such as Yue Linyuan

When Si Yuanting and Chu Yuezhi came out of the study, Huanyan was kneeling at the door. Although she had been out of the palace for many years, she still remembered the rules when she was in the palace.

On the other side of the door, Wei Yunxiao and Fu Xingyun stood side by side in the shadows. The wound on Fu Xingyun's arm was temporarily tied to stop the bleeding. He looked as calm as usual, but Wei Yunxiao's face looked worse than not long ago. Moreover, the lips of both of them were broken, obviously there was a dispute.

Chu Yuezhi glanced at them, but he was not in the mood to meddle in their affairs at all.

Holding Chu Yuezhi's hand in his palm, Si Yuanting simply told Fu Xingyun to make himself happy, and then went back to the dormitory with Chu Yuezhi.

Wei Yunxiao naturally left behind them, and didn't say a word to Fu Xingyun, and didn't even bother to look at him.

On the way back to the dormitory, Chu Yuezhi remained silent. When he returned to the dormitory, Chu Yuezhi silently went to hang up the painting from many years ago.He had just hung up the painting when Si Yuanting grabbed his waist from behind and hugged him into his arms.

Si Yuanting's embrace has always made him feel at ease. It is difficult for Chu Yuezhi to fade the complex emotions in his heart for a moment, and there is still anger burning in his heart. Yuan Ting came to coax him, but in the end he could only lean into Si Yuanting's arms and whisper: "You tonight, hug me, I mean, like you did to me before, I prepared all the utensils before. gone."

These days he has been recuperating, the tattoo on his body has not recovered, he can only wipe his body with a wet towel every day, and it is inconvenient for him to carry it on his back, so Si Yuanting will do it for him.

Si Yuanting was very careful when wiping him, but occasionally he couldn't help getting closer. Si Yuanting especially liked his scarred collarbone, and repeatedly left marks on it.But I don't know if it was because he was afraid of hurting his body or something else, Si Yuanting never touched him again, except for brushing each other, the closest relationship between the two of them was the entanglement of lips and tongues when they slept together on the same couch.

"Or, can I pamper you?" The finger fell on Si Yuanting's arm across his waist, Chu Yuezhi didn't deliberately hide his emotions, he really wanted to get close to Si Yuanting now , he grasped Si Yuanting slightly with his hand, and said: "Let me see you, you don't want me to see Lin Yi when he gives you acupuncture. Si Jiu, I don't know what to do to make you feel better." You believe my sincerity, but I really don't want to be separated from you anymore."

"I believe you, I just don't want you to see...I've been thinking these days, with me, you can't get the pleasure that ordinary people can enjoy. What I did to you before is always full of It's humiliating, I know you don't like it, and you also know that I can't return to normal people, why not, why not..." Si Yuanting tightened his arms and hugged Chu Yuezhi even tighter. Buried in Chu Yuezhi's neck, struggled for a long time and finally managed to hold back the words: "If it was you, I can bear it, maybe it won't make you happy the first time, but at least my place is clean and untouched. Whoever has touched it, do it a few times, maybe I can accept it."

Chu Yuezhi didn't understand what Si Yuanting meant at first, he thought about the words several times in his mind, and then he suddenly realized what Si Yuanting was saying.

Strenuously breaking away from Si Yuanting's embrace, Chu Yuezhi turned around, the rising anger almost made him lose his mind, clenched his fists, Chu Yuezhi looked at Si Yuanting furiously, unable to distinguish himself for a moment Is it more anger or more heartache? At the same time, there are two completely different emotions pulling him up, causing him endless pain. For the first time in his life, he felt real anger towards Si Yuanting, and said in a hateful voice: "You What nonsense are you talking about?! How could I be?! Why can’t you cherish yourself more?! Or do you think that if you add new wounds to your wounds, I won’t hurt?! Why do you think that I’m like those people , do to you what they failed to do, I will like it and even enjoy it?! Trample you, humiliate you, how can it be pleasure for me?! You can’t really accept it, if I do that to you What is the difference between things and those people?! Is it because I didn't express clearly enough before, or I am just like them in your heart, and I am just a dirty and shameless person?! I have never underestimated you for a moment, you always talk like this, after all Do you want to insult yourself or me?! I respect your personality, cherish everything about you, and I don’t want or need you to hurt yourself to please me! I love you, no matter the past, present or future, you and I are equal Yes, I don't need you to sacrifice for me endlessly, and I don't need you to despise yourself to satisfy me! Get out, get out of here immediately! Get out!"

