa Rin?
That Yukikawa Rin who he has always considered to be a liar wrapped in countless layers of disguise, what does she really look like?
Suddenly, he thought of the face of a certain girl in the twilight, the eyes and smile when he was talking about that person, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and his emotions were darkened and faded into invisible colors.
In those memories, there is only a short, momentary one, the real Yukikawa Rin that only belongs to that friend.
Thinking about it, he sighed helplessly. Sure enough, being used as a stand-in was really depressing.
"What's the matter, Kudo-kun." The police officer Takagi next to him heard Kudo Shinichi's sigh, thinking that he was troubled by the stalemate in the case, so he comforted him with the appearance of someone who had experienced it, "Don't worry, solve the case slowly, and it will eventually be solved."
"Ah, I know." Kudo Shinichi, who came back to his senses, rubbed his hair, turned his head to the corpse, and said, "I've almost solved this case."
Police officer Takagi was taken aback. He saw that the high school student in front of him had just arrived at the scene not long ago. He didn't expect that most of it had been unraveled after several investigations at the scene. Now seeing him explaining the details of the case with ease and confidence, one can't help admiring him.
However, Officer Takagi thought about it again, thinking of Kudo Shinichi's expression just now, it was indeed worried and bored, if it wasn't because of the case, could it be because of his relationship?
"Then why did Kudo-kun look so worried just now? What happened to make you worry?" So Officer Takagi asked directly.
That should have been just a question out of curiosity, but Kudo Shinichi was dumbfounded for a while, with a slightly perplexed expression.
worried?
How could he be worried? What did he have to worry about?
Even if there is any bad mood, it should be depressed. He should be depressed that he was used as a double and denied the relationship between the two of them.
Obviously thinking this way in his heart, the boy's frown did not relax, and even the line of his lips was tensed into a single word.
Later, he let out a helpless breath in his heart, and rubbed his already messy hair with his hands a little at a loss. When his palms blocked his eyes, his azure blue pupils sank, hiding strong emotions.
"If Kudo-kun has anything to worry about, go back after solving the case." Officer Takagi said kindly.
The current case can be solved only with the evidence from the forensics department. Kudo Shinichi just waited for the evidence to come and testify against the suspect, explaining the method of committing the crime.
"There's nothing to worry about." He absently responded to Officer Takagi.
Police officer Takagi always felt strange, but he couldn't explain why, so he turned around and planned to leave after a few oohs.
"Officer Takagi."
After Officer Takagi walked a few steps, Shinichi Kudo suddenly called out to him again, and spoke with some hesitation.
"If, I mean if."
The young man standing upright in front of him was standing against the twilight evening light, his face was soft, hesitating, and thinking, his brows and eyes were covered by the wind-blown black hair, and Police Officer Takagi tried hard to see the boy's expression clearly At that time, I heard the boy ask again in a low voice.
"What if you really worry about someone, but you don't have the identity to worry about at all?"
Depression, irritability, or unwillingness, among all the emotions that immediately appeared, what really troubled the young man was that he could no longer find an identity that could worry about her except that he was under the shell of a substitute.
Classmates, she has so many classmates, anyone can have the qualifications to have a pleasant conversation, and no one has the possibility to approach her, so why should he be the one who rejects her?
As a detective, he failed to protect her well when she was being threatened, panicked and distanced herself, and even suspected and interrogated her later. Can he be worried like this?
Except for the special enjoyment of being used as a stand-in, where can he worry about her, nowhere.
"Even so, let's go and see."
Officer Takagi spoke, with a somewhat relieved smile on his face, looked up at the front and thought, then turned his head and nodded to the dazed Kudo Shin for confirmation.
"If you're worried, it's hard to feel at ease if you don't see it with your own eyes."
Do you want to see it with your own eyes?
After hearing what Police Officer Takagi said, his heart moved slightly, and he thought of something for a moment, and quickly suppressed it. He clenched his mouth awkwardly, frowned, and murmured something stubbornly.
