such as Yue Linyuan

For a long time, Si Yuanting was always looking for an identity.

He wanted to be recognized, and even more wanted to prove that he was still the same Si Yuanting.

The faint hope in his heart was completely reduced to ashes at the moment when Chu Yuezhi called him father-in-law.

Even though his body is damaged and inhumane, his talents and insights are still there, and he is still capable of realizing the ideals and ambitions in his heart.

It wasn't until Chu Yuezhi called him Mr. Si, and he knelt on the blue bricks and kowtowed to Chu Yuezhi, that he finally woke up and truly understood what the old emperor meant for him to enter the palace as a eunuch.

The old emperor wants to imprint the eunuch status on him so that he will never be able to return to the court as a normal person. As long as he is an eunuch, no one in this world will believe that he is dedicated to the people and willing to sacrifice himself For the country.

At that time, he thought that no one would remember Si Yuanting anymore, because even Chu Qi didn't recognize Si Jiu anymore, the last link between him and the past had been completely broken.

Until this moment 13 years later, Chu Yuezhi hugged him again, stretched out his hand towards this piece of purgatory full of bones, and grabbed his sinking body.

He could still be Si Jiu, Chu Qi never denied him, and Chu Qi came back to look for him.

Si Yuanting carefully hugged Chu Yuezhi, supported Chu Yuezhi to lean against the head of the bed, and then touched the back of his head with his hands.When Chu Yuezhi forced out the golden needle earlier, a lot of blood oozed out, and now the wound was scabbed, but he felt even more frightened when he touched it.

"Chu Qi, don't do such a thing again, I'd rather you forget about me without remembering, than risk your own life." Si Yuanting's voice was very soft, as if he was coaxing Chu patiently when he was young. Like Yue Zhi, the indifferent and mocking eyebrows and eyes towards Chu Yuezhi before have melted like snow, the sharp Danfeng eyes have faded and become soft, and the indelible sadness and grief in the depths of the eyes have emerged, and the perennial chill on his body is overwhelming. All the hostility in his heart has also subsided, and the gentleness that others can't see or feel flows out around him little by little.

Chu Yuezhi held on to his spirit. In the past few hours, his meridians went backwards and he vomited blood continuously. If Lin Yi hadn't rescued him in time, he would have been put to death and then directly injected acupuncture at the big points on his head and body, supplemented by internal force Guided to sort out his chaotic internal breath, and fed him the pill to protect the heart, he might really not be able to wake up.

Just after waking up, he was also groggy. The sealed memory returned to his mind, causing him a brief confusion. His whole body seemed to be floating in the water. The feeling of floating that could not step on the ground made him panic. I need to find Si Yuanting.It seems that in his entire 31 years of life, only Si Yuanting is the only person he can really rely on, and also the only person who can give him a sense of security.

The moment he saw Si Yuanting walk in and hold his hand without any hesitation, he suddenly felt extremely wronged, not for himself but for Si Yuanting.His nose was sore, and his tears fell uncontrollably. In fact, he couldn't pull up any strength at all, and the severe pain caused by the retrograde meridians still remained all over his body. He wanted to snuggle into Si Yuanting's arms and sleep peacefully, but he There are too many important things to say to Si Yuanting, he dare not let himself close his eyes before finishing speaking.

"There is no one else, and I have no one else in my heart." Chu Yuezhi said hastily, his voice was very low, with a little weak panting, but he explained to Si Yuanting persistently, "I always dream of you Holding me, on the way to the study hall, I heard you tell me to walk slowly, that you will accompany me, but I can't see your face clearly... I asked all the palace servants around me , but they all said, there is no such person... I always want to find you, I have been thinking about it for many years, and after thinking about it, it has become an obsession. The person I admire in my heart has always been you and has never changed .”