The more he spoke, the more excited he became, and in the end he almost yelled out the words.

He has never been so angry at anyone before. When in the palace, the palace people made mistakes, and he probably didn't worry about it. When he was defeated or stalemate in the frontier battle, no matter how anxious and angry he was in his heart, he could control it. He is restrained in his words and deeds, and when he deals with problems, he always treats things wrongly, even if he punishes the soldiers in the army, they are convinced and have no complaints.

This is true for others, let alone Si Yuanting.When he was a child, he would occasionally play petty temper in order not to go to the martial arts field, but he never put on airs like a prince in front of Si Yuanting. Now that he regained his memory, he never called himself "the king" in front of Si Yuanting again. Ting, he didn't want any more concealment and misunderstanding between the two of them, wishing he could cut his heart out for Si Yuanting to see, he didn't even dare to shed tears in front of Si Yuanting, for fear that Si Yuanting would think too much.It's not that he doesn't know how much Si Yuanting cares about his physical disability and eunuch status, and because of this, he doesn't want to let Si Yuanting's inferiority complex and pain continue to grow. For this reason, he always treats Si Yuanting He showed his sincerity and even stabbed ink on his body.

Knowing that he shouldn't be angry with Si Yuanting, but he couldn't bear it, Si Yuanting said such words to him in front of him, even if he knew that if he wanted to say such words, Si Yuanting would only hurt and suffer more than him.

But Si Yuanting shouldn't be like this, and he can't be like this.

This man should be proud, indomitable, loyal and unyielding.

Why, in front of him, she had to compromise so much, even to the point of belittling herself.

Si Yuanting did not expect that Chu Yuezhi's reaction would be like this, a series of fierce questioning made him unable to argue.Even if Chu Yuezhi forgot, he still missed him for so many years. He is a dignified prince, but he doesn't even have a private slave to serve him. He should have given Chu Yuezhi a better experience, but he not only couldn't do it physically, but also hated him. Driven by intention, Chu Yuezhi had an unpleasant first time, which was equivalent to being humiliated, and he always humiliated him several times after that. Even though he made Chu Yuezhi feel comfortable for other reasons in the last two times, did he make Chu Yuezhi feel uncomfortable? Had a bad experience.

For eunuchs and all eunuchs, it is almost everyone’s tacit consent to submit to others. No one will feel that it is wrong. Everyone thinks that their incompleteness is impure. Since they are inhumane, if they confront the maid Food is fine, but if you meet emperors, princes, princes, and other high-ranking officials and wealthy businessmen who are as good as Longyang, it is common to be sent to be ruined, not to mention that there are many of them who want to live a better life. The point is to choose to actively ask the master to favor him.

No one has ever asked if they are willing, and no one will care. Whether they accept it or not, in the eyes of ordinary people, they are not men at all, and there is no possibility of recovery. Even if they are unwilling to accept it, they can only be forced to endure it. After getting used to it for a long time, I convinced myself that I accepted it.

He believed that if it weren't for him, Chu Yuezhi would not have succumbed to others, and because of years of depression, he sometimes lost control in that aspect, he really didn't want to let Chu Yuezhi get hurt and uncomfortable again.

"Chu Qi..." Si Yuanting wanted to explain, but when he looked into Chu Yuezhi's eyes and saw the pain inside, he suddenly realized that even though he couldn't empathize with him, Chu Yuezhi was always hurting him.

So he also knows better than anyone how much he can't accept being subdued, because that means breaking his last pride, admitting that he is neither male nor female, and eventually becoming a plaything possessed by others.

He would vomit even when serving Chu Yuezhi, even if he was willing, even if that person was Chu Yuezhi, he couldn't accept it at all.