"It's not necessary at all, she will definitely..."
I will definitely pretend to be okay, I will laugh so hypocritically, I will definitely not say anything.
Thinking of this, he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.
It's... so annoying.
Time passed quickly.
At this time, the sky was gradually darkening, the lights in the corners and alleys were flickering, the wind was blowing gently, and it was completely cold.
Yukikawa Rin had already sorted out his emotions quickly. He worked until the coffee shop closed, and finally said goodbye to his colleagues in the coffee shop, and then walked home alone.
On the originally empty road, she answered the sudden phone call, and when she stopped at the green light at the intersection, she raised her eyes and looked straight at the opposite side of the intersection.
There stood a tall and straight young man, wearing a fur-collared leather jacket, with one hand in his coat pocket, and the other hand holding a mobile phone, bending his eyes and smiling at her, his eyes were always very gentle.
That is the tenderness that embraces all the coldness and rejection.
"Ah Lin, good evening."
It's Mr. Nakura.
Mr. Naakura's cordial greetings came from her ears. She didn't respond immediately to Mr. Naakura's eyes. A horrifying red flashed in her tea-brown pupils, and she quickly restrained herself and hid her coldness under her calm .
The handsome Mr. Nakura put his index finger to his lips and said with a smile.
"Just now, I got information about Ah Lin. I was so excited, I wanted to come and see Ah Lin's reaction."
He is always mysterious and vicious, Xue Chuanlin who had a premonition frowned, unknown things tightly strangled her neck like vines, she instinctively wanted to escape, but her overly sensitive senses still let her hear clearly Next words.
"It turns out that Ah Lin killed her."
The young man standing on the other side of the street smiled, his red-brown pupils were full of excitement, and he smiled with enjoyment.
"The friend Ah Lin can't forget, it turned out that Ah Lin killed it with her own hands."
The abyss of sin dragged the girl back to hell.
Emotions, language, expressions, movements, things that should be well controlled, are all chaotic.
In the coffee shop, the warm light fell on the girl's thin and slender figure, and a little light danced on the black and slightly curly hair. .
In an invisible place, the nails were almost sinking into the skin, and the pain was long overdue. Even she herself felt that it was a dream.
wrong.
How can she tell which is a dream and which is reality? How can she, who can't even figure out her own life, tell the difference?
Now her state is undoubtedly extremely failed, because of the outsider's words, there is an uncontrollable feeling of extreme disgust and hatred, and all negative emotions surge up, as if to count all the suppressed things before. .
Now she is uncontrollably resentful, loathing, and even more uncontrollably sad and painful.
However, it shouldn't be like this.
That obviously shouldn't be such an important sentence, it's obviously just a provocative method with obvious meaning, and it shouldn't make an assassin who has been trained in all disguises since childhood so out of control.
Yukikawa Rin is clear about her purpose and knows that she has been hiding her selfishness. She couldn't control her selfish desires and came to see Kudo Shinichi who was similar to that friend. While longing for death, she held that ridiculous expectation, but what did she expect? She didn't know at all.
In other words, she is unwilling to admit that she has expectations, and she feels from the bottom of her heart that she is not worthy of expectations at all.
I don't know since when, she actually started to become more and more confused, even confused. When dealing with everything about Kudo Shinichi who is similar to that friend, she has become more and more unclear whether it is because of the similar appearance It's special to him.
But these things are not enough to touch Xue Chuanlin's emotions. They may make her have some emotions for a short time, but they will not cause her such uncontrollable sadness.
"Rin, if you really like Kudo, then..."
What made her unable to escape from the sadness was the last sentence that Nomura Kanade said at that time, which pulled Xue Chuanlin into the abyss.
"What is your dead friend?"
What she really didn't dare to think about was the death of that friend and why that friend died.
The cause of death, the form of death, witnessing death, executing death, escaping death, sin is the hell that is branded in the heart.