Clutching Si Yuanting's hand in his palm, as long as Chu Yuezhi thinks of the goodbye at the Si Li Supervisor that year, and the scene where Si Yuanting knelt down and kowtowed to him and called himself a "servant", he will feel convulsions in his chest The tearing pain, even breathing is so difficult.He really wanted to speak out to Si Yuanting in an orderly manner, but he couldn't. As long as he thought of the pain Si Yuanting had suffered these years, he hated himself for not being able to replace it with his own body, and was still in Si Yuanting's place. More new wounds fell on my heart.

"I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose, I don't know when... I, I was terrified at that time, you bled a lot, the imperial doctor said that you must clean the wound to save your life, then, they didn't let me, no Let me stay by your side...Later, later, when I want to see you, my father said that I have already sent you away and sent you back to the Si family to recuperate. My father will not let me leave the palace. I, I have no choice... I want to find you every day, every day, but I have a fever all the time. Later, Brother Huang also came and looked at me with other people. I couldn’t go out. I obediently took all the medicine given by the imperial doctor. I wanted to wait I was able to see you when I got better, but later, I didn't know what happened, and I suddenly forgot, I don't know, I really don't know when... I'm sorry, I'm sorry Si Jiu, it's all my fault , I should listen to you, practice hard, if I can run faster, you won't, won't be... I'm sorry, Si Jiu, I'm sorry..."

Talking incoherently, every time Chu Yuezhi blinked, tears fell from his eyes. He felt pain, and felt that he shouldn't suffer because of it. His pain was less than one ten thousandth of what Si Yuanting endured. They didn't dare to say pain in front of Si Yuanting.He raised his hand to touch Si Yuanting's eyebrows and eyes, what a good-looking person, when Si Yuanting smiled in the past, the spring was warm and the flowers were blooming, and the spirit was clear, and no one's smile could match that of Si Yuanting, but now Si Yuanting Yuan Ting can't laugh anymore, after suffering so much suffering, how can he still laugh?Fate didn't favor Si Yuanting at all, instead it made Si Yuanting suffer all kinds of hardships in the world.

Suddenly remembered something, Chu Yuezhi tried to raise his voice, wiped away his tears and said to Si Yuanting: "That envoy, I killed him, I killed him with my own hands, and I will avenge you." Finally, he knew why when he saw that ferocious-looking man on the battlefield, he felt such deep disgust and hatred in his heart. Even though his memory was sealed, he still remembered with his body when he saw Si Yuanting in a pool of blood, The outburst of resentment towards that envoy was the first time his young heart had such a strong hatred for someone.

That night, when he heard that his father asked the imperial physician to heal his envoys, he cried and rushed over to his father. Even if he was stopped by the palace people, he struggled and shouted not to allow the imperial physician to treat him. He never He had never been so angry, and he couldn't understand why his father wanted to save that alien who wanted to hurt him and destroy Si Yuanting.He asked his father to save Si Yuanting, but his father saved the envoy.

He still remembers that when he personally cut off the man's hands and feet and put them on the flagpole to expose them to the sun, the lieutenant beside him advised him not to be too cruel. , still holding on to the collarbone cut by the man, standing under the scorching sun and watching the man lose blood and die in the sun, and finally ordered that no one should remove the body from the flagpole without his permission.So the man's remains were not finally removed until his collarbone injury began to heal and he was able to go to the ground. At that time, the remains had already been eaten by vultures until only the skeleton remained.

Killing that man didn't make him feel much better. On the contrary, when he watched the man take his last breath and collapsed due to his collarbone injury, he felt desolate and desolate. At that time, he didn't understand why. He just thought that he had been on too few battlefields, and he didn't understand the reason until now that he recovered his memory.

Even if he personally killed the envoy to avenge Si Yuanting, Si Yuanting would not be able to recover to his original appearance. Everything he did was of no avail.

Chu Yuezhi didn't want to cry, he was already 31 years old, and he was an upright man. However, facing the person in front of him, thinking of how much he owed this person and how much he had lost, he felt that he had no face to face the person in front of him. .

Even saying such words as avenging him is so ridiculous.