Since Chu Yuezhi really loved him, how could he treat him like others because of his own selfish desires.

"My king tells you to go away, you don't understand human words, do you?!" Chu Yuezhi waved his palm to push Si Yuanting away. Tonight, he was already in pain, hatred and hostility, but Si Yuanting returned the favor. Handed him a sharp blade without a handle, and asked him to use it to stab each other in the name of love. He saw that Si Yuanting was completely bruised, and he also saw that Si Yuanting's hand holding the knife was bleeding , he cut his heart like a knife, but he couldn't even stop the bleeding for Si Yuanting.

Si Yuanting caught the palm.

Without taking a step back, without deliberately lowering his slightly shrill voice, he said to Chu Yuezhi calmly: "You can't drive me away, you know I can't sleep well at night, if I don't have you by my side Can't even sleep, I can't live without you."

These days, sleeping in the same bed with Chu Yuezhi every night is the first time he has found peace after a few years. He still has nightmares and hears screams and cries in his ears from time to time, but at least he can Accompanied by Chu Yuezhi, he fell asleep naturally without the help of sedatives. After waking up from the nightmare, he saw Chu Yuezhi when he opened his eyes, so he was able to settle down in the shortest possible time, and he was no longer trapped in the nightmare and couldn't sleep at night.

"I won't pamper you again, and I will do excessive things to you. I will use the utensils I have used for you before, such as jade, whips, ropes, and dripping wax. You should also know that back then In order to save my life, the imperial doctor dealt with both sides of my area. Although I can feel it, I can’t react like ordinary people. The more people can’t do something, the more they want to do it. Similarly, when it comes to possessing you, I will only become more and more paranoid and unscrupulous, even if you ask me to stop, I may not listen." As if to prove what he said, Si Yuanting put his hands around Chu Yue Zhi's neck was stuck under the Adam's apple, and his fingers tightened, as if he was going to strangle Chu Yuezhi to death.

"My desire to possess and control is distorted. I don't allow anyone other than me to touch you, no skin-to-skin contact. I want you to belong to me from soul to body to heart. "

When Si Yuanting spoke, he exuded an unresistable coercion, as well as a gentleness that Chu Yuezhi could not refuse.

Chu Yuezhi didn't want to refuse either, in the near future he would definitely become the monarch of the Daheng Kingdom, and Si Yuanting would be Chu Yuezhi's monarch, and he would never change until death.

Holding Si Yuanting's wrist, Chu Yuezhi raised his head slightly because he was strangled by the neck. When Si Yuanting said that he couldn't leave him, his anger and violence subsided, and he was willing to confess to him that Si Yuanting was fragile. It can make him bow his head and submit in an instant. He looked at Si Yuanting, his brows and eyes were docile and his eyes were shining, and he said in a soft voice of obedience and willingness that he had never had before: "Please, master, please favor me."

The bony and pale fingers withdrew from Chu Yuezhi's neck, Si Yuanting raised his chin towards the bed, and said, "Take off your clothes and go to the bed."

Feminine voice, with irresistible majesty.

Behind him is a painting that records his innocent and lovely appearance when he was eight years old, and in front of him is the person who painted for him back then. Under the gaze of those bottomless eyes, Chu Yuezhi first unfurled his hair in a bun to let his black hair hang loose He got down, and then slowly untied his belt, and the silk clothes fell to the ground one by one. He calmly walked to the side of the bed, and reclined on the bed in a natural and generous posture.

In the first step Si Yuanting walked towards the bed, he untied his girdle. In the second step, he took off his outer robe. When he walked to the side of the bed, he stood naked in front of Chu Yuezhi for the first time. It revealed his body covered with mottled scars. From the chest to the thighs, there were layers of scars of different depths. Some of the scars seemed to fall on new ones before they healed. In the end, the skin was ripped apart and rotted into pieces, and some of them could still be seen. There are whip marks and lacerations from sharp weapons, and the long-lasting scars cover the pale and thin body, showing how much the owner of this body has endured.

Chu Yuezhi knew that there were just as many scars on Si Yuanting's back.