In an office in a high-rise building far away in the city center, the deceased was lying on the table, surrounded by investigating policemen. After receiving the call, Kudo Shinichi was somewhat worried.
In the recording sent by Nomura Kano, although there are many noises, Yukikawa Rin’s voice is also clear. When he started listening to Nomura Kano’s words, he was still slandering Nomura Kano’s words in his heart. Childish and insidious.
Of course, he continued to listen to the content verbatim. After hearing about the death of that friend, his heart suddenly tightened and he felt intense anxiety.
She shouldn't have said this, she would be sad.
That was his first reaction, but in the next second, he felt absurd and hastily denied the idea, it had nothing to do with him, it had nothing to do with it at all, why did he think so much.
"To shut up!"
In the brief silence, what Yukikawa Rin said came out, it was obviously very short and even with a little obvious hostility, and Kudo Shinichi could only hear the trembling sadness inside.
She wouldn't show sadness like this, even in her voice, but at this moment, she couldn't control the sadness disguised as sinister.
Nomura Kanade's words continued, and those sentences were all trying to get a negative answer from Yukikawa Rin's mouth. As he wished, Yukikawa Rin said that sentence.
"I won't like Kudo Shinichi."
This cold sentence, which didn't fit Yukikawa Rin's usual tone at all, came out of her mouth. Kudo Shin was taken aback for a moment, his heart seemed to be tightly entwined by unknown emotions, and he was a little breathless. He didn't have time to study it carefully. There was a moment of strangeness, but he felt that Yukikawa Rin's state was too wrong, so he called Nomura Kanade to inquire.
After the phone call, it was confirmed that Yukikawa Rin was still working in the coffee shop, and he didn't show any abnormalities, but Kudo Shinichi who hung up the phone still felt that Nomura Kanade hadn't seen the real Yukikawa Rin at all.
But what about him?
Has he ever seen the real Yukikawa Rin?
That Yukikawa Rin who he has always considered to be a liar wrapped in countless layers of disguise, what does she really look like?
Suddenly, he thought of the face of a certain girl in the twilight, the eyes and smile when he was talking about that person, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and his emotions were darkened and faded into invisible colors.
In those memories, there is only a short, momentary one, the real Yukikawa Rin that only belongs to that friend.
Thinking about it, he sighed helplessly. Sure enough, being used as a stand-in was really depressing.
"What's the matter, Kudo-kun." The police officer Takagi next to him heard Kudo Shinichi's sigh, thinking that he was troubled by the stalemate in the case, so he comforted him with the appearance of someone who had experienced it, "Don't worry, solve the case slowly, and it will eventually be solved."
"Ah, I know." Kudo Shinichi, who came back to his senses, rubbed his hair, turned his head to the corpse, and said, "I've almost solved this case."
Police officer Takagi was taken aback. He saw that the high school student in front of him had just arrived at the scene not long ago. He didn't expect that most of it had been unraveled after several investigations at the scene. Now seeing him explaining the details of the case with ease and confidence, one can't help admiring him.
However, Officer Takagi thought about it again, thinking of Kudo Shinichi's expression just now, it was indeed worried and bored, if it wasn't because of the case, could it be because of his relationship?
"Then why did Kudo-kun look so worried just now? What happened to make you worry?" So Officer Takagi asked directly.
That should have been just a question out of curiosity, but Kudo Shinichi was dumbfounded for a while, with a slightly perplexed expression.
worried?
How could he be worried? What did he have to worry about?
Even if there is any bad mood, it should be depressed. He should be depressed that he was used as a double and denied the relationship between the two of them.
Obviously thinking this way in his heart, the boy's frown did not relax, and even the line of his lips was tensed into a single word.
Later, he let out a helpless breath in his heart, and rubbed his already messy hair with his hands a little at a loss. When his palms blocked his eyes, his azure blue pupils sank, hiding strong emotions.