The envoy is dead, what about the others?The revenge of the Si family was avenged by Si Yuanting himself, but just as Si Yuanting said to him, those who died in the Si family will not come back to life, and the innocent and troubled female relatives will not be able to become wives and husbands again. Miss Boudoir, everything that happened cannot be changed or undone.

No matter how hard it is to say a word to Si Yuanting, Chu Yuezhi turned his face away in panic, thinking that he asked Si Yuanting to help him usurp the throne before, and said so many self-righteous and ignorant words about Si Laoshangshu and the Si family , he no longer had the face to beg Si Yuanting to forgive him.

He kept silently listening to Chu Yuezhi's words until Chu Yuezhi couldn't continue, and then Si Yuanting moved forward a little, and exerted strength towards Chu Yuezhi's outstretched arm, and he could not refuse Chu Yuezhi who wanted to avoid him. Yue Zhi hugged him again, and slightly pulled away the collar of Chu Yuezhi's pajamas, lowered his head to kiss the long dark scar, and then said softly: "I know, when you said how this scar came about, I just Understood. Thank you for avenging me. You have done a good job, even without me by your side, you will grow up to be what we agreed on, and I am very happy." Because I know what Chu Yuezhi said Who is the Tatar, so at that moment and even later, he couldn't harden his heart to confront Chu Yue.

The little prince who patted his small chest in the study hall and said that he would guard the people of Daheng Kingdom with him, after being separated from him for eight years, even though he had forgotten him, he did not forget the agreed ideal. He entered the military camp at the age of 17. He led troops to the frontier, fought bloody battles on the battlefield, and realized his unattainable ideal.

Chu Yuezhi settled the foreign troubles for the Daheng Kingdom, protected the people of the Daheng Kingdom, and avenged him.

"I'm sorry, Chu Qi, I decided that you abandoned me without knowing the truth of the matter. I said a lot of ugly things to you and did so many things to you that made you uncomfortable. It's my fault. You have been wronged, and I won’t do it in the future.” Si Yuanting caressed Chu Yuezhi’s trembling back back and forth, looked at the luminous pearl on the shelf with his eyes, and said to him lightly and heavily: “Chu Yuezhi Seven, you are not dirty, I am the one who is dirty, in the future if you don't want to, I will not touch you again."

Chu Yuezhi who was lying in his arms froze after hearing his words, and then shook violently, as if he was being hit hard emotionally again.

Slowly raising his head, Chu Yuezhi still had wet tears on his face. He tore off his pajamas with all his might, then grabbed Si Yuanting's hand and pressed it on his hypothermic skin, squeezing his hoarse voice. Every word he uttered was extremely painful, not for himself, but for Si Yuanting.

"Where are you, dirty? Because Chu Yuelei forced you to sleep? Then you take off your robe now, and I will serve you. I have never been unwilling to let you touch me. I am yours, you You can touch and do whatever you want, you just want me to kneel at your feet and lick the soles of your shoes. Or do you still think that you are dirty because you are a father-in-law? That was imposed on you by your father. I deny it! You are mine, Si Jiu, no one can insult you! From now on, whoever dares to look down on you or insult you again, I will kill him!"

He has always been extremely self-controlled, rarely revealing his thoughts to others, and rarely revealing his emotions in front of others. Even he himself doesn't know why, but subconsciously believes that he has no one to rely on. He can no longer be a little prince who loves to cry, and can no longer lose what he values, so he must become stronger by himself.

Even if the memory of Si Yuanting is missing, what Si Yuanting once taught and advised him, his subconscious mind actually remembers, so he practiced martial arts seriously, and took the initiative to practice in the martial arts training ground by himself, combining swordsmanship, archery and riding. After practicing until he became proficient, he went to the school non-stop. In the morning, he listened to Shao Fu's lectures to learn ancient history and state governance strategies.

Apart from the cold and unsympathetic look between his brows that originated from the royal line, and the determination and determination left to him by the frontier campaign, the temperament and charm revealed by his gestures are all based on the growth of Si Yuanting, a deep and quiet company in the past, Except on the battlefield, he is always self-cultivating and clean, self-restraining and polite, calm and restrained.