"Apart from my face, there is no other good thing about me. You can only have me like this. Even if I die in the future, you can't let anyone touch you. You are mine." Si Yuanting replied to Chu Yuezhi. On his body, there was no barrier between the two of them, he held Chu Yuezhi's slightly opened lips that wanted to speak, put his tongue into Chu Yuezhi's mouth, provocatively entangled, and then moved forward into the deeper throat.

Chu Yuezhi raised his head to accept the intrusive deep kiss, he grasped Si Yuanting's upper arm helplessly, let out a trembling whimper, let go of all the shame and let Si Yuanting take whatever he wanted.

Si Yuanting sucked Chu Yuezhi's lips until they were as red as a flower. Under Chu Yuezhi's blurred eyes, he kissed down his chin to the smooth neck, and his canine teeth rubbed the thin skin at his Adam's apple. Like some kind of fierce and bloodthirsty beast, he bit down without mercy, holding his prey between his teeth.

The pain of the skin being bitten made Chu Yuezhi awake for a moment. Looking at the dark top of the bed above, he remembered that he was seriously injured and hovered on the verge of death once when he was fighting in the frontier. Dare to set up camp, he was lying on the ground and Lin was treating his wounds, he looked drowsily at the boundless sky, the moon appeared and disappeared, and the stars dotted with darkness were scattered and small, but they were still shining with all their strength.

They try their best to live and burn their own lives. They may not be able to dispel the darkness, but at least they can bring a glimmer of light to those in the dark.

Si Yuanting bit Chu Yuezhi's neck with bloody tooth marks like a collar, and before he could continue down, Chu Yuezhi suddenly pushed him away with force and turned over to ride on him...

Danfeng's eyes, who had always been calm, were completely red, and Si Yuanting's eyes showed the fierce light of a male beast. He pressed Chu Yuezhi's neck with his hands, and when he heard Chu Yuezhi's distressed groan, he should be reluctant to feel heartbroken. However, a great sense of satisfaction seized his mind, he raised his eyes and looked at Chu Yuezhi, and said in a hoarse voice: "Chu Qi, I want to break you."

The fragile place of being strangled by the neck gave Chu Yuezhi the instinct of confrontation and self-defense. However, he felt Si Yuanting's presence, so he raised his arms to accept and embrace Si Yuanting, with his face on his face. Spread a bright smile: "Then break me, Chu Qi belongs to Si Jiu, Si Jiu can do whatever he wants."

This sentence made Si Yuanting completely lose his mind.

……

Chu Yuezhi hugged Si Yuanting, and he endured all the pain and discomfort Si Yuanting gave him, even his cry was suppressed.

It took Si Yuanting a long time to recover.

Chu Yuezhi was lying in his arms exhausted, his brows were furrowed, it was obvious that he was suffering terribly, his body was full of tooth marks, and his lower body was also injured. Seeing his appearance, Si Yuanting seemed to realize it all of a sudden. What did I do.

"Si Jiu..." Chu Yuezhi spoke first. He put his arms around Si Yuanting's neck and said weakly, "It's okay. I'm happy with this. The days will be long and I'll be fine."

This was a scene that Si Yuanting feared would happen. He was afraid that he would hurt Chu Yuezhi, but when this day really came, Chu Yuezhi told him that it was okay and that he was very happy.

His eyes were hot and humid, and Si Yuan Ting shed tears in a daze. He wanted to give Chu Yuezhi the best, but he bit Chu Yuezhi with his fangs first, leaving Chu Yuezhi covered in bruises like him, unable to say sorry , so his guilt at this moment is far less intense than the satisfaction of actually possessing Chu Yuezhi.

Chu Yuezhi hugged him who was wrapped in layers of thorns, and as he expected, he accepted everything about him completely in pain.

In fact, he had always hoped that Chu Yuezhi would be in pain like him.

"Well, it will be fine." Repeating Chu Yuezhi's words in a murmur, Si Yuanting bowed his head and kissed Chu Yuezhi with his tear-stained lips.

He finally truly believed that Chu Yuezhi could cure him and bring him back to the world from purgatory.