"If Kudo-kun has anything to worry about, go back after solving the case." Officer Takagi said kindly.
The current case can be solved only with the evidence from the forensics department. Kudo Shinichi just waited for the evidence to come and testify against the suspect, explaining the method of committing the crime.
"There's nothing to worry about." He absently responded to Officer Takagi.
Police officer Takagi always felt strange, but he couldn't explain why, so he turned around and planned to leave after a few oohs.
"Officer Takagi."
After Officer Takagi walked a few steps, Shinichi Kudo suddenly called out to him again, and spoke with some hesitation.
"If, I mean if."
The young man standing upright in front of him was standing against the twilight evening light, his face was soft, hesitating, and thinking, his brows and eyes were covered by the wind-blown black hair, and Police Officer Takagi tried hard to see the boy's expression clearly At that time, I heard the boy ask again in a low voice.
"What if you really worry about someone, but you don't have the identity to worry about at all?"
Depression, irritability, or unwillingness, among all the emotions that immediately appeared, what really troubled the young man was that he could no longer find an identity that could worry about her except that he was under the shell of a substitute.
Classmates, she has so many classmates, anyone can have the qualifications to have a pleasant conversation, and no one has the possibility to approach her, so why should he be the one who rejects her?
As a detective, he failed to protect her well when she was being threatened, panicked and distanced herself, and even suspected and interrogated her later. Can he be worried like this?
Except for the special enjoyment of being used as a stand-in, where can he worry about her, nowhere.
"Even so, let's go and see."
Officer Takagi spoke, with a somewhat relieved smile on his face, looked up at the front and thought, then turned his head and nodded to the dazed Kudo Shin for confirmation.
"If you're worried, it's hard to feel at ease if you don't see it with your own eyes."
Do you want to see it with your own eyes?
After hearing what Police Officer Takagi said, his heart moved slightly, and he thought of something for a moment, and quickly suppressed it. He clenched his mouth awkwardly, frowned, and murmured something stubbornly.
"It's not necessary at all, she will definitely..."
I will definitely pretend to be okay, I will laugh so hypocritically, I will definitely not say anything.
Thinking of this, he closed his eyes and clenched his teeth.
It's... so annoying.
Time passed quickly.
At this time, the sky was gradually darkening, the lights in the corners and alleys were flickering, the wind was blowing gently, and it was completely cold.
Yukikawa Rin had already sorted out his emotions quickly. He worked until the coffee shop closed, and finally said goodbye to his colleagues in the coffee shop, and then walked home alone.
On the originally empty road, she answered the sudden phone call, and when she stopped at the green light at the intersection, she raised her eyes and looked straight at the opposite side of the intersection.
There stood a tall and straight young man, wearing a fur-collared leather jacket, with one hand in his coat pocket, and the other hand holding a mobile phone, bending his eyes and smiling at her, his eyes were always very gentle.
That is the tenderness that embraces all the coldness and rejection.
"Ah Lin, good evening."
It's Mr. Nakura.
Mr. Naakura's cordial greetings came from her ears. She didn't respond immediately to Mr. Naakura's eyes. A horrifying red flashed in her tea-brown pupils, and she quickly restrained herself and hid her coldness under her calm .
The handsome Mr. Nakura put his index finger to his lips and said with a smile.
"Just now, I got information about Ah Lin. I was so excited, I wanted to come and see Ah Lin's reaction."
He is always mysterious and vicious, Xue Chuanlin who had a premonition frowned, unknown things tightly strangled her neck like vines, she instinctively wanted to escape, but her overly sensitive senses still let her hear clearly Next words.
"It turns out that Ah Lin killed her."
The young man standing on the other side of the street smiled, his red-brown pupils were full of excitement, and he smiled with enjoyment.
"The friend Ah Lin can't forget, it turned out that Ah Lin killed it with her own hands."
The abyss of sin dragged the girl back to hell.
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