So Si Yuanting didn't see the madness and cruelty in his eyes for the first time until this moment.

The red peach eyes, when he said the last sentence, revealed a real murderous look and hatred.

He wants to kill those who have trampled on Si Yuanting's self-esteem, insulted and hurt Si Yuanting's body!He hated so much the self who was young and incompetent back then, and how he hated the self who had forgotten about Si Yuanting all these years, who had grown up but was still carefully protected by Si Yuanting without knowing it.

"Why don't you say it? You hate me, so you shouldn't protect me anymore. You have suffered so much, and the person who should be protected the most is you! I am wronged, you never, never Hurt me, why should I be wronged?!" Chu Yuezhi suddenly gave birth to a force for no reason, and pushed away Si Yuanting, who was shocked by his suddenly agitated words, and stood up from the small cabinet next to the bed. He dug out the jade that Si Yuanting asked him to put into his body every day before, and his voice was filled with uncontrollable sadness and sadness: "I showed Lin Yi, this is not ordinary jade, it is medicine jade, you didn't do it for It humiliated me and forced me to use it, but for the sake of recuperating my body. I also asked Zhou Ji to buy it secretly. I also let Lin Yi see the medicinal materials used in medicinal baths. You can’t buy them in ordinary medical centers. Yes, in fact, you ordered people to prepare the prescriptions and herbs specially for me, right! The Dongchang guards who were placed in my Prince An's mansion were not to monitor me, but you sent to protect me. !"

Those details that he hadn't paid attention to in the past suddenly became clear when he fainted due to the displacement of the golden needle.

Si Yuanting always put his fingers on his inner wrist intentionally or unintentionally. At first he always thought it was for ambiguity or restraining him, but when he thought about how Si Yuanting determined whether he used jade or not, he suddenly realized the problem So the first thing he did after waking up from a drowsiness for the first time was to bear the shame and show the jade to Lin Yi. After learning that it was medicine jade, he wanted to understand that his inexplicable sleep after using the jade before, It wasn't because he was too exhausted, but because the medicine took effect and his body was recuperated, and Si Yuanting also used his inner wrist to detect his pulse to make sure whether he had used the jade or not.The reason why he was suspicious of the medicinal materials used in the medicinal bath was that when he was in Dongchang, Si Yuanting took him to soak in the hot spring in the bath room, and he smelled the familiar medicinal smell in the hot spring pool.

Si Yuanting has always been protecting him.

From the time when his squad returned to the court, in order to keep his military power, Chu Yuelei was afraid that if he lost the military power, Chu Yuelei would attack him early, and would not hesitate to sacrifice himself to humiliate him again; when he found that he was not in good health but could not be called to the imperial doctor, he tried every means He secretly adjusted for him; he wanted to usurp the throne, and on the surface it made things difficult for him, but in fact he had been cooperating, and even helped him plan everything in advance.

"Si Yuanting, you have done so much for me, how ungrateful, wolf-hearted, and shameless must I be to be able to bear your 'I'm sorry'?!" Chu Yuezhi couldn't hear Si Yuanting say "I'm sorry" to him, In this world, he could never find another person who treated him as well as Si Yuanting.

It was clear that he was full of wounds and desolation, but he held the prosperous world in front of him, and was afraid that the wound that he could not heal would stain his hands.

"I don't want you to put yourself so low, you stand side by side with me, I even feel wronged you; I don't want you to protect me like this anymore, in the future, I will protect you, if anyone wants you to hurt, I will Make him suffer ten times!" Chu Yuezhi reached out and pulled out the dagger from the pillow, directly reaching the important part of his abdomen, and stared straight at Si, who was embarrassed because he had seen through everything. Yuan Ting said harshly: "If you insist on being the so-called dirty person, or if you want to call yourself a slave in front of me again, then I will cut the bottom clean now, and I will be like you in the future, anyway, I only think that as long as you want you, there is no need for that place."

Si Yuanting didn't expect that Chu Yuezhi would do such a crazy thing after forcibly forcing out the golden needle, so he grabbed the knife without even thinking about it, and shouted angrily, "Are you crazy?! You know that? How painful is it?! You really don't want your life, do you?!"

Chu Yuezhi was just trying to force himself to speak to Si Yuanting. He had already made Si Yuanting wait for him for 21 years, and he would not let Si Yuanting wait any longer. He wanted to make Si Yuanting wait for him. Knowing his intentions, let Si Yuanting understand his firmness, let Si Yuanting understand that in the future, if there is any more pain, let him bear it, and if you want to go to hell, he will accompany you!

Without much strength in his hand, Si Yuanting easily snatched the dagger, but Chu Yuezhi also saw Si Yuanting's hand that was stained with blood that could not be wiped off, and turned it over. Chu Yuezhi clasped Si Yuanting's wrist, resisted the pain in his heart, turned his head and shouted out: "Lin Yi, come in!"

Lin Yi, who was guarding outside the dormitory, hurried into the inner room again. Before he stepped forward, he heard Chu Yuezhi say: "Take the pulse for Mr. Si. This king wants to know what's wrong with his health. Also, tell Zhou Ji, send the order Go down, no one will be allowed in the future, and then call the company, if I let the king hear it, I will be punished according to military regulations!"

Si Yuanting didn't want Chu Yuezhi to find out that he had suffered another internal injury, so he hid his hands after entering the house, but he didn't expect that Chu Yuezhi would still find him in a hurry.Too many things happened in the past few hours. Knowing that Chu Yuezhi's memory was sealed was already a great shock to him. Seeing that he had made a mistake to Chu Yuezhi, he also felt that they could never go back to the past no matter what. He wanted to go back, but Chu Yuezhi firmly grabbed his hand.

For many years, he has never heard anyone say "I'm sorry" to him; except for Si Zhuxi, no one will cry for him; not to mention, in his 35 years of life, until today, he has only heard Someone said to him: I will protect you.

This is already too long a life for him. He has shouldered expectations and enjoyed praise, and later it is a heavy family feud and his father's order to clear up the internal worries for the Daheng Kingdom. It doesn't matter how much he hurts People care, so in the face of insults and slanders, he silently endured without a single rebuttal.

There has never been anyone like Chu Yuezhi who speaks wildly for him, cherishes and loves Chicheng at all costs.

Chu Yuezhi suddenly gave him too much, and he couldn't help questioning whether such a dilapidated self was worthy of being treated like this; the light that Chu Yuezhi brought was too pure and brilliant, and he dared not reach out to touch it. , I am afraid that I can't afford to be covered in filth in the dark for a long time.

After all, Si Yuanting was completely confused. When he heard Chu Yuezhi call him "Si Gongzi" and didn't allow his subordinates to call him "Si Gongzi" again, his hands trembled uncontrollably. The dagger fell to the ground, and reason told him to get up and leave, but he looked at Chu Yuezhi's hand clasped on his wrist, but he couldn't move for a moment.

Chu Yuezhi, who had exhausted the last bit of mental strength, could hardly hold on any longer, and Lin Yi was just about to diagnose Si Yuanting's pulse in front of him, so Chu Yuezhi snuggled his body into Si Yuanting's arms wearily, with extreme strength. Said to Si Yuanting in a soft voice: "Si Jiu, don't go, wait for me to recover, and I will be your support from now on."

Adam's apple moved up and down, Si Yuanting hugged Chu Yuezhi and turned his back slightly, until Chu Yuezhi closed his eyes and fell into a coma again, he never said a word.

Only Chu Yuezhi knew that at the moment Si Yuanting bowed his head, bitter tears fell from Si Yuanting's eyes, silently wet the cheeks that were tightly pressed together, and dripped down on Chu's face. On the long scar on Yue Zhi's collarbone.

It was the tears that Si Yuanting had endured for 21 years, and it was also the pain that Si Yuanting could not let go of for the rest of his life.